Hi I just wanna say thanks for the requests I’ve been getting I’m glad you like my fics <3 I’m working then getting ready to go on a trip and also just recently built my pc so I haven’t been online in a few days. Long car rides are perfect for planning fics tho so get ready 🫡 I’ll have time to write in a few days lov u!!
Can you do a hasan fic where he is watching all these compilations of him being down bad for you and you walk in and catch him.
Thanks for requesting!! This idea is so cute.
Also it still baffles me just how little fluffy fics there are for Hasan so anyone, feel free to request because I’m not overloaded at all! The more specific the better usually I do not write smut though sorry <\3
Hasan m.list
Shipping investigation
(Luv this gif)
Warnings/content: gender neutral language used for reader, reader is also a content creator, mention of cyberbullying (sarcastic), Hasan blushes a little, forehead kiss, 4th wall break but not really, unedited we die carrying the flame.
Synopsis: after over a year of secretly dating (and public flirting before that) you and Hasan have finally gone public with your relationship. This leaves months and months of shipping content that he has yet to capitalize from. But not anymore! He finally gives chat free rein to send him some videos to react to, all to confident they did a good job at hiding. They did not and there’s enough compilations of Hasan down bad to prove it. As he attempts to defend himself for being so confidently obvious, you walk into the scene of the crime.
You and Hasan have recently gone public with your relationship. There was a few, allbeit mostly positive reactions from viewers.
“OMG YAYYY”
“I knew it. I wasn’t crazy”
And of course
“Yeah we know.. thought you were together longer honestly”
Many shippers were vindicated that day.
There were a few HATERS of course but that’s just the reality of posting online. It was the main reason you hid it for so long. Hasan’s haters attempting to get digs at him through you. But it was time, your relationship was strong enough to handle the worms that disapproved and finally just being able to say it after so long was freeing.
The shippers… or should I say truthers were ecstatic. While there was a lot of shipping content, edits, compilations, tweets and clips etc before the announcement. The sheer number of videos pointing out all the signs multiplied in the days following.
And that’s why Hasans here, streaming and allowing people to send in videos about the whole affair for him to react to. Convinced it’s not as obvious as people are saying. As before this, he’s stayed away from the content like.
“Of course now that I’ve confirmed it every fucking person is saying that already knew. Performative shipping.” Hasan chides the chat as he tabs away some videos. Stream just started and it’s all anyone’s talking about.
Loldontuno:HASAN IVE BEEN A TRUTHER SINCE 2023
He opens the users chat history and yeah.. one of the first streams you and Hasan did together they were shipping them. And got timed out for it.
“Whatever we have a lot to get through, no they’re not coming on stream they’ve had enough of you guys this week.”
While you’re used to the Internet as you stream yourself, and you had a lot of overlap in your audience it was just an influx of a lot more interaction than usual. You’re taking a mental health day and then farming this thoroughly tomorrow.
The first clip wasn’t very incriminating. He remembers it well though. You’d been on Fear&, for the first time since you started seeing each other and he wasn’t necessarily slaying the social interactions. He was a bit distracted, he’ll admit.
Wobblelobble6967: “it wasn’t obvious he says” him: 😻
“IT WASNT! You guys are just weird.” He says defensively.
The next clip was when he was on your stream, cooking some TikTok viral shit that ended up not being good. You two were in sync, it wasn’t the first time you’d cooked together and it showed.
“Nah chat we were just cooking.” Denial is a river in Egypt though. He adjusts his glasses as if it’ll get less incriminating. It only makes him see how distracted he looked cutting the vegetables.
Dontlookatmepls: knife safety was secondary to her beauty
“Okay yeah. I get how you could MAYBE see it. Maybe.”
Next clip. It was just him. He accidently went on a rant about how much he liked having you on stream. Alone this time in his office after you’d left. The edit goes into 5x speed. Clear he was rambling about what good content you make, how funny you are, how much he genuinely likes hanging out with you. The sincerity bled off of him.
He clears his throat and takes a drink to sheepishly hide his face as it goes on and on.. and on.
“I talk about all my friends like that.”
Luzeecrtl: sure bud
PridefulPear: that’s how I talk to my partner who I’m MARRIED TO btw
GerryMandor: right and I’m not a 2 year sub (called it btw)
He moves on.
The next one is a compilation called “Hasan Piker giving [Name] heart eyes for 6 minutes and 23 seconds straight”
It was one of the shorter ones.
While he failed to react to the video because he simply felt so called out he could do nothing but thousand yard stare, you peaked into his office, knocking a soft rapping sound on the doorframe. His head snapped around to look.
“Whatcha doing?” You ask. Already knowing. He’s the one streaming this to thousands of people and perhaps you were one of them.
“Uh.. drugs?” (Jk)
“I’m just streaming, you know watching.. stuff.”
“Stuff?”
“Yeah, stuff. Things. You know. Shipping stuff. Clout farming our relationship.” He speaks in a clipped tone. Clearly fighting off the tinge of embarrassment that’s been blooming in his chest. He’s a streamer, he can deal with embarrassment. He’s shared so much shit on the Internet it’s actually stupid that he feels so caught right now. “Wanna.. come on stream?”
You come into frame in your comfy garb. Respecting the sanctity of your mental health day by doing self care like joining in on chats dog pile and wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he sits back in his ergonomic chair.
“Aw I’ve seen this one.” Looking over his shoulder at the compilation. Unlike him, you liked watching the shipping content before you announced your relationship. As you yourself were also and you + Hasan truther for obvious reasons. A sort of “I know something you don’t” satisfaction. In a way it prepared you for everyone’s opinions about it.
He groans dragging a large hand over his face, pulling at his defined brow, his circular glasses get pushed up his face, now crooked as he removes it, revealing a slight flush to his neck, cheeks, and ears.
“Not you too, everyone’s fucking bullying me.” He lets an amused breath out of his nose—almost a sigh—even as he conveys his suffering.
“Whatever, go touch grass.” You kiss the top of his head. “Cyber bullying isn’t real, just turn off the computer.”
He wishes stream didn’t start an hour ago or he totally would. With you. “Funny. Haha.”
Heylololol: YEAH GET BULLIED
Rip2me: wait they’ve got a point…
Justpeary: r we gonna ignore the fact [name] already seen this?
Luzeecrtl: @ Justpeary: they covertly infiltrated the shipping discourse months ago. Investigative journalism.
Hasan decides to move onto a different segment, realizing he can only take this endearing but intensely embarrassing content in micro doses before he looses sanity.
“Okay time to move onto the economic state of the world.” He closes the tabs
“Maybe we’re in an edit right now.” You give the camera a look.
A/n: maybe not an edit, try a fanfic
Thanks for reading this was a bit longer and I tried to go a little more and I looked at my clock and it was…. 5:02 am cool cool. So I’m gonna sleep I hoped you liked it. It’s also unedited for the same reason so 🙏🏻 cut me some slack.
Working on the next Hasan fic that was requested and I think it’ll be a little longer this time!
Thanks so much for requesting I was honestly surprised there was anyone still reading fics for him since there aren’t many people writing them lately so even though there isn’t a lot of us I still thank you for the love and notes and everything <3
I’m also thinking about making something multi chapter and posting it to ao3, thoughts? Suggestions? I’m open to it!
My requests are still open and if you want to find more you can look up the tag under my profile or find it in the RPF section of my masterlist
Hi! Could you write a hasan fic about them irl streaming together? Maybe he’s speaking at an event and we tag along to goof around with Marche while he’s on stage?
I love your work thank you so much!!!
Hello anonie! Thx for requesting and I’ll try my best! This is an amalgamation of vague memories of irl streams and clips I’ve seen before and just good vibes! Streaming and RPF is a new genre for me so excuse any awkwardness and insanity (it comes with the territory of me + fanfic + big hot guy, anyway)
I’m also flaring up and not feeling well and spending the majority of the day resting when not working. So lots of TIME to write but the quality may be questionable
Hasan m.list
<3 I hope you enjoy
Synopsis: Hasan gets invited to speak at a college during a pretty large event. There’s a solid amount of downtime and it turns into a content trip with Hasan nailing social interaction and side quests with Marche to hunt down a legendary food truck (which makes you late for a very important segment including Hasan… oops!!)
A/n: I do see multi part potential in this but also I’m scared of it.
Warnings/content: platonic coded, except like the first part bc we all know he looks so good in his suit era, gender neutral language used for reader, vague politics and specific side quests, gay wedding crashing, Hasan lowkey neglected rip, brief mention of clown, Marche is the favorite child. Short but that is NOT A CRIME, also Easter egg for this weeks fear& if you find it you get a cookie!!!!
Vows and Gay Tacos + Hasan was sort of there
Hasan was in a tailored suit and you were very distracted about that in particular. Obviously, he’s here for his political career; particularly refreshing type of nuance when it came to leftist rhetoric; his massive success as a political commentator.
The stream had just started. Camera pointed to both of you mic’d up in the back of the car and heading to the college campus where the convention is taking place.
“Chat doesn’t he look so handsome in his suit? Real spiffy.” You had to comment on it. Especially since now you feel underdressed in your slightly-less-casual casuals.
Hasan looks up from his phone which had been scanning the chat, as well as his notes. His dark brows furrowed behind the thick rims of his glasses.
“Spiffy?” He asks like it’s offensive.
“I called you handsome too!”
He shakes his head, but the sheepish smirk he gets at unexpected compliments breaks at the corner of his lips.
He reads the chat a bit more before explaining what they’re going to be doing all day, his later public speeches, and some other #important PSAs for the rest of the day.
But who gives a shit? Marche sends you the website of a rainbow Mexican food truck that’s known to be in this area called ‘Love Is Tacos’ and if they didn’t review the tacos during PRIDE MONTH it would probably be considered a hate crime.
Also they look really good.
They get dropped off and head inside. Hasan answers equations from chat he already answered on the way there.
“Oh and because there’s no filming allowed backstage before, [name] and Marche are doing a gay taco review in a bit.” He says offhandedly because it is, granted the least important content the streams found to contain, is also the part chat gets most excited about.
“It’s the only reason I showed up.” You shrug at the camera.
The day progresses. There’s some guest appearances as they walk through the hallways and large rooms with booths and people varying in age from college students to oversized suits to more experienced speakers with greying hair.
While Hasan does actual work you try and find out exactly where the taco truck is going to be, which is surprisingly difficult, given its neon rainbow. But you were pretty sure it wouldn’t be too far away between now and Hasan’s segment. Making the taco acquisition completely possible.
Before going your seperate ways, you and Marche promise to bring Hasan tacos and quesadillas with a rainbow cheese pull.
While Marche manages the stream you switch between twitter and maps trying to triangulate the location of the Love is Tacos. Chat is hyped, spamming rainbows and tacos and queer joy. Some chatters who claim to be local say that while it has a theme, it’s not a gimmick at all and is actually really fucking good. Which only makes you and Marche hungrier.
“Are you sure you know where you’re going?” Marche asks looking over your shoulder at your malfunctioning Google Maps.
“I’m like 67% sure.”
The camera wobbles as he makes the 67 motion.
“But seriously I need the gay tacos, bad.”
This is when a chatter informs them that the truck was hired to cater a wedding today. She hoped this was fake news.
“You’re joking. Please say you’re joking.”
PridefulPear: no I’m currently watching stream getting ready it’s MY wedding
“Oh fuck you,” Marche groans. “Wait sorry congrats that’s so great, happy for you.”
“Why didn’t you say that earlier??”
PridefulPear: IM SORRY but like you can come if you want it’s just in a park.
“What?? No we can’t crash your wedding to make a taco review!” You say. While it’s flattering this is also ridiculous and that’s the most special day of their lives.
“Please we have to.” Marche insists.
PridefulPear: my partner also watches the stream we would be honored for our gay ass wedding to be christened by the hasanabi broadcast
A twitter account of the same name requests to dm you. It’s a location to a beautiful park not that far away. You also get forwarded the wedding invitation, it matches up. You take a gander and the twitter account also looks legit.
“Okay we could either attend a gay wedding and get tacos or get lured to our untimely demise.” You look up at Marche weighing the options.
“I’m willing to take that risk.” He nods solemnly.
“Onward!”
Now, you and Marche really tried to be on time. But they had a clown. At the wedding. It made for WAYY better content. Besides it was close and it gave you both a false sense of security.
Though you didn’t want to overstay your welcome, you wished the happy couple the best and let them get on with the best day of their lives. Marche also paid for the gay taco truck.
“I’m not doing this cause I’m nice I’m manipulating the audience into thinking I’m philanthropic.” As he sends over the Apple Pay.
But eventually they leave with their tacos and balloon animals. The “review” was just them nodding and pointing as the gorged on their select while they walked.
“Ohmygoditssogood” you say chewing improperly.
Then you feed Marche a chip cause he’s also holding the camera.
Once the speed walking review is completed they finally manage to sneak into the back of the lecture hall, where Hasan sits at the front with a few other highlighted speakers and behave yourselves.
Hasan hasn’t noticed. He reached a flow state up there and while you couldn’t be prouder, you were more excited for the rainbow cheese pull he’s going to get from the quesadillas when he’s done. Also for him to watch the clown clip.
The end?
A/n: honestly I have no idea what’s going on or why I chose this series of events but I hope you liked it. It also felt rushed near the end and I’m sorry for that but I started this at 8 am and now it’s 9 PM soooo… TIME IS AN ILLUSION. Also I can’t be normal about anything. You will learn this about me.
Ps: generative ai is so ass it could never recreate this
Can you do a fic where vou sometimes just lay around in the same room when he is streaming. Sometimes falling asleep and waking up because of him yelling.
Hi! I’m guessing this is for Hasan. Thx for requesting Anonie. I had a pretty rough day so I’m as tired as y/n rn :-: so excuse any mistakes
Hasan m.list
Pillow-sniper
Warnings: none rlly, fluff, chat calling you and Hasan “parents”, gender neutral language, “Baby” as a petname (1), a pillow gets thrown, mention of the 8th amendment of the US constitution. (Citing my sources 🫡)
The couch in Hasan’s office was much more comfortable than the one in the living room. And besides, you like being close. He likes being close. It’s just the most optimal lounging location for you. Especially since today there was a lull in the insanity, his reactions were quiet enough to actually take a well deserved nap….
“Chatter- you can not be SO FUCKING STUPID! What are you TALKING ABOUT!!”
Hasan has been stun-locked again. A chatter who’s either found themselves with a bad take or just a bad way of expressing it has caught his eye and now, with his strong sense of justice and drive to educate the silly gooses of the internet, he’s interrupting your slumber.
You bolt up with a quick, disoriented breath in. Hair unkept, lines on your cheeks and arms, minor aching from how you curled yourself up. You should be used to this by now. But usually someone yelling means something is wrong.
With Hasan it’s just another Tuesday. You were in his office anyway, if you wanted real quiet you’d sleep in his bed. Hearing him talk and react to stream is usually soothing.
You should’ve just watched it from the other room, you deduce.
He hears the creaking as you rub your face and get your bearings. Head snapping with a cringing, apologetic look.
“Shit,” he mutes his mic. “Sorry.”
He’d known you’d been sleeping and had tried to keep it down since—and you didn’t hear this from me—actually require it to survive. He knows to conk out like that you must really need it.
He can’t stop the grin either. At how fucking cute you look when you’ve just woken up. A real treat.
Now, usually you’d say it’s fine. And not to interrupt stream over it, but you’re tired from working. Your first instinct? Especially with that shit eating grin he’s wearing at your expense?
☠️ Throw a pillow and aim for the cranium ☠️
It frizbees through his office hitting him in the side of the head. Unprepared, he tries to catch it and just ends up spinning a few times. It landing in his lap.
As chat does. It gets clipped. It’s marvelous.
“Hey! That- hey!” He was so caught off guard he doesn’t know exactly what to say. His brown eyes are wide with appalled amusement, and freckled nose scrunched like he just can’t believe you’d resort to violence.
“Sleep deprivation is cruel and unusual punishment.” You croak, crossing your arms. Voice still tired from the day, and from the sleep.
His expression melts, he rolls his eyes—at himself for letting your adorable sleepiness erase what annoyance had accrued—and hugs the pillow to his chest, mirroring your posture.
“Baby, don’t pull out the constitution right now I said I was sorry.”
The stream, still muted, can see the smirk in his lip, and affection in his expression. The chat reads:
GollyWHAM69: HASAN FOCUS
okaysynergy¿: proper name.. place name.. backstory stuffff
Omegalolverse: OMG LOL ON SIGHT
Pepeforce555: are our parents fighting or flirting?
ProceedNOcaution: @ Pepeforce555 y not both?
You start to stretch, arms reaching over your head before pulling the blanket over your sleep-slumped shoulders. “I’m gonna lay in your bed. With soundproofing between us”
The pillow falls out of his lap. He almost looks alarmed, or disappointed. He may not ever admit it out loud but he does like looking over his shoulder and knowing you’re there. A room away may not seem like a lot, but in a sea of constant conversation and media and stimulation. Let alone the hot burning garbage the state of the world is right now, it’s too far.
“No, I’m almost done. Please just stay? I’ll order you food. Well watch your show later.”
You think about it. Which, makes him throw his head back with a groan.
Your turn to roll your eyes.
“Fine. I’ll stay.” You give in. Planning to anyway before he begged (though it was nice)
He nods. Promising to keep it at a lower and consistent volume for the last hour, and tosses you his phone so you can order for yourself.
The stream is too sidetracked to get back to the topic that pissed him off in the first place. He got pillow-sniped out of the stun-lock. He gets sent a hundred variations of the clip pretty much instantly and your aim is complimented, and analyzed like a pro baseball pitch in slow-mo.
~~~
A/n: sorry if this is short but I’m flaring up atm. It kind of turned into a crack fic sorry about that (it’s my specialty) but it was also fun to write! Hopefully as I get back into practice after a long hiatus I can make better/longer fics <3
Ps! I don’t use ai to write my fics and will NEVER do so no machine can copy my whimsy. It requires real biological unhingness, selective cringe, and run on sentences they can’t replicate with logical mathematical equations
I also just saw the movie thunderbolts with my girl too what a coincidence!
Anyways could you write something about Bucky’s fabulous Dyson air wrap blowout. I’m thinking maybe y/n is the sales person selling it to him in the store and that’s how they met, or maybe the team got him a hair appointment for a special event and he couldn’t help but stare into his hairstylist’s beautiful orbs.
I’m so down bad for Bucky rn it’s insane so anything would be appreciated 🙏🏼😘
Honeybear ik this is you 😼😼😼😽😽
Also this request is months old im sorry
this is a crackfic please don’t hate me
Bucky’s Blowout
Y/n has done thousands of blowouts. Some on herself sure, a few on the more usual female clientele but.. the market was too competitive. If she wanted to make a living as a cosmetologist and hair stylist in New York City, she needed to find an untapped market.
She can cut, color, and treat all types of hair but heat styling—specifically blowouts—she’s always been impartial to.
And that’s now she became the number one stylist specializing in fabulous male blowouts in the country. And usually, her clients were pretty high profile. It was only a matter of time before she set her Dyson Airwrap Studio Plus upon his beautiful locks.
James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes.
She can’t say she’s not nervous. He’s the former Winter Solider; sort of congressman; improvised leader of the New (offically unofficial) Avengers.
His eyes are a piercing icy blue that makes her freeze upon first meeting, just for a second. They hold the weight of lifetimes and carefully organized secrets. She snapped herself out of it by admiring the dark ash brown of his hair. Shoulder length and slightly frizzy. The texture looks so smooth and soft it drifts in the soft breeze of the overhead fan.
She likes the look of his hair naturally… even though her stylist instincts are already formulating a plan to bend it to her will.
“You’re who they hired to do my hair?” He asked, leaning against the chair of the spacious green room. The New Avengers are making a public appearance. He eyes the heavy looking bag being rolled behind her, as well as the tote over her shoulder as she holds the heavy metal door open.
He moves to help, holding it open with what he considers to be light pressure as she hauls her things inside.
“Yes? Were you expecting someone else?”
“..no, never mind. Hi I’m Bucky.” He takes a quick breath before he introduces himself, seeming a bit out of practice. He offers his right hand to shake.
She does. It’s rough and warm. She resists the urge to let her eyes flick to the other one that hands at his side.
“Y/n. Nice to meet you. Don’t worry you’re in great hands.”
“What’s that stuff you’re putting in?” He asks after looking at her suspiciously in the mirror for a while while she puts products in to style it.
“It’s foam that’ll make your hair keep the style all day.”
He doesn’t respond for a moment. He’s sitting stiffly, looks like he’s being held at gunpoint; or perhaps a cat forced to wear a hat. Either way he’s got the essence of he can’t escape and he would really like to.
She asked if she could touch his hair before, didn’t try and bother him or talk him up like most people. She’s not sure what to do.
“I was thinking of just cutting it all off.”
Naturally, that’s fair. Most people don’t want to deal with long hair, and he should be able to do what he wants with it but.. she’s sort of offended he’d say that so casually to her face.
“Really? It looks great though! Maybe just a little on the ends but.. I mean I’ve been doing this almost 20 years, I’ve seen a lot of good hair.”
“It just grows to fast” he grumbles.
“Oh no my steak is too juicy and my lobster too buttery.” She combs through his slightly damp hair.
“You can try to change my mind but I don’t think I will. Belova set this up.”
Ahh now she gets it. He was probably pressured to do something about his hair. Or lost a bet. Or this is a prank, or maybe even deep deep deep deep down he likes it?
Bucky was trying to stay alert. The feeling of whatever foam shit is being combed through his hair with her fingers is making him want to fall asleep. He wishes he could relax but a part of him sees it as a weakness.
Then she pulls out the “Dyson Airwrap Studio Plus” and it is a big purple and pink chrome monstrosity of a device.
“What the fuck is that?” He sits up slightly.
“I just said it was the Dyson-“
“Yeah I know what you said but.. what the fuck is that?” He looks over his shoulder. Realizing she’s actually rather close. Closer than it appeared.. the little sign on the rear view mirrors makes a lot of sense how.
She smells like flowery hair products with a slight chemically note. And she holds that thing like she knows how to use it.
“It uses air to smooth the hair out and make it really shiny. Blowout”
“You’re gonna put my hair in that thing?”
“I could use a brush and a blow dryer but this is a lot faster.” She had a hard time believing of all the things he’s scared of a Dyson Airwrap.
He sighs deeply, looking her up and down considering asking for mercy.
“Fine, okay.” He turns back around with an anticipatory breath.
“It can be a little loud.”
She gets a few sections done, and Bucky ignores the slight burning smell. It’s nostalgic.. in a way. And he thinks about all the things she’s told him so far. She’s being doing this for 20 years.. so it’s not like he’s scared she’ll fuck it up or anything but-
“I read that beauticians have a lot of joint pain.”
Real smooth.
She ignores the slightly incorrect and outdated term and nods.
“Uh.. yeah we do.”
With his enhanced hearing he’s even heard some her joints crack over the blowing of the stupid wrap thingy.
Honestly relatable.
“Sorry.” For what he doesn’t know exactly? Talking at all? Assuming things? Having hair?
She snorts. Laugh at him. He isn’t sure whether to be relived or not.
“No it’s fine. You’re right. We try and retire early.”
Retirement… he wishes he retired, instead he ran for fucking congress. Turns out, politicians are not good coworkers. Especially if you used to assassinate people.
She finishes up with the Airwrap, his hair isn’t brushed out yet so he looks a little crazy in his opinion. But she’s right, it’s all smooth and shiny now.
She really just wants to run her fingers through it, but she doesn’t think they’re on that level yet, unfortunately. She takes a wide tooth comb and starts running it through.
“I guess it wasn’t that bad.” He doesn’t mumble it but he doesn’t sound like he wants to admit it either. His sharp eyes meet hers for a moment. Is it surrender or fondness. Either way.. she thinks she’s got herself a new regular!
If she had a nickel everytime she was hired to give an Avenger a blowout, she’d have two nickels. Thor.. 2014. It was an experience.
@misstheromance27
And that’s how Bucky fell in love with his hair stylist. Thank you
In my mind he’s such an awkward old man and no one can change my mind. He’s so babygirl
Hi guys it’s been a while I’ve had a lot of chronic pain and the world has left me pretty uninspired to write sooo I would really appreciate any requests! I can’t promise I’ll get to them.
You can just send an ask for any character/media I have in my masterlist even if there isn’t any fics for them currently. I’m trying to expand my horizons. I wrote so much MHA fanfic in quarantine I think it rotted my brain (no offense it was fun)
All of these fics are written as x readers for real people so if they ever ask to have it removed I will 🙏🏻
I’m not here to make people unnecessarily uncomfortable (but I doubt anyone will ever see this) for this reason—and personal reasons—I won’t write smut sorry 😿
Like the other lists, any name here are up for requests even if they don’t have any current fics
Hasan Piker | Hasanabi
Pillow sniper | Fluff
Vows and Gay Tacos + Hasan was there | Fluff, Platonic, Marche centric, improvised pride fic
shipping investigation | Fluff
I don’t watch many streamers but I’m open to requests for others
Bruce is anxious to get back to Earth. To his work, his apartment, routine. He left when the world was in a state of disarray. Thor assures him the Ultron situation was taken care of, though Thor’s idea of “taken care of” is actually usually evidence of the exact opposite.
“Hey, Thor how long is it gonna take to fix the Bifrost?” He asks the god for what feels like the thousandth time. “Seems like sort of a long time, for the most advanced civilization known like- ever, so…”
Only like the 3rd. Bruce just feels pretty annoying asking again. Thor looks like some big caged cat, he’s already showing signs of zoochosis. He’d always talked about how he loathes the idea of sitting on a throne ruling. Seeing him actually doing it though, is a different beast altogether. He was pacing back and forth about the room. The evening glow and a light breeze drift in from the balcony doors, casting a shadow below his brow furrowed in thought.
“Well you know, Banner. Hofund must be reforged in the eternal forge, and the Bifrost rebuilt… it could be weeks. Unfortunately.”
“No, I don’t really know much about… magic stuff, Thor.” He feels like he’s going insane. Technically all this stuff is science, however, it’s so far removed from all of this understanding. He feels more like he’s in Wonderland.
In reality the Bifrost may be repaired in the next few days, but he’s only just gotten Bruce back and he cannot follow him to Midguard because of his duty to his people. So the most logical thing to do is to prolong is stay until he can be spared and join the rest of the Avengers. Continue to save Midgard on epic adventures. Besides, there is a lingering fear that as soon as Bruce leaves his realm he’ll get lost in space again, and he hardly took that well the first time.
He imagines missing out and missing Banner so hard he runs into the ornate desk that used to belong to his father, knocking from it some sort of vase that emits glowing dust as it shatters upon the floor. Would he break Asguard in the same way? Clumsily? And with his father’s true legacy, the true foundation of which Asguard was founded and the nine realms were claimed, is it even a throne he wants to sit on?
Bruce noticed this rumination. And Thor’s never been one to cry over spilled stardust. He usually breaks things on purpose, so seeing him so disheartened about it is actually worrying.
A chemically calloused hand closes around his firm bicep.
“It’s alright, man. don’t worry about it. It’s been two years what’s a few weeks?” Bruce pulls on his arm, grabbing attention away from the vase melting into sand, which then evaporates? How is it..? ‘ Not important ’ Bruce reminds himself. He isn’t able to unhand Thor even before he turns back to Bruce with a smile.
“Thank you, Banner. Until the time comes for you to return to your realm, you will be celebrated as a hero to Asguard. The most welcomed guest.”
It’s hard not to just say ‘Yes your Majesty’ when Thor looks at him like that. Slapping a firm hand over his shoulder that rattles his ribs.
“Thor- that’s, uh well… Thanks, but Hulk killed your sister’s giant wolf thing, not me. I’m just- a little out of my element here.” He wipes a free hand over his flushed cheek.
“Hulk may have done the slaying, my friend but it was you who chose to fight on the bridge. For that I could never thank you enough.” Thor knows how much he feared never returning to himself. Thor never feared in the slightest though, he has far more faith in Bruce than Bruce does in himself. However, Bruce insinuating he’s got no place on Asgard makes the small ache in his chest grow larger. Not like he blames him, Thor doesn’t feel like he belongs here either.
“You don’t need to thank me for that. It was the right thing to do.” Though, it’s nice to be recognized, it’s top 5 most terrifying things he’d ever done. He was out of options, and he’s still grappling with how Hulk was in control for two years, and had a life of his own.
He was about to respond, before a booming voice sounds from outside the study.
“It was you! You- Royal Oaf!” The booming voice of Brunnhilde sounds, accompanied by shattering glass and a short feminine yelp.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about-!” Received with more sounds of struggle and cracking marble.
Thor lets out a sigh, shoulders dipping. With a squeeze of a hand on Bruce’s shoulder he leaves the room to find Brunnhilde threatening Loki, again. “Out of all the people to enact your schemes, you choose the one who could kill you the swiftest?” The Young King’s thumbs hang on his belt. Mostly unbothered.
“It is not a scheme.. this time.” He’s breathlessly pressed against the wall by the huntress, shined boots dangling for the ground. “I am the Prince you must unhand me.”
“You are a bug under my shoe.” She throws him.
Bruce thought the two were becoming unlikely friends, maybe they still are. Just slowly? “Maybe I sound like a broken record but what exactly did he do?”
“Nothing!” Loki claims from the opulent floor.
“Your witch of a brother keeps replacing my alcohol with juice!” Enchanted to taste like mead. However, as a professional alcoholic, she can taste the difference.
“I’m not a witch! Gods, you are insufferable.” He sits up, tender from the beating.
“If you were maybe you would have seen that coming, brother.” Thor chuckles. There was something very right and amusing about Loki being thrown about.
“Find another miserable fool to taunt.” Brunnhilde straightens her tunic which is lined with leather plates, always prepared for battle. “I’m getting a drink. the kind that inebriates me.”
“So you admit you’re a miserable fool?”
She doesn’t respond, just struts down the corridor and turns into the hallway to the cellar.
Thor strides over and pulls Loki to his feet by the back collar of his robes. Dusting his shoulders, attempting to be helpful but only jostles the trickster more. “Perhaps you require a new hobby brother.”
Loki steps away, straightening himself with a click of his silver tongue. “I do not require a “hobby”. I only insist that our noble friend stops drunkenly presenting me with all of her secrets and compartmentalized emotions. Now that she has access to the beverage of the gods she actually gets drunk enough to wallow.”
A small beating part of him sympathizes with her struggles and he wishes not to be reminded he has a heart. Thank you very much.
“Well, you know maybe both of you need something to do. So you don’t fall into your bad habits, I mean.” Bruce suggests. Loki redeemed himself in battle and Brunnhilde had returned to her home.
“I don’t have bad habits, mortal. My bad decisions were all on purpose and I was in complete control.” Except New York, part of that was the influence of the tesseract but he would rather be strangled than admit that particular weakness.
“Banner! That is a fantastic idea! As the prince Loki should be my second in command!” Thor claps his hands together, the sound echoes over the marble interior of the palace.
Loki would usually have a mischievous twinkle in his eye at the notion of more power, in hopes to claim it all for himself. But even he knows when enough is enough, and he’d much rather avoid any responsibility that could cause any more banishment, imprisonment, disappointment, or resentful emotion.
He is simply sick and tired of being jealous of Thor. And now without Oden to further divide and alienate them, the word “brother” is less of a challenge and more of a begrudging fact.
“You couldn’t possibly trust me to be your second in command.”
“Alright not second, maybe… fifth?” It was Loki who deceived Hella, sending her into the void of space where she will hopefully stay. He deserves some trust.
“And now I’m insulted.”
Thor cringes at the delivery, trying to think of a better way to include his brother in the Kingdom’s affairs but he is swiftly called away by a royal attendant, much of the infrastructure was destroyed in the battle for Asgard, and even worse, countless good soldiers were slaughtered by Hella. Not to mention, most governing bodies were pulverized. Literally. The maids still clean the bone dust from the halls.
“Loki, maybe you should consider what he said.” Bruce used to try and ‘not my business’ his way out of most things. Really, it shouldn’t be his problem. But it doesn’t take a genius or a master of deduction to see that Thor is unpracticed in the whole ruling thing.
“It’s not a true offer, Bruce Banner.” He speaks his name with contempt. “He pities me and what I’ve become. It would simply be a consolation prize.” He scoffs. Unable to meet his eyes.
“Or maybe he actually needs help and for once you should step up and be there?” He motions between Loki and Thor who turns the corner far down the corridor.
There it is. The strike of familiar resentment for all he’s been denied- No, for all he’s squandered himself.. he mixes up the two occasionally, but the wound bleeds no less.
“You know not of what you speak, mortal. All the time he spent gallivanting on earth when he could have been preparing to rule is not my responsibility.”
“Well he spent a lot of it cleaning up your messes-“ okay Bruce should watch his tongue. There’s only so much he can say to convince him. “I’m just trying to say: whenever he talked about being king he always wanted you to be a part of it. Okay? he speaks higher about you than you really deserve.” An understatement.
Loki gets the urge to throw a dagger to his throat. However, he has a point. Thor isn’t nearly slick enough to pretend to find him redeemable all these years just to stab him in the back when he lets his guard down. He fears soon though, he will get the treatment he deserves from his brother. That Thor will turn into his father and Loki will be the scapegoat for all his problems. Deserved or not.
“It’s really adorable, the way you speak of my dear brother. Your affections for him nauseate me. As do all your other quirks.” Loki flicks his cape as he turns, chin turned up in stiff deflection.
“I get it man! Hurt people hurt people or whatever, but you know I gotta point-!”
Loki transforms into a raven and flies out a large window. Open to air out the palace from all recent death. Wishing to leave the confrontation far more swiftly than his usual form’s legs could carry him.
"My King, there are outsiders seeking your audience. No one knows how they got into the palace, though they claim to wish no harm." A crooked old attendant in indigo robes brisks down the hall, keeping up with Thor's long strides. He's nearly as old as Odin was, though shows little signs of retiring. Being one of the few surviving royal attendants since Hela's coup, has instilled newfound energy within the old man.
“How peculiar, I wonder about his intentions. Did the strangers identify themselves, Old Man Selby?” Officially, his title is ‘ The Wise Attendant Selby Of The Golden Concil’ but now he is the only attendant and there is no council. Thor always preferred to speak as he saw: Old Man.
“One man claimed himself to be an ‘analyst’ of the Time Variance Authority , there is also a stoic woman in some sort of uniform that he refers to only as ‘B-15’ Not in all my millennia have I ever heard of such a thing.” Selby shook his head, there are enough problems as it is.
“I have heard of this post called ‘analyst’. From my understanding they analyze.”
“It is not the position I am lost on. Your Majesty.”
“That was my attempt at a joke, Old Man Selby. Seems as though your sense of humor is as sour as you are.” Thor chuckles nervously. In reality the fact that the old attendant has never heard of this time authority frightens Thor to the very core. However, he know that the un known is constant and never surrenders, so neither shall he.
The analyst in a perfectly tailored brown suit gawks at the gilded spires of the throne room. He strolls up and down the isle cordially complimenting the ornate architecture to himself or to his company, uniformed with a tag on her suit’s chest ‘ B-15 ’. If only he’d seen it’s opulence before Hela’s short but destructive reign. Really, he ogles because nothing is supposed to exist here at all.
Selby steps through the doorway, clearing his throat for the attention of their strange guests. The fundamental lack of palace guards, staff, and natural light pouring in from the windows–now shattered and covered with old velvet curtains–gives the attendant a small, budding sense of shame for the state of ruin the noble room has fallen to.
The two bureaucratically dressed visitors turn their gazes upon Selby, the analyst retakes his place standing next to the tall and sure woman, helmet removed and held at her side in eased attention. Thor doesn’t wait to be announced, stepping forward immediately. His presence brings a buzzing sensation to the room, along with the scent of ozone.
“Your audience with His Majesty Thor; God of Thunder; Protector of the Nine Realms; King of Asgard has been accepted.”
“Oh wow, I am-” The man goes to introduce himself, but turns to his companion with a softer, unsure edge. “Do we bow? Kneel? How low is too low?” He starts to lower.
“That will not be necessary.” Thor cuts in, taking a step closer.
“Of course,” He straightens himself offering a hand instead. “I am Mobius, this is my colleague Officer B-15. We’re from the Time Variants Authority. We make sure the flow of time moves as it should.”
“I am familiar with this greeting!” Thor shakes his hand with an enthusiastically strong grip.
Peaking around the dusty velvet curtains over the shattered stained glass windows is raven, tilting it’s head in inquisition.
Brunnhilde hauled a barrel of Asgard’s strongest mead to a minor courtyard of the palace, which remained mostly untouched by Hela and her terror. Even in the serene slab of peace she cannot help but feel the dark goddess’ clutches in every fiber of plant or bloom of flower. Though, she couldn’t even escape this deathly sensation halfway across the galaxy on Sakaar: A place where Hela never once inhabited.
She scooped more drink into her tarnished goblet, aiming to wash down the lump forming in her throat. Until she heard muffled conversation from behind the door to the kitchens, in the kind of tone people use when they wish not to be heard.
“Are you sure the man you saw was… him?” The nervous voice of one of the maid’s became more clear as Brunnhilde arose and pressed her ear to the weathered wood.
“I could not mistake Hela’s executioner for any other, he wore a hood- but his face was the same ma’am I swear!”
While Hela floats pointlessly in the vacuum of space where she may never enact true revenge, her henchman will do.
Thor/Bruce, Loki/Mobius, Gen for any TVA or Rangerok characters
I think I’ll post once a week if I can
Synopsis:
Ragnarök was avoided and Asgard liberated from Hella's oppressive grasp, Thor finally takes the gilded throne. As a child he used to rejoice at the stories of battle that claimed the Nine Realms. Now however, he understands the weight of the blood his kingdom was forged in and all the dark corners of Asgard's halls reveals themselves. Besides, he wishes more than anything to reunite with The Avengers on Midgard. To soothe this ache he has for Earth, he attempts to keep Bruce on Asgard for as long as the scientist would allow but the Bifrost is nearly rebuilt and Banner is anxious to return to his home realm.
Loki is still grappling with living in Asgard as himself. All the lying and destruction left him hungry for something more.. profound. In the name of becoming "good" he attempts to aid Brunnhilde in her sobriety in the only way he knows how: Lies and Enchantments. That is until he becomes far more occupied when some 4th dimensional assholes who insist Asgard needs a Time Permit to keep existing.
Brunnhilde wishes to wallow for the rest of her days, searching for meaning at the bottom of the bottle. Until she catches a lead on leftovers from the prior regime.
Neither enemies to lovers nor slow burn but a secret third thing called Schrödinger's intimacy. We are in love and we are not in love do NOT open that lid I swear to God.
Controversially Young Girlfriend | A Thunderbolts Drabble
M.list
Val is trying to improve the reputation of the Thunderbolts. So she hires a social media manager for the New Avengers.
A/n: me and my boo think this is funny. I might do more. I wanted this to be longer but I’ll just post this and see if everyone gets the vision.
Warnings/content: thirsty tweet, John gets bullied,
———
“Well, your resume is impressive. I suppose.”
You’ve realized Valentina is sort of… what’s the word- uh,
A bitch.
She’s a bitch.
And you don’t call a woman a bitch lightly.
This is the second most passive aggressive interview you’ve ever sat through. You did marketing for a startup that completely consisted of college dropout, drop shipping, dudebros, once.
Never again.
“Now of course you’ll be working with some sensitive information. So I’ve got everything you’ve ever posted publicly, on my computer here. I’d like to review a few things with you.” She looks so casual about that too, an intimidation tactic no doubt.
You’re a professional. You’ve been very careful to private any less than ideal posts, don’t post any stories of you getting hammered, etc.
“Of course.” Not your first rodeo.
“In 2017, you posted to an account titled “fussysoupfivesixty5” in response to an article on James Barnes presidential pardon.”
Oh shit.
She meant everything.
Which honestly also isn’t that bad. But there’s no connection with your name to that stupid burner account. Damn CIA.
“Oh right.” You felt your neck warm with discomfort. Honestly you have no idea what you said, so this could either be very normal or actually insane.
“I’ll quote it,” she glanced over and cleared her throat. Her look didn’t give anything away. Despite maybe a small amount of amusement. “‘Does anyone know if he’s looking for a controversially young girlfriend’”
And she took a pause to look you in the eye, hands together on the table. Official after literally quoting your own brainrot thirst tweet.
“Any comments on that?” She asked.
“I wrote that…? That’s soo crazy.” You of course avert your gaze and clear your throat.
It was very funny at the time. I recall it now. I wrote that then finished some essay I was writing for English class. Definitely controversially young. Is this actually gonna get me in trouble?
“Other than a few other spirited tweets about public figures, not much else of interest. Minimal digital footprint, not suspiciously so.” She trailed on in a casual manner, looking over the file again as if she doesn’t have it memorized.
Why did she even need to mention that, I mean of course she saw it in the background check, though it’s clear it wasn’t important, she didn’t care.
This must be that psychological warfare they’re talking about.
“Yeah, I figured employers could be.. thorough.”
There was more remarks, and very veiled threats.. you think? Until she shook your hand and announced the interview was over.
You were glad to be out of there. You figured it wasn’t too much of a loss if she doesn’t get back to you cause honestly, that woman freaks you out. Until you got the call from her assistant, you’d been given the job.
The next day.
She knew she wanted to hire you… she just waited. Kept you on your toes. More manipulation.
Of course you said yes, how often does one find a job with dental? Besides, you’ve done similar things before. The New Avengers’ reputations are tarnished, yes. But you’re on salary, so what’s the worst that could happen?
“No, Walker I did not take your shield. You can’t even use it anymore, it’s been origami’ed.”
Ava took it and hid it behind a wall. Cause he said he didn’t care about it and never even thought about how few things there are strong enough to bend it back into shape. You saw it with your own eyes, she stepped through your office with it.
“It’s not about that, Ghost. That’s solid vibranium. Frankly, it’s a security risk.”
They argue as you walk through the main part of the tower to the kitchen to get more coffee.
You’ve been working for nearly a month now, turns out the commute was a while from you ur apartment, Val wanted you to be able to be at the tower at a moments notice. So you’ve taken to the couch in your office (that still doesn’t have legs on it)
You didn’t expect them to be like this. So… comfortable. They’d address you when you walk into rooms with nods, not just when it pertains to work, they’d say hi and chat.
Or, unfortunately bring you into their squabbling.
“I mean you’re the manager, doesn’t tracking it down seem like the responsible thing?” Walker asks you as you walk.
You stop and look like your thinking, to humor him for a moment before doing what you’ve learned would be best, never agree with Walker. It’s a bit everyone’s in on.
“No I think it’ll be fine, probably just shoved it in a closet.”
“No, it was definitely in my room.” He seems genuinely stumped. Ava’s poker face is phenomenal.
Yelena walked by giving you a smile, before making a judging expression at John. “You keep that metal taco in your room? But it’s so ugly.”
“I don’t know how you lost it, Walker, honestly the thing is an eyesore.” Ava crossed her arms and played nonchalantly.
“This isn’t about it being ugly.”
You won’t incriminate yourself further. Snitches get stitches.
prguitarman
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