blue

rest and dream here for a bit

[bluesbonney]

blue 🐚 writer 🐚 24 🐚 she/her 🐚 aesthetic + personal blog: @aegeansblues

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William H. Bonney ⤷ ゛wip list ˎˊ˗

Dulcinea del Tobosco ⤷ ゛coming soon ˎˊ˗

Alex Nilsen ⤷ ゛coming soon ˎˊ˗

Poppy Wright ⤷ ゛coming soon ˎˊ˗

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[milliesfishes]

౨ৎ꣑ৎmasterlist౨ৎ꣑ৎ ~Remembering~ fem reader x billy the kid thank you my sweet @phantomamour for supporting this journey and for being my cowriter!! <3 alternative large text version here!

Kat and Miles decided on a simple ceremony outside. Billy watched them discuss it, a little smile on his face as they bickered over music and the guest list. The worry line between Kat's brows had faded. She was seeing patients now, both human and animal, making her tonics and dispensing them like water on a summer's day. Miles planted her an herb garden behind the barn, which he and Billy had renovated into a space they could all live in. Kat and Charlie settled right in, and it warmed Billy's heart that at least one of his daughters was still on the property.

Annie painted a portrait of everyone together recently, and Billy took to stopping and staring at it every time he passed it. Did he really have so many wrinkles? Was there that much grey seeping into his hair? He knew he was getting old, but it was hard to know this was how his children saw him now.

You blossomed with age, more beautiful now than ever. He took you into town to get a photograph taken of the two of you and framed it on his bedside. It was wondrous to look into the eyes and see the life you'd built together, to know that he'd loved you for most of his years.

He pretended not to notice that you were moving a little slower, complaining that you couldn't see as well. Sometimes at night, he would rub your legs because your bones ached. You were eternally young to him, but it wasn't reflected in your body.

The morning of the wedding, Billy straightens the collar of his shirt in the mirror while you dress yourself by the bed. He smiles at you in the mirror, abandoning his task to come and kiss you.

"You look handsome," you say, beaming up at him. "Special occasion?"

"Very." He reels you in for a kiss on the head, careful not to muss your hair. "You're beautiful, darlin'. Always are."

"Billy," you laugh, and he's transported back in time and you are both in your twenties with your whole lives ahead of you.

"Can't a man appreciate his wife?" He swings you back and forth gently. "Y'know days like these always make me think about when we got married?"

You blink, still smiling. "Days like these?"

"Our little girl's gettin' married." Billy brushes your cheek with his thumb.

A beat of quiet. You tilt your head a little, looking into his eyes. "Who's getting married?"

He freezes, smile dropping. "Kat 'n Miles. We helped 'em set up yesterday, remember?" Of course, he didn't let you do much of the work. He enlisted you with fussing over Kat the way she deserved on her wedding week.

Your eyes are glassy for a moment, and then you perk up. "Oh, yes!" Scoffing to yourself, you pat your forehead. "I'm being silly. This means I have to change dresses." You remove Billy's hands from your waist and kiss the knuckles. "Give me a moment, honey."

Billy is still, eyes fixed on you as you wander to the dresser, selecting a new dress. He's never known you to be forgetful, not for things like this. Sitting on the bed, he watches you rearrange your hair and smooth your skirt over your thighs, laughing at your mistake.

"Baby?" He stops you before you exit the room. "You didn't remember?"

There is a flicker, so quick that if he blinked he could have missed it, but he didn't. Your smile chases it away. "We're getting old, Billy. It's bound to happen every once in a while."

He wants to say something but he doesn't because you slip your hand into the crook of his arm and he sees your younger self shining through again. You're forever young. He's melty with the sensation of a love aged as he guides you outside, helps you down the steps. Annie is upstairs helping Kat get ready. You asked yesterday if they would need any help, but Kat told Billy in confidence that she wanted you to sit back and enjoy the day. Maybe she could see the wear on your memory too. He'd have to ask her later.

Kat floats down the aisle in her dress, glowing like the light she is. Miles looks happier than Billy's ever seen him, holding little Charlie's hand at the front. You rest your head on Billy's shoulder, whispering about how beautiful they are. Everything suddenly feels too fleeting to him and he chokes back a tear or two.

You're the first to leap to your feet when Kat and Miles are pronounced husband and wife, and Billy remembers your confusion this morning. You were so excited last night; there isn't any way in the world you'd forget. He wraps an arm around your shoulders as if that'll stop what's coming, kissing the top of your head.

"Mama couldn't remember her birthday the other day," Annie says softly, watching you plant flowers with Cherry behind the house. Billy scrubs a hand over his face. He hasn't shaved in a couple of days, too focused on you.

"Whenever I bring it up, she dismisses it, bug." He sees your hands trembling as you deposit daisies into the earth.

Annie meets his eyes. "Daddy, I think she's scared too." She looks at you again. "Mama knows how you feel about death and dying."

Billy sits up straight. "But we could slow it down. If she'll just admit it, we can find a way to stop it. Maybe Kat-"

"Daddy." Annie's hand covers his. "You can't stop death. Even for your sweetheart."

It echoes for the rest of the day. Maybe Billy did think in a way that there was a way to reverse this, to make it alright again. Maybe if he made a wish, he could pick a lazy Sunday afternoon to live in for the rest of time.

He finds you sorting through your nightstand, your treasure chest, that night and it breaks his heart. You hold up a metal figurine, eyebrows scrunched together. "What's this?"

He kneels beside you. "Remember Kat's old boyfriend? The welder?"

"Oh, yes!" You put it carefully back in the drawer.

Billy leans against the bed, watching you sort through your things, mouthing their origin to yourself. He can't let it go on anymore. Taking a breath to prepare himself, he asks, "Are you forgetting, baby?"

You stop, eyes fixed on something in the drawer. He can practically hear you thinking. "Billy…"

He takes your hand, kissing over your ring. "You can say it. It ain't going away."

A tear spills down your cheek. "I'm scared."

He doesn't hesitate, just pulls you up and into him, tangling your limbs together like a love knot. You darken his shirt as you cry, and he rocks you back and forth. "I know. I know."

"I can't forget, Billy," you choke, grasping the collar of his shirt. "Don't let me forget any of it."

He has no words. There's nothing in his life that could have ever prepared him for the possibility of you losing your memory. You cherished it all, he knew.

"There are some things you can't forget," he breathes, holding the back of your head. "You can forget a name but you can't forget love."

You murmur into his chest, "It's too big. Even if I don't know who you are I'll never stop loving you."

He holds you tighter. The house is empty, the evening fire put out. It all still burns in his soul. You need him right now, more than ever. No matter what, he's going to make sure you know you are loved, even if his name slips through the growing cracks in your mind.

[bluesbonney]

millie this chapter hurt me but your writing is so beautiful that it's a nice hurt 💕 i'll never get over how beautiful this story is.

[bluesbonney]

what about all the writing you promised? :/

i'm sorry i didn't get to it anon!! i really need to step back to focus on my real life and goals and mental health. the stories i want to write here might still come around in the future, and i'm sorry if i disappointed anyone by breaking promises i'd made.

[bluesbonney]

thank you all so much for the nice messages on my goodbye post 🫶🏻 my heart feels so warm and I feel very loved! this whole community is so nice! my messages are still open, I just might not respond as often. I may still post some writing here and there but it will be very sporadic. I’m just so grateful that what I have written has found so many of you

[bluesbonney]

announcement 🫶🏻

I’ve loved having this tumblr account but I think it’s time for me to move on. I’m trying to get into a masters program at the moment as well as focusing on my original writing projects. As sad as it makes me to admit, I’ve also lost a lot of my motivation and inspiration to write about billy 💕 I still love him ofc!! I’ve had so much fun with this blog and I’m so grateful that I got to meet all of you. I may come back in the future but for now 👋🏻

[bluesbonney]

Missing him hours

[bluesbonney]

billy calling you “a chroí” which means my heart in Irish

[bluesbonney]

modern billy being the best boyfriend when he comes to family gatherings with you

[bluesbonney]

urgent need for billy and Alex thoughts bc I’m around family rn

[bluesbonney]

random fact about me i am tall

[bluesbonney]

oh! me! i have an idea: going shopping with alex before the two of you go on vacation!!

at first, he'd wonder why you wanted him to go with you because he knows nothing about outfit coordination or how to pick out the right accessories but once he realizes that you're just excited to go on vacation with him and you want him to be involved, he relaxes and has fun :(( he'd love seeing you get excited over a new pair of shoes or finding jewelry to match your outfits

[bluesbonney]

who do you love more and why - Billy or Alex?

oh gosh.... i love them both so much for different reasons :) i love alex because he and i have similar personality traits lol, and i love the quiet comfort he brings me! but billy is truly something different, he means a lot to me and his character like hits all the boxes of someone i love and find compelling

[bluesbonney]

haven't chatted in the askbox in a bit so if anyone wants to talk about anything ....

[fuckyeahtomblyth]

TOM BLYTH as Billy the Kid, S01E03: Antrim

[strandedinscion]

honestly, when is it not on my mind?

[bluesbonney]

gif credit here

having feral thoughts about ******* next to a campfire ,, like it's the first time in awhile you and billy get to actually do it because you haven't had much privacy

[bluesbonney]

*gripping the sink* i thought your twenties were supposed to be fun