All my explicit fics are labeled with the appropriate ratings and warnings but please don't interact with any of my fics if you aren't 18+.
Warning: I write a lot of female reader insert fanfics, and I usually try to not describe their physical features but sometimes for the sake of the story or due to error there are details. They also fairly commonly have detailed histories for the sake of the storytelling. I write what I want to read.
Do NOT repost my fics! (Reblogs are welcome of course)
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Pedro Pascal Characters
Joel Miller
Colors - Joel Miller x Blind F!Reader
One Night - Joel Miller x F!Reader
The Fallen Warrior Series - Joel Miller x F!Reader; Joel Miller x OFC (ongoing series)
Visitation Rights - Joel Miller x F!Reader
Morning Routine - Joel Miller x F!Reader ("Visitation Rights" Verse)
A Haunting In Jackson - Joel Miller x F!Reader ("Visitation Rights" Verse)
What If? Series - Joel Miller x F!Reader (Choose Your Adventure Style)
A Bad Fall - Joel Miller, Ellie Williams
The Tree - Joel Miller, Ellie Williams
Christmas In Jackson - Joel, Ellie, Tommy, & Maria
Javier Peña
Sweet Summer Series - Javier Peña x F!Reader
New Year's Promise - Javier Peña x F!Reader ("Sweet Summer" Verse)
The Weekend - Javier Peña x F!Reader ("Sweet Summer" Verse)
Frankie Morales
Love Bites - Frankie Morales x F!Reader
Maze Find - Frankie Morales x F!Reader
The Fishing Trip - Frankie Morales x F!Reader
Serenity - Frankie Morales x F!Reader
Snowed In - Frankie Morales x F!Reader
Din Djarin
Nightmare - Din Djarin, Grogu
Weary - Din Djarin x Omera
Dieter Bravo
Boo! - Dieter Bravo x F!Reader
Strip Poker - Dieter Bravo x F!Reader
Unknown Series - Dieter Bravo x OFC (Ongoing Series)
Ezra
Misfits - Ezra x F!Reader
Jack Daniels
The Riding Lesson - Jack Daniels x F!Reader
Javi Gutierrez
Clean - Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader
Outlaws Til Sundown - Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader
The Pool - Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader
The Writing Contest Series - Javi Gutierrez x OFC (Ongoing Series)
Marcus Moreno
Second Chances Series - Marcus Moreno x OFC
Never Forgotten - Marcus Moreno x OFCs ("Second Chances" Verse)
Marcus Pike
A Lifetime Of Flowers - Marcus Pike x F!Reader
Baby Fever Series - Marcus Pike x F!Reader
The Shot Not Taken - Marcus Pike x F!Reader
Pero Tovar
The Journey Series - Pero Tovar x F!Reader
The Outcast Series - Pero Tovar x F!Reader
Tim Rockford
Betrayal - Tim Rockford x F!Reader
The Rockford Files Series - Tim Rockford x F!Reader
Zach Wellison
Finding Eden Series - Zach Wellison x F!Reader
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What If The Series Were Novels? (Canva Book Covers)
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911 Lonestar
Some Good News - Judd x Grace (Pregnancy Announcement AU)
having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (nicknamed Willow)
Other Characters: Ellie Williams, Tommy Miller
Summary: Joel and Tommy teach you and Ellie how to fight; you find out why they became fallen
Rating: 18+ Series
Word Count: 5,000(ish)
Warnings: Fowl language, POV switches, practice fighting, sexual tension, angst, nods to show's plot continues
Author’s Note: After an extremely long pause, we're back! Sorry for the delay to anyone who actually read this before and has somehow found it again.
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Tommy drove for hours, into the next morning. It was a long enough trip for Willow and Ellie to eventually fall asleep, but until they did, they had a lot of questions.
"What the fuck is going on?" Ellie exclaimed as their street disappeared from the rear view. "Is it safe to talk now?"
"Yes," Tommy replied.
"Why are angels after Ellie?" you repeated from minutes before.
"She's a nephal," Joel answered.
"A nephal?" Ellie blinked. "What the...?"
"Ever hear of nephilim?" Joel asked. "Part angel, part human? You're one of them."
"Holy shit!" she gasped. "Does that mean I have wings too?"
"I've never seen one with wings," Joel told her. "Don't know if it's possible. But you do likely have 'powers' of some kind, as humans put it, whether you've discovered them or not. Tend to appear during puberty."
She snorted. "Finally a positive."
"Nephilim of the bible...-" you paused and a worried expression crossed your face. You weren't super religious, but you knew a few things about angel mythology. None good about nephilim.
"Real life nephilim don't have much in common," Tommy promised. "She's powerful; not evil."
You relaxed.
"Of course I'm not!" Ellie huffed. "I would know!"
"Being powerful is enough," Joel stated firmly. "As far as most angels are concerned, you might as well be a demon. Or worse. Lucifer himself. If you've got the right parentage, you could actually be even more powerful than him."
"Lucifer, that's the devil, right?" she questioned.
Joel nodded.
"Shit," you said under your breath. "Are all of Heaven's angels after her then?"
"It's possible," he replied, jaw clenching. "Nephilim are rare, for what should be obvious reasons. Usually we wouldn't have more than a few angels on a mission to cull a single nephal, but they also want to drain Ellie of her blood."
You frowned. "Why?"
"The barrier between Hell and Earth is getting weaker, breaking," Tommy injected. "And apparently the others think her blood, her power, could seal the leak."
"We?" Ellie questioned.
"Angels," Tommy answered. "But yes, that included us. Until we realized we were all wrong."
"What changed your minds?" she prompted.
He glanced at Joel, who kept staring straight ahead, silent.
"It wasn't just one thing," he eventually told her. "Or I should say, one nephil. It took some time, but once the blinders were off we couldn't continue to go along with our orders. And because of it, we were forced to go on the run."
"Just for refusing to see it their way?" you asked.
"Of course," he replied. "We weren't allowed to use free will. It was God's orders; at least that's what we were told. Only Michael had access to our Father for centuries. If he wanted something done, he could tell us it was orders from Him and we wouldn't know any better. So who knows?"
"Wait, Michael, as in the archangel Michael?" Ellie's eyes widened. "The leader of all the angels?"
Tommy noticed her expression in the rear view mirror and chuckled. "The one and only. Though I much prefer the way he's presented in most media than how he actually is."
"So he's a dick," she concluded, sitting back in her seat. "Figures."
"I much preferred Joel's leadership to his," Tommy said.
You and Ellie both shared a look. "Are you saying...?" Ellie inquired, jaw slightly hanging open.
"Yes, Joel's an archangel," Tommy confirmed. "Or was, at least."
Ellie's eyes bulged. "Holy shit."
You glanced at Joel from the left side of the truck. "Have you seen God, then? His face?"
He finally reacted. "What face?"
"There's no words for Father," Tommy told you. "In any language."
"Huh."
"So, what are we going to do with an entire army of angels after us?" Ellie asked.
"Hide," Joel answered simply, reaching into his back pocket for the note Celina had given him and scanning over the words scribbled onto it. "Until December twenty-two."
You arched an eyebrow. "Why December twenty-two?"
"Winter solstice," Tommy explained. "The shortest day and longest night of the year. Humans think Halloween is the time for demons to come out, but it is the winter solstice that brings you the closest to Hell. That's when they're planning to kill her, isn't it, Joel?"
Joel nodded.
You sighed. "Lovely. So we have to hide until then, or maybe forever?"
"We can't hide forever," Joel said, "We'd have to keep running with Ellie around. But even then, eventually, they'd catch up. But we can try something else. We can try to convince enough of them to side with us so that Michael and his loyalists are forced to think twice about killing us."
"And how many angels would that take?" you asked.
His expression turned grim. "Far more than probable."
"More than half?"
He nodded.
"Great," Ellie said, throwing her hands up.
"What would it take to convince them?" you questioned.
"Proof that she's more valuable alive than dead," he stated.
"And how are you going to do that?"
"We'll need to draw blood from her daily," he answered. "Store it away until that night then use it to strengthen the barrier."
"No way!" Ellie exclaimed. "I'm not going to be a human pin cushion."
You pursed your lips. "Would that work?"
"Celina, our sister, seems to think so," Tommy replied.
Joel nodded. "It's our best shot. If there's enough power in her blood, if it works even after being some time away from her body, there's a chance they'll decide to keep her alive in case this happens again."
"But it's not guaranteed," you noted.
He shook his head.
"It's what we got," Tommy said.
Ellie sighed and folded her arms. "Fine, I'll do it. But don't think I won't complain."
Tommy chuckled. "I'd be worried if you didn't."
"Shut up."
x
You woke up from a restless sleep with a kink in your neck as Tommy's truck jerked to a halt.
Rubbing the sore spot, you peered sleepily around. The truck was in the middle of a Walmart parking lot. It appeared to be afternoon.
"Where are we?"
"A Walmart in Phoenix," he replied. "Figured it would be best for you and Ellie to grab anything you need that you didn't pack over here and then we can head for the safe house."
"You have a safe house?" Ellie questioned, rubbing her eyes as she stirred.
You blinked. "You can afford a safe house?"
"Did you forget they're angels?" Ellie huffed. "They can probably snap money into existence or something."
Tommy laughed. "I wish. No, we've just worked long enough we have a good chunk of money saved up. And we've lived long enough to know the right people to set up a safe house under different names."
Ellie slapped her face. "How could I forget you're ancient?"
"Different names," you mused. "What are your real names, anyway?"
"Thomas and Jaoel," Tommy answered.
"Not far off," you pointed out.
"We've changed our names to completely different ones in the past," he told you. "But it stopped mattering after a while."
You wondered what that meant, but didn't press. You'd fallen asleep with a headache, and woken up with one. You had enough information to process as it was.
"You'd better step on it," Joel told you. "Got a half hour. Any longer we risk drawing attention. Since we're fallen we don't have the kind of power we had before for the other angels to sense, but Ellie's enough of a beacon to alert anyone within the city single-handedly."
"Nice," Ellie commented, nodding. "So when do I get to test out these powers?"
"Not now, Ellie," you hushed her as you opened your door. "We gotta go unless you don't want a toothbrush and would like to live off the jerky I saw in their bag for the next few months."
She grumbled but listened and followed you inside. Joel and Tommy weren't far behind.
Tommy separated from you once through the door to go collect more supplies for him and Joel, but Joel stuck close, vigilant about his surroundings the whole time. The way he stared into the distance and honed in on sounds made you wonder how much better an angel's senses were than a human's, fallen or not.
Barely twenty minutes passed before he herded you and Ellie to the self checkout area, helping scan and pack what you'd chosen out.
When you returned to the truck Tommy was waiting in the driver's seat with a few bags sitting on the bench seat between him and Joel.
He drove ten minutes out of Phoenix, into the desert, to park in front of an old metal warehouse that appeared abandoned, the gray paint in the process of peeling off most of its exterior.
"This is what you could afford after centuries?" Ellie grumbled as she hopped out of the truck with her backpack flung over one shoulder.
"It's discreet," Joel explained. "Last thing a safe house needs to do is draw attention."
He and Tommy led you both inside, flicking on the lights by the main door as you passed them to look around.
The warehouse was pretty big. There was a mostly empty first level made with a concrete floor and small windows. The main wall had a garage door attached and there was a couch and a few old chairs against the back wall sat behind an old square dining table.
There was a clanky looking metal stairway that led to the second level, and when you climbed it you discovered a more homely, but still very basic set up. Five rooms covered about half the distance that the first level did. There was a kitchen slash office area with a fridge, microwave, stove, small table, cabinets, and an office desk and chair inside. The second was a bathroom with a small sink, toilet, and shower. Then the last three were bedrooms, with simple twin sized beds covered with gray blankets and sheets, and a chest for clothes in each of them. There were only wall lamps in each room and windows that were identical to the ones downstairs.
It was dark and a little musty, but the dust wasn't too built up. Clearly Joel and Tommy had someone take care of the place occasionally, if they didn't do it themselves.
"Guess we're sharing a room," you told Ellie, who was closely trailing you.
"Last one," Joel ordered from farther behind. "Across from mine."
"Does it even matter?" Ellie questioned. "They all look the same."
"Last room has reinforced walls," Joel informed her. "Extra protection against bullets."
"Angels use guns?" she asked, surprised.
"They do on mortals," he answered. "We're more practiced with blades, but our kind adapt with the times. Angels heal fast from bullet wounds, but humans not so much."
"What about me?"
"Nephilim are more resistant than humans, but less so than angels," Joel said. "Still, you shouldn't die from a few bullets, even if one is to the head. A dozen to the head? Maybe."
"Noted," she muttered.
"Get settled, meet us in the kitchen in five," Joel continued, heading for his room as he spoke.
You and Ellie nodded and slipped into your room, closing the door behind you.
"Am I the only one who feels like someone gave them mushrooms?" Ellie inquired as she flopped down on top of the bed.
"It is crazy," you agreed, taking out some of the items in the bags you were carrying to store them away in the night stand. You placed your purse on top of it after.
"How can you be so calm?" she barked.
You shrugged. "Read too many vampire novels growing up, I guess."
Truth was, your mind was racing. You were worried about too many factors to voice them. Everything from how you were going to pay the bills to keep the government from taking your house while you were gone, to how you were going to defend yourself and Ellie from a bunch of freakin' angels.
Ellie narrowed her eyes at you suspiciously. "You're not calm, are you?"
You shook your head. "Just too much to fully process right now. But I trust Joel and Tommy to get us through this."
"Really? Even after they lied to you?"
"Ellie, they can probably hear."
"I don't care."
"Sometimes adults have to keep secrets from one another," you told her. "If I know anything from reading books, knowledge can be dangerous."
"It can also be dangerous to be ignorant," Ellie pointed out. "How many people die in books because the main character never told them about their enemies and how they may come for them because they know them?"
"In this case, it's my own fault," you informed her. "Joel and Tommy tried to talk me out of taking you in. I couldn't understand why. Now it all makes sense. But I...I don't regret it, Ellie. I know I've only known you a short while, but I care about you."
"You'd be better off if you didn't," she told you with a hint of bitterness.
"Maybe, maybe not," you said. "I may be in hiding, but I haven't lost much in leaving Austin. You, Tommy, Joel...as long as you're around, I can handle whatever comes our way. Having you in my life is meaningful, more than having a house and a steady job."
Ellie snorted. "Now I know you are crazy."
You shrugged again. "Maybe."
She sat up and dropped her backpack to the floor. "Five minutes are up."
You nodded. "Let's go see what they have to say."
x
It turned out the kitchen meeting was not just to talk. Tommy was in the middle of cooking pancakes on the stove when you and Ellie joined Joel at the table and you were thankful. Your stomach had been growling for hours.
"So besides the pancakes, what did you want us in here for?" you asked them as you tore into your first one a few minutes later.
"Joel and I thought it best if you both learn self defense," Tommy replied, dunking his pancake into a small bowl of syrup.
"What would it matter if I did?" you questioned. "Aren't angels way more powerful than humans?"
"We have more brute strength, yes," he confirmed. "But self defense isn't just about strength. It's about knowing your enemies' weak points. It's about knowing how to out maneuver someone bigger and stronger than you. And don't underestimate how much damage you can do with an element of surprise."
"Alright," you paused, "So when do we start?"
"Tonight," Joel answered. "After supper."
"And what til then?"
"Til then, we tell you all about our kind."
x
"Evade," Joel ordered you, taking a carefully calculated swing at your face.
You ducked and he nodded in approval. "Not bad. Need to move faster, and don't let yourself get unbalanced."
"Easier said than done," you muttered as sweat rolled down your forehead. "I have no balance."
"Balance can be taught," Joel informed you. "Try the plank walk later."
You nodded half-heartedly.
You were only a few days into training, but you already felt like you were falling behind. You were doing alright with basic offense while training with Tommy, but your defense, which Joel was teaching, could've used an overhaul. You weren't particularly fast or nimble.
Ellie, who was currently trading fake punches with Tommy a few yards away from the warehouse and you and Joel, seemed to be fairing far better. She was already making it look movie realistic.
Joel repeated his action, and you jumped out of reach, just enough so his fist barely grazed you.
"Good," he praised, giving you a curt nod. "That works too. As long as you stay on your feet and don't get off balanced do whatever works for you. The most important part is to not end up exposed and flat on the ground. Now try blocking me."
You put up your hands in front of your face and he threw a punch. It was a pulled one, but it still stung when it hit your arms.
"Better," he declared. He checked his watch. "Let's end things here. Clean up and eat supper."
"Sounds good," you told him, wiping sweat away from your brows. It had been a long time since you'd been to the gym, let alone done true cardio, and it was ninety degrees outside at the moment. You were looking forward to fetching yourself some water, taking a cold shower, and sitting under the air conditioner in the kitchen.
You heard Tommy call off his session with Ellie moments later and you both entered the warehouse together.
"Nice block back there," she commented.
You nudged her in the shoulder. "It's just my martial arts coming back to me."
"You never took any martial arts," she said in disbelief. "You'd have told me."
"Yeah, I would have," you confirmed. "I should have though. Knowing then what I know now, I'd have been practicing since I was five. I could've used it. But you, you're looking like a natural."
Ellie shrugged. "I don't know about that. Mostly been winging it."
"Winging it!" You snorted.
She grinned. "And I didn't even come up with that on purpose."
"I don't believe you," you said. "I think you thought of that a while back and were just waiting for the right time to say it."
"Maybe."
You chuckled and hit the stairs. It didn't take long for your legs to start burning. "You go on ahead; I'll be there in an hour."
"Okay, old lady."
Ellie ran past you and you huffed. Not fair.
x
Supper was spaghetti, and after you were all maxed out on carbs, you returned to the outdoors.
Tommy immediately got Ellie back into training mode, this time focusing on meditation.
"You have a lot of energy kid," he'd said earlier in the day. "And a temper to match, without a lot of control. Meditation will help you learn patience and teach you techniques to allow you to remain level headed even in the heat of battle."
"You think there will be a battle?" she'd questioned, perking up. The kid seemed to want action, or thought it was cool, anyway. You felt the complete opposite.
"We're not ruling anything out," Joel had replied. "You both need to be ready for every possible outcome."
Ellie sat cross-legged beside Tommy, faced the setting sun, and closed her eyes when he did, but even from where you standing, leaning against the backside of the warehouse, you could tell her skin was crawling. It would probably take a long time before she learned to relax completely. Boredom was going to be her worst enemy.
You folded your arms and glanced to Joel, who was sitting further out in the distance, back turned towards you all, starring at the sun.
The way the horizon and the star lined up with his broad shoulders made it look like he was carrying the entire sun on them. A star 1.3 million times bigger than the Earth.
It felt kind of symbolic to you. Joel had been more quiet than ever since you and Ellie had left Austin with him and Tommy. Since the other angels had discovered that Ellie existed. You doubted it had much to do with him and Tommy having to reveal what they really were to you, and more to do with the upcoming solstice. You'd known him long enough to know that Joel always took responsibility. If something ever went wrong, it was always his fault in some way, even if it had truly been out of his hands.
The concrete company was late? He should've called them to remind them of when they were needed.
A car bumped the truck as he was turning into his driveway? He should've put his blinker on sooner.
It wasn't like he wouldn't put blame on others too, but rather that he never allowed himself to be completely exempt from it. Even if he wasn't actually guilty, he was in his eyes.
So you knew if the plan failed, if the angels still killed Ellie, it would be as devastating for him as it would be for you. You might be closer to her, but he'd put the entire blame on himself.
You could relate when it came to Ellie. It was why you'd decided you would sneak out back after everyone fell asleep that night and practice the skills Joel and Tommy have been teaching you, whatever you could do alone.
You were already the fragile, powerless little human of the group; you didn't want to be the weakest fighter too. If that meant more practice and more brain power, so be it. You'd live off of four hours of sleep and wrack you brain raw if it meant you weren't the reason Ellie or your friends got hurt.
x
You put the plan into effect just after midnight, slipping carefully out of the bed you and Ellie shared and tip-toeing down the stairs and into the yard behind the warehouse.
You did it without lights, with barely a squeak from the metal stairs, but you found yourself in company anyway. Joel was also out there, practicing on a punching bag secured to a sturdy post that had been hammered into the ground. His presence surprised you more than the cool of the desert night.
"Couldn't sleep either?" you inquired, biting your tongue as you noticed the way Joel's biceps were flexing under his gray t-shirt with each powerful punch.
"No," he answered, holding the bag still while he looked over at you. "But somehow I sense that's not why you're out here."
"Caught me," you admitted. "I wanted to get more practice in."
"Why?" he asked, eyebrows furrowing. "You did good today."
"Good, not great," you pointed out. "I need to be great. Amazing. I don't want to be a bigger weak link than I already am by being what I am, Joel. Ellie may not have unlocked her powers yet, but even she's catching on faster than me."
"Being part angel wouldn't help you learn faster," Joel said.
"But more practice will."
He nodded, then made room for you by the punching bag. "Want to start here? Learn some offense ahead of time? I'll show you the proper way to throw a punch."
You smiled and took him up on the offer, listening carefully to every instruction he gave and asking as many questions as you needed to feel comfortable about what you were about to do.
"That's it!" Joel praised after your first jab. "Great form there."
Pride bloomed in your chest, making you grin broadly. Maybe you weren't so hopeless after all.
Joel shared your grin, a rare thing, then continued instructing you on how to get the most power out of your punches.
Time flew by.
It was sometime after one, probably, when you and Joel switched back to hand to hand combat training. He mixed it up, repeating the previous lesson's defense techniques but also introducing some new offense.
"Leg swipes," he began. "They're good for knocking almost anyone over if they're not expecting it, even archangels. Good way to escape or get the upper hand long enough to maim them, if you've got the right tools."
Joel couldn't let himself to fall over without being surprised so he turned his back to you and shut his eyes. He could still hear, figure out the direction you were coming, but not the exact moment you struck with your foot, hard.
You failed to put enough power behind the first, second, or third attempt, so on the fourth try you put all your body weight into it.
A mistake. You did knock Joel down, but not without getting unbalanced and toppling over yourself.
Joel's reflexes were naturally quick. He caught you on your way down, and turned you over onto your back while also supporting your head.
He ended up hovering over you in the process, his entire body an inch from yours, his left hand the only thing preventing him from crushing you with his weight.
It was like the Earth stood still. You were both locked in place, breathing heavily, eyes on each others' faces. His dark ones scanned yours, as if he were searching for something. Though his thoughts remained inscrutable, his body language didn't.
He was tense, in an almost fearful way, and you could swear you could hear his heart pounding alongside yours, though you shouldn't have been able to.
The secret crush you'd had for him long before finding out what he was surged, front and center.
He smelled good. He always did. Like the air after a summer rain shower in a forest. Tommy always did too. It must've been an angel thing, but it only ever drew you to Joel.
His hot breath felt tantalizingly good on your neck, comfortingly warm, and there was no smell.
His beard was as neatly kept as ever, blending in the patches where it did not grow. You were close enough to see a few gray hairs spread throughout, briefly making you wonder how fast fallen angels aged.
That thought was quickly blanked when you registered that his broad hand was still cupping the back of your head, gentle but firm.
How many times had you dreamed of a moment like this? With him?
Too many times to count.
You couldn't resist the draw to his lips, lifting your head to press your plump ones against his.
He kissed you back, deepening it. There was a surprising amount of desperation behind the action.
You hadn't realized he liked you too, until then.
He jerked away almost as fast as he'd responded to you, pushing himself into a stand as he did.
"That shouldn't have happened," he said.
"It's okay," you reassured him.
His eyes narrowed and his face hardened. "No, it's not."
"Why?" you asked. "Last I checked Tommy has gone through a whole bar of women since I've known you both."
"I can't," he told you sternly. "I won't."
"I'm not looking for a one night stand," you said, sitting up. "I really like you. Always have."
"It's not about that," he said a little sharply.
There was pain in his eyes. It hurt to notice it.
"Then what is this about?" you questioned softly.
He shook his head. "Bad timing."
You knew it was a lie, but he threw the warehouse door open and disappeared inside before you could say anything else.
You took a shower before returning to bed, but could not sleep a wink the rest of the night.
x
The next morning Tommy approached you for training.
"We're switching it up," he informed you. "Ellie's going to work on defense with Joel today."
"Who's idea was that?" you asked, peering around him to watch Ellie and Joel slip out of the warehouse together.
"His," Tommy replied.
You huffed, unable to help but be a little irritated. "Of course."
He raised an eyebrow at you.
"We kissed last night," you explained.
He gaped at you. "Holy shit."
"Yeah, and then he stormed off after."
Tommy nodded, as if that were to be expected.
You folded your arms over your chest. "Do you know why?"
"Not my place to tell," he said, "But you're not the first human woman he's kissed."
"No?" You frowned, recalling the cutting emotion that crossed his face after he'd parted from you. "Didn't end well?"
He sighed. "No."
"Do you think if I ask, he'll tell me about her?" you inquired.
"No."
"That bad?"
He nodded.
"Tommy, if he won't tell me, don't you think you should?" you asked. "I deserve a reason, don't I?"
He sighed again. "Willow..."
"Did she cheat on him?" you guessed.
He shook his head. "Never, they were practically one with each other, far as I know."
"She died?"
"Yes."
"From what?"
He pulled you farther from the back door by your elbow, clearly afraid Joel might overhear him if you were too close to it.
"For having his child," he answered sadly.
Your eyes widened. "Joel had a kid?"
"Her name was Sarah," Tommy told you. "One of our sisters found out a handful of years after her birth, and murdered her mother. It is what they do to all the human parents of the nephilim, to prevent the angel who mated with them from having another child, and to inflict the maximum amount of pain possible."
"That's awful," you murmured. "And Sarah?"
"We escaped with her," Tommy stated, looking forlorn and lost in thought. "But eventually they found her again, while she was out playing with friends one night. She was fourteen."
"Same age as Ellie," you realized.
He nodded. "That, in part, is probably what drew him to her, yes."
Your eyes welled, and you suddenly felt guilty. "I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me."
"You didn't know," Tommy said, trying to comfort you. "But now you do."
"I'm sorry," you continued, "I know it's not much, and I know that it happened long ago, but still. She was family. I'm sorry."
Tommy flashed you the ghost of a smile. "Thank you. The years I spent on the run with her were fleeting, but I still miss her every day."
You reached out to give him a squeeze on the upper arm and he pulled you into a hug. You hugged him harder. You wished you could take his and Joel's pain away. Give them back what they'd loss, just because their other family members couldn't understand. Just because they were afraid of the nephilim being more powerful than them.
Tommy was the one who ended the embrace, clearing his throat as he stepped back. "Now, let's get out there to practice or else they'll think we're slackin'."
You chuckled and followed him towards the back door. "Wouldn't want that."
(Let me know if any of you want to be tagged for future chapters - this is a one time thing for those who commented before since it's been a long time)
Lost looking for something on this blog? This post is for you!
Months listed next to each show/movie/etc. below are those in which they can be found and usually were reblogged a lot. Expect occasional mass reblogs.
This post is here to give you an idea of where to search for gifs and photos, etc. of a particular subject on my blog. I’m usually pretty good with tagging everything, but in some cases it may be easier to go through the posts by month instead of by the tags.
This post will be updated or reposted whenever I’ve had a lot of activity or it’s a new month.
xxx
Show List
x
12 Monkeys – August 2015, April - July 2016, May - June 2017, June - Nov. 2018, April 2019, Oct. 2019
13 Reasons Why - April 2017
911 (Fox) - Dec. 2018, Nov. 2019 - Dec. 2019, March - Aug. 2020, Jan. - June 2021, Sept. - Dec. 2021, March - June 2022, Aug. - Dec. 2022, March - May 2023, March - June 2024, Sept. - Nov. 2024, March - April 2025
911 Lone Star - Jan. - Aug. 2020, Dec. 2020, Jan. - June 2021, Jan. 2022 - June 2022, Jan. - May 2023, Sept. - Nov. 2024, Jan. - Feb. 2025
A Discovery Of Witches - January 2022
After Life (Netflix) - August 2020, February 2022
Agents Of SHIELD – March 2016, April - May 2016, March - May 2018, May - August 2019, May 2020 - August 2020
Almost Human – January 2016, Feb. 2018
Arrow - February 2017, June 2017, August 2017, Nov. - Dec. 2017, Dec. 2018, May 2019, Dec. 2019, Jan. - Feb. 2020
Awake (2012) - Oct. 2018
Baby Daddy - October 2017
Beauty And The Beast (CW), BATB - April 2018
Being Human (US) - November 2016
Believe - August 2016
Bones (Fox Bones Show) - March 2016, Sept. 2016
Boy Meets World – March 2016, July 2016, Jan. 2017
Bridgerton (Season 3) - June 2024
Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Sept. 2016
Burn Notice - Sept. 2016, March 2020
Camp Cretaceous - October 2020, April 2021, Sept. 2021
Charmed – February 2016, June 2016, Aug. - Sept. 2017, Dec. 2017, March 2022
Charmed (CW) - July 2019, Oct. 2019 - Dec. 2019
Chasing Life - March 2018
Chicago Fire – March 2016, Aug. 2016, Nov. 2016, March 2017, Aug. 2017, Oct. 2017, March 2018, Oct. - Dec. 2018, Jan. - May 2019, Sept. - Nov. 2019, Jan. - April 2020, Nov. - Dec. 2020, Jan. - May 2021, Sept. - Dec. 2021, Jan. 2022 - May 2022, Sept. - Dec. 2022, Jan. - May 2023, Jan. - May 2024, Oct. - Nov. 2024, Jan. - Feb. 2024, Oct. - Dec. 2024, Jan. - April 2025
Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina - June 2019, Sept. 2020
Cobra Kai - Dec. 2021, Sept. - Oct. 2022, August 2024, Dec. 2024, Feb. 2025
Constantine – Dec. 2015, Feb. 2016
Countdown - July 2025
CSI/CSI Vegas - October - Dec. 2021, July 2022, Oct. 2022, April 2023, March 2024, May 2024
Daredevil (Netflix) - January 2018
Daredevil Born Again - July 2025, March - May 2026
Game Of Thrones - Feb. 2018 (Some gifs in months before)
Ghost Whisperer - October 2018, November 2018
Gilligans Island - August 2018
Girl Meets World – March 2016, July 2016, Jan. 2017
Grimm (early seasons) - March 2018
Happy Days - August 2018
Hawaii Five 0 - Oct. 2017
Hawkeye (2021) - July 2022
Heartland – February - April 2016, June - July 2016, Sept. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - Dec. 2017, Jan. - Dec. 2018, Jan. 2019 - Dec. 2019, Jan. - Dec. 2020, Jan. - Sept. - Dec. 2021, Jan. 2022 - Feb. 2022, Nov. 2022, June 2023, Oct. 2025
Hudson And Rex - June 2022
Humans - August 2017
Impractical Jokers - April 2019, Feb. 2020
Into The Badlands – Nov. - Dec. 2015, Jan. 2017, March - June 2017, March - May 2018, April - May 2019
iZombie - Feb. 2018
Jane The Virgin - January 2018
Jericho - December 2018, August 2020
Killjoys - November 2018
Kyle XY - June 2016
Legends Of Tomorrow - February 2017, Aug. 2017, Nov. - Dec. 2017, Feb. 2018 - June 2018, Sept. 2018, Nov. - Dec. 2018, April - May 2019, Jan. 2020, March 2020, May 2020
Lethal Weapon - Sept. – Dec. 2016, Jan. - April 2017, June 2017, Sept. - Oct. 2017, Dec. 2017, Jan. 2018 - May 2018
Limitless - January 2018
Loki (Disney+) - March 2022
Lost In Space - June 2018
Lucifer (Fox), Lucifer (Netflix) - December 2017, April - June 2018, April - May 2019, Sept. 2019, Dec. 2019, Jan. - Feb. 2020, April - May 2020, July - Dec. 2020, Jan. 2021, May - Oct. 2021
Melissa & Joey - October 2017
Moon Knight - October 2022
Moonlight - November 2016, October 2018
Narcos - August - September 2022, March - July 2023, Sept. 2023, Dec. 2023, Jan. - Feb. 2024
Nashville - March - April 2017, September 2018
NCIS - September 2020
Nikita – Nov. 2015, Jan. 2016, Aug. 2016, Aug. 2017
Once Upon A Time – January 2016
One Tree Hill – March 2016, July 2016, Jan. 2017, April 2017, Aug. 2017
Person of Interest – March 2016, June 2016
Prehistoric Park - May 2017
Prison Break - Oct. 2017
Proof - August 2016
Psych - Sept. 2017
Reign (CW) - August 2024
Resurrection - Oct. 2018
Sabrina The Teenage Witch - June 2017
Saved By The Bell - August 2018
Saving Hope - November 2018
Secret Invasion - June - July 2023
Shadowhunters - Feb. 2018
She Hulk Attorney At Law - October 2022
Sherlock BBC - Feb. 2018
Shooter - August 2017
Sleepy Hollow (4 Horsemen & Ichabod) - August 2016, August 2020
Smallville - Feb. 2018
Stranger Things - July 2022
Stitchers - Aug. 2016, March 2017, April 2018
Supergirl - March 2016, Sept. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - May 2017, Aug. 2017, Nov. - Dec. 2017, Feb. 2018, April - June 2018, Dec. 2018, Dec. 2019
Superman & Lois - Feb. - March 2021, May 2021 - Aug. 2021, Jan. 2022 - June 2022, March - June 2023, Oct. - Nov. 2024
Supernatural – Nov. 2015, March 2016, May 2016, July – Sept. 2016, Oct. 2016 (Huge post), Nov. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - Aug. 2017, Oct. - Dec. 2017, January - Dec. 2018, Jan. - Dec. 2019, Jan. - Dec. 2020
Sweet Tooth (Netflix) - May 2023
Teen Wolf – Nov. 2015, Feb. 2016, March - April 2016, Nov. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - Feb. 2017, April 2017, Aug. - Sept. 2017, March 2023
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - June 2019, November 2019
Terra Nova - Oct. 2018
The Dead Zone - August 2020
The Defenders - April 2026
The Falcon And The Winter Soldier - September 2021, July 2022
The Flash – December 2015, February 2017, Aug. 2017, Nov. 2017, Oct. - Dec. 2018, Jan. 2019 - March - May 2019, Nov. - Dec. 2019, Feb. 2020, April 2023
The Following - July 2017
The Good Doctor - September 2021
The Last Of Us (HBO) - Sept. 2022, Dec. 2022, Jan. - May 2023, Sept. - Nov. 2023, Sept. 2024, April - May 2025
The Librarians – Oct. - Nov. 2015, July 2016, Nov. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - Feb. 2017, April 2017, July - Oct. 2017, Dec. 2017, Jan. 2018, June 2018, May 2023
The Mandalorian/The Book Of Boba Fett - July 2022, Sept. 2022, Nov. 2022, March - April 2023
The Mentalist - Nov. 2017
The Originals – Dec. 2015, April 2016, Dec. 2016, Sept. - Oct. 2017, Dec. 2017, Jan. 2018, April - Sept. 2018
The Passage - Jan. 2019 - March 2019
The Pitt - March 2025
The Saddle Club - Oct. 2017
The Vampire Diaries - Jan. - March 2017, Sept. 2017, April 2018
The Walking Dead – March 2016
The Witcher - January 2020, December 2021, June - Aug 2023, Jan. 2026
This Is Us - January 2018
Transformers Prime - May 2017
Walker - Dec. 2020, Jan. - March 2021, May - Aug. 2021, Dec. 2021, Jan. 2022 - Feb. 2022
Warehouse 13 - May 2018
Whose Line Is It Anyway? - March 2017
Wildfire (ABC Family) - June 2016
Veronica Mars/Veronica Mars Movie - Sept. 2016, Aug. 2017
Young & Hungry - October 2017, September 2018
You Vs. Wild - May 2019
X-Files - January 2018
#Show Favorites
xxx
Movies
x
65 (65 Movie) - May 2023
101 Dalmatians - July 2017
101 Dalmatians (1996) - July 2017
A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood - October 2020
A Cinderella Story - February 2018
A Dog Named Christmas - December 2025
After (2019) - October 2020
Age Of Adaline - June 2017
Air Bud - April 2025
Aladdin (2019) - February 2020
Alice (2009) - April 2017
All Dogs Go To Heaven/ADGTH 2 - July 2017
All My Life (2020) - Jan. 2024
Alpha Movie - December 2018
American Assassin - December 2017
An Extremely Goofy Movie - September 2020
A Puppy For Christmas - December 2016
Aquaman (2018), Aquaman And The Lost Kingdom - Feb. 2019, Feb. 2024
Arrival - July 2024
A Star Is Born - September 2019
August Rush - November 2017
Avatar Movies - February 2017, Sept. 2022, May 2023, Jan. 2026, April 2026
A Walk To Remember – May 2016
A Wrinkle In Time - June 2018
Back To The Future - June 2017
Balto - July 2017
Bambi - June 2016
Batman V. Superman - April 2016, May 2016, July 2016, Sept. 2016
Beastly - May 2018
Beauty And The Beast (Animated) - June 2016, Dec. 2016, Aug. 2017
Beauty And The Beast 2017 - Dec. 2016, Aug. 2017
Beethoven - October 2020
Before I Fall - October 2020
Bicentennial Man - October 2020
Black Beauty - September 2016
Blade - October 2020
Blade Runner 2049 - February 2018
Blood And Chocolate - September 2017
Bring It On - July 2018, October 2020, Sept. 2025
Brother Bear – May 2016
Can You Keep A Secret - December 2020
Casper - November 2019
Cast Away - Jan. 2025
Charlie St. Cloud - November 2017
City Of Angels - October 2020
Clash Of The Titans/Wrath Of The Titans - Sept. 2017
Click - August 2021
Constantine Movie - November 2020
Coyote Ugly - October 2020
Creed Movies - April 2016, Oct. 2018, May 2019, May 2023
Criminal - December 2016
Cruel Intentions - September 2017
Daredevil (2003) - January 2018
Dawn Patrol - March 2018
Deadpool/Deadpool And Wolverine - Sept. 2016, Nov. 2024
Descendants Series - Oct. 2017, Sept. 2019
Dirty Dancing - July 2017
Dirty Dancing Havana Nights - July 2023
Disturbia - October 2020
Doctor Dolittle (1998) - October 2020
Dog (2022) - June 2023
Eight Below - September 2016
Ella Enchanted - Sept. 2017, Jan. 2019
Enemy Mine - January 2017
Eragon - September 2017
Everything Everything - August 2018
Extraction - May 2023
Fallen TV Movie - Jan. 2017
Fantastic Four (2005) - October 2020
Fast And Furious Movies - April 2016, April 2017, Feb. 2018, August 2019
Fighting With My Family - October 2020
Flicka (w/Tim McGraw) - September 2016
Flipper - October 2020
Footloose (1984) - July 2017
Footloose (2011) - Oct. 2017
Forever My Girl - March 2019
Frankenstein (2025) - November 2025
Freaky Tales - Feb. 2025, April 2025
Free Willy - October 2020
Frozen - June 2016
Galaxy Quest - December 2017
Gemini Man - October 2020
George Of The Jungle - January 2017
Ghost (1990) - October 2020
Ghost Rider Movies - October 2020
Gifted - Feb. 2018, June 2018
Gladiator 2 - Sept. 2024, Nov. - Dec. 2024
Godzilla Vs. Kong - March 2022
Godzilla x Kong - July 2024
Good Boy (2025) - November 2025
Good Will Hunting - April 2022
Grease/Grease Movies - June 2017, October 2020
Hachi - September 2016
Hellboy Movies - May 2017, April 2019
Hercules (Animated) – May - June 2016
Hidalgo - September 2016
Holes - October 2023
Homeward Bound - September 2016
Horse Sense - October 2017
Hours - June 2017
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days - June 2017
I Am Legend - October 2020
I Am Number Four - May 2018
Ice Age Movies – May 2016
If I Stay – May 2016
If Only - January 2017, October 2020
I Frankenstein - April 2018
Indiana Jones - August 2021
Instant Family - October 2020
Interstellar - September 2019
Iron Will - September 2016
Jack Frost (1998) - January 2017
John Wick Movies - July 2019, May 2023
Jumanji Welcome To The Jungle - July 2018
Jumper - October 2020
Jurassic Park/Jurassic World Movies – May 2016, Dec. 2017, Oct. 2018, April 2020, July 2022, August 2025
Justice League - Sept. 2016, Aug. 2017, Nov. 2017, Jan. - Feb. 2018
Just Like Heaven - January 2017
Karate Kid - December 2021
Kate & Leopold - August 2024
Keith (2008) - October 2020, Sept. 2025
Kong Skull Island - December 2017
Lady And The Tramp - June 2016
Lassie (1994) - September 2016
Last Christmas - November 2019
Legally Blonde – May 2016
Legion (2010) - May 2017
Letters To Juliet - August 2018
Lone Survivor - December 2020
Love And Monsters - December 2020
Man Of Steel - April 2016, August 2017
Man On Fire - October 2020
Men In Black Movies - October 2020
Marley And Me - September 2016
Marry Me - April 2022
Marvel Cinematic Universe Movies (Avengers, Spiderman, etc.) - April 2016, June - July 2016, Sept. 2016, Aug. 2017, Nov. 2017, Jan. 2018, March - April 2018, Sept. 2018, April 2019, Sept. 2019, July 2022, August 2023, July 2025
Materialists - March 2025, July - August 2025
Max (Dog Movie) - September 2016
Midnight Sun (2018) - October 2020
Moana - July 2017
Motocrossed - November 2017
Mulan (Animated) – May 2016
Mulan 2020 - December 2019
My Fake Fiance - October 2017
Narnia Series - September 2017
National Treasure (2004) - October 2020
Need For Speed - October 2020
Netflix Movies - May 2019
News Of The World - August 2022
Night At The Museum (NATM Series) - March 2018
Nine Months (1995) - August 2022
Nobody Movies (Nobody, Nobody 2) - February 2026
Oliver And Company - June 2016
Peppermint - March 2024
Percy Jackson - October 2020
Planet Of The Apes Movies - October 2020, August 2024
Pocahontas - June 2016
Priest - May 2017
Prince Of Persia (2010) - June 2017, October 2020
Project Hail Mary - May 2026
Prospect - August 2022
P.S. I Love You - October 2020
Raise Your Voice - January 2016
Real Steel - October 2020
Red Dog - September 2016
Regretting You - February 2026
Remember Sunday – May 2016
Reminders Of Him - May 2026
Rental Family - February 2026
Riddick Movies - October 2020
RoboCop/Robocop 2014 - February 2018
Rocky (1-6) - April 2016, May 2019
Safe Haven - October 2020, October 2024
Save The Last Dance - October 2020, October 2022
Seabiscuit - September 2016
Secretariat - September 2016
Set It Up - August 2024
Shazam Movies - September 2023
She Rides Shotgun - February 2026
She’s Having A Baby - July 2017, October 2020, August 2022
She’s The Man – May 2016
Shrek - June 2016, October 2020
Snow Dogs - September 2016
Snow White And The Huntsman - September 2017
Spiderman (2002) - August 2017, October 2020
Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron – May 2016, June 2024
Spy Kids - April 2019
Star Trek (2009 Verse) - April 2016, July - Sept. 2016
Star Wars - April 2016, Sept 2016, Aug. 2017
Step Up Movies - October 2020
Suicide Squad - September 2016
Superman (2025) - July - Aug 2025
Sweet Home Alabama - June 2017
Taken Movies - October 2020
Tangled - June 2016, May 2017
Tarzan (Animated) – May 2016
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) - July 2017
Terminator Movies – May 2016
The Adam Project - May 2023
The Addams Family - February 2018, November 2019
The Art Of Racing In The Rain - October 2020
The Batman (2022) - June 2022
The Blue Lagoon (1980) - October 2020
The Covenant - February 2022
The Creator - July 2025
The Crow (Original) – May 2016, October 2018
The Dark Knight/The Dark Knight Trilogy - June 2017, Aug. 2017
The Duff - February 2018
The Equalizer Movies - June 2023
The Expendables Movies - October 2020
The Fantastic Four First Steps - Feb. 2025, April 2025, July 2025, Sept. - Oct. 2025
The Flintstones - October 2020
The Fox And The Hound - July 2017
The Game Plan - May 2018
The Good Witch - June 2023
The Gorge - March 2025
The Gray Man - September 2022
The Greatest Showman - January 2018, May 2018
The Hitman’s Bodyguard - February 2020
The Holiday - December 2023
The Horse Whisperer - September 2016
The Host - November 2017
The Hunger Games - May 2017, Aug. 2017
The Indian In The Cupboard - March 2018
The Jungle Book - August 2017
The Land Before Time - July 2017
The Last Witch Hunter - October 2020
The Legend Of Tarzan - June 2017
The Lion King Movies (Animated) – May - June 2016, May 2017
The Little Mermaid - June 2016
The Little Mermaid (2023) - Oct. 2023
The Longest Ride - March 2018
The Lucky One - November 2017
The Magnificent Seven (2016) - Jan. 2017
The Mandalorian And Grogu - February 2026, May 2026
The Matrix Movies - March 2022
The Maze Runner - May 2017, January 2018, May 2018
The Mummy (1999) - January 2017
The Mummy Returns - January 2017
The Notebook - July 2021
The Pacifier - May 2018
The Parent Trap - October 2020
The Patriot - October 2020
The Pirates Of The Caribbean (TPOTC Movies) - January 2020
The Prince & Me - October 2020
The Princess Bride - October 2020
The Princess Diaries/The Princess Diaries 2 - February 2018
The Proposal – May 2016
The Running Man (2025 version)- February 2026
The Santa Clause/The Santa Clause Movies - January 2020
The Secret Life Of Pets - December 2016
The Sound Of Music - October 2020
The Suicide Squad (2021) - September 2021
The Ultimate Gift - December 2016
The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent - October 2022
The Uninvited (2024) - November 2024
The Wild Robot - October 2024
Titanic - October 2020
Togo - March 2020
Tomorrowland - October 2020
Top Gun Maverick - April 2023
Toy Story - June 2016
Transformers Movies/Bumblebee 2018 - May 2017, April 2019, August 2023
Tremors - July 2017
Triple Frontier - June 2023
Tuck Everlasting - October 2020
Twilight Movies - May 2017
Twisters - July 2024
Twitches - July 2021
Unconditional - December 2016
Underworld Movies - October 2018
Walking Tall - January 2017
Walk The Line - October 2020
War Horse - Sept. 2016, Nov. 2016
Warm Bodies - November 2017
We Bought A Zoo - June 2017
We Live In Time - Dec. 2024
What Happens In Vegas - March 2022
While You Were Sleeping - October 2020
Winter’s Tale - October 2020
Wonder Woman (2017)/Wonder Woman 1984 - April 2016, July 2016, Nov. 2016, Sept. 2017, Dec. 2017, Dec. 2019
X-Men/Wolverine/Logan Movie - Oct. - Nov. 2016, Aug. 2017
Zootopia - December 2025
xxx
Animals/Nature (Horses, Dogs, etc.) - July 2016, Nov. 2016, April 2017, Aug. 2017, Nov. 2017, Nov. 2019 xxx
#Movie Favorites
Video Games
Cyberpunk 2077 - August 2022
Death Stranding (Series) - Oct. 2025
Detriot Become Human (PC/PS4 Game) - August 2021
God Of War/God Of War (2018)/GOW Ragnarok - Sept. 2023, Nov. 2025
Jurassic World Evolution Games (XBox/PC Game) - Dec. 2018, March 2024
Red Dead Redemption 2 - February 2026
Resident Evil Requiem (Resident Evil 9) - March 2026
Stray - August 2022
The Isle (PC Game) - July 2020
The Last Of Us (Game)/II/PlayStation - June 2022, Sept. 2022
The Walking Dead Game - Nov. 2016, June 2022
#Game Favorites
xxx
Youtubers
Buzzfeed Unsolved - April 2019
The Hillywood Show/Hillywood - Nov. 2017, Aug. 2018
Markiplier - April 2022
The Try Guys - April 2019
xxx
Actors
Zac Efron - August 2017
Chris Hemsworth - Sept. 2017
Michael B. Jordan - Dec. 2018
Pedro Pascal - 2022 to 2023
Chris Pine - Sept. 2017
The tags for many actors are “Actors” or rarely, “Actor”
xxx
Fanfiction Tags (for my fics and fanfics I enjoyed)
#Fanfiction (general tag, not used often outside of my own fics)
#Fanfic Favorites
#Fanfic Series
#Pregnancy Fic (any fanfics with pregnancy as a plot)
#Mine (The fanfics I’ve posted here)
#911 LS Fanfiction (911 Lone Star)
#Heartland Fanfic
#DC Fanfic (Man Of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League)
#Man Of Steel Fanfics
#SPN Fanfic (Supernatural Fanfiction)
#Pedro Pascal Character Fanfic (for non-Joel Miller fics)
#TLOU Fanfic (for both game and show Joel, Ellie, and/or Tommy fanfics)
#The Last Of Us Part II Fanfic (TLOU game 2 fics, spoilers for show)
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (nicknamed Willow)
Other Characters: Ellie Williams, Tommy Miller
Summary: Joel and Tommy teach you and Ellie how to fight; you find out why they became fallen
Rating: 18+ Series
Word Count: 5,000(ish)
Warnings: Fowl language, POV switches, practice fighting, sexual tension, angst, nods to show's plot continues
Author’s Note: After an extremely long pause, we're back! Sorry for the delay to anyone who actually read this before and has somehow found it again.
xxx
Tommy drove for hours, into the next morning. It was a long enough trip for Willow and Ellie to eventually fall asleep, but until they did, they had a lot of questions.
"What the fuck is going on?" Ellie exclaimed as their street disappeared from the rear view. "Is it safe to talk now?"
"Yes," Tommy replied.
"Why are angels after Ellie?" you repeated from minutes before.
"She's a nephal," Joel answered.
"A nephal?" Ellie blinked. "What the...?"
"Ever hear of nephilim?" Joel asked. "Part angel, part human? You're one of them."
"Holy shit!" she gasped. "Does that mean I have wings too?"
"I've never seen one with wings," Joel told her. "Don't know if it's possible. But you do likely have 'powers' of some kind, as humans put it, whether you've discovered them or not. Tend to appear during puberty."
She snorted. "Finally a positive."
"Nephilim of the bible...-" you paused and a worried expression crossed your face. You weren't super religious, but you knew a few things about angel mythology. None good about nephilim.
"Real life nephilim don't have much in common," Tommy promised. "She's powerful; not evil."
You relaxed.
"Of course I'm not!" Ellie huffed. "I would know!"
"Being powerful is enough," Joel stated firmly. "As far as most angels are concerned, you might as well be a demon. Or worse. Lucifer himself. If you've got the right parentage, you could actually be even more powerful than him."
"Lucifer, that's the devil, right?" she questioned.
Joel nodded.
"Shit," you said under your breath. "Are all of Heaven's angels after her then?"
"It's possible," he replied, jaw clenching. "Nephilim are rare, for what should be obvious reasons. Usually we wouldn't have more than a few angels on a mission to cull a single nephal, but they also want to drain Ellie of her blood."
You frowned. "Why?"
"The barrier between Hell and Earth is getting weaker, breaking," Tommy injected. "And apparently the others think her blood, her power, could seal the leak."
"We?" Ellie questioned.
"Angels," Tommy answered. "But yes, that included us. Until we realized we were all wrong."
"What changed your minds?" she prompted.
He glanced at Joel, who kept staring straight ahead, silent.
"It wasn't just one thing," he eventually told her. "Or I should say, one nephil. It took some time, but once the blinders were off we couldn't continue to go along with our orders. And because of it, we were forced to go on the run."
"Just for refusing to see it their way?" you asked.
"Of course," he replied. "We weren't allowed to use free will. It was God's orders; at least that's what we were told. Only Michael had access to our Father for centuries. If he wanted something done, he could tell us it was orders from Him and we wouldn't know any better. So who knows?"
"Wait, Michael, as in the archangel Michael?" Ellie's eyes widened. "The leader of all the angels?"
Tommy noticed her expression in the rear view mirror and chuckled. "The one and only. Though I much prefer the way he's presented in most media than how he actually is."
"So he's a dick," she concluded, sitting back in her seat. "Figures."
"I much preferred Joel's leadership to his," Tommy said.
You and Ellie both shared a look. "Are you saying...?" Ellie inquired, jaw slightly hanging open.
"Yes, Joel's an archangel," Tommy confirmed. "Or was, at least."
Ellie's eyes bulged. "Holy shit."
You glanced at Joel from the left side of the truck. "Have you seen God, then? His face?"
He finally reacted. "What face?"
"There's no words for Father," Tommy told you. "In any language."
"Huh."
"So, what are we going to do with an entire army of angels after us?" Ellie asked.
"Hide," Joel answered simply, reaching into his back pocket for the note Celina had given him and scanning over the words scribbled onto it. "Until December twenty-two."
You arched an eyebrow. "Why December twenty-two?"
"Winter solstice," Tommy explained. "The shortest day and longest night of the year. Humans think Halloween is the time for demons to come out, but it is the winter solstice that brings you the closest to Hell. That's when they're planning to kill her, isn't it, Joel?"
Joel nodded.
You sighed. "Lovely. So we have to hide until then, or maybe forever?"
"We can't hide forever," Joel said, "We'd have to keep running with Ellie around. But even then, eventually, they'd catch up. But we can try something else. We can try to convince enough of them to side with us so that Michael and his loyalists are forced to think twice about killing us."
"And how many angels would that take?" you asked.
His expression turned grim. "Far more than probable."
"More than half?"
He nodded.
"Great," Ellie said, throwing her hands up.
"What would it take to convince them?" you questioned.
"Proof that she's more valuable alive than dead," he stated.
"And how are you going to do that?"
"We'll need to draw blood from her daily," he answered. "Store it away until that night then use it to strengthen the barrier."
"No way!" Ellie exclaimed. "I'm not going to be a human pin cushion."
You pursed your lips. "Would that work?"
"Celina, our sister, seems to think so," Tommy replied.
Joel nodded. "It's our best shot. If there's enough power in her blood, if it works even after being some time away from her body, there's a chance they'll decide to keep her alive in case this happens again."
"But it's not guaranteed," you noted.
He shook his head.
"It's what we got," Tommy said.
Ellie sighed and folded her arms. "Fine, I'll do it. But don't think I won't complain."
Tommy chuckled. "I'd be worried if you didn't."
"Shut up."
x
You woke up from a restless sleep with a kink in your neck as Tommy's truck jerked to a halt.
Rubbing the sore spot, you peered sleepily around. The truck was in the middle of a Walmart parking lot. It appeared to be afternoon.
"Where are we?"
"A Walmart in Phoenix," he replied. "Figured it would be best for you and Ellie to grab anything you need that you didn't pack over here and then we can head for the safe house."
"You have a safe house?" Ellie questioned, rubbing her eyes as she stirred.
You blinked. "You can afford a safe house?"
"Did you forget they're angels?" Ellie huffed. "They can probably snap money into existence or something."
Tommy laughed. "I wish. No, we've just worked long enough we have a good chunk of money saved up. And we've lived long enough to know the right people to set up a safe house under different names."
Ellie slapped her face. "How could I forget you're ancient?"
"Different names," you mused. "What are your real names, anyway?"
"Thomas and Jaoel," Tommy answered.
"Not far off," you pointed out.
"We've changed our names to completely different ones in the past," he told you. "But it stopped mattering after a while."
You wondered what that meant, but didn't press. You'd fallen asleep with a headache, and woken up with one. You had enough information to process as it was.
"You'd better step on it," Joel told you. "Got a half hour. Any longer we risk drawing attention. Since we're fallen we don't have the kind of power we had before for the other angels to sense, but Ellie's enough of a beacon to alert anyone within the city single-handedly."
"Nice," Ellie commented, nodding. "So when do I get to test out these powers?"
"Not now, Ellie," you hushed her as you opened your door. "We gotta go unless you don't want a toothbrush and would like to live off the jerky I saw in their bag for the next few months."
She grumbled but listened and followed you inside. Joel and Tommy weren't far behind.
Tommy separated from you once through the door to go collect more supplies for him and Joel, but Joel stuck close, vigilant about his surroundings the whole time. The way he stared into the distance and honed in on sounds made you wonder how much better an angel's senses were than a human's, fallen or not.
Barely twenty minutes passed before he herded you and Ellie to the self checkout area, helping scan and pack what you'd chosen out.
When you returned to the truck Tommy was waiting in the driver's seat with a few bags sitting on the bench seat between him and Joel.
He drove ten minutes out of Phoenix, into the desert, to park in front of an old metal warehouse that appeared abandoned, the gray paint in the process of peeling off most of its exterior.
"This is what you could afford after centuries?" Ellie grumbled as she hopped out of the truck with her backpack flung over one shoulder.
"It's discreet," Joel explained. "Last thing a safe house needs to do is draw attention."
He and Tommy led you both inside, flicking on the lights by the main door as you passed them to look around.
The warehouse was pretty big. There was a mostly empty first level made with a concrete floor and small windows. The main wall had a garage door attached and there was a couch and a few old chairs against the back wall sat behind an old square dining table.
There was a clanky looking metal stairway that led to the second level, and when you climbed it you discovered a more homely, but still very basic set up. Five rooms covered about half the distance that the first level did. There was a kitchen slash office area with a fridge, microwave, stove, small table, cabinets, and an office desk and chair inside. The second was a bathroom with a small sink, toilet, and shower. Then the last three were bedrooms, with simple twin sized beds covered with gray blankets and sheets, and a chest for clothes in each of them. There were only wall lamps in each room and windows that were identical to the ones downstairs.
It was dark and a little musty, but the dust wasn't too built up. Clearly Joel and Tommy had someone take care of the place occasionally, if they didn't do it themselves.
"Guess we're sharing a room," you told Ellie, who was closely trailing you.
"Last one," Joel ordered from farther behind. "Across from mine."
"Does it even matter?" Ellie questioned. "They all look the same."
"Last room has reinforced walls," Joel informed her. "Extra protection against bullets."
"Angels use guns?" she asked, surprised.
"They do on mortals," he answered. "We're more practiced with blades, but our kind adapt with the times. Angels heal fast from bullet wounds, but humans not so much."
"What about me?"
"Nephilim are more resistant than humans, but less so than angels," Joel said. "Still, you shouldn't die from a few bullets, even if one is to the head. A dozen to the head? Maybe."
"Noted," she muttered.
"Get settled, meet us in the kitchen in five," Joel continued, heading for his room as he spoke.
You and Ellie nodded and slipped into your room, closing the door behind you.
"Am I the only one who feels like someone gave them mushrooms?" Ellie inquired as she flopped down on top of the bed.
"It is crazy," you agreed, taking out some of the items in the bags you were carrying to store them away in the night stand. You placed your purse on top of it after.
"How can you be so calm?" she barked.
You shrugged. "Read too many vampire novels growing up, I guess."
Truth was, your mind was racing. You were worried about too many factors to voice them. Everything from how you were going to pay the bills to keep the government from taking your house while you were gone, to how you were going to defend yourself and Ellie from a bunch of freakin' angels.
Ellie narrowed her eyes at you suspiciously. "You're not calm, are you?"
You shook your head. "Just too much to fully process right now. But I trust Joel and Tommy to get us through this."
"Really? Even after they lied to you?"
"Ellie, they can probably hear."
"I don't care."
"Sometimes adults have to keep secrets from one another," you told her. "If I know anything from reading books, knowledge can be dangerous."
"It can also be dangerous to be ignorant," Ellie pointed out. "How many people die in books because the main character never told them about their enemies and how they may come for them because they know them?"
"In this case, it's my own fault," you informed her. "Joel and Tommy tried to talk me out of taking you in. I couldn't understand why. Now it all makes sense. But I...I don't regret it, Ellie. I know I've only known you a short while, but I care about you."
"You'd be better off if you didn't," she told you with a hint of bitterness.
"Maybe, maybe not," you said. "I may be in hiding, but I haven't lost much in leaving Austin. You, Tommy, Joel...as long as you're around, I can handle whatever comes our way. Having you in my life is meaningful, more than having a house and a steady job."
Ellie snorted. "Now I know you are crazy."
You shrugged again. "Maybe."
She sat up and dropped her backpack to the floor. "Five minutes are up."
You nodded. "Let's go see what they have to say."
x
It turned out the kitchen meeting was not just to talk. Tommy was in the middle of cooking pancakes on the stove when you and Ellie joined Joel at the table and you were thankful. Your stomach had been growling for hours.
"So besides the pancakes, what did you want us in here for?" you asked them as you tore into your first one a few minutes later.
"Joel and I thought it best if you both learn self defense," Tommy replied, dunking his pancake into a small bowl of syrup.
"What would it matter if I did?" you questioned. "Aren't angels way more powerful than humans?"
"We have more brute strength, yes," he confirmed. "But self defense isn't just about strength. It's about knowing your enemies' weak points. It's about knowing how to out maneuver someone bigger and stronger than you. And don't underestimate how much damage you can do with an element of surprise."
"Alright," you paused, "So when do we start?"
"Tonight," Joel answered. "After supper."
"And what til then?"
"Til then, we tell you all about our kind."
x
"Evade," Joel ordered you, taking a carefully calculated swing at your face.
You ducked and he nodded in approval. "Not bad. Need to move faster, and don't let yourself get unbalanced."
"Easier said than done," you muttered as sweat rolled down your forehead. "I have no balance."
"Balance can be taught," Joel informed you. "Try the plank walk later."
You nodded half-heartedly.
You were only a few days into training, but you already felt like you were falling behind. You were doing alright with basic offense while training with Tommy, but your defense, which Joel was teaching, could've used an overhaul. You weren't particularly fast or nimble.
Ellie, who was currently trading fake punches with Tommy a few yards away from the warehouse and you and Joel, seemed to be fairing far better. She was already making it look movie realistic.
Joel repeated his action, and you jumped out of reach, just enough so his fist barely grazed you.
"Good," he praised, giving you a curt nod. "That works too. As long as you stay on your feet and don't get off balanced do whatever works for you. The most important part is to not end up exposed and flat on the ground. Now try blocking me."
You put up your hands in front of your face and he threw a punch. It was a pulled one, but it still stung when it hit your arms.
"Better," he declared. He checked his watch. "Let's end things here. Clean up and eat supper."
"Sounds good," you told him, wiping sweat away from your brows. It had been a long time since you'd been to the gym, let alone done true cardio, and it was ninety degrees outside at the moment. You were looking forward to fetching yourself some water, taking a cold shower, and sitting under the air conditioner in the kitchen.
You heard Tommy call off his session with Ellie moments later and you both entered the warehouse together.
"Nice block back there," she commented.
You nudged her in the shoulder. "It's just my martial arts coming back to me."
"You never took any martial arts," she said in disbelief. "You'd have told me."
"Yeah, I would have," you confirmed. "I should have though. Knowing then what I know now, I'd have been practicing since I was five. I could've used it. But you, you're looking like a natural."
Ellie shrugged. "I don't know about that. Mostly been winging it."
"Winging it!" You snorted.
She grinned. "And I didn't even come up with that on purpose."
"I don't believe you," you said. "I think you thought of that a while back and were just waiting for the right time to say it."
"Maybe."
You chuckled and hit the stairs. It didn't take long for your legs to start burning. "You go on ahead; I'll be there in an hour."
"Okay, old lady."
Ellie ran past you and you huffed. Not fair.
x
Supper was spaghetti, and after you were all maxed out on carbs, you returned to the outdoors.
Tommy immediately got Ellie back into training mode, this time focusing on meditation.
"You have a lot of energy kid," he'd said earlier in the day. "And a temper to match, without a lot of control. Meditation will help you learn patience and teach you techniques to allow you to remain level headed even in the heat of battle."
"You think there will be a battle?" she'd questioned, perking up. The kid seemed to want action, or thought it was cool, anyway. You felt the complete opposite.
"We're not ruling anything out," Joel had replied. "You both need to be ready for every possible outcome."
Ellie sat cross-legged beside Tommy, faced the setting sun, and closed her eyes when he did, but even from where you standing, leaning against the backside of the warehouse, you could tell her skin was crawling. It would probably take a long time before she learned to relax completely. Boredom was going to be her worst enemy.
You folded your arms and glanced to Joel, who was sitting further out in the distance, back turned towards you all, starring at the sun.
The way the horizon and the star lined up with his broad shoulders made it look like he was carrying the entire sun on them. A star 1.3 million times bigger than the Earth.
It felt kind of symbolic to you. Joel had been more quiet than ever since you and Ellie had left Austin with him and Tommy. Since the other angels had discovered that Ellie existed. You doubted it had much to do with him and Tommy having to reveal what they really were to you, and more to do with the upcoming solstice. You'd known him long enough to know that Joel always took responsibility. If something ever went wrong, it was always his fault in some way, even if it had truly been out of his hands.
The concrete company was late? He should've called them to remind them of when they were needed.
A car bumped the truck as he was turning into his driveway? He should've put his blinker on sooner.
It wasn't like he wouldn't put blame on others too, but rather that he never allowed himself to be completely exempt from it. Even if he wasn't actually guilty, he was in his eyes.
So you knew if the plan failed, if the angels still killed Ellie, it would be as devastating for him as it would be for you. You might be closer to her, but he'd put the entire blame on himself.
You could relate when it came to Ellie. It was why you'd decided you would sneak out back after everyone fell asleep that night and practice the skills Joel and Tommy have been teaching you, whatever you could do alone.
You were already the fragile, powerless little human of the group; you didn't want to be the weakest fighter too. If that meant more practice and more brain power, so be it. You'd live off of four hours of sleep and wrack you brain raw if it meant you weren't the reason Ellie or your friends got hurt.
x
You put the plan into effect just after midnight, slipping carefully out of the bed you and Ellie shared and tip-toeing down the stairs and into the yard behind the warehouse.
You did it without lights, with barely a squeak from the metal stairs, but you found yourself in company anyway. Joel was also out there, practicing on a punching bag secured to a sturdy post that had been hammered into the ground. His presence surprised you more than the cool of the desert night.
"Couldn't sleep either?" you inquired, biting your tongue as you noticed the way Joel's biceps were flexing under his gray t-shirt with each powerful punch.
"No," he answered, holding the bag still while he looked over at you. "But somehow I sense that's not why you're out here."
"Caught me," you admitted. "I wanted to get more practice in."
"Why?" he asked, eyebrows furrowing. "You did good today."
"Good, not great," you pointed out. "I need to be great. Amazing. I don't want to be a bigger weak link than I already am by being what I am, Joel. Ellie may not have unlocked her powers yet, but even she's catching on faster than me."
"Being part angel wouldn't help you learn faster," Joel said.
"But more practice will."
He nodded, then made room for you by the punching bag. "Want to start here? Learn some offense ahead of time? I'll show you the proper way to throw a punch."
You smiled and took him up on the offer, listening carefully to every instruction he gave and asking as many questions as you needed to feel comfortable about what you were about to do.
"That's it!" Joel praised after your first jab. "Great form there."
Pride bloomed in your chest, making you grin broadly. Maybe you weren't so hopeless after all.
Joel shared your grin, a rare thing, then continued instructing you on how to get the most power out of your punches.
Time flew by.
It was sometime after one, probably, when you and Joel switched back to hand to hand combat training. He mixed it up, repeating the previous lesson's defense techniques but also introducing some new offense.
"Leg swipes," he began. "They're good for knocking almost anyone over if they're not expecting it, even archangels. Good way to escape or get the upper hand long enough to maim them, if you've got the right tools."
Joel couldn't let himself to fall over without being surprised so he turned his back to you and shut his eyes. He could still hear, figure out the direction you were coming, but not the exact moment you struck with your foot, hard.
You failed to put enough power behind the first, second, or third attempt, so on the fourth try you put all your body weight into it.
A mistake. You did knock Joel down, but not without getting unbalanced and toppling over yourself.
Joel's reflexes were naturally quick. He caught you on your way down, and turned you over onto your back while also supporting your head.
He ended up hovering over you in the process, his entire body an inch from yours, his left hand the only thing preventing him from crushing you with his weight.
It was like the Earth stood still. You were both locked in place, breathing heavily, eyes on each others' faces. His dark ones scanned yours, as if he were searching for something. Though his thoughts remained inscrutable, his body language didn't.
He was tense, in an almost fearful way, and you could swear you could hear his heart pounding alongside yours, though you shouldn't have been able to.
The secret crush you'd had for him long before finding out what he was surged, front and center.
He smelled good. He always did. Like the air after a summer rain shower in a forest. Tommy always did too. It must've been an angel thing, but it only ever drew you to Joel.
His hot breath felt tantalizingly good on your neck, comfortingly warm, and there was no smell.
His beard was as neatly kept as ever, blending in the patches where it did not grow. You were close enough to see a few gray hairs spread throughout, briefly making you wonder how fast fallen angels aged.
That thought was quickly blanked when you registered that his broad hand was still cupping the back of your head, gentle but firm.
How many times had you dreamed of a moment like this? With him?
Too many times to count.
You couldn't resist the draw to his lips, lifting your head to press your plump ones against his.
He kissed you back, deepening it. There was a surprising amount of desperation behind the action.
You hadn't realized he liked you too, until then.
He jerked away almost as fast as he'd responded to you, pushing himself into a stand as he did.
"That shouldn't have happened," he said.
"It's okay," you reassured him.
His eyes narrowed and his face hardened. "No, it's not."
"Why?" you asked. "Last I checked Tommy has gone through a whole bar of women since I've known you both."
"I can't," he told you sternly. "I won't."
"I'm not looking for a one night stand," you said, sitting up. "I really like you. Always have."
"It's not about that," he said a little sharply.
There was pain in his eyes. It hurt to notice it.
"Then what is this about?" you questioned softly.
He shook his head. "Bad timing."
You knew it was a lie, but he threw the warehouse door open and disappeared inside before you could say anything else.
You took a shower before returning to bed, but could not sleep a wink the rest of the night.
x
The next morning Tommy approached you for training.
"We're switching it up," he informed you. "Ellie's going to work on defense with Joel today."
"Who's idea was that?" you asked, peering around him to watch Ellie and Joel slip out of the warehouse together.
"His," Tommy replied.
You huffed, unable to help but be a little irritated. "Of course."
He raised an eyebrow at you.
"We kissed last night," you explained.
He gaped at you. "Holy shit."
"Yeah, and then he stormed off after."
Tommy nodded, as if that were to be expected.
You folded your arms over your chest. "Do you know why?"
"Not my place to tell," he said, "But you're not the first human woman he's kissed."
"No?" You frowned, recalling the cutting emotion that crossed his face after he'd parted from you. "Didn't end well?"
He sighed. "No."
"Do you think if I ask, he'll tell me about her?" you inquired.
"No."
"That bad?"
He nodded.
"Tommy, if he won't tell me, don't you think you should?" you asked. "I deserve a reason, don't I?"
He sighed again. "Willow..."
"Did she cheat on him?" you guessed.
He shook his head. "Never, they were practically one with each other, far as I know."
"She died?"
"Yes."
"From what?"
He pulled you farther from the back door by your elbow, clearly afraid Joel might overhear him if you were too close to it.
"For having his child," he answered sadly.
Your eyes widened. "Joel had a kid?"
"Her name was Sarah," Tommy told you. "One of our sisters found out a handful of years after her birth, and murdered her mother. It is what they do to all the human parents of the nephilim, to prevent the angel who mated with them from having another child, and to inflict the maximum amount of pain possible."
"That's awful," you murmured. "And Sarah?"
"We escaped with her," Tommy stated, looking forlorn and lost in thought. "But eventually they found her again, while she was out playing with friends one night. She was fourteen."
"Same age as Ellie," you realized.
He nodded. "That, in part, is probably what drew him to her, yes."
Your eyes welled, and you suddenly felt guilty. "I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me."
"You didn't know," Tommy said, trying to comfort you. "But now you do."
"I'm sorry," you continued, "I know it's not much, and I know that it happened long ago, but still. She was family. I'm sorry."
Tommy flashed you the ghost of a smile. "Thank you. The years I spent on the run with her were fleeting, but I still miss her every day."
You reached out to give him a squeeze on the upper arm and he pulled you into a hug. You hugged him harder. You wished you could take his and Joel's pain away. Give them back what they'd loss, just because their other family members couldn't understand. Just because they were afraid of the nephilim being more powerful than them.
Tommy was the one who ended the embrace, clearing his throat as he stepped back. "Now, let's get out there to practice or else they'll think we're slackin'."
You chuckled and followed him towards the back door. "Wouldn't want that."
(Let me know if any of you want to be tagged for future chapters - this is a one time thing for those who commented before since it's been a long time)
Three - Obviously English (modern English - it's important to point out - old English is something else), second French, then Spanish.
That says nothing about how well I know these languages.
I understand a surprising amount of French, at least the French dialect spoken in my region of the US, but speak it? Not so much.
Spanish is basically just whatever I remember from the class I had to take in middle school, which isn't much. Not sure how I passed that class. I must have short term memorized every single word. I have picked up a few more words from watching Narcos, but nothing actually useful in having a conversation with someone who speaks Spanish (and it's only a few words cause I'm busy reading the English words on screen to understand - learning from TV has never worked for me). Again like French, I understand more than I speak it.
I infer a lot of words in French and some in Spanish. The English language borrowed a lot from them, so if there's shared words spoken or I know one word in a sentence, I may be able to guess what someone is saying, especially if I also take note their body language and tone of voice.
I've always wanted to learn more, but I've always struggled to study and retain any information, period, let alone a full language. I've tried apps and games and barely made it a half hour into them before wanting to take a knife to the temple. I'd do better if I had people around who spoke other languages and were willing to speak it then translate for me after but no luck. And I'd still pick it up so very slowly. It's almost as bad as math for me. I just get blocked. I do better when I'm not trying.
Of course, if I needed to learn to survive or die, I'd probably learn (maybe, I might learn too slow to survive), but in the US, at least where I live, most languages other than English are dying with each generation. Which is sad, since I think other languages are neat, I love hearing people talk in other languages, especially the romance languages cause they sound so flowly compared to modern English and because I can still infer some words.
I do try to speak what I do know to people because even me saying "comme ci comme ça" has put a smile on peoples' faces. I do like to try.
But I will say it's also a relief I don't need to learn currently. And I do mean learn in a general sense. I learn better and faster when there's no pressure involved. I watch educational youtube videos all the time. How much I retain is probably small, but I still learn more having fun than not. Studying for tests in school was a miserable process.
(I barely made it out of college. I did well in high school only because I didn't have to study for most of it. That came easy for me. Except for Math. After Algebra was introduced, Math and I were no longer friends. And we had relationship issues before when multiplication was introduced. I still don't know 9x8 off the top of my head.)
Here you will find daily reblogs of fics for 30 different Pedro Pascal fictional characters (no RPF). There is smut here, so minors begone. 🔞
Reblogs can revive interest in a fic long after it’s been posted, and this blog aims to give just as much love to older fics as to the newly written ones spilling across our dashes right now. Also, great fics can sometimes go unnoticed for a variety of reasons, so I’ll always showcase any hidden gems I find.
Due to the volume of fics reblogged here, I can’t index everything, but I use a strict tagging system to help navigation. Below, you’ll find links to narrow down your search.
BY CHARACTER:
Clint Flood (Freaky Tales)
Comandante Veracruz (Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe)
Dave York (The Equalizer 2)
Dieter Bravo (The Bubble)
Din Djarin (The Mandalorian, The Book of Boba Fett, The Mandalorian and Grogu) – I am in love with this man, so his fic recs are over on my main blog, which is 99% dedicated to him (plus 1% tag games)
Shane ‘Dio’ Morrissey (NYPD Blue)
Ezra (Prospect)
Francisco ‘Catfish’ Morales (Triple Frontier)
Harry Castillo (Materialists)
Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels (Kingsman: The Golden Circle)
Javi Gutierrez (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent)
Javier Peña (Narcos)
Joel Miller (The Last of Us)
Lucien Flores (The Uninvited)
Marcus Acacius (Gladiator II)
Marcus Moreno (We Can Be Heroes)
Marcus Pike (The Mentalist)
Max Phillips (Bloodsucking Bastards)
Maxwell Lord (Wonder Woman 1984)
Mr Ben (SNL: Fancam Assembly)
Nathan Landry (The Good Wife)
Nico (House Comes With a Bird)
Oberyn Martell (Game of Thrones)
Pero Tovar (The Great Wall)
Reed Richards (The Fantastic Four: First Steps)
Silva (Strange Way of Life)
Ted Garcia (Eddington)
The Thief (Casillero del Diablo)
Tim Rockford (Merge Mansion)
Zach Wellison (Brothers & Sisters)
ADDITIONAL TAGS:
You can also search specifically for explicit content by adding the word ‘smut’ after the character name listed above, e.g. #joel miller smut.
Occasionally, if I think a fic is particularly angsty or fluffy, I may have tagged it like that too, so feel free to try #[character] angst and #[character] fluff in the same way. However, I can’t guarantee whether you’ll get any hits, as I haven’t reliably tagged angst and fluff.
MY FAVOURITES:
These fics in particular have left a lasting impression on me. They just have something extra special about them, and I urge you to appreciate them, too! I’ve been part of the Pedro fandom for several years now, so I hope you’ll consider my endorsements reliable.
BY THE WAY:
Yes, I read everything I reblog. I use a variety of fic-hunting methods, and I do thorough research to find the best stories (I have spreadsheets and everything). That said, most fics here are on the shorter side because I also work a full-time job and I’m a writer myself, which sadly limits my reading time.
This blog aims to be accepting, unproblematic, and conflict-free. If you do come across something that isn’t your cup of tea or was written by an author you find problematic, please just keep scrolling. Please also note the authors’ tags for their individual fics. You are responsible for what you consume.
I put a lot of effort into collating daily recs, so the more followers this blog gets, the more worthwhile my efforts feel, and the more exposure the stories on here get. So tell your friends! Please tap follow to enjoy the fics I’m showcasing here and reblog on any you’d like to support.
So I finally got organised over on my fic rec sideblog...
Behold the navigation!!!
I’ve been reblogging fics over there daily since December 2024, which means it’s already a decently sized PPCU fic collection – 447 individual stories so far.
Though I’m usually pretty quiet around here, today I’m making an impassioned plea to my fellow Pedro fans to spread the word about this rec blog’s existence.
Please help me to support more writers by following @djarins-cyare-recs and reblogging any fics that interest you.
And if you maybe wanna reblog this post so more people can find my recs, that would also be very much appreciated!
Thank youuu! 😘
Tagging always makes me nervous in the same way as phone calls do. It’s like demanding someone’s attention, and I’m really bad at doing that. But since this is about spreading love and community spirit, I figured I should reach out to some of the people whose fics I’ve featured on the rec blog so far, just in case you’d like to tell your friends about this lil archive I’m working on. Thank you all for writing such amazing fics 🙏🏻💖
Summary: In a world still haunted by old dangers, Joel and you have built a quiet life together on a farm outside Jackson. Between playful banter, shared chores, and tender moments by firelight, they hold tightly to the love they fought so hard to find.
Pairing: joel miller x fem!wife reader
Word count: 11k
Content warnings: domestic married life, farm life, soft joel, fluff, oral/p in v smut, flirting, banter, teasing, imagined reader in her 40s (but it's not mentioned), no y/n used, Joel lives and makes amends with Ellie and nothing bad ever happened, Ellie/Dina/JJ appearance
A/N: divider by @/saradika-graphics. I just want a domestic life with him. Okay, had to add...I am a weirdo and do research for my fics a lot. When looking at Google Maps for Jackson…I found out there is a historical cabin called Miller Cabin. So, this is where Joel and Reader live. Headcanon now. ^ middle photo is the real place.
Before the sky transformed into a vibrant blue-gray, Joel was already at the fence line. A loose board, likely knocked askew by an elk during the night, had him muttering softly under his breath. The steady thunk of the hammer against the wood echoed through the crisp morning air. His hands moved with the assured, unhurried grace that comes from a lifetime of building and dismantling things.
Chickens murmured and scratched in the dirt, feathers ruffling as they stirred from their roost. The old dog — a mangy mutt Joel always claimed wasn’t worth a damn, though he snuck scraps to it after every meal — stretched out on the porch in a patch of weak sunlight, one ear twitching at the sound of your footsteps.
You stepped outside, the chill biting at your skin through the worn fabric of Joel’s flannel you’d pulled on. In your hands, his coffee mug, a brown owl printed on the side, the glaze cracked, and a chip missing from the rim. The scent of the coffee curled up in the air between you.
“Joel?” you called, voice soft but carrying in the stillness.
He glanced up, a small, crooked smile flickering across his face. He gave you that look, the one that meant I hear you. I’m not done yet, as the hammer in his hand didn’t pause.
You sank into the rocking chair with a quiet sigh, setting the mug on the side table. The wood was rough and sun-bleached beneath your fingertips. Joel’s guitar rested nearby, strings catching the light like spider silk. You reached for it, the weight familiar and comforting.
A tentative strum sent a warm, uneven chord into the morning air. You tried to recall the chords Joel had shown you the week before, your hand stumbling over the frets. It was hard to focus when your eyes kept drifting back to him. The way his hands gripped the hammer, strong and steady, veins like old rope beneath sun-darkened skin. Those hands had carried you through storms, patched roofs, and pulled you close in the dark.
Even now, they distracted you.
You shook your head, chasing away the images of Joel’s hands—rough, scarred, so impossibly gentle when they held the guitar. But it was no use. The memory of his fingers moving over the frets, coaxing out soft, aching notes, settled stubbornly in your mind.
You exhaled, glancing down at your clumsy and uncertain hands. The guitar felt heavier now; its neck was too broad, and the strings bit into your fingertips like always.
Still, you tried.
Your fingers fumbled for the shape of the chord he’d shown you days before. A rough pluck, then another. The opening notes of Make You Feel My Love drifted thin and uneven, snagging on missed strings and hesitant pauses. It was a ghost of the song, fragile and unfinished, but it filled the quiet morning.
You grimaced at a wrong note, muttering under your breath, “Shit.”
From down by the fence line, the steady thud of hammering stopped.
A beat later, you heard the crunch of boots over the leaves, and Joel’s silhouette appeared leaning against the porch railing, his expression softened by the early light.
“Didn’t mean to distract you,” you teased, setting the guitar in your lap like it might hide the heat rising to your cheeks.
He huffed a quiet laugh, wiping his hands on a rag tucked into his back pocket. “Sounded like someone was tryin’ to murder that poor guitar.”
You shot him a look, but his grin was fond, the kind that melted you down to your bones.
“Here,” he said, crossing the porch and lowering himself beside you. His hands covered yours, guiding your fingers to the right frets. The scent of cedar and earth clung to him.
“Like this,” he murmured, the words threading through the still air. His thumb brushed the strings, and the note rang out clean and sweet.
You swallowed hard, your gaze fixed on his hands as they moved yours, calloused fingers coaxing the right shape out of yours. The steady warmth of his skin against yours made it impossible to concentrate, and you didn’t even try to pretend otherwise.
“Eyes up here, sweetheart,” Joel murmured, the pad of his finger hooking gently under your chin, tipping your face toward him.
Your eyes met his, heat rushing to your cheeks like you’d been caught doing something scandalous. “Sorry,” you muttered, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips.
Joel chuckled, the sound curling around you like the morning chill. “You make an old man like me feel downright irresistible,” he teased, a crooked grin settling.
“Joel,” you huffed, nudging his knee with yours, “you’re my husband.”
He shrugged, his thumb still tracing lazy circles against the back of your hand. “Yeah, well… still. You’re sittin’ here blushin’ over my hands like we’re a couple’a teenagers behind the bleachers. It’s weird.”
You laughed, the sound slipping out before you could stop it. “Can’t help it,” you said, leaning your shoulder against his. “You’ve got good hands. And I happen to like the way you use ‘em.”
He snorted at that, shaking his head, but his grin softened, his gaze lingering on you a little longer. “Keep talkin’ like that, darlin’, and I ain’t gonna be much help with your playin’.”
“Was hoping you’d say that,” you whispered loud enough for him to hear.
Joel groaned good-naturedly, leaning in to press a quick, scratchy kiss to your temple. “Troublemaker.”
“Alright, alright. Just help me,” you finally relented, the words slipping out on a breathy laugh.
Joel’s grin spread across his face, eyes crinkling at the corners. He reached for you without a word, his hands settling at your waist. You barely had time to react before he plucked you right out of the rocking chair like you weighed nothing.
A surprised little gasp escaped you, your hands catching at his shoulders. “Joel!”
He huffed a laugh, sinking into the chair with you cradled against him. The old wood creaked beneath his weight. His arm looped around your middle, pulling you close.
“Oh yeah, that’ll help me focus,” you snorted, wriggling slightly in his lap, the corner of your mouth twitching.
“Quit your squirmin’,” Joel said, his voice low and warm against your ear. “Or I’ll find a better way to distract you.”
You laughed, leaning back against his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your palm. The world felt quieter like this, the morning sun brushing over the porch, the faint cluck of chickens in the yard, and Joel’s familiar, steady presence wrapped around you.
“Now,” he said, reaching for the guitar and settling it across both your laps, “let’s see if we can’t keep you from murderin’ this poor thing.”
You grinned, your fingers brushing against his as you both found the strings. “If I mess up again, you can’t make fun of me.”
“No promises, darlin’,” Joel murmured, kissing your temple before guiding your hand to the first chord.
Joel’s hands covered yours, his calloused fingers guiding yours along the strings as the melody stumbled back to life. It was shaky, a little uneven, but better than it had sounded when you’d been struggling on your own.
“Just relax,” Joel murmured, his thumb brushing slow circles against the inside of your wrist. The warmth of his touch chased away some of the tension coiled in your shoulders.
“I’m tryin’,” you whispered, eyes fluttering shut for a second, savoring the quiet kindness in his touch.
Joel chuckled under his breath, his voice brushing the shell of your ear. “Maybe Ellie oughta be the one teachin’ you. You wouldn’t be actin’ all—”
“No!” you cut in too fast, your voice sharper than you meant. His brow arched, a crooked smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked down at you.
“Oh?” he drawled, teasing laced in every syllable.
You huffed, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “I like you teachin’ me,” you admitted, your voice softening, “I just… get a little distracted by how handsome you are.”
Joel snorted, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what he heard, but the pink dusting his ears betrayed him.
“Jesus, woman,” he muttered with a grin, nudging his nose against your temple. “You’re somethin’ else.”
You grinned, leaning into him, letting the moment settle around you like a favorite old quilt — frayed at the edges but warm where it counted. His hands tightened gently around yours, guiding your fingers back to the strings.
“Alright then,” he said, his voice rough and fond. “From the top. And quit makin’ googly eyes at me while we’re at it.”
“No promises,” you shot back, smiling as you let him pull you through the notes again, your fingers clumsy but eager.
Somehow, you managed to focus, obedient under Joel’s steady hands. He guided you through the chords, his touch gentle, patient in a way only he could be. The notes came softly and unevenly, but they came, and that was enough.
You’d never been able to play without singing. The words found their way out even when you barely knew the notes. Quiet at first, more of a hum than a song as it filled the space between you.
Joel let out a soft sigh, sounding more like contentment than exhaustion, and lowered his head until it rested against your shoulder.
The melody drifted over the porch, catching in the cool morning air. Your voice was unsteady, but Joel didn’t seem to care. His arm slipped around your waist, holding you closer, and you could feel the curve of his smile against your neck.
“You sound real pretty, sweetheart,” he murmured, like gravel warmed by the sun.
Your fingers faltered for a beat, your heart stuttering at the words. You turned your head slightly, your cheek brushing against his. “Only ‘cause you’re helpin’ me,” you whispered.
Joel chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest against your back. “Nah. You’d be somethin’ special with or without me.”
The porch, the rising sun, the whole vast, broken world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you — the old guitar balanced across your laps, your voices tangled together in a half-remembered tune, and Joel’s steady warmth anchoring you to the here and now.
You kept playing and singing, just for him.
And he stayed right there, head on your shoulder, like he belonged nowhere else.
“Quit fussin’, it’s just Ellie—” Joel started, his voice carrying that familiar mix of fondness and exasperation as he leaned against the doorframe, watching you pace the kitchen.
You glared at him over your shoulder, though there wasn’t an ounce of real heat behind it. “It’s not just Ellie,” you huffed, gesturing wildly with the dish towel. “It’s Ellie, Dina, JJ, Tommy, and Maria coming over. So no, I won’t quit fussing. I’m a host, Joel—”
Before you could finish your sentence, Joel crossed the room in a few unhurried strides, slipping his arms around your waist from behind. His chin came to rest on your shoulder, stubble scraping lightly against your skin, and he pressed a soft kiss to the side of your face.
“Sweetheart,” he murmured, “you’re actin’ like the goddamn Queen of England’s comin’ over.”
You sighed, your body instinctively leaning back into his, the tension bleeding from your shoulders a little at his familiar weight. His hands settled against your stomach, rough palms warm through the thin fabric of your shirt.
“It’s family,” he went on, swaying you both slightly in place. “Ain’t nobody comin’ here to judge the state of the house or whether you baked enough pies.”
You let out a reluctant laugh, dropping your head against his shoulder. “I just want it to be nice. It’s been a while since we had everyone here at once.”
Joel’s fingers gave your waist a gentle squeeze. “It’s already nice, darlin’. ‘Cause you’re here. And I’m here. And there’s gonna be food, bad jokes, and probably Ellie makin’ fun of me at some point.”
You grinned at that, turning in his arms to face him. “She is ruthless.”
“Downright cruel,” Joel agreed, his grin lazy and fond as he leaned in to brush his nose against yours. “Now, how ‘bout you let me finish settin’ the table while you stop rearrangin’ them biscuits for the third time?”
You rolled your eyes but didn’t protest when he stole another kiss, his thumb stroking lazy circles against your hip.
“Okay,” you breathed, the word soft as you finally let the biscuit drop from your fingers onto the plate. Joel squeezed your hip before releasing you, moving easily around the kitchen to help.
It didn’t take long for the two of you to fall into your old, familiar rhythm — him chopping vegetables while you stirred the gravy, the clatter of dishes and the low hum of the wood stove filling the space between you. Joel hummed under his breath, some old tune you half-recognized, and you found yourself relaxing into its simplicity.
But your ears kept flicking toward the window.
The sound came slowly at first—the faint, steady rhythm of hooves on hard-packed earth. Your pulse kicked up, just a notch, as it always did when they came down the road. It wasn’t far from Jackson to here, but every trip made your stomach twist in the same anxious knot. The world was quieter now, safer in some ways, but old habits died hard.
Joel must’ve heard it too, because he straightened up, wiping his hands on a dish towel as his gaze shifted toward the porch.
“They’re here,” he said, a crooked smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You moved to the door without thinking, pushing it open just as Ellie’s voice rang across the yard.
“Y’all better have food ready!” she hollered, perched high on her horse, Dina behind her. JJ was cradled in Dina’s arms, bundled tight against the cold, cheeks flushed pink from the wind.
The tightness in your chest eased at the sight of them.
Joel stepped up behind you, his hand settling on the small of your back like it always did. “There’s my girls,” he murmured, voice rough with fondness.
JJ spotted you and let out a happy little squeal, wriggling in Dina’s arms and waving a mittened hand. The sound made something warm and aching bloom in your chest.
“Hey, potato,” you called, waving back, already reaching for the spare quilt draped over the porch rail. “Bet you’re frozen solid, huh?”
“Mom’s been riding like a damn maniac,” Ellie grumbled, but she was grinning.
Dina laughed. “Kid loves it. Don’t let her fool you.”
Joel chuckled, heading down the steps to help them unload. “You all drive your old man to an early grave, you know that?”
“Too late for that,” Ellie shot back. Joel answered with a mock scowl, the kind meant to cover how goddamn pleased he was to see her in one piece, and it didn’t fool a soul.
You glanced past them, scanning the tree line, as if maybe Tommy and Maria would come riding up any second, but the road stayed empty.
“Where’s Tommy and Maria?” you asked, shifting JJ in your arms as he reached up, tiny gloved fingers curling around the collar of your shirt. You tucked the quilt closer around him, his nose cold against your neck.
Ellie swung her leg over her saddle, boots hitting the dirt with a soft thud. She exchanged a glance with Dina, something quiet passing between them before she spoke. “Y’know how it is,” she said, voice a little softer now, less sharp around the edges. “Maria’s got a town to run. Tommy wanted to stick around and help out.”
Joel’s jaw ticked, and you felt his hand brush against yours as he took JJ’s little mittens off, rubbing warmth into the boy’s tiny fingers. Neither of you needed it spelled out — it was code for they’re still working through it. The same way people said she’s just tired or he just needs space—small words for heavy things.
You exchanged a glance with Joel, and both nodded. It was the kind of shared understanding you didn’t need to speak aloud. You hoped they’d find their way back to each other. It was a hard world to stay soft in, harder still to hold on to the ones you loved.
Joel cleared his throat, shaking the tension off with a practiced ease. “Alright,” he said, jerking his head toward the house. “Let’s get inside. Food’s ready, and it ain’t gettin’ any hotter.”
JJ squealed at the sound of food, not knowing what the word meant, and you laughed, kissing the top of his head.
“Bet you made that cornbread I like,” Ellie teased, stepping beside Joel as they headed for the porch.
“Made two pans,” he grunted, side-eyeing her. “One for the rest of us, one for you, since you eat like a damn wolf.”
Ellie smirked. “Guess that makes you the old dog, huh?”
Joel shot her a look, but it was all warmth. Dina chuckled, and you cradled JJ a little tighter, feeling the old porch boards creak under your feet as the house filled with voices, laughter, and family.
After dinner, the lot of you settled into the living room, the last of the evening light giving way to the glow of the fireplace. The scent of woodsmoke clung to the air, mingling with the lingering warmth of cornbread and roasted vegetables.
JJ was perched happily in Joel’s lap, his tiny fingers tangled in the buttons of Joel’s flannel as he babbled nonsense words, occasionally punctuated by an enthusiastic slap to Joel’s chest. Joel bore it patiently, one big hand keeping the boy steady while the other cradled a half-full glass of whiskey.
Ellie was sprawled across the floor in front of the hearth, one leg stretched out, the other bent, picking at a loose thread on her sock. Dina sat cross-legged beside her, leaning into Ellie’s shoulder as they swapped stories about Jackson’s latest gossip. Who was sneaking out after curfew, which old timer claimed he’d seen a clicker near the old mill, and a petty feud over who had the nicest tomatoes this season.
“I swear to God,” Ellie snorted, tossing a peanut shell into the fire, “if I hear one more argument about whose chickens lay better eggs, I’m movin’ to another town.”
Dina grinned. “Sure you are. You barely leave your house unless there’s food involved.”
“I leave for important things,” Ellie shot back, smirking. “Food. Booze. Threatening people.”
Joel grunted, taking a slow sip from his glass. “Sounds like a hell of a role model for this kid,” he muttered, jostling JJ gently.
JJ let out a happy squeal, and Ellie pointed a finger at Joel without missing a beat. “You’re one to talk, old man. Kid’s already learning how to scowl just like you.”
“He’s got my charm, too,” Joel drawled, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied grin.
“God help us all,” you teased from where you sat curled up on the couch, a warm quilt draped over your lap.
Joel’s gaze flicked over to you, the firelight catching the soft curve of his smile. “You love it,” he said, voice quieter, meant just for you.
You smiled, eyes soft as they lingered on him, the flicker of firelight catching in the lines of his face. “’Course, I do,” you murmured, the words easy and sure, like saying I love you without needing to.
Leaning forward, you reached your arms out, palms open. Joel gave a mock sigh, shaking his head like it was the greatest burden in the world, though the warmth in his eyes betrayed him.
“Alright, c’mere, you little traitor,” Joel grumbled good-naturedly, lifting JJ from his lap.
The boy let out a delighted squeal, wriggling excitedly when Joel passed him over. His tiny hands immediately latched onto your collar, tugging with surprising strength as if you’d been gone for hours instead of minutes.
“Hey, little man,” you cooed, settling him against your hip as he giggled, his face nuzzling your neck. His skin was cool from sitting near the window, and he smelled like woodsmoke and cornbread crumbs.
“Already got him spoiled,” Joel teased, leaning back in his chair with a smug little grin. “Can’t stand to be five feet from you.”
“And yet you pretend like you’re not the same,” you shot back, raising a brow at him.
Ellie groaned dramatically from her spot by the hearth. “God, you two are worse than a couple of teenagers.”
“Don’t start, kiddo,” Joel replied without missing a beat, earning a laugh from Dina.
You just shook your head, rocking JJ gently in your arms as his giggles turned to soft, contented little sighs, his weight settling warm and steady against your chest. With the fire crackling low, the room bathed in soft, flickering light, and your family gathered close. You thought — this, right here, might be what peace feels like.
“Would you stop squirming?” you murmured, your voice thick with sleep. Your words slurred a little as you reached blindly across the bed, fingertips searching for him in the dark.
Joel grunted, the soft, rough sound you’d heard a thousand times — equal parts irritation and tenderness. He batted your hand away with little force, and when you opened your eyes, you found him sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand kneading at his knee.
The room was dim, and the dying fire cast a faint orange glow across the worn wooden floorboards. The wind rattled against the window panes, reminding you of the cold biting at the world outside.
Your expression softened, the haze of sleep falling away as you took him in. The tight line of his shoulders and thumb worked over the same spot as it might undo years of aches.
You shifted closer, the quilt dragging with you, and reached out to touch his shoulder, your hand warm against the chill of his skin. “C’mere,” you coaxed softly, your thumb brushing the curve of his neck.
“I’m fine,” Joel grumbled, though the rasp in his voice and the way he lingered beneath your touch said otherwise. “It’s just goddamn cold.”
“Stubborn,” you muttered under your breath, catching the faintest twitch of a smile from him.
Before he could argue, you gave his shoulder a nudge and tugged him gently back down. He sighed, a little huff of resistance that didn’t stick, and let you guide him onto his back.
“You could’ve cuddled up to me for some warmth, y’know,” you teased, shifting so you could settle against him, one leg draping over his, careful of the knee you knew gave him hell.
“Mmm,” Joel grunted, but he didn’t move away. His arm slipped around your waist, fingers curling at the curve of your hip, holding you like he always did.
You reached for the salve on the nightstand, the little tin cold against your fingers, and without a word, you pulled back the covers just enough to bare his knee. The scars there were old, pale against his skin, but you knew them like you knew the lines of his face.
He hissed softly when your fingers brushed over the tender spot.
“Easy,” you murmured, working the salve in slow, practiced circles. The scent of eucalyptus and pine filled the space between you. “I got you.”
Joel let out a long, quiet sigh, the tension leaving his shoulders as he closed his eyes.
“Dunno what I’d do without you,” he muttered.
“Good thing you’ll never have to find out,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss his shoulder.
Outside, the wind rattled against the side of the house, making the windowpane shudder in its frame. You glanced back at it instinctively.
“Don’t worry about it,” Joel whispered, his version of a promise. You knew that tone — it meant he’d be out there first thing in the morning with a hammer in hand, probably cursing under his breath the whole time.
You nodded, stifling a yawn behind your hand, then reached over him to tuck the tin of salve back into the nightstand drawer. The quilt slipped down your shoulder, cool air brushing your skin. You moved to pull away, but Joel’s hand shot out, catching you by the wrist.
You paused, hovering above him, a sleepy chuckle slipping from your lips. “What?”
Joel didn’t answer right away. His gaze drifted from your face down to where the neckline of your nightgown had dipped, a bit of cleavage visible in the low light.
“Just admirin’ the view,” he drawled, one brow lifting, that unmistakable smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You huffed a laugh, rolling your eyes as you swatted lightly at his chest. “Old man,” you teased, but there was no bite.
“Hey,” Joel murmured, catching your hand in his again, holding it against his chest. His voice softened. “Lucky old man.”
Your smile returned, slower this time. You kissed him softly before pulling the quilt around you both.
“Go to sleep, Miller,” you whispered against his lips.
Joel let out a low, contented grunt, sinking deeper into the mattress as his arm tightened around your waist, pulling you snug against him. The moonlight’s glow painted soft silver lines across the room, flickering over the weathered planes of his face.
“Can’t sleep,” he whispered, voice rough and lazy, “when I’ve got a beautiful wife lyin’ next to me.”
You huffed a quiet laugh, the sound small and fond in the hush of the room. You opened your mouth to toss some teasing remark back, but the words caught in your throat when Joel’s hand slid lower, settling at the curve of your butt, his palm warm through the thin fabric of your nightgown.
Your breath hitched, eyes fluttering shut at the easy, familiar touch.
“One who takes care of me,” Joel went on, voice barely above a whisper now, “even when I’m too damn stubborn to deserve it.”
Your heart tugged at that, the quiet sincerity in his words weaving through your chest like thread. You shifted, lifting yourself just enough to lean over him, one hand brushing through the soft, graying hair at his temple.
He tilted his face toward you instinctively, and you pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the scar that cut across the bridge of his nose. The old wound was a rough line beneath your lips, a story you didn’t need retold because you already knew it by heart.
Joel let out a breath, his hand flexing against your hip. “You always do that,” he murmured, a little wonder in his voice.
“Do what?” you asked softly, resting your forehead against his.
“Kiss that ugly thing,” he said, the faintest trace of a smile playing at his lips.
You smiled too, fingers tracing down the side of his face. “Ain’t ugly to me.”
The wind rattled against the window again, and Joel’s other hand cradled the back of your head, holding you there like he couldn’t quite bear to let go.
You closed your eyes, your words catching in your throat, settling somewhere deeper than speech. You kissed him again, slow and lingering, savoring the taste of him, the scrape of his stubble, the warmth of his breath against your skin.
“Gettin’ me all warm now, darlin’,” Joel rumbled against your lips, that lazy grin you could feel more than see.
You smiled, dragging your teeth lightly over his bottom lip before pulling back just enough to whisper, “Maybe that was the plan.”
Your hands roamed up his chest, fingers threading through the soft hair dusting his skin, the heat of him under your palms chasing away the last of the chill. His muscles tensed under your touch, a low sound catching in his throat.
“That so?” he muttered, and before you could answer, his hand slid down, fingers digging roughly into the curve of your ass. The sudden squeeze made you gasp, your body arching into him, a spark of arousal pooling low and thick between your thighs.
“Joel,” you breathed, as his mouth moved to your jaw, then lower — hot, wet kisses trailing down your throat, teeth grazing just enough to leave your skin tingling.
In one easy motion, he rolled you onto your back, settling between your legs, his weight delicious and solid above you. His mouth found your collarbone, where the strap of your nightgown had slipped down, and he followed it with his lips, pressing hot kisses to every inch of exposed skin.
“Oh, fuck, Joel,” you whimpered, your hips shifting restlessly beneath him, desperate for more.
That earned you a smirk, the kind that made your stomach flip. “Such a dirty mouth,” he teased, voice rough against your skin. “Oughta put it to good use.”
He kept kissing lower, his stubble scraping a path down your chest as his hands found the straps of your nightgown, tugging them down your shoulders, dragging the thin fabric with agonizing slowness.
“But,” Joel murmured, his mouth trailing over the swell of your breast, “I wanna make my beautiful wife feel good first.” His gaze flicked up, locking with yours filled with warmth and hunger.
You bit your bottom lip, a whimper catching in your throat, your body already trembling beneath him. “Joel… please,” you whispered, the ache inside you sharp and sweet.
He groaned softly at that, clearly savoring the way you begged for him. “Mmm, what a good girl,” he rasped, his breath hot against your sensitive skin as he kissed over one nipple, his hand kneading the other, rough palms and gentle touches making you shudder.
“Don’t have to beg, honey,” he murmured. “Just relax… let me take care of you. You’ve earned it.”
Joel’s mouth drifted lower, leaving a heated trail of kisses from the swell of your breast to the edge of your nightgown. His stubble scraped over your skin, a delicious contrast to the warmth of his lips. You shivered beneath him, your fingers threading into his hair, clinging just enough to make him smirk against your skin.
Without a word, he shifted down, settling between your legs. His big hands slid up your thighs, rough palms coaxing the nightgown higher, the fabric bunching around your hips until you felt the cool air of the room kiss against your bare skin.
Joel stilled momentarily, his gaze locking on the sight of you lying open for him. A low, guttural groan rumbled from his chest, his thumb grazing along the soft inside of your thigh.
“Fuck,” he rasped, his voice rough. “So goddamn pretty.”
You let out a soft whimper, your hips tilting instinctively toward his touch.
His hands spread you open with practiced, careful ease, thumbs pressing into your skin, the pressure just enough to make your breath hitch. Joel leaned in, pressing a slow, unhurried kiss to the top of your pussy, the heat of his mouth making you jolt.
“Been thinkin’ about this all damn day,” he groaned against you, his breath hot, the gravel in his voice sending a shiver down your spine. “You always get me like this.”
Your fingers tightened in his hair as he kissed lower, teasing, taking his time like he wasn’t in any rush to let you go. His tongue flicked out, a light, maddening touch that had your thighs trembling around him.
“Joel—” you gasped, your head tipping back into the pillows.
He chuckled, and glanced up at you from between your legs, his eyes heavy-lidded and hungry. “Patience. Gonna take my time with you tonight.” His hands smoothed over your thighs, thumbs pressing gently into your skin.
You barely managed a nod, your fingers threading into his hair, the strands warm and soft under your touch.
Then Joel’s mouth was on you again. His tongue moved with maddening precision, every flick and stroke drawing out a fresh wave of heat that made your back arch and your breath break apart. He wasn’t in any rush, savoring every sound you made, every tremble in your thighs, the way your hands tightened in his hair when you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Christ,” you gasped, a soft, helpless sound you didn’t mean to make.
Joel’s grip on your hips tightened, holding you steady as he looked up at you again, his lips slick and curved in the faintest smirk. “That’s it, honey,” he rasped. “Lemme hear you.”
Joel’s mouth never relented, his tongue and lips working you open with devastating precision. His hands gripped your thighs, thumbs stroking soft, soothing circles against your skin even as he kept you pinned in place. Every flick of his tongue, every careful pull of his lips sent another pulse of heat through you, winding you tighter and tighter until you felt like you might come apart.
And then you did.
Your body arched, a choked cry slipping from your lips as release crashed over you. Joel groaned against you, the low, rough sound sending another shiver through your spent body. He didn’t stop — his mouth gentler now, but still savoring you, lapping up every last tremble, every aftershock, until you were breathless, your voice wrecked from the way you gasped his name.
“Joel… please,” you managed between shallow breaths, your fingers threading through his hair, tugging lightly as the overstimulation made your thighs twitch around him. “I can’t—”
He chuckled, a satisfied sound that rumbled against your skin. Pressing a tender kiss to the inside of your thigh, then another a little higher, his scruffy beard grazing your sensitive skin in a way that made you shudder.
“Alright, alright,” he murmured, voice rough and full of affection. “Wrecked you good, huh?”
You let out a shaky laugh, your chest still heaving, as he kissed his way up the length of your body, savoring every inch like it mattered. When he finally reached your mouth, he paused, cradling your jaw as his thumb brushed your cheek.
Joel kissed you, deep and warm, tasting you and lingering with want.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, both of you catching your breath in the hush of the room.
“Love seein’ you like that,” he whispered, his thumb tracing your bottom lip. “Ain’t never get tired of it.”
You smiled, fingers still tangled in his hair, your touch gentle, affectionate even in your haze of want. “Wanna make you feel good,” you whispered, your voice shaky but sure.
Joel let out a soft groan, the sound thick with need. His lips brushing your jaw, he lowered them to the sensitive spot beneath your ear. “You do, sweetheart,” he murmured against your skin, his breath hot and uneven. Every damn time.”
His hand cupped your cheek, holding you there for a beat, his thumb stroking over your flushed skin. His voice dropped, rough and tender all at once. “Gonna let me have you now?”
“Yes,” you gasped, your body arching toward him, trembling with a fresh wave of need.
That was all he needed.
Joel wasted no time, rising onto his knees, shoving his boxers down just enough to free himself. His cock was hard, thick and already leaking, and your mouth watered at the sight of him. He stroked a hand down himself, eyes locked on yours, watching the way you shivered beneath him.
“Been thinkin’ about this since dinner,” he confessed in a gravelly murmur, a small, crooked smile tugging at his lips.
You bit your lip, reaching for him, your touch making him hiss through his teeth. “Then stop takin’ your time, Miller.”
Joel chuckled, leaning down to steal a slow, heated kiss, his hand sliding between your thighs, parting you with the same care he always took.
“You got me,” he whispered, lining himself up, the head of his cock nudging against you. “Always.”
Joel pushed the tip inside with slow, steady pressure, and the moment he breached you, both of you let out a low, broken moan. The stretch, the heat, the sheer ache of having him fill you made your head fall back against the pillows, your fingers gripping at his shoulders, needing something to hold onto.
“Oh, Joel,” you whimpered, your voice catching on the way your body opened for him, already trembling with the desperate need for more.
He groaned at the sound, leaning over you, his lips finding your throat in a series of open-mouthed kisses. His stubble scraped your sensitive skin, a rough contrast to the softness of his mouth as he murmured your name against your neck.
“Goddamn… you feel so good,” he rasped, his voice thick with hunger and something deeper beneath it. Something that sounded a little like awe.
His hands slid down your sides before guiding your legs around his waist. His touch was unhurried but sure, as if he were fitting you exactly where you belonged. You locked your ankles at the small of his back, and he let out a shaky breath, bracing one hand beside your head while the other gripped your thigh.
“Hold on to me,” Joel muttered, his voice a low promise as he pushed in deeper, inch by inch, until he was buried to the hilt, the stretch making your body arch into his.
A gasp tore from your lips, your nails digging into his back. Joel cursed under his breath, his lips brushing your ear. “That’s it, honey. Just like that.”
His body blanketed yours, his skin hot and slick against yours. Joel’s hand slid up your side, rough fingers trailing over your ribs before cupping your breast, his palm warm as he kneaded the soft flesh. His thumb brushed over your nipple, teasing it into a tight peak before rolling it between his fingers, and the jolt of sensation made you arch into him.
His hips rocked against yours, deep strokes that filled you perfectly, each one hitting that spot that made your toes curl. It wasn’t rushed — it never was with him. Joel fucked like a man who meant every movement, like he could live in the moment forever if you let him.
A breathy moan slipped from your lips, your head tipping back as pleasure coiled tight in your belly, building with every unrelenting, perfect thrust.
“Feels so good,” you panted, your voice breaking on the words as his fingers tugged and toyed with your nipple. Your thighs clenched around his waist, your hands gripping his shoulders, nails digging into sun-warmed skin.
Joel groaned low in his throat, ducking his head to press his mouth to your collarbone, his stubble scraping deliciously against your skin. “Yeah? Can feel you squeezin’ me. So fuckin’ perfect.”
Sometimes you wished he could stay like this, buried deep inside you, his body over yours, the world outside forgotten.
You let the thought slip past your lips in a ragged whisper, “Wanna keep you like this… always.”
Joel’s pace stuttered briefly, a rough, wrecked sound leaving him before his mouth found yours. The kiss was all heat and tenderness, tongues tangling as his hand cradled your jaw, his thumb brushing your cheek.
“C’mon, sweetheart,” Joel rasped, breath hot against your ear. “Wanna feel you make a mess on my cock.”
The words hit you like a jolt, a needy moan slipping from your lips as you buried your face against his neck, your teeth grazing his skin. Joel groaned at the sensation, his hand sliding down from your jaw, fingers trailing over your flushed, sweat-slick skin before settling between your legs.
His thumb found your clit, circling maddening patterns in time with the steady, deep thrust of his hips. The friction sent sharp sparks through your nerves, the pleasure building too fast, too much, but you didn’t want him to stop.
“Oh, Joel… fuck,” you gasped, your voice breaking, your whole body trembling beneath him.
Joel smirked against your shoulder, feeling the way your thighs tightened around his waist, how you clung to him like you might fall apart if he let go. His gaze stayed on you, drinking in every flicker of pleasure that crossed your face, the way your lips parted in a soft, helpless cry.
“Yeah, that’s it,” he growled, his thumb pressing just a little harder, his cock driving deep and slow. “Let go for me. Lemme see you.”
Your fingers dug into his back, nails leaving faint crescents in his skin as your release finally tore through you, your body arching into his. A raw, breathless sound escaped you — a mix of his name, a gasp, and a whimper.
Joel’s pace slowed, his hand steady on your hip as he rode you through it, watching you fall apart like it was the best thing he’d ever seen. “Atta girl,” he murmured, his thumb easing up but never leaving you entirely. “Just like that. So goddamn beautiful when you come for me.”
Your chest heaved, the aftershocks making you shiver as you clung to him, the warmth of his body anchoring you to the here and now.
Joel’s lips brushed your temple, his breath hot and ragged against your hair as he slowed, his hips stuttering. He started to pull out, muscles tense like he was holding back, when your eyes flew open and your hand shot out, catching his wrist in a firm, desperate grip.
“No,” you breathed, voice trembling as you looked up at him, your gaze locking on his. “Come inside me.”
Joel’s breath hitched, his jaw tightening as his brow knitted. His eyes searched yours as a storm of desire, hesitation, and tenderness flickered across his face.
“Sweetheart—” he started, his voice rough and uncertain in that way he rarely showed.
“Please,” you whimpered, your legs tightening around his hips, clenching around him as if your body could keep him there on its own. Your fingers traced up his arm, over the tense line of his shoulder, to cradle his face.
Joel groaned, the sound breaking low and deep in his throat, his eyes fluttering shut like he didn’t stand a chance against you. “Christ, honey…”
His restraint shattered.
He rocked back into you with a sharp, shuddering thrust, burying himself to the hilt, and your body welcomed him like it was made for it. His hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as his release hit, his whole body trembling as he spilled inside you.
You felt him tense, felt the warmth flood through you, and the sound he made — a low, wrecked groan into the crook of your neck — left you almost desperate for him again.
“Fuck,” Joel whispered against your skin, his breath uneven, his hold on you unyielding. He stayed buried deep, like he couldn’t bear the space between you.
You pressed your lips to his temple, your fingers gently carding through his hair as you both came down, your bodies still tangled together.
Eventually, Joel moved to lie beside you, one arm draped heavy and warm across your stomach, his fingers absentmindedly tracing lazy circles against your damp skin.
Your chest still rose and fell in uneven breaths, the aftershocks of sex lingering in the ache of your muscles and the pleasant haze behind your eyes. His scruffy cheek brushed your shoulder as he shifted closer, pressing a kiss beneath your collarbone.
You let your fingers card through his hair, tugging gently at the damp strands. Joel hummed low in his throat, that rumbling sound you loved, and nestled his face against your neck like he was trying to soak up every last trace of you.
“Hell of a way to warm a man up,” he said, voice thick and hoarse but threaded through with a rare, unguarded sweetness.
You smiled, your eyes closed, and the ache in your limbs was welcomed. “Told you it was the plan,” you whispered, your palm sliding over his broad back, the ridges of old scars familiar beneath your touch.
Joel huffed a quiet, contented laugh, his hand smoothing over your hip and pulling you impossibly closer. The quilt had slipped to your waist, the cool air brushing against overheated skin.
Outside, the wind had quieted, leaving the night still and heavy with the scent of rain in the distance. The world beyond the walls felt far away. The steady beat of Joel’s heart beneath your palm, and the deep, bone-deep peace that followed a storm.
He shifted enough to press another kiss to your temple, lingering there like he wasn’t ready to let the moment go.
“Love you,” Joel murmured so softly it was barely a sound, his lips brushing your skin as the words slipped out.
You didn’t say it back. You didn’t have to. Instead, you turned your face to his, caught his mouth in a tender, unhurried kiss, and let him feel it.
And in the quiet, with nothing but the steady rise and fall of your breathing, Joel smiled against your lips.
The morning had passed in the slow, easy rhythm you’d come to love. Feeding the chickens as the sun climbed over the hills, collecting a handful of stubborn eggs from beneath their nesting boxes, and brushing down the two horses you and Joel had kept since settling on the farm.
Dusty and Apollo — named with Ellie’s enthusiastic help — shifted lazily in their stalls, the scent of hay and earth hanging thick in the air. The old barn was cool despite the warmth rising outside, beams of sunlight slipping through the weathered slats to stripe the floor in soft gold.
“There you are, darlin’,” Joel’s voice carried through the space, low and familiar, like a song you knew by heart. You glanced up to see him wiping his hands on his jeans as he stepped into the barn, a crooked little grin on his face.
You offered him a smile, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face. “That window give you any trouble?” you asked, lifting a brow in challenge.
Joel huffed, shaking his head as he came closer. “Please. I've been fixin’ worse than that since before you were walkin’.”
You snorted, though warmth bloomed in your chest at the easy way he teased you. He reached for your hand, the one still holding the brush, his calloused palm covering yours. Without a word, he guided your stroke lower along Dusty’s dark coat.
“Start from the bottom,” Joel said, his voice soft as his thumb brushed your knuckles. “Work your way up. Feels better for ‘em.”
You glanced at him, catching his gaze on your face before flicking back to the horse. The years had etched themselves into his skin, but his eyes — warm and impossibly kind when he let you see them — made your heart flutter.
“Gentler, too,” Joel added, his lips curving into a fond smile as he watched you follow his lead.
You bit back a grin. “I can be gentle.”
“Oh, I know you can,” he drawled, a glint of something playful in his voice. “Just like teasin’ you about it.”
You rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder against his as you worked the brush through Dusty’s coat. Joel let out a low chuckle, the sound rumbling deep in his chest, but said nothing, content to fall into the quiet rhythm of the barn. The scrape of a hoof against straw, the muted clatter of chickens pecking outside, the steady rise of warmth as the morning stretched on.
After a while, you glanced up at him, brushing a hand down Apollo’s nose as the big chestnut gelding nuzzled against your palm. “Ellie told me someone in Jackson’s has coffee to trade.”
Joel grunted, hauling a bundle of hay over to Dusty’s stall. “Yeah? What they askin’ for?”
You smirked, watching him out of the corner of your eye. “Chickens.”
He paused mid-toss, brow arching. “How many?”
“Four.”
Joel straightened up, scoffing under his breath. “Christ. Four chickens? What kinda coffee we talkin’ here? Magic beans?”
You bit back a laugh, moving to stroke Apollo’s flank. “Don’t act like you’re not tempted. We both turn into miserable assholes without it.”
Joel gave you a sidelong look, a crooked grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Speak for yourself, sweetheart. I’m delightful.”
You snorted. “Sure you are. Real ray of sunshine before your first cup.”
He stepped closer, hand reaching out to tug playfully at the loose tie of your braid. “If I give up four chickens for some half-assed coffee, it better be strong enough to put hair back on my head.”
“Too late for that,” you teased, grinning as you reached up to smooth a hand over his graying hair.
Joel chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re real funny, you know that?”
“I try,” you shot back, leaning in to brush a quick, affectionate kiss to his cheek before moving toward the feed bins. “We’ll talk about it later. You know you’re gonna cave.”
“Might,” Joel muttered, grabbing another flake of hay. “But you’re pluckin’ the damn birds.”
“Deal.”
“C’mon,” you murmured, brushing hay from your hands. The sun hung lower now, casting long golden streaks through the slats in the barn. “We’ve worked hard enough for one day.”
Joel looked at you, one corner of his mouth tipping up in that slow, familiar way, and gave a slight nod. Without a word, he reached out, his calloused hand slipping easily into yours.
Neither of you spoke as you walked back toward the house, the worn path beneath your boots soft with dust, the last of the chickens clucking softly in the yard. The quiet between you was filled with little touches. Joel’s thumb brushed over the back of your hand. Your shoulder bumping his. The occasional glance traded like secrets.
Inside, the house smelled faintly of woodsmoke and something sweet from the pie you had made earlier. You slipped into the kitchen while Joel stoked the fire, grabbing ingredients with practiced ease.
“Hope you washed up good,” you teased, glancing over your shoulder as he came to stand beside you, sleeves rolled up, hair mussed from the wind.
Joel snorted, holding his hands up. “Clean as I’m gonna get,” he drawled, though you caught the faint smirk tugging at his lips.
“Uh-huh.” You reached for his wrist, pulling his hand toward you to inspect it like you might catch a stray bit of dirt. “Hmm. Debatable.”
He stepped in close, hand slipping to your waist, his voice dropping low. “You wanna check me head to toe, darlin’, just say the word.”
You laughed, swatting at his chest with the dish towel, but your heart ached a little at the easy, worn-in affection of it all of having him here, cooking dinner like any other ordinary night in a world that hadn’t offered many of those.
“Maybe later,” you whispered, giving him a smile that held a little more than teasing.
Joel’s gaze lingered on yours a moment longer, something quiet and certain in it, before he turned to start chopping vegetables. The two of you moved around the kitchen with ease.
After dinner, your mind was already drifting toward a hot bath and a quiet night in bed — a book in your hands, Joel’s arm heavy around your waist, the world kept at bay. You started up the stairs, stretching your arms above your head, when a warm, calloused hand caught you gently by the wrist.
“C’mere,” Joel said, his voice a little rough, but soft in that way he saved just for you.
You turned, one brow lifting, a smile tugging at your lips as you took in the look on his face — part mischievous, part tender, eyes shining in the room's low light. “What’s that look for?”
He didn’t answer; he just tilted his head slightly. “Just… c’mere.”
Curiosity bloomed in your chest as you let him tug you along, following him toward the living room. The fire there burned low, casting warm, flickering light across the old wood floor. Joel moved to the corner, crouching by the old record player he’d scavenged years back on some long-forgotten patrol. The thing had scratches on the wood and a crack in the lid, but it still functioned properly.
A worn copy of Otis Redding’s These Arms Of Mine sat beside it, the vinyl already resting in place.
“What’s going on?” you asked, your brow furrowing as he dropped the needle. The soft, familiar crackle filled the room before the first notes hummed through the air.
Joel didn’t say a word. He just turned to you, held out a hand, and waited.
Your heart gave one of those quiet, aching stutters in your chest, and you crossed the room without thinking, slipping your hand into his.
His other hand settled at your waist, pulling you close, your bodies fitting together. The music wrapped around you both, the gentle sway of the melody guiding your steps as Joel led you in a slow, unhurried dance.
His thumb traced soft circles at the small of your back, his breath warm against your temple. You closed your eyes, your head resting against his chest, the steady beat of his heart syncing with the song's rhythm. The world outside the house, the years of danger and loss, all slipped away in the quiet safety of his arms.
“You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” Joel said against your hair, his voice a little hoarse, like maybe it caught in his throat before it made it out.
You smiled, tilting your face up to his. “Takes one to know one, Miller.”
He chuckled before kissing your forehead.
“Since someone’s in a good mood—” you started, a teasing lilt in your voice.
Joel shook his head before you could finish, a knowing grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Ain’t happenin’, sweetheart.”
“C’mon,” you coaxed, tipping your head back to look up at him, eyes shining with mock-innocence. “Just once. Please?”
“I’m too old for that shit,” Joel drawled, though his hands stayed firm at your waist, his thumb brushing soft circles against your hip. “You try jumpin’ on me, we’ll both be flat on our asses before you even leave the ground.”
You pouted, leaning into him, arms looping around his neck. “Alright, fine,” you sighed dramatically, though the smile tugging at your lips gave you away. “But a woman can dream.”
Joel huffed a laugh, shaking his head as he dipped his face close, his stubble scratching against your cheek. “You keep dreamin’,” he said, his voice teasing, but full of affection. “Ain’t no way I’m recreatin’ some damn Dirty Dancing scene.”
You grinned, swaying in his arms as the record crackled on. “You’re no fun.”
“Mm,” Joel smirked, pulling you closer, his hand sliding down to the small of your back. “That so? I seem to recall you weren’t complainin’ about my kind of fun last night.”
Heat bloomed in your cheeks as you laughed, pressing your forehead to his chest. “Point taken.”
He hummed, content. The two of you were still swaying long after the song faded out, the world narrowed down to the steady beat of his heart and the warmth of his arms around you.
The ride to Jackson wasn’t far. Just a few miles of winding trail through dense trees and open fields, but it never felt easy. Even with Joel at your side, the moment you crossed beyond the fence line of your land, a familiar unease crept in like a second skin.
You rode atop Dusty, his ears flicking with every distant sound, while Joel kept pace beside you on Apollo, his rifle slung over one shoulder. The morning air was crisp, carrying the scent of damp earth and pine. The only sound was the soft clop of hooves against the dirt path and the occasional rustle of wind through the trees.
It was always quiet on these rides — a silence born not from peace, but necessity. Both of you scanning the tree line, eyes flicking to the shadows, muscles tensed in that old, familiar way you never quite unlearned.
Joel rode like a man still expecting the worst. He never admitted it or spoke it aloud, but you saw it in the tight set of his jaw, how his broad shoulders stayed stiff beneath his jacket, how his gaze never stopped moving — left, right, behind, and always watching, counting.
He hated leaving the farm. Hated stepping away from the safety of what you'd built together. But he wouldn’t leave you to ride in alone either. Not a chance in hell.
You nudged Dusty a little closer, your knee brushing his for a fleeting second. Joel glanced over, and for a beat, his face softened. That quiet look that only ever seemed meant for you. A flicker of warmth in otherwise storm-weathered eyes.
“Should be an easy ride,” he muttered, though you both knew it wasn’t about the distance.
You gave a small nod, your fingers tightening around the reins. “It better be,” you replied, a wry smile tugging at your lips.
He snorted, a sound more habit than humor, but the tension in his shoulders eased by a hair.
Eventually, Jackson's worn timber walls came into view, rising from the trees like a promise of safety. Smoke drifted from chimneys, the faint clang of metal on metal carried on the wind, and the murmur of life happening just out of sight.
You and Joel approached the gates, the patrolmen up top giving curt, familiar nods as you passed beneath. One of them tipped his hat, and Joel returned it with a lift of his hand. His expression was unreadable, but his posture was a touch looser than it had been on the trail.
Joel swung down from Apollo with practiced ease, boots hitting the packed dirt with a soft thud. He tied the reins to a post, his movements quick and efficient, like he couldn’t shed the tension of the ride fast enough. Before you could swing your leg to dismount, he was already there, one hand steadying Dusty’s bridle while the other reached up for you.
“C’mere,” he said, his voice low but roughened by the morning’s quiet.
You let him help you down, your hands briefly finding his shoulders as his firm grip circled your waist. When your boots touched the ground, you muttered, “Thank you,” a small smile tugging at your lips.
He gave a soft grunt, the corner of his mouth twitching as his hands lingered at your waist a beat longer than necessary. “Course, darlin’.”
You reached to brush a bit of dust off your thigh, suddenly remembering. “Dammit, I forgot—”
Joel cut you off with a slight shake of his head, already anticipating you. “I remembered,” he said, a faint grin pulling at his mouth as he tipped his head toward the stables. “Told Ellie last time she was by to bring four chickens back for that damn coffee trade.”
You huffed a laugh, leaning closer as you stepped beside him. “You’re a good husband, Miller.”
Joel slung an arm loosely around your shoulders as you made your way toward the town square, the scent of fresh bread and woodsmoke filling the air around you.
The trade went through without much trouble — four chickens handed over, a large sack of precious coffee beans in return — though Joel grumbled about it the whole damn time.
“Can’t believe we’re givin’ up good layers for this,” he muttered, eyeing the beans like they might disappear before he could get them home.
You just chuckled, shaking your head in quiet amusement as you looped your arm through his, steering him toward the rest of your errands. “You’ll be singin’ a different tune when you’ve got a hot cup in your hands tomorrow morning.”
Joel grunted, but the corner of his mouth twitched, the hint of a smile breaking through his usual gruffness.
The two of you spent the next hour wandering Jackson’s main street, gathering what you needed — extra nails from the smithy, a spool of thread from Susan’s store, dried herbs Dina swore would help settle JJ’s fussy nights.
By the time you stepped into the dining hall, the warmth from the fire inside wrapped around you like an old quilt. The scent of stew lingered in the air, mixing with fresh bread and something sweet baking in the back.
“Heard from Ellie y’all were comin’ into town,” a familiar voice called, and you looked up to see Tommy striding over, a wide grin splitting his face.
Joel met him halfway, the two men pulling each other into a rough, back-patting hug.
“Tommy,” Joel grunted, patting his brother’s back twice before stepping back, though the warmth in his eyes lingered.
You smiled, watching the easy way they fell into step together. It wasn’t always like this between them, but lately, it was better. Softer around the edges.
“Good to see you,” you said, squeezing Tommy’s arm.
“You too,” Tommy grinned. “C’mon, Maria’s around here somewhere. And Ellie’s been talkin’ about that coffee since sunrise.”
Joel rolled his eyes with a huff, but his hand brushed against yours as he moved to follow Tommy. You laced your fingers with his without a word, and Joel didn’t let go.
It was simple. Easy. Cozy in a way you never took for granted anymore — a full meal, the warmth of good company, and the quiet comfort of knowing you belonged to this small, stubborn patch of world.
By the time you, Joel, Tommy, and Maria stepped out of the dining hall, the evening light had faded to a dusky gold. The air had cooled, lanterns flickered along the street, casting soft pools of light as folks made their way home for the night.
“Y’all should stay here,” Tommy offered, leaning casually against the porch rail with a hopeful grin. “We’ve still got that extra room fixed up. Warm bed, decent mattress. Better than ridin’ back in the dark.”
Maria gave a slight nod, folding her arms, her gaze slipping between you and Joel. “Wouldn’t hurt to stay in town now and then.”
Joel shifted his weight, his hand instinctively finding the small of your back. “Nah,” he said, his voice low but kind. “We need to get back. Y’know I don’t like leavin’ the farm alone too long.”
You gave a soft smile, leaning a little into his side. “Yeah. It’s a quick ride. We’ll be fine.”
There was a brief pause where you could feel unspoken words hanging in the air. Tommy let out a breath, shaking his head like he knew better than to push. Maria’s mouth twitched in reluctant amusement.
“Stubborn as ever,” Tommy muttered, a grin tugging at his lips.
Joel gave him a look — half fond, half warning. “Runs in the family.”
That earned a quiet laugh from Maria, who stepped forward to press a hand to your arm. “You two be careful.”
“Always,” you promised with a soft squeeze of her hand.
Joel tipped his chin at Tommy. “We’ll be by the end of next week with those tools you wanted.”
Tommy clapped a hand to his brother’s shoulder. “I’ll hold you to it.”
You and Joel made your way toward the horses, the quiet hum of Jackson winding down behind you. Lanterns glowed in windows, soft voices fading as folks headed home, and the cool night air settled gently against your skin. The path back to the farm stretched ahead.
You caught Joel squinting as he adjusted Apollo’s reins, his brow furrowed, eyes narrowing toward the shadowed trail beyond the gate.
“Should’ve worn your glasses,” you said, a grin tugging at your lips.
Joel huffed, shooting you a look as he swung into the saddle. “Don’t need glasses. It’s dark.”
You mounted Dusty, leaning slightly in your saddle to smirk at him. “That why you’re squintin’ like an old man tryin’ to read fine print?”
Joel’s glare wasn’t the least convincing. “Keep talkin’, woman,” he grumbled, though his voice was thick with amusement. “See how far that gets you.”
“Probably about halfway home before you admit I’m right,” you teased, nudging Dusty forward with a light kick.
Joel clicked his tongue at Apollo, riding up alongside you, his posture loose now, some of the tension from earlier replaced by the easy banter between you.
“You’re lucky I like you,” he muttered, giving your reins a playful tug as he passed.
You grinned into the darkness, heart warm in your chest. “I know.”
Together, you rode out into the night, the stars scattered above like pinpricks in velvet, the world around you hushed and still. The only sounds were the steady clop of hooves on packed earth and the occasional rustle of wind through the trees. The cool night air brushed against your cheeks, carrying the scent of pine and distant woodsmoke.
For a while, neither of you spoke; it was the kind of easy, companionable silence you had both grown accustomed to over the years. But as the trail stretched and the landmarks shifted in your periphery, a faint prickle of doubt worked under your skin.
You glanced around, frowning as you recognized a familiar old tree, crooked and leaning with a wide, twisted branch that reached out like a bent arm.
“Joel,” you called softly, pulling Dusty closer. “You’re headin’ the wrong way.”
Joel grunted, squinting ahead as he kept Apollo moving. “No, I ain’t. I know this path like the back of my hand.”
You raised a brow, nudging Dusty so you rode side by side. “I know you do, but we just passed that big split oak instead of the hollow stump by the fork. Which means…” You gestured ahead with a chin tilt, “We’re headed toward Flat’s Creek. Not home.”
Joel slowed Apollo to a stop, turning his head just enough to glance at you. His brow furrowed in mild irritation.
“You wanna say you don’t need glasses again?” you teased, a gentle, knowing smile tugging at your lips.
Joel let out a sharp breath, shaking his head as he rubbed a hand over his face. “Goddamn trees all look the same in the dark.”
“Mm-hmm,” you hummed, leaning in a little. “I can lead us back, old man. No shame in lettin’ me take point.”
Joel gave you a flat look, but the affection in his eyes softened it. “You’re enjoyin’ this way too much.”
“Maybe a little,” you admitted, unable to keep smiling as you reached out and let your hand brush his arm. “C’mon. I’ll get us home.”
Joel sighed, a low, fond sound as he let you take the lead. He muttered something you didn’t catch, falling beside you as you turned Dusty toward the right path.
You stirred, furrowing your brow at the emptiness beside you. The bed was still warm where he’d been, but the absence of his steady weight made the room feel too big. You blinked up at the ceiling, the faint glow of dying embers from the hearth down the hall casting a soft flicker of light across the walls.
It wasn’t the first time.
Joel had nights like this. Nights where old ghosts kept him restless, where the quiet pressed too close. Sometimes it was bad dreams, other times just that wired, sharp-edged instinct neither of you had ever truly shaken. He’d slip out of bed without a word, wander the house, check the locks, listen to the night.
You lay there a while, eyes tracing the shadows on the ceiling, hoping you’d hear the floorboards creak and feel him settle in beside you again.
But he didn’t.
With a sigh, you slid out of bed, bare feet brushing the cool wood floor. You grabbed his flannel from the back of the chair, pulling it over your shoulders, the scent of him wrapping around you.
The house was quiet, save for the soft pop of the last logs in the stove. A lantern on the kitchen table cast a faint, wavering light, shadows dancing across the walls as you padded through the hallway.
You caught a flicker of movement through the window.
There he was—Joel, sitting in the old chair on the porch, the rifle leaning against the house nearby. His shoulders were hunched, one hand wrapped around a half-forgotten mug of coffee gone cold, his gaze fixed on something far beyond the dark tree line.
You hesitated, your hand resting on the window frame. You knew that look. He wasn’t really seeing the night, not anymore. He was someplace else.
Grabbing a blanket off the couch, you pushed open the door, the night air cool against your skin.
“Can’t sleep?” you asked softly, not wanting to startle him.
Joel turned his head, his eyes meeting yours in the low light. Unsurprisingly, he’d heard you coming before you stepped onto the porch. He reached a hand out toward you, palm open in silent invitation.
You smiled faintly, moving toward him and settling yourself in his lap without a word. His arms came around you automatically, pulling the blanket over your shoulders, tucking you in against his chest like he’d been waiting for you to do just that.
Your eyes drifted to the rifle, propped against the house within reach. “You hear somethin’?” you murmured, your brow creasing as your hand brushed his forearm.
Joel exhaled, the sound rough and tired. “Just a few elk movin’ through,” he muttered. But his eyes didn’t leave the treeline.
You rested your head against his shoulder, feeling the tension still coiled tight in him.
“It’s not them,” you whispered, because sometimes you both needed to hear it.
“I know,” he said, and you felt it in the way his arms tightened around you and his lips brushed the top of your hair. “Doesn’t stop my head from goin’ there sometimes.”
“Mine too.”
You both sat in the quiet, the night pressing around you, familiar and heavy but softened by the warmth between your bodies. The wind rattled the branches in the distance, but here on the porch, wrapped up together, it felt a little safer.
A little easier to breathe.
Joel sighed, tipping his chin against your temple. “Guess neither of us’ll ever fully shake it.”
“No,” you said, your voice barely more than a hush between you. “Ain’t easy lettin’ your guard down. Not after all this time. But I wanna be here… with you. Always here.”
Joel said nothing, but his hand found yours under the blanket, fingers threading together as he held you closer.
You closed your eyes, savoring the simple weight of his hand in yours and the warmth of his body against your back. The old ache—that restless worry, the quiet fear that one day the world might come for what you built—lingered. It always would. You both knew it. The ghosts never stayed buried for long.
But here with Joel’s arm around you, and the steady sound of his breathing, it was enough. You wouldn’t trade this life with him for anything else.
The night stretched quietly around you, the wind carrying the scent of pine and distant rain. Joel shifted, pressing a soft, unhurried kiss to your temple.
“C’mon, darlin’,” he murmured. “Let’s head in. Reckon it’s cold as hell out here.”
You smiled against his chest. “Not so bad, long as you’re here.”
Joel gave a soft chuckle, the sound rumbling through you as he helped you to your feet. The blanket was still wrapped around you both as you stepped inside. The porch light flickered out behind you as the old house settled with a sigh.
Summary: Ezra returns to his home planet and to you
Rating: 18+
Word Count: 8,500(ish) words (things got out of hand)
Warnings: Fluff, angst, family feels, friends to lovers trope, rough smut, unprotected p in v, mildy detailed oral sex, dirty talk/praise, fowl language, and Ezra being his wordy self, excessive use of reader's nickname and Kevva
Author’s Note: This is for the "Writing Through The Seasons" challenge created by @guiltyasdave and @sizzlingcloudmentality . I got Ezra + summer + heart on fire + honey and the quote "I want to see you undress for me".
I ended up combining it with a story I was already planning to write and it bloomed into this huge oneshot that I was nervous about writing but ended up loving. I only hope I did Ezra justice. This was my first time writing him. I tried to balance my love of softness out with his brand of feral behavior. Also, I have incorporated a detail or two that weren't in the movie but were mentioned by the writers/directors in interviews.
xxx
Indecision faltered your movement down the familiar white walled hall of the intensive care unit, as it rightfully should have.
Why you were here on your off hours to visit a man you hadn't seen in over two decades, you had no grasp on.
You'd left him to history, hadn't you? You'd thought so for a long time, at least. He was your childhood; he had no place in your life now.
Yet something beckoned to you, compelled you to keep going until you reached room twelve, the one your work friend had said he'd be in.
You halted in the doorway for three reasons. One, the man in the room's single bed was nearly unrecognizable after all the passing years and it took you a few moments to reconcile the boyish face you'd known with the far more matured one he now exhibited. It was hastened by the tuft of blonde hair on the top of the right side of his head, and the old scar that ran across his left cheek, a reminder of how wildly adventurous he'd been as a child, more at home in the swamp and the rainforest than society.
Two, the man was terrifyingly pale and sweaty, his body twisted in the sheets as he slept restlessly beneath them, eyes sunken in. It was far worse to see the signs of fever and infection written on his tortured face than the limb he was clearly missing, stump covered in clean gauze. He could survive easily without an arm; surviving whatever had invaded his system was far more questionable, even though the monitor beside him assured you his pulse was steady and strong.
Three, he was not alone. A young girl, a teenager, was curled up in a leather seat beside him, watching his face with an intense expression, as if she was trying to will him to wake up with her mind. Her blonde hair was a tangled mess, and she was wearing sweats that were a few sizes too big for her, but she looked healthy, unmarked.
You didn't know what to make of her. She didn't look like him, but could she be his? There had been plenty of time for him to have a child of that age since the last time you'd seen him.
"Hi," you said awkwardly. "What's your name?"
She flinched and snapped her head in your direction. "Cee. Any news?"
You blinked at her, confused. "Any news on what?"
"His bloodwork," she explained. "The other nurse told me they'd have the results soon. That the nightshift doctor would stop in with them."
It clicked then. "Oh, I'm not a nurse," you said, glancing down at your navy colored scrubs before meeting her gaze. "I work as a physical therapist downstairs. Got off a few hours ago."
"What are you still doing here, then?" she inquired, folding her arms together.
"I came back to see Ezra," you replied, the name so foreign on your tongue that you hesitated upon saying it. It was alien to be speaking it out loud again after so long.
Cee studied you warily. "You know him?"
"Knew him," you corrected. "We were friends when we were kids."
You'd been much more than that towards the end, but she didn't need to know that.
She huffed. "Didn't think he was the type for friends."
"Then what is he the type for?" you asked, uncertain you wanted to know. You had an idea of how he might have spent his years off planet as a miner. You knew many atrocious stories about how some of those companies ran.
She remained quiet, unwilling to answer, which unlocked a newfound fear in you.
"Did he hurt you?"
"No!" she protested quickly, eyes widening a little. "No, he wouldn't do that."
Relief washed over you. You hadn't thought him capable of harming a kid, no matter what he may have otherwise done while away, but you had to ask. People changed, after all. It had been too long for you to assume his most basic morals had remained intact.
"Are you his daughter?" you finally inquired.
She snorted, as if you'd presented the most ridiculous question possible to her, and shook her head. "No. We met last week out on The Green."
You stared at her. "You were on The Green?"
"The Green" was a moon famous for its valuable bounties, but infamous for its vast dangers, both environmentally and socially. The few people who dared visit it to reap its hidden treasures were often greedy and ruthless. Not to mention the whispers of strange cults settling the dense forests to live out their lives as they saw fit.
It was no place for children.
"My father's idea," she explained, like that would make it make sense.
"And where is your father now?" you questioned, making an attempt not to force the word father. As far as you were concerned, no real father would dare drag his teenage daughter to that godforsaken planet.
"Dead," Cee said simply, face void of mournfulness.
You found her lack of emotion almost unsettling, but reminded yourself that people, especially kids, could be good at hiding them, and maybe there was good reason she would not care to cry for him.
Maybe her father was abusive or neglectful. He had dared to put her in significant danger for wealth, after all. That alone already sullied your opinion of the unnamed man to whom she shared blood with.
"How'd you end up here with Ezra?" you pressed on.
"He protected me out on the Green," she answered. "And we helped each other escape."
You could only imagine what they had faced. Maybe later you would ask Ezra about it, if he ever woke up.
"How bad off is he?"
Cee shrugged. "The doctor seemed hopeful last time she passed through."
"What happened?"
"On our way to an escape pod he became ill, infected by the spores in the air. They got through a tear in his suit. I had to cut off his arm to stop the spread, and he was doing better, but then we got into a fight with some other people who refused us seats in the pod and he got stabbed. We made it off the moon pretty soon after, but he got reinfected. He had just enough time to let it be known where he wanted to go, to buy a trip here, before he was too weak to leave the medical bay."
It was a lot to take in, but surely a lot more for the girl to have endured.
"I'm sorry you had to go through all that, Cee," you said kindly.
She shrugged again. "He got the worst of it."
It wasn't what you meant, but you didn't correct her this time. Instead, you made her an offer. "Why don't you come home with me tonight? Get some sleep in a proper bed."
She narrowed her eyes at you. "Why would you help me? You don't know me."
"You helped save Ezra's life," you stated plainly, "And it sounds like you don't have anywhere else to go. Unless they've sent for someone from the orphanage?"
"I lied to them," Cee admitted. "I told them Ezra was my father and that I was seventeen. Old enough that they weren't concerned about getting the government involved."
You were impressed. "All the more reason to come with me. They'll get worried if you keep here all the time and waste away."
She gave you a look of suspicion.
"You're gonna have to trust someone, Cee," you said. "Have you even been to this planet before?"
"No, I just know its name," she replied. "Sylva Pluvialis. The rain-loving forest, right? It's supposed to be very Earth-like. "
"It is."
Earth had long been in ruins by the time you were born, but it was taught about in school plenty enough for you to remember what it was supposed to be like. The origin planet of humanity once had many different environments, but it had been most known for having a lot of water, just like your home planet, until it became the example of how not to treat a planet. A warning that they shouldn't take their second chance in the space beyond for granted, no matter how many planets and moons they'd since settled.
"So you gonna take me up on the offer or not?" you prompted, putting a hand on your hip.
She was parting her lips to speak when a soft groan interrupted her, and you both stared at the source. At Ezra. His eyes were still shut, but he was twitching his fingers, grasping at the sheets.
Maybe having a nightmare? you thought.
You approached his bedside and grabbed onto his remaining arm, below the elbow. "Ezra, Ezra, wake up," you called out calmly. "You're dreaming."
His eyes fluttered open slowly, and you sucked in a deep breath as those dark orbs met yours. All those years spent apart, yet they were still the eyes of the man you'd once loved.
"Birdie?" he murmured, bewilderment carving into his handsome features. A droplet of sweat slid from his temple to his hairline next to his ear. He chuckled in disbelief. "Kevva, I must be delirious from fever. You've hardly aged."
You laughed, relieved to hear him talking. Even if his voice was not like you remembered it, his sense of humor was. "I've got good genes."
"What are you doing here?" he inquired.
"You're asking me this?" You snorted. "I should be the one asking you. You're the one who left the solar system, Ezra."
"My greatest regret," he confessed with a wheeze.
You weren't sure what to say to that. He had hurt you when he had run away, because that was precisely what he had done. Run away. From home, from reality, from you. For what? To end up in a hospital bed with no one else to care about him except a young girl he'd just met and the woman he'd pushed away.
Ezra turned his head from you to glance in Cee's direction and was almost equally shocked to see her still there too. "You stayed?"
She huffed. "Where else am I supposed to go? I have no one else left."
Ezra's face twisted into a grimace, a hint that the story Cee had told you wasn't in full. "For what it's worth, I am sorry everything went down as it did, little bird."
She recrossed her arms. "I'm not here for apologies. We're past that."
He nodded.
"Do you have a place to stay when you get out of here?" you asked, breaking the tension.
He glanced at you knowingly. "I did not request to be transferred to this hospital with any intentions of begging you for your hospitality, birdie. That you presented yourself here even momentarily is a great wonder and mercy."
You couldn't help the edges of your lips curling up at his flowery use of words. After all this time he was still a master of language, just like his parents had been.
You'd never been quite so eloquent with your words.
"Shut up, Ez. You're staying at my house for a while."
x
You still lived in the house you were raised in, your parents having moved to the nearest city to live out their retirement years enjoying all that it had to offer. Movies, museums, food. They were living it up.
You were too used to the country life to follow them. Too in love with the land you'd been raised on. And there were too many fond memories to let go of.
Many of which involved Ezra, and maybe that was why you were taking him there in your transportation, a hover mobile that was shaped a lot like the cars of ancient times, back to where everything began. Not that you wanted to start over, but rather that you wanted to help the boy you remembered heal, and maybe stitch back together the part of your heart he tore when he fled, so those memories would no longer be tainted.
You also wanted to help Cee in whatever ways you could. Help her find her place in society again, find her a school to go to. You had always been a charitable person, had always strived to make the lives of the less fortunate better, and there was just something about her that made you want to see her flourish. You got the sense a kid with her kind of inner strength could do great things one day.
When your transport landed in front of your house, you and Cee immediately slipped out the doors, sucking in the fresh air as you glanced around at the surrounding massive fields of grass and the rainforest that bordered them.
Ezra lingered in the vehicle, deep in thought as he scanned the land around him. You wondered what he was thinking about. Their past? His parents' farm next door?
It had burned to the ground a decade ago, after a gas leak in the house's faulty heating system had exploded and destroyed it. It had taken his parents while they were fast asleep.
Ezra hadn't even come back home for their joint funeral. His brother had messaged him about it, but he had told him he wouldn't be able to make it. So his brother had sorted out all the proceedings on his own, then jetted off planet too, though his reason had to do with his wife wanting to make the move closer to her living relatives.
Did Ezra regret it? You pondered.
Eventually he stepped out too and followed you and Cee into the one story house, a duffel bag in hand, containing all the belongings that he had left. It wasn't even completely filled up.
"Ezra, you can take the guest room," you told him as you all took off your shoes at the door. "Light blue room if you don't remember it. Cee, you're going to be staying in my old bedroom, it's the one with the light green walls. Just down the hall."
They both swept the kitchen and living room over with their eyes.
"Your domicile appears almost exactly as I recall it," Ezra noted. "Strange, after all this time."
You shrugged. "I saw no reason to update it beyond adding a new layer of paint."
You headed for the kitchen sink to wash your hands. "I'm making cassoulet for dinner; feel free to raid the fridge for a quick lunch. I'm making myself a sandwich."
Ezra and Cee both nodded at you and disappeared down the hall to put away their belongings.
x
Your guests kept to their rooms most of the afternoon, something of a relief for you.
Even though you'd willingly invited them to stay, for however long they needed, it would be an adjustment having other people in the house again, especially Ezra, who you had a far too involved history with for his constant presence to be anything but awkward.
It seemed you might not have time to adjust though, considering that one dinner in they were already discussing their plans for future housing.
"Ever since we got off the Green, I've been thinking about going to boarding school," Cee informed you and Ezra. "Apparently there's one three hours from here. If I can get access to my father's savings, I could apply, maybe get in by autumn, though the window left to do so is small. If I got in I wouldn't have to worry about anything but where I'd stay during summers and holidays."
"You do not have to be concerned about your board on breaks," Ezra told her. "When I find a residence to rent, you may stay with me anytime you like."
Cee appeared pleasantly surprised by his offer. "If that wouldn't be a bother."
"You're no bother, little bird," he said, waving off her apprehension. "I owe much to you. If you cannot access your father's account, I would like to also assist you in paying for the school, if you would permit me to do so."
"Thanks," she said quietly. "I would appreciate that. But how would you afford it?"
"I have been a prospector for a long time," Ezra explained. "As pricey as the travel could be at times, I do still have a small savings. It will keep us until I find a new employment."
You couldn't help but smile at their interaction, a distraction from the classic French meal before you. Ezra was being quite generous to Cee. You thought she might mean a lot to him, despite how little time they'd had to get to know each other. It made you curious about what exactly had gone down on the Green between them.
"Do you know of any opportunities for payment?" Ezra asked you.
"I haven't heard of any job openings at the hospital that doesn't require special education," you informed him. "But surely there's something in town. You can borrow my tablet to do a search if you need to."
He nodded. "Thank you, birdie."
His sincerity, the appreciation in his lively lit eyes, nearly stole your breath.
All these years, and he could still make your stomach flutter.
x
"Ezra, don't do this," you begged as he began stuffing clothes into the duffle bag he'd thrown onto his bed.
"I need to do this, birdie," he insisted, reaching out to hold your face in his rough hands. "The farm's not going to last without some other source of profit."
"But prospecting?" you questioned. "Ezra, most of the companies out there are cut throat, quite literally. You have heard the stories as much as I have. It's not so different from going to war."
He snorted. "Exaggerations. Gossip. The prospecting companies are like all others. They must obey the laws of their home planets."
"Maybe they do," you relented, "But once their workers land on a foreign planet or moon, it is a free-for-all. Lawless territory."
"It's good money, birdie," he told you, stepping away. "We would never have to worry about finances ever again. Not my parents. Not-"
"Not you," you finished for him. "Since when did you care about money, Ezra, as long as there was enough to survive?"
"I am weary of simple survival, birdie," he hissed. "You should understand most of all."
You got it then, why he really wanted to leave. "Is this about me leaving for college?" you asked incredulously.
"You are paving your way to a better future, why can't I too?"
"You're not fooling me, Ez," you said. "It's about the distance. That I'm going to one of the moons to get my specialized training."
You grabbed his right hand. "Distance will not be the end of us, Ezra. What we have is beyond that. Why can you not trust in us? In the misfits? Us against the world, remember?"
He narrowed his eyes at you. "You're trying to hold me back. Why?"
"Cause I'm worried about your safety!" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up.
"Well, fret no more," he snapped uncharacteristically, turning away to throw his bag over his shoulder. "I will no longer be your business."
He might as well have slapped you. You stared at him, stunned. "What?"
"I will be gone for a long time," he explained. "It's part of the contract. It is best we end things here."
"You bastard!" you screamed, shoving him. "Idiot! Coward! All this because I'm going to college for a couple years? We could've made it work! The distance is nothing."
He pulled his lips tightly together. "I don't share your naivety."
With that, he pushed past you on his way out, and devastated by his harsh words, you let him.
You turned to watch his back as he disappeared down the hall, wondering how your relationship could've turned sour so fast.
How your best friend could've dared rip your heart out.
For the first time in your life, nothing made sense.
x
You woke up from the reminiscent dream with tears in your eyes, the pain of it flooding back to you almost as if it had just occurred the previous day, not twenty-four years ago.
The anger you'd felt after he'd left resurfaced as you tried to pull yourself back together.
That was a long time ago. You'd put it behind you. He'd even apologized.
And you knew why he'd left. Why he'd broken up with you. He'd been scared. You'd been his first real relationship, his only true friend his whole childhood, just like he'd been yours.
Before he'd moved in next door, he'd been a lonely boy. Your mother had actually been the one to insist you go out and play with him, having made friends with his mother already, and knowing he had a difficult time making his own friends.
You'd bonded over your shared oddities, particularly for your love of nature and books in a world where technology reigned supreme, and your disinterest in spending time with any of the other children in your class.
You'd spent nearly every evening after school together, exploring the land that your parents farmed, mornings on weekends. The rainforest where they harvested native edible plants to sell to less fruitful planets and moons so they could have enough sustenance to feed their populations during dry spells was your favorite playground.
It was where Ezra got the scar on his cheek, tripping and falling face first into a sharp rock while chasing you. You'd both been ten at the time.
The incident had launched you into a fit of giggles, once you'd checked in to make sure he was okay.
The recollection of the surprise on his face as he'd fallen made you laugh even decades later, which only caused you to cry harder.
Sometimes it was your days as a member of the misfits of Sylva Pluvialis that you mourned most of all.
x
On their second day at your home, your guests got hard at work to figure out their future jobs and housing, Ezra borrowed your transportation to bring himself and Cee to town to run their errands, leaving you alone most of the day to tend to your household chores and the beehives your family had taken care of ever since before you could remember anything.
The bees were remnants of Earth, flown through space and time to be farmed for honey so people could consume it wherever they ended up. Your parents had made a decent profit from them when you were growing up and honey had gotten a fair bit more valuable as of late due to a sudden increase in demand caused by a current diet trend.
Ezra and Cee had already returned by the time you finished with them and jarred some honeycombs for a desert you were planning to make the next day.
He was lounging on the couch when you strolled in.
"Where's Cee?" you inquired.
"In her room," he answered. "Busying herself with writing."
"Did she get what she needed to apply for school?"
He nodded. "They were able to dig up all the information she needed to apply to the boarding school, and I transferred my savings over to the bank in town since she was denied access to her father's account. Tomorrow I am going to assist her in filling out the application."
"And did you have any luck in town?"
"There's a few rents on the market, but they are far too costly for anything long term," he replied. "Unfortunately, the non-specialty work is sparser."
"I'm sure something will turn up soon," you assured him. "At worst, harvest season is only a few months away. My father reseeded his portion of the forest before he decided to retire. The area is probably overgrown, but I am sure you could still get a decent yield of crop from it. You could keep all the profits. It should be enough to keep the bills paid for nearly a year and to purchase a prosthetic arm of your choosing, which I will gladly help you with. I have many patients who use prosthetics."
Ezra grinned. "My dearest birdie, you are too kind. Believe it or not, I was actually just contemplating whether or not I should offer you currency for the land my brother sold to your father after my parents perished. Get back into the business. That way I would not need to rely on the mercy of others."
"You would not need much," you told him honestly. "Your brother practically gave the land to us for nothing, and I would not sell it to you for more. Let me know if you want to go through with it."
He gave you a curt nod. "Thank you. I will."
x
It wasn't a month before summer completely overtook spring on the planet, bringing about a period of equal amounts of rain and sun, and weather that alternated between the two in the blink of an eye.
Your guests continued to keep mostly to themselves except for meals and occasional gatherings in the living room to watch a film or two.
Cee seemed to thrive on quiet time in her room, drawing or writing for hours on end in the spare journal you'd handed to her after Ezra had mentioned that she was an aspiring author.
You'd managed to get her out of the house for a rare trip into town a few times to get desert or to shop for the formal clothes she'd need for boarding school, but not much else.
Ezra was quite a bit more distant, spending a lot of time away from the house for one reason or another. When he wasn't busy or pretending to be occupied, he hiked the trails, choosing the company of the natural world over yours. It was curious, since the Ezra you knew had hardly been able to stand quiet. He'd always preferred company to converse with.
And it wasn't like you'd expected him to entertain you, but you couldn't help but be disappointed. A part of you, the girl, had longed to mend bridges.
Even if it was his fault they were broken to begin with, you needed it, as much as you didn't want to admit it.
So one early sunny morning, in the peak of summer, you tugged on your boots and your pack and met him just before he wandered into the dense forest.
"Mind if I join you?" you asked as you fell into step with him.
He glanced at you, caught off guard by your appearance, but trying not to act it. "Of course not."
"Good," you said. "Cause it's supposed to be a scorcher today and I know just the spot to visit and cool off."
You led the way down a grassy trail through the forest, overgrown from lack of use. You didn't take the path very often; only visiting its end point when you most needed to clear your head. When you most needed peace.
Ezra followed close behind, not questioning where you were going, still unnaturally silent even though you were right there, barely ahead of him.
It took maybe twenty minutes before you reached the clearing. You heard the running water long before you saw it, a great river snaking through the land, hidden from the rest of the world.
You'd discovered it when you were a child, during one of your explorative adventures with Ezra. It had become your secret spot, only known by him, but rarely shared with him. He'd left it to you, but knew to look for you there when something was troubling you.
You thought it would be the perfect place to bring him since he seemed to be the troubled one now.
"It's magnificent, as it has always been," he noted as he joined you at the riverbank, staring up at the moderate but still respectably sized waterfall that fed the turbulent body of water.
"Yeah," you agreed, side-eying him as you spoke, trying to observe his reaction. "Water's sparkling today. Perfect for swimming."
"Birdie," he protested, but you were already barefoot, shirtless, and dropping your shorts.
You jumped into the water fearlessly, in nothing but your undergarments, and shouted as you came back up to the surface, not having expected it to be so unusually cold for the season.
"Come on, Ezra," you yelled out, gesturing for him to follow suit. "Don't be shy."
He grunted at you, like him being shy was the most ridiculous thing you could've insinuated, and removed his shirt in one flowing motion.
Then you knew why it was ridiculous.
Ezra had always been attractive, but he'd really grown into his own since you'd last seen him like this. He was a far cry from the skinny teenage boy you'd fallen in love with. Rugged was the descriptor that first sprung to mind. He was build solid; well filled out. And his shoulders looked that much broader without fabric covering them.
You would've gotten lost in staring at him if not for the alarming amount of scars on him that hadn't been there before, including one near his ribs that you were certain was from a healed knife wound.
"Ezra," you whispered, rattled by the sight of it; by how close the wound was to some very vital organs.
"Got it on the Green," he informed you, having seen how your eyes had been drawn to it.
"I know," you said, "Cee mentioned it. It's why your infection worsened before you arrived on planet, right?"
He nodded.
"Do I want to know how many times you've almost died in the last couple decades?" you inquired.
"I sincerely doubt it, birdie," he said, "Yet I still roam this mortal plane."
"Here, but not seizing the day," you commented. "Join me."
"Gladly."
He waded into the river and dipped his head under briefly before reaching your side.
"Refreshing, isn't it?" you inquired pointedly. This was why you'd brought him to the river after all. Not only to cool down, but to relax and take part in a simple joy.
He smiled fondly. "It's been a considerable time since I swam. I nearly forgot the feeling of respite that accompanied it."
"Well, you can come here whenever you like," you offered.
He cocked his head. "You would share with me?"
"It would not be the first time."
You were not only thinking of the times he'd followed you out here to comfort you, but also of all the times you'd taken pleasure in each other on the riverbank, away from all prying human eyes and ears.
Judging from the expression on his face, his mind had gone there too.
"I meant what I said in the hospital, birdie," he said eventually. "I am sorry for the pain I caused you by fleeing. Abandoning you. I was a foolish, insecure boy. I reasoned that you would meet another student with a more promising future and forget about me, whether or not I did so. I thought I was cutting to the chase. I thought I could move on."
He paused. "However, while I’ve had more encounters than I’d care to count, I came to the subsequent conclusion that you were the only one that ever truly meant anything to me. Being with you was something entirely different. You were like an oasis in a desert to me, one Kevva created just for my reprieve. Being with you was not just a want, but a need. I have not felt anything remotely like it thereafter."
"Then why have you been avoiding me?" you asked, though you had been cleaved by his words. They had expressed what you'd also surmised; something that had been almost too devastating for your romantic heart when you'd first realized it.
"For precisely that reason," he replied. "I am tempted to rekindle what I have reminisced about for the entire span of my maturity, and I cannot."
"Why not?" you said, frowning. If you both wanted to be together, shouldn't it be simple? This was not one of those forbidden love stories you'd read about when you were a teenager.
"Because you are too good for me," he explained. "I am tarnished. I've got blood on my hands, birdie. They are soaked. Worse, some of that blood courses through Cee's veins."
You blinked at him, confused. "What does that mean?"
He then dove into the story of how he and Cee met. He began by telling you that his visit to the Green was always supposed to be his last attempt at wealth. He went on to tell you about the team he was with, their success in finding the gems they were after, and how their greed had torn them apart, destroyed their ship, and resulted in the deaths of everyone on board but him and a faceless mute he called Number Two.
He recounted how he met a man named Damon who had endeavored to steal his gems, an action that ultimately lead to Number Two to shooting him, though Ezra had been attempting to talk him out of it, for Cee's sake. Cee had been Damon's daughter.
Damon had shot back, and Number Two died, but Damon hadn't.
"He was mortally wounded," Ezra told you, "But I took it upon myself to dispatch him anyway."
"It was a mercy kill," you injected.
He shook his head at you. "That wasn't my sole intention, birdie," he stated darkly. "I desired to take his life. I was spiteful about it. I didn't feel guilty for killing him, only for it putting a young girl in the unfortunate position of being an orphan on a strange and violent planet."
You swallowed hard, trying to come to terms with what he'd just confessed to. The story conflicting with everything you had known about him.
"It's why I didn't abandon Cee," he said, "I owed her, and someone had to be responsible for her. She saved my life on that abhorrent moon. Only Kevva knows why. She's the one who cut off my arm when it got infected and when I ordered her to leave me behind to my fate after I was stabbed, to escape on her own, she came back for me. So, as long as she'll allow me, I will mind her."
That part, at least, sounded a lot more like the Ezra you'd known.
"You care about her a lot, don't you?"
You could hear it in his voice. It wasn't just about him feeling responsible for her.
"She made it impossible not to," he answered simply. "I gave her no reason to spare me, yet she did."
"I doubt that," you told him. "There's a charm to you, Ez."
"Oh?"
"I don't just share this spot with anyone," you reminded him. "It's only ever been you."
"No amount of charm will ever change the things I've done," he said almost bitterly.
"It doesn't matter what you did," you told him. "Only what you do now."
He nodded, and the serious expression on his face enticed you to splash water into it, an unexpected assault that left him looking like a drowned rat, and in turn made you giggle.
"You think that's amusing?" he roared.
He tackled you playfully into the water, like you'd done so many times to him when you were teenagers, and you came up sputtering for air, but unperturbed by your defeat.
When your laughter ebbed, you locked eyes with Ezra and your breath hitched, your body's go-to reaction to witnessing intense desire in his soulful eyes. You hadn't seen it in far too long.
He bridged the gap between you a split second sooner than you could, pulling you in for a searing kiss, and you melted into his embrace.
"I want you, Ez," you whispered as you broke away from him.
A smirk tugged at his lips, the hidden confidence he'd gained with age and experience revealing itself at your statement. It made your stomach swoop.
"And I want to see you undress for me, birdie," he rasped heatedly into your ear, his hot breath tickling it.
You grinned and led him out of the water, only doing as requested once you were on the bank.
You stripped out of your undergarments slowly, teasingly, eyes on him, noticing that his were fixed on you like a predator eying its next meal. On anyone else the expression might have frightened you, but this was Ezra. You knew he would never harm you.
You approached him once you were naked and he palmed your right cheek.
"You are the finest creature Kevva has ever created," he declared as he glided his rough thumb over your delicate lips, tracing them. "I am not worthy of you."
"I'll accept an attempt to be," you joshed.
"I'm afraid my first endeavor to do so may be mediocre," he admitted. "I am no longer whole, birdie, and I have not participated in any intimate acts since the loss of my limb."
You shook your head at him and boldly groped at the hardened bulge in his pants, drawing a sharp moan from him. You smirked. "Something tells me you are still plenty capable of getting the job done."
When you removed your hand he shut his eyes, taking a moment to calm himself. "Fuck, birdie. Are you trying to eliminate me?"
Your only reply was a devilish smile and a come hither look which drew him back to you like a moth to a flame. He followed you to the ground, kneeling in the short grass as you laid out on your back.
He hooked his arm around your bent knees and quickly dragged you closer to him, pure lust written out on his features.
"My birdie, I wish to taste your sweet nectar," he confessed lowly. "Would you allow me to do so? To bring you to ecstasy with my mouth?"
You propped yourself up on your elbows to look at him directly. "I'm yours, Ezra," you said ardently. "Take me as you desire."
"That's a dangerous proposition," he hissed.
You shrugged. "I'm not worried."
He settled between your thighs, his left hand spreading you wide to allow accommodation for his broad shoulders, and dipped his head down to put his mouth on you.
You gasped and flattened yourself to the ground after the initial sweep of his tongue against your heat, the action feeling far more pleasant than you'd expected.
It had been a long time since any man had done this to you, let alone yearned to do so, and it was quickly clear that Ezra had significantly more practice at it than any of your other previous partners.
His licks and sucks were precise, and he skillfully focused on your most sensitive areas, sending jolts of pleasure through your body that had you arching your back and squeezing your thighs tight against the sides of his head. You tugged at his hair with one hand and bit down on the other fisted one to cope.
"Want to hear you, birdie," Ezra told you when you started holding back. You hadn't even realized you were, because why would you when there was no one else to listen to the noises you were making except him? But you had, and so you stopped.
He dipped two fingers into you and pressed them against the sweet spot inside you, and that act combined with the continued attention of his tongue soon had your body quaking with white hot bliss.
"Ezra," you moaned out loudly, digging your nails into his scalp. "Fuck. Should've known that mouth of yours wasn't just good for talking. Hats off to whoever taught you of its alternate use."
He chuckled and kissed his way back up your body slowly, nipping at the skin on your belly and breasts as he did so, eventually finding your lips again.
"You are divine in every way," he murmured against them, biting the lower one. "I could give it another go, but I fear I may fall apart before getting a chance to be surrounded by you, and that would be a terrible disappointment."
"Fret no more," you said, grinning as you popped the button of his pants open. "Just take these off and give us both what we desire most."
Nodding, he rolled away from you to peel off the soaked pants and boxer briefs he still wore as fast as he could, kneeling once again before you after they were ditched.
A thrill coursed through you as his eyes raked hungrily over you; as your body anticipated what was to come.
He didn't waste any time notching his tip at your entrance and joining your bodies together, surging into you in one swift motion, all the way down to the hilt. You yelped at the suddenness of it, but quickly relaxed as the intensity of the stretch quickly morphed into a comforting warmth.
He covered you, eyes flicking to yours as he supported his upper body on his singular forearm, the tension in the air between you palpable.
"My memory did not serve you justice, my dear birdie," he muttered, breath hot against your neck. "Nor my fantasies. You clutch me so tightly I fear I may unravel well before either of us reach satisfaction. I must take a beat."
In defiance, you raised your legs and crossed them just above his hips, drawing him into a slightly different position, and he grunted. "Fuck, Kevva have mercy."
You smiled smugly at him. "Too much, Ez?"
"Not enough," he growled, pulling out briefly only so he could ram his hips back into you, a powerful action that jarred you from your place in the grass and made you mew.
You chanted his name as he began pounding into you relentlessly, not holding back in the slightest. It was quite a contrast to your first time together, when he was cautious and wary of what he could do to you, but it was exactly what you'd wanted.
You dug your heels into his back, urging him on, and did your best to tilt your hips in time with his. Letting your hands wander over the expanse of his upper back and shoulders as you did so, you paused only to marvel at the feel of his impressive muscles bunching and flexing underneath his smooth skin and your palms.
"That's it, that's it birdie," he panted. "Shit. Look at you. Taking me so well, wanting more. I'll give you everything you ask for, just keep writhing and calling out my name like that. Kevva, no one has ever said it better."
"Ezra," you gasped. "Come for me."
"Not before you," he insisted, grinding into you harder as sweat beaded up on his forehead.
You gripped his waist tighter with your thighs and loosened them rhythmically, clenching and unclenching around him. Alongside the loud groans and praise that shamelessly poured out of his mouth and everything else he was already doing to you, it helped push you to the brink.
You screamed out his name a final time and clawed at his shoulder blades as pleasure wracked every inch of your body, leaving you a quivering mess.
"Shit, birdie, shit, shit," you heard Ezra curse in the background of the hazy world that consumed you after, the words sounding desperate.
You felt him shift then, shoving himself away from you to lean back on his heels, and when he resumed his pace, he drove into you ruthlessly, however brief. He pressed his hand firmly against the space between your belly and hips to enhance the sensation of it for your already limp body just before he found his own respite, jaw taunt and cock throbbing as he grunted and spurted hot inside you.
You whimpered at the sensation of it, overstimulated, and he lowered himself back down to you to kiss you tenderly.
"Easy, birdie, easy," he soothed, nuzzling your cheek after. "My beautiful, perfect birdie."
For awhile after you just existed together, your breaths mingling and hearts strumming in time with each other.
Once he'd calmed, Ezra dragged himself down your body enough to gain access to your breasts and sucked on one of your nipples greedily, pulling away after a few seconds with a grin plastered on his face. After he gave your other nipple similar attention for both your sake and his, he resumed his commendation of you, laving at the skin over your chest, neck, then face as he did so.
"For two decades I have traversed the universe in search of its greatest riches and delights, but nothing could match the euphoria I acquire when I am with you, over you, inside of you," he murmured against your lips, pecking them occasionally between words.
You smiled and silently basked in his affection.
"Your sanctity rivals Kevva herself," he continued, "I am immensely privileged to have worshipped you, even if just once more."
He rolled off of you and you turned to face him, to rest a hand on his smooth chest. "I should hope this is not the last time, Ezra. You may have very well ruined all other men for me today."
He preened at your appraisal and chuckled softly before sharing a grin with you.
His calloused hand skated over your shoulder after, and he gathered you under his arm to tuck you up against his side.
"Kevva, I missed you," he whispered, and you raised your hand to fondly stroke the hair at the base of his neck.
"I missed you too, Ez."
You prayed that you would never have to again.
"Sleep, birdie," he commanded. "I wish to see the river come alive with you tonight and be well rested while doing so."
"Gladly," you said, your exhaustion already hitting you and shuttering your eyes.
He pressed one last kiss to your mouth and you drifted off.
x
You'd once read in school that Earth had been remarkably similar to your home planet in all kinds of ways, from the high levels of oxygen in the air, to the abundance of water, and the creatures that populated its land.
They were far from identical, but there were many species on Sylva Pluvialis that, on their surface, resembled the ones that had cohabitated Earth with your ancestors, and were classified in the same manner.
The jellyfish and the many other types of fish that inhabited the river that ran through your property could've fooled Earth people easily into thinking they were still on the blue planet, until they saw them after sunset.
You slept on and off throughout the day with Ezra, until you woke up one last time that night to witness the change, when the dozens of animals within your view started to glow in the dark, their bioluminescence adding a shock of color to your world.
Dressed, you approached the river with Ezra, hand in hand, and observed them for a long time in tranquility.
"What a wondrous thing to behold," he said eventually, "A rarity among the wildlife littering the cosmos. There were times I thought I would never witness it again, but here I stand."
"Here we stand," you amended.
"And I am mystified by it," he admitted. "I am only here because of the grace Cee has shown me and the reprieve you handed me with little hesitance. I am perplexed by how someone like you could ever love someone like me."
"Who said I loved you?" you teased.
"You," he answered, "A long time ago. As did I. And that kind of adoration doesn't simply depart, does it? Even though I have become someone unrecognizable, a scoundrel, you still care for me."
"I recognize you just fine, Ezra," you told him, resting your head against his arm. "Underneath it all, you're still the same person I've always known. The inquisitive, pensive little boy who sometimes drove me crazy with all his verbose."
He huffed, but let you go on without interruption.
"A misfit like me. Remember? Us against the world. That's how it was always supposed to be."
"I will forever regret questioning it," he told you with a long sigh.
"We are past that," you said, echoing Cee. "Just don't make the same mistake twice."
"Never."
x
"You packed everything you needed, right?" you asked anxiously, trailing the young girl who you'd grown to deeply care for to the taxi transport in front of the house.
Cee turned to you and Ezra, smiling and shaking her head at the same time. "Yes. I even took one of the jars of honeycombs to eat as a snack on the road."
"Good, I'm glad," you said awkwardly. "I guess then, we only have goodbye left."
"For a few weeks," she pointed out. "I'll be back from school for harvest break. No time at all."
"I'll still miss you," you told her, opening your arms up for a hug.
She huffed at the gesture and rolled her eyes in a very typical teenage manner, but accepted your embrace anyway.
When she pulled away she glanced between you and Ezra. "I'll see you later."
"See you soon, little bird," Ezra said quietly.
She nodded at him and turned on her heels, ready to stroll over to the taxi and get inside, but something made her pause.
She faced Ezra again and launched herself at him suddenly, shocking you both as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
He had just enough time to hold her back briefly before she was gone, headed to the taxi for real this time.
Within the minute the vehicle had disappeared out of sight.
"You okay, Ez?" you inquired, eyes studying his.
There was no moisture in them, but they were piteous. "I will be."
You both started making your way back to the house, arms brushing, when you heard another transport stop out in front.
You twisted around at the same time and he frowned at you in confusion. It wasn't the same taxi Cee had left in.
You grinned, knowing there was only one other person the transport could contain. You'd invited him for a visit, after all.
He stepped out of the vehicle slowly, clearly unsure of himself, a bag slung over his back. It contained enough clothes to see him through the week if he wished to stay that long. You hoped he would.
He was slightly shorter than Ezra and a few years younger, with some boyish features that had never left him, highlighted by his lack of facial hair, but his chin and dark eyes were a near exact match to your Ez's.
He and Ezra were both stalk still as Ezra stared at him in disbelief.
"Enzo?"
The edges of the other man's mouth quirked up a little.
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (Ellie's adoptive mother), Joel and Eva (Prologue)
Other Major Characters: Tommy Miller, Ellie Williams, Sarah
Series Summary: Joel Miller, once the great archangel named Jaoel, fell from grace many centuries ago. After his brethren take everything from him, he immerses himself in human culture.
Careful not to get too close to anyone new, everything changes when Joel finds a nephal (nephilim plural) living on the streets in Austin - the first since his fall.
A trusted co-worker (reader) ends up taking her in. But just as the street kid, Ellie Williams, is settling into her new home Heaven's angels come to town searching for her. They have a plan to use her blood in their battle against Hell, then dispose of her after. Joel can't allow that. He won't.
Rating: 18+ Series
Warnings: AU, butchered biblical lore for the sake of the plot, fowl language, violence, blood, smut (both protected and unprotected p in v), mild description of birth, mention of rape and manipulative relationships by evil angels, a few POV changes, age gap (Joel is 1000s of years old)
Author’s Note: Thanks to @almostfoxglove for making the lovely moodboard for me! (And getting the angel!Joel thing stuck in my head)
Yeah yeah yeah brutal fast fucking is all fun in games but I offer you-
Fucking a guy who hasn't had sex in ages, if ever. He's so desperate, entire body shaking as he slides into you for the first time, immediately collapsing ontop of you as he bottoms out. He scoots as close as he can, arms wrapping around your waist as he buries his face in your neck trying to be as close to you as physically possible.
"Just wanna stay close to you like this for a minute"
He pants out, voice trembling and cock twitching inside of you. When he does start moving, it's nice and slow, the head of his cock perfectly massaging every inch inside of you as he grinds his hips into yours, moaning and praising you with every breath he takes.
Something about having a man completely fall apart as he slowly fucks you all cuddly, being all sweet and nice like his dick isn't reaching spots no one else has <3
If you could keep any animal as a pet, what would it be?
Now I'm talking about animals that you really cannot keep us a pet either because of legal reasons, ethics, danger… In our scenario, this animal is happy with you and it loves you.
Giraffes, zebras, white tailed deer, red pandas, and fennec foxes, amongst other mammals (wallabies, and red foxes, and snow leopards, oh my). Really, I just want to own a zoo. That's just some of the mammals, not all. There's some fish and lizards and turtles and birds I'd love too. Not sure if I would want any on the list in my house, but property, yes. With help. I couldn't take care of them all on my own.
look at me. listen to me. this is directed at americans for the record. the reason you think North American animals are boring is because you live here. there are so many cool and beautiful animals here. we have beavers. we have wolves. we have moose. we have sea lions. we have armadillos. we have mountain lions. we have alligators. we have foxes. we have bighorn sheep. we have manatees. we have bears. we have ocelots. we have BISON. and that’s not even touching on the birds! or the turtles! or the snakes! we have amazing beautiful and diverse wildlife right here and it deserves to be appreciated and protected
Possums are the only North American marsupial, they eat ticks and keep down cases of Lyme, and they can't carry rabies! We only have two native boa constrictors; the rubber boa and the rosy boa! Bison and the American Alligator are LITERAL MEGAFAUNA LEFT OVER FROM PREHISTORY!
When I was a teenager, I was hiking with my family on Cape Cod. I was not a willing participant to these hikes; I would've preferred to be back at our rental cabin with a book.
But my parents were birders, so hiking we did go.
And about a mile up the trail, a woman came rushing up to us, clutching her binoculars to her chest. "Come quickly," she said, with a British accent. "You have to see this!"
This is what birders are like. They are as excited about a life bird as any fan would be spotting their favorite celebrity. You have to see, you have to.
So my parents rushed off with her, and I plodded along behind them.
To find a cluster of Brits huddled in a bird blind, staring at..
A blue jay.
A goddamn blue jay.
And I was a teenager, but I knew better then to mouth off in front of my mom. So I nodded, and smiled, and bit my tongue, until an elderly man looked at me with tears in his eyes, and said, "Isn't it BEAUTIFUL?"
And I stopped. And looked at it. The way they were. As if it were new. And damned if they weren't right.
I think of that, to this day. That sometimes, you need to step back, and see the world as if it were new. Strange, and haunting, and beautiful, so beautiful.
