filled with rage

carrd • vent here

[blurry-body-inactive]

ok this blog is gonna be inactive frm now on. making a new one i'll rb with the username

[blurry-body-inactive]

new blog is @blurry-body same un as this used to be

[blurry-body-inactive]

ok this blog is gonna be inactive frm now on. making a new one i'll rb with the username

[blurry-body-inactive]

what if i deleted and remade this blog... just kidding.... unless?.

[reallygayaesthetics]

I’m not human

[blurry-body-inactive]

i am impossible

[liz-cat-meow-deactivated2020011]

[flowergrave-deactivated20190404]

[badlydrawneverything]

[theoriginalmkp]

growing up autistic / growing up gaslit

I.

this is the first lesson you learn: you are always wrong.

there is no electric hum buzzing through the air. there is no stinging bite to the sweetness of the mango. there is no bitter metallic tang to the water.

there is no cruelty in their laughter, no ambiguity in the instructions, no reason to be upset. there is no bitter aftertaste to your sweet tea, nothing scratchy about your blanket.

the lamps glow steadily. they do not falter.

II.

this is the second lesson you learn: you are never right.

you are childish, gullible, overly prone to tears. you are pedantic, combative, deliberately obtuse. you are lazy, unreliable, never on time.

you’re always making up excuses, rudely interrupting, stepping on people’s shoes. you’re always trying to get attention, never thinking about anyone else, selfish through and through.

it’s you that’s the problem. the lamps are fine.

III.

this is the third lesson you learn: you must always give in.

mother knows best. father knows best. doctor knows best. teacher knows best. this is the proper path. do not go astray.

listen to your elders, respect your betters, accept what’s given to you as your due. bow to the wisdom of experience, the education of the professional, the clarity of an external point of view.

what do you know about lamps, anyway?

[nezzieneu]

[blurry-body-inactive]

woops

[blurry-body-inactive]

:-/

[blurry-body-inactive]

im not doing anything right

[pathologising]

[blurry-body-inactive]

😬

[blurry-body-inactive]

oh we're sharing weird complexes caused by childhood trauma tonight? how about this one:

"i was emotionally neglected and therefore i need attention and love a lot but due to the same neglect i'm terrified of people abandoning me so i'm rude or straight up cruel to people because i'm afraid that they'll hate me but i still need attention"

[hostilesuggestion]

i cannot stress this enough but i am glad you left

you goddamned leech

[hostilesuggestion]

really dont give a fuck if your feelings get hurt by this.