bluetoblack @bluetoblack - Tumblr Blog

you will forever be in between my mind and my soul

imagine loving someone unconditionally lmao

dont understand how can a cheeky ass thirty year ol retard spend time with you AND AT THE SAME TIME be seen as a nice romantic person, while i cant even message you without thinking itd affect you bad

lifes really weird ppl, just saying

#girl crush #crush #fairness #SayNoToYourCrushChoosingSomeoneOtherThanYou

have my panic attack virginity taken uwu

#panic #attack

uyku problemi sonrasinda

intihari dusundum, amaan ne olacak diye dusunup sandalyeye oturup sigara ictim. intihari dusunurken aglamaya basladim. aglamaya daha yeni baslamisken kendimi tutmayi, yani aglamayi durdurmak istedim, birileri duymasin diye. uzuldugum icin ellerimi yuzume koydum. biri beni gorseydi "bu adam deli" derler diye dusundum ve bu beni rahatsiz etti. bu ve disaridaki sesleri gercek olarak algilayamadim. derealizasyon gibiydi fakat ustune nefes almayi unutma, titreme, hizli kalp atisi, intihari dusundugumde olumden korkma, delirmekten korkma vardi. bazen bir anligina duzelir gibi oluyor, hayat gercekmis gibi geliyor, sonra ailemi veya sevdigimi dusununce tekrar basliyor. yardim istiyorum fakat ses cikarmiyor, cunku "hayat zaten gercek degil, birazdan olecegim" fikri vardi. yaklasik 15-20 dk sonra anne diye bagirabildim, birkac kez duyulmamasina ragmen guc topladikca bagirdim. geldiler, o sirada bir anlik duzeldim. sonra acile gitmem lazim dedim ve evden ciktim. yolda ellerimle yuzumu kapatarak ve sessizce bagirarak, yine ayni dusuncelerle, yapabiliyorken gideyim dedim ve sakinlestirici aldim. sonra yavas yavas azaldi.

kissed for the first time after a whole year. it is a long time for me, considering i was sexually active all 3-4 years before that. cannot say it was bad, ive missed it, but i feel like it should be with someone i really care about or love. lifes weird

lets imagine a lame movie. in the movie, the protagonist constantly suffers, and absurdity of life hits him in the head. you'd laugh all the way through this said movie, well, hate to break it down but this movie is your life; well, at least it's mine, idk about you.

eliminated

you always wear a pair of glasses when awake. only the light that is filtered through it reach your eyes. these pair of glasses are your consciousness. you occasionally have to clean it to see it as real as possible. well, you can just paint the damn glasses so you see it in the desired color