It's blue

one of 3 blues on sh-ed tmblr

[blue-banditt]

i'm blue. Male, 21

I post ab $H, my BPD symptoms, active alcoholism, misophonia, my crippling bottom dysphoria (so NSFW topics), IFS therapy (profile picture was done for therapy and depicts one of my parts), and more recently my poly relationship. Maybe some other shit here and there too idk I have a lot of issues.

I don't tw tag my posts bc I'm trying to stay relatively hidden. I also don't interact outside of $H-ED for this same reason.

I'm not gonna block minors but I'm also not gonna follow/moot them if I'm aware of your age. Feel free to block me 4 ur safety.

Dms are open to mutuals but I kinda suck at answering them. Sorry

I miss @ bathtubyearning

[quietwingsinthesky]

possession horror where the thing possessing the autistic character causes them to behave in a more neurotypical way. autistic possession horror where the thing inside you is easier to communicate with than you are, the thing inside you doesn’t have a flat affect, the thing inside you doesn’t let your body stim, the thing inside you is how you were told to behave and you can only do it when you are no longer you. autistic possession horror where you will never forget that everyone liked it better than you before they found out something was controlling you. autistic possession horror where they know what’s inside you isn’t you and debate whether it would be easier for everyone to leave you like this anyway. you agree. reblog.

[noisymentalitypirate]

I have this weird urge to cut with someone. As soon as I drink a little alcohol, or smoke, I always want to suggest it to the person I'm with. But obviously it's not possible, and it's just weird that i want to cut someone while this person cut me... like... what ? I don't want to hurt anybody, but god ! it would be soooooo good !

[hero-ofmystory3style3]

I wish this was realistic,,,,

(Idk op)

[barillapasta]

i wish there was a way to ask someone to shut the fuck up that didn’t equate to “hey i need you to minimize yourself and be less” because that’s never what i want!!! i just need you to stop whistling or im going to push you down the stairs

[cuirasseline]

time for my favourite game am i drunk enough to hit fascia yet!

[blue-banditt]

I hate looking at my cvts a day later I stg shrinkage is going to be the death of me

[blue-banditt]

So upset I got a taste of freedom, now I know what I could have, I almost wish I never did

[blue-banditt]

Staining her prescious tea towels with my blood as revenge

[deadfoxalive-deactivated2025091]

I hate that it's so hard to explain executive dysfunction to someone who's never experienced it. I want to do the thing, but every time I think about doing the thing it's like all joy has been sucked out of me and I can't get out of bed

[demonprincex]

statements like "It's wrong to masturbate about a person without their consent" and "It's wrong to do something that quietly arouses you while you are in public even if no one can see it" show that a person's understanding of morality basically involves magical thinking. like I wrote this post on the toilet. That's not the same thing as me literally shitting on you

[evelinmillershusband]

gonna try to hit beans soon!! anyone who does regularly lmk your after care processes please :)!! im really trying hard not to go back to er for an infection (they sent me to the mental unit when i had to go in for treatment 🫩)

[blue-banditt]

Some simple aftercare:

Stop the wound from bleeding by applying pressure (HARD!) for 5-10 minutes with preferably a clean cotton cloth (or an alternative like a clean cotton pad, a old ripped up t shirt or bedsheets, or if you HAVE to, paper towel. DO NOT use toilet paper or tissues as they will leave behind particles that can lead to infection.) don't peek at the wound while applying pressure. I find it easier to reduce fatigue by using the weight of my limbs or torso to apply pressure rather than brute force with muscle.

if the wound doesn't stop bleeding after applying pressure for 20 minutes SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION this is non negotiable

Use a solution such as iodine or saline, or at the very least clean running water to clean the wound.

Close the wound with butterfly bandages or steri- strips (you can look up how to make homemade ones out of band-aids if you need to). Then Apply vaseline or Neosporin to the edges of the wound (NOT INSIDE!) to keep it moist and protect against infection.

apply a sterile, nonstick, medical grade cotton pad to the wound. If you can't get nonstick, applying a thin layer of vaseline to the pad will help keep it from sticking to the wound. Depending on the location of the wound, applying medical tape to the edges of the pad may be necessary. If its small enough you can use a large band-aid instead.

Wrap the pad with reusable elastic bandage, disposable self adhesive gauze, or a clean homemade fabric bandage. Wrap it tight enough that there's pressure being applied but not so tight that it's uncomfortable.

Change bandages regularly. Personally I leave it for the first two days to give it time to wet heal, then I'll change them, use that time to flush the wound out with clean water and check for infection, and then change them daily until it is healed enough to dry out and scab over. [Pro-tip: if the cotton pad or bandaid is still sticking to the wound even with vaseline applied, you can soak your wound in warm water for a couple minutes to soften the dried blood etc. and it should come right off]

🛑if you DON'T have the proper supplies for aftercare, DON'T cut to beans, if it was an accident then seek professional medical attention so they can do the aftercare for you.🛑

[blue-banditt]

okay soooo I think I decided im just not going to engage with my mother anymore. Like full on grey rocking technique.

Which sucks bc there's a part of me that's like "I'm so close to mother!! I want to tell mother everything about my life so she can be excited with me!! I want her to give me comfort and emotional validation!! I want to feel like I can go to her to feel less lonely!!" So what I have to do instead is lock myself in my room and give MYSELF all those things instead bc I don't even have my partner to do it for me anymore

[blue-banditt]

I think my mother IS abusive actually

[blue-banditt]

I'm too sober for this shit fr imagine if I started binge drinking in my parents house again 🤪🥴

[blue-banditt]

Feeling like there's no reason to be alive but it's after 9pm so I'm ignoring those thoughts

[irresponsiblyhating]

has anyone else noticed that it’s simply not worth it