[ruin]

Decay has a nasty bite, dark and deep, a heavy weight to carry. But there is a beauty in it, that return to something simple. var sc_project=12089095; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="631075a8"; var sc_https=1; var sc_remove_link=1;

[blueeyed-blight]

ofshiftings‌:

There was a pull there that had reached far beyond the hands of magic, that had more force than the bond that had once held them together. It was magnetic in a different way, explosive in the sense that it made it hard to not allow yourself to be entirely consumed. In that kiss, was the secret, the reason why some people walked so willingly into flames, knowing they were going to burn. If death was promised to feel like this, if anything after was promised to feel like this, it would have been worth it. The intensity of his emotions rarely faltered, it was rarely tested, but every time he touched Jasper a new passion was born.

It didn’t matter the kind of touch, either. It could have been something simple, a finger tracing the line of his lips so that he knew exactly what his smile felt like, or it could be dangerous; deviant. It could be what touch would make those same lips part, forcing the witch to find his voice in the most beautifully seductive chorus of moans, or even what it was like to hold him right at the edge and make him beg to be pushed off. Whatever it was, it would never matter. They were all his favorite flavor, Jasper was a sort of flawed perfection that could, should, and would be worshiped in the most wicked of ways.

Even the way he stopped, took just a moment to allow that smile to take hold, it spoke volumes. It screamed all the things that neither of them knew how to say yet, perhaps foreign languages that would finally tell all their secrets. It served to endear him to the moment, the tiniest slip in the sensation to appreciate how truly, absolutely beautiful he was. It was a shame, a true crime - all the people, all the things that had ever made him feel so ugly. Maybe that was why Aidan was so entirely steadfast in giving whatever he could of that, back to him.

Before he could allow lips to be claimed again, head dipped so that they could instead be pressed close to the shell of his ear. A moment, a breath taken, single heart beat appreciated in relative silence before speaking. “I have seen thousands of years of beautiful things, of things that are still talked about for the sheer power in that appeal, and not a single fucking one of them compares to that smile.”

Maybe he was being faux poetic, because this was hardly his norm. He’d never spoken quite such a soft affection into existence, never cared enough to devote his energy to words that were as awe inspiring as his artwork. He painted, he used the canvas to speak for him when words just wouldn’t really suffice but now, with him, they were found so easily. He huffs a brief laugh, before they are cutting each other off with another kiss.

He makes certain that Jasper cannot argue, can’t protest, can’t even agree with the way that lips make such a demand. Smaller frame is easily manipulated, allowing his larger one to rest carefully under him, to make sure he feels the weight but doesn’t suffer from it.

He had grown used to the intensity of Aidan's presence, anyone who spent time around him could not mistake how sharp the edges were and how unfaltering. It had been more baffling than intimidating even from the start, which said volumes given how easy it was for Jasper to feel overwhelmed around other people. All of that felt normal though, anymore, and he spent his time searching for the subtle nods to other emotions, things not said, communication lay in more than a single layer when it came to Aidan. It kept him busy, kept him watching and curious, but mostly it kept Jasper enthralled. 

Maybe it was just Aidan, faults and flaws, choices and the bizarre things that fell to chance. If it was chance alone that had brought him to the right spot and the right moment to step back into the life of someone he'd had little idea had always shared his own in that distant way Jasper would have far more willingly allowed himself to believe that there was a balance in the world that brought not just hardship but also the best things with it. It was difficult to argue just how good those things could be when the most unexpected of them was quite literally sharing the lack of space between them, staring him in the eyes and making his knees feel embarrassingly weak. 

The words were not fair though, perhaps also not fully believed in spite of wanting to, but something not only to them but the tone of Aidan's voice when he spoke curled electricity along Jasper's nerves like tiny pins and needles. He wouldn't have known what to say in reply so he was grateful not to have to, with how perceptive the other man was in reading him and knowing where he fell short he knew it wasn't by chance. Again the dim lights did a fair enough job of hiding the hints of blush to his skin, at that point he felt that if not for that it would have been painfully obvious. As though it weren't anyway with the way his fingers flexed and gripped at what had almost instantly become one of his favorite spots at the back of Aidan's neck and flush to heated skin. Favorite so far at least, likely he would find plenty of others along the way. 

He had to blink away some of the thoughts, not surprised but not expecting Aidan to stir his emotions with only a few words. He'd never heard encouragement from him that wasn't to the point and more unwavering, as much as he's come to awkwardly appreciate that effort it can't compare to the softer tones and the feeling of being wanted that comes with it. Desire already had him casting an expectant gaze that lingered, he might have faltered in finding whatever stumbled words he can't reach but his expression was open and unguarded, a breathless sort of eagerness hinted there.  

He lost some sense of balance amid it all but it doesn't matter, there's a distinct pleasure to that weight and Jasper forgets how to think again, so very aware of how easy it is to surrender to even that nudge of direction. He doesn’t debate it, something just clicks together naturally in that subtle surrender of control. Partly reflex and half intention, his hands abandon safer places and a shift of motion still has him wanting to be closer, he's happy to let Aidan keep his lips with that kiss but that's clearly only a tame echo of what he wants and somehow his fingers instinctively find the place where he knows a very certain scars marks him. Some deeply buried urge needs to feel it, compared to every other thing he's only increasingly more and more desperate to feel in that moment that becomes the most demanding and indulgent.

[blueeyed-blight]

Doing a starter call/plotting call/whatever. Applies to all of mine, as I have fallen slightly behind in actually doing things with a couple of them. So drop me a note, a DM here or Discord if you want to plot, tell me who you want, don’t and let me flounder around about it...really I’m flexible about these things.  Just to run down the list that would be; Jasper, Jaxon, Alder, May and Vince.  Pretty wide range of weird and/or socially dysfunctional. 

[blueeyed-blight]

ofshiftings‌:

Aidan hadn’t ever done much to warrant sympathy. He never earned it. There might have been a few waning moments that could be misconstrued to somehow fit the notion of salvation, even of a little redeemable honor - but the rest far outweighed the good. The parts where he’d taken lives, so many of them, without really blinking an eye. The way they had burned what remained, it was all a testament to how truly fucked he was. The fact that Jasper would still want to be in the same room as him after they exchanged those memories, that would be the real surprise.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t had rescues before. This wasn’t his first rodeo by far, but it wasn’t the same. He had never given them the option to poke around in his brain, never allowed them to see more than the bits and pieces. It wasn’t exactly something he was used to, sharing. Perhaps it was the demands of the bond, the way they were so singular, or maybe it was just who he was as a person. Really, it didn’t matter. Instead, here they were. For once, he was going to be open, vulnerable to what would surely be a fault, but again - if that was what Jasper wanted. It was better to know now, better to lay all the cards out on the table for judgement.

All of that could, and would wait though. Instead, he wanted to forget all the death rattling around in his head, and this was a more than welcomed distraction. His mouth continued to explore the skin that was willingly surrendered to him - certain that he was blushing, and knowing damned well he was being robbed by the lighting if he couldn’t see it. Regardless, there would be more time for that, plenty of things happened to work out the way he found himself wanting them to.

Words certainly did no justice to the kiss they shared, each one sparked with that same electricity between them. It was undeniable, there was something there that went way outside of just the bond, maybe of just magic itself. It was a consuming feeling, but one that brought him a strange kind of comfort. For as much as he seemed to ease Jasper’s mind, it was a mutual feeling. This was the reward of his favored distraction, adjusting the poorly placed angle in favor of deepening said embrace. His hands were hardly modest as they moved, as if Fingers intended to touch every part of him until he’d memorized them properly.

Magic was the furthest thing from Jasper's thoughts, nightmares and all the other burdens that each of them carried, so much of it fell to the wayside with that kiss. He wouldn't have compared it to magic, not when that felt so normal to him that it was entirely bland in comparison to that kiss. He might have been able to claim a few over the course of his life but the difference was still something that caught him off guard, the dizziness of it that settled right in the pit of his stomach and stole his focus. Overwhelming, yes, but in some strangely perfect way that he chased rather than shied away from, at least after the initial stumble that somehow managed to mark most things Jasper did, boldness never came easy for him. But it did come with warmth, with want, and there was little to argue right then that both weren't humming along his nerves. 

The instant of shifting, motion, Jasper lost contact briefly and it offered just enough time to catch breath he hadn't realized had froze in his throat before the space was gone. He nearly protested, the sound was waiting at the edge of his lips before Aidan silenced it, almost, with his own once more. Some hint of that sound was trapped between them, transformed from frustration to a pleased, wordless murmur. He only caught a sliver of glance with the kiss, the flicker of Aidan's eyes in the faded light and the faintest shiver crept up Jasper's spine, every notch and bend to it lit up with something he fell drastically short of voicing. 

Some spots were more sensitive than others, the occasional twinge and twitch made it too obvious, marking places where fingertips brushed just right and those were impossible not to jolt forward into the contact with a needful want of it. He wanted to be more subtle than he managed to but everything felt vastly out of sorts with Aidan, had since the moment he'd met him and found himself drawn to him. It wasn't just a matter of comfort, even as inviting as that too was, it was Aidan himself with all those certainties and steady intensity that pulled apart Jasper's senses. 

Right that moment whatever had unraveled felt wound far too tightly and his eyes were hazy, dark at the edges, that kiss interrupted with the faintest smile that snatched hold of him in spite of the spike of desire. It only lasted a moment, the pause, the sluggish blink that allowed him to find himself amid the rush. The dim light shown him what he already knew, the sharp line of Aidan's jaw, the furrow of his brow and how very little soft-edged there was to him; it was absolutely alluring and he felt an echo of ache somewhere under his skin, buried deep in his chest, caught off guard by the emotion that was still a struggle at times. In spite of only a handful of weeks between them it felt like longer, maybe that was what Aidan had felt through that bond, maybe not, but the draw of it was just as intoxicating as the burn of any alcohol and better than it with the energy that coiled in his nerves. Intoxication was too simple, perhaps, a word for it. 

He shifted of his own accord,easily willing to be led but not as willing to stop, as he surrendered back to that kiss his own fingers traced a path that began at the other's shoulders and curled over them, up and higher along the back of Aidan's neck to steeple there. A far better grip, light as it was, to pull him in closer, kiss broken long enough for his forehead to drop against Aidan's shoulder. A shaky smile again before he tipped his head back to find his lips once more as he drew back, tugging him with him, down, tangled rearranging and spur of the moment motion but he certainly wasn't overthinking, not that moment.

[blueeyed-blight]

ofshiftings‌:

He had to take a moment to stop and appreciate how long they had been apart. Usually, he would have loathed it, but perhaps someone was right when they had said that absence made the heart grow fonder. Whatever it was, he was enamored by two things; complete opposites, as a matter of fact. The first was how much he had changed in that time, the little things that experience had given him. It didn’t matter if it was a quirk, or just a certain figure of speech. The second was what hadn’t changed, what hadn’t been taken from him by trauma and tragedy.

There was a lot to unfold, unravel, mysteries that had been created since the bond had been severed. Whatever they were, they wouldn’t last much longer - not when the two of them shared memories, it seemed. He was trying his best to warn Jasper just how damaging his could be, just how bad that it could get. It wasn’t as if he was lying, after all. Any day of the week, Aidan would have elected to keep the brunt of it weighing on his own shoulders. Jasper however, seemed intent on sharing it. All he could do now was hope the rescue didn’t collapse under it.

A moment was taken to let lips find a grin when he suggested not thinking. It was probably far more accurate, because Aidan had every intention of making that happen. They both needed the escape, but he needed to be sure this wasn’t just something that was given to him like a sympathy prize. Once Jasper was closer, arm moved around to adjust their position, so that he was almost pressing chest to the witches back. Lips finding the crook of his neck, a suggestive brush there before he was speaking against skin.

“What do you want?” It was an open ended question, a million answers available and yet, that was the one he’d picked to ask. Genuinely, he wanted to hear the answer.

It weighed on Jasper, more than he would speak out loud, the feeling instilled from nearly the start of his life when it came to the worth in things. His own had fallen vastly short of what his father demanded so often he had lost count, that wasn't something that let go of a person easily. Time changed everyone, for better or for worse but often both, but it did not always have the power to remove the lessons learned early and learned roughly. The judgement might have been removed from his life once he had left home but Jasper weighed his own faults heavily enough still, he was not going to fall short in something as important as finding equal ground between himself and Aidan. If nightmares were what it took in return for everything he found in Aidan then he would learn to live with a few more creeping around inside his skull. 

There was always sympathy, regardless of if Aidan wanted it or not, but that moment was nothing offered out of anything but the jumble of want that was not always easy to navigate, not for Jasper. He stumbled at it often, knew that much himself, but rarely could he remember anything quite so worth stumbling over. 

Something in it, so simple that he could find no way to think too much over it, the way he instantly warmed to the contact. Such an uncomplicated notion should not have left him grateful for the dim lights and how they hid the hintn of heat across his face at the question when it wasn't even that suggestive of one. Maybe it was more the contact, that pinpoint spot that stalled his pulse for an instant in spite of knowing how foolish the reaction was. Want was an odd concept, he wanted many things, some he certainly could not find any way to voice yet and others felt too simple. He could have carried on a conversation over all the things he wanted from Aidan for hours, until words had failed him and his chest was aching not from that nearly so much as truth he was learning in measured steps. 

He didn't though, thankfully he had enough sense not to even consider a conversation, or really even an answer he could voice. The corner of his eye followed him, there was a moment he couldn't catch himself before the tip of his head was just too easy, want sometimes came in simple terms and the brush of lips was indulgent and he nearly stayed there and let it steal his senses. But he had an answer, yes, with the roll of one shoulder out of the way to give room, bold enough for an instant to turn to close that gap between them when he found the edge of Aidan's lips with his own in a kiss just slightly badly angled but no less determined and eager even with that tiny flaw. It was only fair, he had lost his senses the first time when Aidan had kissed him and even that felt like a hundred years ago in the span of short time, Jasper reclaimed them in the subtle taste of alcohol glossing over what was more just Aidan. Which, actually, was exactly what he wanted, and words weren't going to express that nearly as well.  

[headcanon-time]

Happiness Headcanons

1. Name three things that make your muse happy.

2. What is the last thing your muse smiled about?

3. Are there any scents that tie to a specific happy memory for them?

4. How do they show their happiness?

5. Write a drabble of one of their happiest memories.

6. How often are they happy?

7. What will usually put them in a good mood?

8. What would make them happier? Winning a ton of money or meeting their potential soul mate?

9. Are they effected by other peoples good moods?

10. Describe something they have done for someone else that made them happy?

11. How optimistic is your muse?

12. Is there anything that can instantly break their good mood?

13. How does your muse smile when they are happy?

14. Describe your muses laugh.

15. Your muse just got good news! How do they celebrate?

16. Does your muse have smile lines?

17. Are there any seasonal things that your muse is always happy to see?

18. Did they have a happy childhood?

[blueeyed-blight]

ofshiftings‌:

Even if Jasper had meant it exactly how he’d said it, Aidan was hardly one to take offense to the idea that his personality matched the threat of his presence. He wasn’t inviting and never really had been, not for most people at least. By now, it was clear why Jasper had become the exception to that particular rule. The bond had started it, but it wasn’t the definition of what held them together. Instead, it was something else entirely, something that seemed to be hiding in plain sight, right at the tip of tongues but remaining unsaid.

“Everyone is afraid of that.” He spoke with the same easy conviction, not meaning to call Jasper out entirely - but needing to make it clear. Fear was natural for most species, and sometimes it’s what kept them alive to begin with, it was an all too common misconception that it had become something to be ashamed of. Aidan’s past was no better, it was dark and full of untold horrors. They were horrors that very well could break down everything they had been building, and ruin that effortless comfort.

“There are a lot of things I’m not quite sure you can handle, and not because I think you’re too delicate for them, but because they are nasty. They have teeth, and they would love nothing more to find something, or someone new to gnaw on. I don’t want you to carry the weight of my nightmares, especially when they are self imposed.” To date, it was probably the most he’d ever said the the witch in a single statement, but he meant it. Concern was easier to see in the low light, reaching for the bottle to bring it to lips. The burn seemed to ground him once again, eyeing the other for reaction before they moved on.

“You do overthink things.” He wasn’t going to give him a break, but there was a trail of laughter talking behind the statement. The mere idea that Jasper hadn’t lived most of this life obsessing over the details was hilarious, after all. It was how he processed things, sure, and Aidan would never honestly shame him for it - but that made it no less amusing.

“Come here, let me give you something better to think about.”

"You think I should be afraid of it, that doesn't mean I am." Countering that point wasn't Jasper did out of determination, nor was it just for the sake of argument because he did not, on a very basic level, like to argue. In fact there were few things he avoided nearly so much as confrontations because it was reflexively deeply uncomfortable, but there was subtleties getting lost in the back and forth that he felt were important. "I'm no good with fear, I can't process it, I shut down. I probably won't know what to do with that, yeah, I know I won't know what to do with someone else's life in my head like that, but I'm not going to let myself shut down." It felt like a battle in itself, scrubbing blood off the past and trying to find something under the carnage. "I don't want those things, but I'm here." 

"You said it was my choice." A reminder, AIdan could not have been more direct in his protest of the idea and he likely was right in it, but Jasper had his reasons. "I decided not to let you do all of this alone anymore. If they have that much bite a few more scars aren't going to kill me but you have enough already."  He was tired of solitude, maybe that meant more to him than the other man or maybe not, but it wasn't something that existed only from one side. Proof enough for him was that moment, the uneasiness of the conversation made the empty glass in his hand heavy but his usual habit of drowning discomfort in alcohol felt far away because it would have made the moment fuzzy. Jasper wanted the clarity, monsters were easier to face in a daze but he didn't want it. The ones that evening were not even his own, Aidan didn't need him there for that but he wanted to be. More than just then though, Jasper had felt the pattern click into place not too long past, his feelings all tangled but the dizziness felt good. Barely understanding Aidan and yet nobody else was half as important. Words did him no good when it came to that evasive little sensation, he wasn't sure how to even find them yet. 

"Delicate." Jasper found the word humorous though, shoulders rolled in silent amusement over it as he fished it out of the conversation. Damaged, more likely, or flat out destroyed in some ways, and he knew that truth but it was all the more reason to meet Aidan's personal horrors. Even if he couldn't face them with anything near to strength it was just another scratch, another crack in an already splintered surface; the other man knew he was never going to be mentally sound by most standards and didn't misery love company? Or at least a counterpart. Jasper saw that in Aidan, more and more each day. 

"Or not think." The edged humor was something that was slow in showing but with comfort came nuances, bits of self that were often buried. Even with the words his eyes were cast towards Aidan, leaving the monsters to fight among themselves for a moment while. Even that old lifeline, glass empty and nearly forgotten, was set aside out of the way in favor of the words and the dim light's reflection over the other man's features. The gap between them closed and a spot Jasper was beginning to think more and more of as his, was found that much closer to Aidan. He barely needed to voice the words to have his attention, that came without the need to overthink at all.

[blueeyed-blight]

ofshiftings‌:

“It was blood, a lot of blood.” He’s used to dealing with these types of things to admitting it isn’t quite as troublesome as it maybe should have been. Most people would have suffered, woke up screaming with the way that crimson painted the scene. They would have let the dream linger, and build a home in them, a home that would keep the trauma safe and warm - and entirely too real. He knew he needed to let it go, this was not something he could carry with him. He wouldn’t be giving it to Jasper though, either.

“Which is not entirely uncommon, all things considered.” He stopped, leaning back over to the nightstand so that cigarette could be stamped out in the elaborate glass ashtray that sat there. There were few things in this home, or any of them, that were sentimental, but that was one of them. He didn’t even think of why when he turned back to the witch in his bed.

“My past has seen a lot of it, so have my hands.” He admits this freely, and not because he wants some kind of sympathy from the other. It’s simply the truth, the fact of the matter. The point in saying it is revealed shortly after the reminder about the sponsorship. At this point, they were running out of days and Aidan had already prepared the paperwork. It was only Jasper’s yes that he needed before he would file it.

“Which, Speaking of those memories, I need you to think long and hard, which I’ve learned is very often your specialty, about whether or not you want mine in return. I will give them to you, but there are things there that will probably create fresh nightmares for you, and you don’t need to wear my pain as well.” It’s the best warning he can give even though he knows the answer already.

He can’t blame Jasper for wanting to know him, wanting to know all the things he hasn’t said, all the things he won’t say. There have to be hints, reasons why, in those memories. This is not the best way to uncover them, as far as Aidan is concerned. He knows how much they could hurt, how they can turn to weapons when used just right, but he won’t deny the man of what he very selfishly intends to take from him as well.

The words came as no surprise, even if he didn't say so out loud Jasper had never allowed himself false pretenses in some thing and the idea that Aidan had probably done things that ran the range of bloody and terrible was one he preferred not to think about too much but also couldn't deny fully. It was there in some subtle way in the very presence of the other man, some underlying raw truth to him that almost jokingly could be shrugged off as just that he practically looked the part of murderer with his intense eyes and looming tense silence until moments when it didn't feel like anything humorous anymore and bordered unnerving. Sometimes the only glimpse of that Jasper caught were tiny ones, shifts of tone or expression that passed swiftly, the way Aidan spoke of things in such a distant manner was both obscuring them and confirming just how bloody his hands likely were. 

"That's not shocking." He wasn’t sure if it's agreement, finally, over the words or just need to say something that stirs them up and the brief pause that followed. "Which wasn't exactly how I meant to say that." No, because he realized how it sounded like he practically expected Aidan to have done terrible things. If he could guess at how well, or how badly, he might take the full truth it would have been easier but he didn't know because so many of his experiences and the ugliness in his own past felt dim and numb over time. Small favors, that, but how much of it had ruined his concept of right and wrong in things even Jasper can't guess. 

"I'm not afraid of that." Saying it is easier than expected and Jasper drew a slow breath, shoulders finding the headboard of the bed and leaning there with his eyes tipped towards the ceiling. "I probably won't take parts of it well but it doesn't mean I don't want to know. It’s not just knowing, seeing the memories isn’t going to tell me why, you’re going to have to do that. I want to understand you, good and bad both." It was even ground but was he actually ready for it? That was debatable, which Jasper knew would be  a circular thought no matter what he decided. "I never did that with Hal, which was probably better, I was already half out of my mind by the time I got here." 

If it was a difficult choice for Aidan he wouldn't have agreed, leaving him to feel like the one weighing it too much. "How much more traumatized could I get anyway, my tolerance is already high." The humor felt like a reach but the attempt was there, the heaviness of the conversation had erased all want for sleep and left him vaguely disconnected. 

"I am very offended by the implication that I overthink things." He pointed out, the humor in that far easier, he even managed a smile that was only slightly tired at the edges. "If I didn't overthink you would be terrifying, and you're not, so there's that. Or maybe I don't with you, I don't know, it's confusing." The pause was a pointed one, the subtle smile lingered with the shake of his head and the words. "Now I'm overthinking about thinking." But there was something comfortable about being able to speak without sorting every word, lazy conversations were new and Jasper was warming quickly to the charm of them.

[blueeyed-blight]

[blueeyed-blight]

blueeyed-blight‌:

Jaxon May Alder

Vincent

[blueeyed-blight]

ofshiftings‌:

He grinned at the quite literal skeletons in the closet comment. Aidan had buried plenty of bodies, but never had he been stupid enough or deranged enough for that matter, to keep them in his home. The thought was ridiculous, but then again as were most of his. He’s fairly certain he’d gotten the shaking of hands to subside, but just in case they need to stay busy. One is following the slow rhythm of inhale, exhale with the cigarette. The other fiddles with the bottle he brought it.

Finally, he manages to get it off, and it’s poured into the empty cup that had been conveniently left on his nightstand. It’s offered out to Jasper, more as a courtesy than a suggestion. Assuming he takes it, Aidan takes a pull from the bottle instead. “No skeletons, at least not literally, and I don’t actually need the sleep, so, no throwing things either.” There is a bemused touch of humor in his words, laughing a little bit at the whole thing for a moment before shaking his head.

“Sometimes their dreams, sometimes their premonitions, but they feel different.” Most of the time they did, or they had. That was before the darkness started to settle in, and jumble all his thoughts. He wasn’t going to specify that now though, that secret would be kept, little white lie told on his end, but he saw nothing wrong with it. It wasn’t like the rescue needed to know.

“What do you dream about?” He asks it like it’s a casual conversation starter, and it doesn’t hold was much weight. In reality, it’s quite the insightful inquiry, and he knows it.

Very purposely he avoids any mention of how there is something slightly off with the other man, not as stark as moments before but it is still there in the unsteadiness with that bottle lid, the unfocused grip of his fingers and Jasper isn't certain if he notices it because he's taken to studying Aidan so closely anymore or if he feels it in a sense of awareness that he's only beginning to understand between them. Regardless of how, it feels cruel to point it out or, worse, it carries the risk of making him shut down more and return to silence. In the wake of what must have been vicious dreams Jasper doesn't want that, doesn't want Aidan suffering alone and confined to his own thoughts. 

He'll take that humor easily, if not eagerly, over the strange feeling, humor is far less complicated than the heaviness the conversation could have taken. "Of course you don't have to sleep, it must get exhausting having to deal with the rest of us with our painfully normal needs." Jasper smiled, faint as the expression was, tempted not to take that glass because he knows himself and knows how quickly that sort of distraction takes hold but in the end he did anyway because old vices were strong ones. He only held it for a moment though, the amount of time it took him to shift closer in some attempt to remind Aidan that he was there.  

Only listening at first, because he can't imagine what sort of things lurk in Aidan's mind and the past behind him but so often it is exactly that, places and moments best forgotten, that fuel such torment. To hear the idea of premonitions though wasn't what he expected, for a moment curiosity sparked but he decided to save that for later, only nodding and turning his eyes back to the other man. "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, I don't like to either, and I probably don't know nightmares like you have, but you don't have to leave when it happens." He wasn't as much of a comfort to Aidan and the man was to him, obviously, but he wanted to be. "I'd rather stay up with you." 

The question causes his eyes to drop to the glass in his hands, darker in the dim lights. "Nothing good. I thought I left home but I brought a lot of it here with me." He lifted it then, the practiced motion of someone far too used to chasing ghosts away with that burn of alcohol shows in the motion and the way he doesn’t flinch. "You'll know soon enough though, right?" Sponsorship carried memories of the years Aidan missed, it would be strange to have nothing left just to himself.

[blueeyed-blight]

ofshiftings‌:

To be fair, the general lack of composure was due mostly in part to the fact that the dream had come as just that - a dream - which meant he was asleep and vulnerable. That same vulnerability was dangerous, and he hated remembering the feeling piece by bitter piece. It reminded him of the island, even before the island, when he had suffered because of it. It was his own fear trying to bring to light his old scars, to whisper doubt where he hadn’t had any.

Regardless of the reason, he was starting to realize that the denial wasn’t exactly going to serve him very well. Since he’d already made it to the door, he stepped out of the bedroom for a moment. It seemed like the second that it was behind him, he inhaled a particularly deep breath, like the room itself had been holding him captive. Will power was also returning, which meant that he’d finally been able to calm himself enough to stop the way hands shook to an almost violent point.

After that momentary pep talk, he stepped into the kitchen to snatch the tiny metal container off the counter, along with its favorite partner in crime - his lighter. The nicotine would pair beautifully with the bottle he then picked up, tucking it under and arm before returning to Jasper. Bottle was deposited on the nightstand, before cigarettes and lighter found a new home on the bed. He, eventually sat down on it as well.

Following the motions, a single sliver of cancer was pulled from the case, and lit. Another deep inhale, and he spoke when he finally exhaled. “A dream.” He’d already decided not to tell Jasper that it very well could have been a premonition, he never did really know the difference. “Probably should have given you the warning on that one, but I was starting to think they’d gotten bored with me.”

The problem came in not knowing what to do, as much as Jasper wanted to help he still hadn't figured out just where the idea of help really was with Aidan. With as guarded as the other man was that was not an easy line to even find, let alone know which side to stay clear of, and Jasper was not comfortable with the idea of pushing too far. It didn't help that Aidan had fled the second he could, a ghost of presence that had faded with a few short steps. Thankfully he didn't need to debate for long enough to come to a conclusion over what to do, hadn't gotten nearly that far when the sound of footsteps marked the otherwise silent return. 

At first Jasper said nothing, waiting for as much of an explanation as he would likely get. It felt different, yes, because for once it wasn't mostly his own confusion that caused Jasper to get hung up on his words nearly as much as his wanting to find the right ones to make that evening easier. He couldn't erase those dreams though, whatever torment the night brought was beyond his control and all that remained to offer was his presence.

"Yeah, I have nights like that too since I left home." His brow furrowed at the thought, not being unfamiliar with dreams that haunted or turned vicious claws on a person, they still crept up occasionally. That common ground was unexpected but it wasn’t the type he would have picked if given the choice because it was a difficult one. If anything he wasn't happy, no, to have seen for himself the nature of those nightmares but just learning they existed meant he knew to be prepared for them.

Attention turned to him, eyes trailing the lazy curl of that smoke outlining sharp features, it was never easy to tell anything might be wrong but he knew that uneasiness lingered, it was hiding in Aidan's gaze and the tense set to his jaw. He could almost feel it himself in some strange, stray way. The air was already laced with the trace scent of that smoke, weaving a thinner, safer haze than the one sleep promised, the want for it dissolving away while he watched Aidan. He sought distraction rather than the topic looming unspoken, maybe fresh from those dark places it was best not to step back into them yet, reaching for a different topic.

"Any other warnings I need? Are you going to throw something at me if I wake you up too early, or do I need to not open closets so I don't find skeletons?" His humor always ran a little morbid, odd habit, but it was an attempt. 

[blueeyed-blight]

Aiden & Hal: 3, 5, 7, 12, 14, 20

(3. spend a week alone with? 5. booty call? 7. get drunk with? 12. drunkenly marry? 14. commit a crime with? 20. have a baby with?)

“I don’t know how much that even applies since I spend so much time alone with Aidan already? A week would just be normal? And that’s…an awkward question, yes, but also Aidan. That’s probably an obvious answer. Drinking though? I drink around most people I know well so it could go either way? I’ve been drunk around Hal before and I’m sure I’ll be drunk around Aidan too at some point.”

“Ha..yeah, the only way I would get married was if I was drunk. The look on Aidan’s face with that hangover would either be hilarious or murderous; either way it would be amusing. Crimes are a split; Hal probably could get us out of too much trouble but Aidan wouldn’t get caught in the first place, so, the latter.” 

“Right, no kids. Not that question, not comfortable with that at all.” 

[blueeyed-blight]

ofshiftings‌:

Aidan had shared a bed once before. He remembered that particular instance because it had been the one thing that had left a scar that would even think about amounting to what the loss of the bond had. That particular scar should have warned him about the dangers of whatever this was, but he still didn’t heed any of the messages. Instead, this was the only thing that he wanted. It was singular, all the emotion rolled into one and given his name.

Despite the comfort that seemed to come only from one another, no matter how branded it might be, he still didn’t want to share this. He didn’t need the witch worried over what could have very well been his mind, seizing the opportunity to play tricks on him. The problem was that he hated how real it always felt, like he would wake up with whatever scene lying right next to him instead of this.

He tried to stifle the still very audible “shit” when the other spoke. Clearly, he needed to brush up on his ability to move without causing such a compelling amount of noise. “Yes.” The answer was a lie, and they both knew it. There was no hiding it, really. Not with the way body hadn’t shaken the tension, and hands hadn’t stopped their own betrayal of the rest of him.

He forced himself to walk across the room, the door opening carefully. “It’s fine, really. Go back to bed.”

It was a very obvious lie, he didn't want to point that out but the truth was in how tense Aidan was even sitting there and something about it felt equal parts unnerving and stirred sympathy. It took Jasper a moment to realize it was unsettling just as much as it was upsetting because he hadn't expected him, of all people, to have some lapse in that ever present composure. But perhaps that had been a mistake, he'd come far too quickly to the conclusion there was something about him that was practically inhuman in how steady and collected he was and in doing that it was too easy to forget that everyone, for the most part, was also very human. 

"It's okay, I'm awake." Or was getting somewhat closer to the idea, more so willing to finish waking up. The dull reverberating ache that always greeted him upon waking was there, reminding him of how unruly that magic was over being repressed so much of the time, but it was also a hollow sensation easily ignored for how much of a constant time had made it. He knew too many nights where sleep was too daunting to face, though he doubted that Aidan's reasons were quite the same as his own. "You don’t have to leave. " 

No, tired or not sleep wasn't bound to happen, it was nothing to do with connections and more concern, which Jasper always had excess of. The idea of leaving bed, warmth and a place he had come to appreciate the appeal of more when it wasn't a solitary spot, wasn't a welcome one but if Aidan was off to wander the house restlessly it was sadly going to have to be abandoned.

[rpmememaker]

Send me two names and a number and I'll tell you which I'd rather:

1. save from a fire? 2. have taking care of me if I was sick? 3. spend a week alone with? 4. sneak into bed with? 5. booty call? 6. cook a romantic dinner for? 7. get drunk with? 8. tell my secrets? 9. go on a roadtrip with? 10. take care of if they were ill? 11. never talk to again? 12. drunkenly marry? 13. propose to? 14. commit a crime with? 15. have as my best friend? 16. have a threesome with? 17. cook for me? 18. serenade? 19. teach me something? 20. have a baby with? 21. never have met?

[theprettylittleblogger]

Make an assumption about me and I'll tell you if it"s true or false

[askboxmemes]

oh why not.

Blab: Three secrets I’m keeping. Mwah: Three people I’d like to kiss. Similar: Three members of the same sex I find attractive. Different: Three members of the opposite sex I find attractive Pastime: Three hobbies I have that I would be embarrassed to know someone discovered. Doing: Three habits that I have. Psst: Three things that I’ve always wanted to tell you. Shh: Three things I wouldn’t want my parents to know Dream: Three wishes I have. Want: Three things I would do to you if we were alone.

[rp-ask-box-memes-blog-blog-blog]

Two truths and a lie.

Ask the mun or the muse three questions. Two will be the truth and one will be a lie.

[darkfaun-blog]

You wanna find out some personal shit?

[rp-meme-storage]

1. Any scars?

2. Self harmed?

3. Crush?

4. Kissed anyone?

5. Coke or Pepsi?

6. Someone you hate?

7. Best Friends?

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?

9. What's your dream job?

10. Ever been in love?

11. Last time you cried?

12. Favorite color?

13. Height?

14. Birthday?

15. Eye color?

16. Hair color?

17. What do you love?

18. Obsession?

19. If you had one wish, what would it be?

20. Do you love someone?

21. Kiss or hug?

22. Nicknames people call you?

23. Favorite song?

24. Favorite band?

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?

27. Something you would change about yourself?

28. Ever dated someone?

29. Worst mistake?

30. Watch the movie or read the book?

31. Ever had a heartbreak?

32. Favorite show?

33. Best day of your life?

34. Any talents?

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

36. Any bad habits?

37. Ever had a near death experience?

38. Someone I can tell anything to?

39. Ever lost a loved one?

40. Do you believe in love?

41. Someone you hate/Dislike?

42. Are you okay?

43. Relationship status?