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@blueejulius
wow…. hi, I’m in love. the 25th is mine and my boyfriend’s 6 month anniversary. I’ve never been with anyone this long because I somehow push everyone away or am too fucked up to love. I’ve always found reasons as to why it’s my fault, but the truth is it’s not. it never was. it was their fault. I never even thought about someone staying with me because they love me even when there’s so much to un-love me for. my bf has loved me past so many things. he’s loved me past me pushing him away because I have never known how to let other people help me get through my depression. he’s loved me past me crying every month because I miss my brother that passed away. he’s loved me past this horrid election. he’s loved me past my loads of anxiety attacks. he’s loved me past my hatred but rlly just heartbreak for my parents. he’s loved past me not having a home to go back to. more than anything, I love that he’s given me a home. he is my home. I love how safe I feel. I love how tender his love is. I love to love him. I love him so much. and it’d be hard to ever picture a life of me not loving him.
New Order // Bizarre Love Triangle
RAQUEL SALAZAR
remember you’re worth it
“I felt like sometimes she didn’t want me born. I was like Cinderella—even though I was a dude. She blamed me for everything. Maybe it’s because I was ugly, I guess. Girls were all running from me. My brothers were better looking. When I grew older, it was all about money. Mom and I never discussed anything personal. It seemed like she always wanted something from me. One time I called her crying, because I was trying to quit marijuana, and I felt really depressed. She just told me: ‘You’re wasting all that money on weed. You could be giving it to me instead.” She used to cash my student loan checks. One time she even used my social security number to get a credit card, and I didn’t even know until I got the bill. So I detached myself from her. I stopped answering the phone. Then two years ago she called to tell me she had cancer, and she needed an operation, but I didn’t even answer the phone. I thought she was tricking me again. She left a message, it said: ‘Michael, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. I love you. And I know you love me.’ And I just ignored it. And she died. And I’m haunted by that. I’ve been trying to write about my life lately, but I can’t get past my mother. I wish I could just start my story with that phone call. With her saying that she loved me. The only other time I ever felt love from her was when I tried crack cocaine. I was a teenager, and I had been using for a couple weeks, and I went in her room to ask for baking soda. She started crying, and she looked scared, and she said: ‘Michael, why do you need baking soda?’ And I felt love at that moment. And it was so strong that I quit doing crack right then. I never used again. I didn’t go to a program or anything. That’s how strong that feeling was.”
Damn…..
here r the full images +1 💘
ig : gayponyboy
DEW Magazine #20 Future Issue Spring 2016
today has been one of the shittiest birthday's.... I just want to never think about it again:/
I love when I have a breakdown bc I always cut my hair and it's so damn relieving