[blueshiftbear]

100

You were my journal

Thank you for being a friend

Good bye blueshiftbear

[blueshiftbear]

099

Gender is such a

Performance but I am not

A theater kid

[blueshiftbear]

098

Pillow to my back

It’s not you but it will do

Until you return

[blueshiftbear]

097

Plants grow towards the sun

Humans grow facing their phones

Obvious addicts

[blueshiftbear]

096

The world is spinning

but I’m getting my sea legs

I’ll get used to this

[blueshiftbear]

095

I miss his brown eyes

The way they would watch me and

Widen with surprise

[blueshiftbear]

094

I can still hear him

Telling me to “breathe girl, breathe”

As I gag on snot

[blueshiftbear]

093

Dark purple gravel

rattles the walls of my skull.

Mirrored erosion.

[blueshiftbear]

092

He pulled me closer

And he pet my like a cat

I felt like purring

[blueshiftbear]

Some old hand doodles from an restless night.

[blueshiftbear]

091

Living means waiting

so many moments are spent

waiting for the next

[blueshiftbear]

[blueshiftbear]

Growing Pains, 2020

Guide me away

from this eagerly strange day

with its unusual pain

Too many choices

God, I’m grateful for the voices

but overwhelmed

I want to do best by you,

myself, and best to

my family

Each person holds

their own precious glittering story-gold

that I want to hear

Each person is a path, which

I am afraid to walk

too far down

[blueshiftbear]

090

Your brother doesn’t

answer his phone and you’re now

an old memory

[blueshiftbear]

[blueshiftbear]

089

I just remembered

He only kissed me softly

Did he realize that

[blueshiftbear]

088

I hoped it wasn’t

another heavy Friday

the type that leaves marks