JEMA

You consume my mind.

[brownsugarmonster]

i love you in stories with no beginning or a middle or an end,

i love you in broken laws with no fences to mend.

i love you like burning buldings in a strom,

i love you in the brutal quiet disquised as the calm.

i love you in words left unspoken,

i love you like the last promise ive broken.

i love you in words of black and white,

and also in all things colorfull and bright.

i love you in shy smiles and stolen glances,

you probably dont love me back, but ill take my chances.

i love you in poetry and long words and a world of imagination,

the train of my love always ends up at your station.

i love you like a child loves everything new,

this crush will probably stay for a day or two.

i love you with a see through promise of forever written in air,

either way lol, you dont seem to care.

- @ayeshasyedaa

[blue-wordss]

“Nights like this

You would tell me you loved me

That I was not alone

I was your one and only

Your best friend

Your person

Nights like this

Is when I need you

Your presence still lingers

When you would run your fingers through my hair

And tell me everything’s gonna be okay

Nights like this

I get lonely

Because while you’re with her

I’m left with hurt

Nights like this

I miss you more”

—JM

[blue-wordss]

“Love. Everyone experiences love differently. I’ve been in love three times. Each differently from one another. I want to talk about my first young love. The first time I fell in love it was purest thing I have ever felt. I was the naivest I have ever been. But I was the happiest I have ever been. Everything seemed so perfect. I felt like I had met my soulmate. Why? Because I didn’t know what heartbreak was. I had never experienced it. I didn’t know that the person you loved could be the one to destroy you. With first loves come first heartbreak. That’s why my first love is so special to me. Because I’ll never forget how it felt to have a pure heart. Because now, my heart is missing some pieces. My love isn’t as big. My love is flawed. And it’s all because of the first heartbreak. Something that will always haunt me. Something that will always be there from now on.”

— JM

[blue-wordss]

“i am confident i am over you. so much that some mornings i wake up with a smile on my face and my hands pressed together thanking the universe for pulling you out of me. thank god i cry. thank god you left. i would not be the empire i am today if you had stayed.

but then.

there are some nights i imagine what i might do if you showed up. how if you walked into the room this very second every awful thing you’ve ever done would be tossed out the closet window and all the love would rise up again. it would pour through my eyes as if it never really left in the first place. as if it’s been practicing how to stay silent so long only so it could be this loud on your arrival. can someone explain that. how even when the love leaves. it doesn’t leave. how even when i am so past you. i am so helplessly brought back to you.”

— Rupi kaur

[niagara-flaws]

You absolutely do not get to come back, when I have finally put my pieces back together all by myself, when I can finally close my eyes without seeing your face, when I can finally think about something other than the poison words you used to say to me. It’s unfair, and it hurts.

(via niagara-flaws)

[blue-wordss]

I don’t know what it is I’m feeling

It’s not happiness

But it’s not sadness

I feel right in the middle

I don’t yet feel content

But I’m satisfied

And I’m terrified to fall again

But I’m moving forward

Little by little

I will be free from you

~JM

[wnq-writers]

And now I have to start all over again. I know things will be the same, it’s always the same. I will be crying and he will be yelling. And not much later he will leave, just like you did, because my sadness will be too much to handle. It scares me, because I don’t want to be this overwhelming sadness, I didn’t chose for it. I’m scared to explain where it all came from. I don’t want it to matter, it’s in the past. I just want to tell him “I am fucked up, my life is fucked up. And I am probably the most fucked up person you will ever meet in your entire life and that’s okay, I hope I am because I don’t wish this on anyone. I’m not okay, but I learned how to live. I’m okay being not okay.” For once, when I start over again, I hope he will let me tell this story instead of explain where the sadness started. And for once, I hope he stays.

shelosthersmile, How do you start over when you know you will fuck it up again? (via wnq-writers)

she*

[uh-haa]

“I made enough mistakes it’s true. These mistakes were choices. For everyone lives by choice. I learned in this world there are no room for mistakes.”

You took my words.. and worded them so beautifully.

[justslowlywritingitall]

There are things you wanna say, Things I wanna say; Words I see swimming in your eyes, Words that float in the back of my mind; Letters at your fingertips when we talk, Letters my eyes skim over without seeing; Questions not letting you sleep, Questions bugging me to no end, About where this is going.

I’m not really in this anymore, Neither are you. Can you feel it in the air? The heavy silences when we talk, Awkwardness all around. What happened to us? We’re not who we used to be; Who we were supposed to be. We were the closest of friends; Meant to be, Destined to be, Forever. Where did it all go wrong?

[blue-wordss]

[hunterinabrowncoat]

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

[im-drinking-your-milkshake]

amen. reblog forever

[blue-wordss]

the most abusive people are the people who will make sure you feel like THEY are the victim. the most abusive people know damn well the power they carry over your emotions. they will use that to their advantage any time they can. rememeber: to them, this is about them. not you.

[f-ck-forum]

Halsey’s “A Story Like Mine” at the NYC #WomensMarch2018

[blue-wordss]

“‘Forever and always’

She said so naively

‘For a long while’

She said so wisely

But did it matter?

When in her heart she craved for that forever

She believed in that forever

Her mind wasn’t naive but her heart was

‘Love makes you blind they said’

But her heart has always been blind

With all those stitches keeping it together

She felt strong

Little did she know she was weaker than ever before

Little did she know that she did in fact need a break

To find herself

To heal

To heal

To heal her heart from all of the heartbreak

To heal from all the pain she had caused herself

Because cuts do leave a scar

Heartbreak does leave a scar

And she has far too many”

—JM

[uh-haa]

“a girl

looking down at her heart

broken in her hands

pumping tears where the blood used to be

she picks up a pen

and she tries to stitch it back together again

to make it whole

but what she learns is not

what she set out to find

she never discovers the secret that will take away her pain

instead she finds

it is possible to be broken

and to be whole

at the same time”

— James M. Tilton

[blue-wordss]

“I write about you

Because you’re what causes my deepest pain

You inspired me one again

My thoughts are art

And you are the model

But one day you won’t be the reason I write

One day, I will find my muse

One day, I’ll write about love instead of heartbreak

One day, I won’t write about the grieving

I will write about believing

Believing that it is possible to love again

But for now,

Love is dead

My heart is broken

And you are my muse”

—JM

[blue-wordss]

Replacement hurts

Replacement requires change

That is double the hurt

Double the hurt I need to feel in order to feel okay again

What’s worse is how easy it was for you

And how difficult it is for me

But I’m at ease

Because I know I loved you

And I will never say I didn’t

Unlike you

And the difference is, I will learn

Even if you don’t

JM