Jesza Mangubat

http://knackoncraft.wordpress.com

[blurryoracle]

when you feel the spark is gone

what do you do?

[blurryoracle]

My Relationship with the Rain

I hear the raindrops, and immediately, I either feel sad or relieved

On days when nothingness consumes me, I feel a sudden sense of comfort when the soft sound of the pitter-patter starts to make its way to my space

It's like a friend coming over to just...be there - be with me

benevolent

non judgmental

not needing to make any sense of what I feel

a friend who just lets me be

a friend who doesn't make a face or an eye roll if I want to stay in bed all day

I can relax without feeling guilty about it

I can be at peace - like the worries of the world are too distant for me to care

I wish I could say that's always the case

Because on other days, when the world is bright and merry in my eyes, a dark shadow looms within me as soon as tiny droplets hit my rooftop

my tiny studio apartment feels much much smaller and the air feels heavy I could hardly breathe

It urges me to disappear

to scream but not really

to cry

Somehow, it makes me feel so alone and lonely

[beyondthefield]

Unmentionable

Let it be that love is just this, simplicity filled with understanding.

An unspoken agreement to quiet grievances, apologies felt, yet unspoken.

Compromises that are on the tip of one's tongue, agreed to in silence.

Shortcomings becoming endearments, things never written about.

Days filled with unspoken, unphotographed, unrecorded moments.

Forgiveness of the worst hurts, the silent heartbreak that remains unmentioned.

Love is filled with these things as well, a laundry list containing sacrifices of the heart.

L. Southard 4/22/22

[blurryoracle]

Sometimes, you just feel fine.

Nothing special happening but nothing bad either.

You get by. You continue to go on as long as the sun shines every day.

On other times, without realizing, a rocket just hits you.

No one else notices but you. How could they, the explosion apparently only exploded within you.

You're even surprised why you still made it out alive.

They call you out for always saying you're tired. You're dying inside.

They call you out for always wanting to sleep. You're trying to heal yourself.

They call you out for always thinking about food. Food is life, of course, and you need it to survive.

-JLM

[justscribbledwords]

“vulnerable is the strongest type of strong i wish to be”

—

justscribbledwords

[uschi-the-listener]

wordless

some days the air on my skin is all the poetry I need . some days my fingers are silent except for running my hands through my own hair . some days all my heart can do is listen and wait and hope . and some days I am all talk talk talk and it spills out onto the page as it is crooked and limping or flowing smooth clean-lipped and golden . today . no flow but plenty of air and I live in my skin dumb as an animal wordless . no judgment incapable of it . here’s me poetry in stillness .

[waadtariq]

“i take myself apart each night unsew worn skin and tear out old scars watch myself disassociate and unbecome stay up late to pick at thoughts take my whole apart where i unravel the skin and see myself in flaws in delicate wills and indelicate truths try to rid myself of myself and create myself anew take bites of who i am and who i’m not and hope my teeth leave marks hope something of me gets lost somewhere between unraveling and putting myself back together wondering all the while if i’m what remains or if i’m what’s gone.”

— i wonder who rests beneath this skin | wt.

[heartofmuse]

Sleep

I remember when I was young and sleep used to come so easily; a Sandman’s kiss every night that would take me to a place of rest and happiness. What is sleep now but a futile attempt to escape the harshness of life so my sanity can be preserved as best it can? What is sleep but a wish that fell out of the ripped pocket of my shirt a while back ago? What is sleep but a turn-off switch I continuously keep to miss. When it comes, sleep is now a sweet hollow lie that drips sweet mirages and razor-sharp kisses of my subconscious mind into my veins. It is now an endless void filled with things my mind can’t understand. It is exhausting nightmares and restlessness. I don’t really know what is worse this insomnia or this sleep that leaves me waiting for the sun. 

e.v.e. 

Written for @sarahmariepardy Pardy Prompt: How well did you sleep last night?

[new-poets-society]

“All she needs is love but she’s afraid of commitment,
She wants someone close but when someone is, all she wants is distance.
She wants to be loved and she wants it to be real, but once it gets serious she’s too scared of how it feels. 
And so she runs,
Too fast and too far from everyone she knows, she’s craving for true love but somehow rather be alone.”

— MelanieMarissen

[blurryoracle]

By Iain S. Thomas

[blurryoracle]

Back to Tumblr because Twitter is getting too crowded

[blurryoracle]

The blurs

[blurryoracle]

[blurryoracle]

March is approaching. The graduation season is approcahing. While it's something to celebrate, and I really am happy for the graduates, I can't help but feel sorry for them, too. I think: You're about to be fucked up with life - like real fucked up.

[blurryoracle]

Isang Letra. Hindi pa. Hindi na. #JuanMiguelSevero #HabamgWalaPaSila #habangwalapasilamgatula

[blurryoracle]

hamiltunes (side a) explained

Alexander Hamilton: the 2009 white house rap feat. everybody

Aaron Burr, Sir: aaron burr doesn't wanna be your senpai alex

My Shot: you know what this song is. everyone knows what this song is. don't act like you don't know what this song is.

The Story Of Tonight: we might all literally die so let's drink and be bros

The Schyuler Sisters: GIRL POWER!!! feat. bustles

Farmer Refuted: ham's dog has more eloquence than samuel seabury

You'll Be Back: george iii is literally the ex you hope never to date in the first place

Right Hand Man: someone please give washington some help. no burr, not you

A Winter's Ball: 20-something males being gross 20-something males

Helpless: eliza is a cinnamon roll too pure, too good for this world

Satisfied: a retrospective soliloquy by a. "i regret this" schuyler

The Story Of Tonight (Reprise): let's drink and be bros at your wedding because we might all literally die

Wait For It: aaron burr do you need a hug

Stay Alive: ham wouldn't have been that inexperienced and ruinous

Ten Duel Commandments: a guide on how to foreshadow ironically, by lin-manuel miranda

Meet Me Inside: george washington would be your senpai if you let him alex

That Would Be Enough: did lotteries even exist back then because ham sure won with eliza

Guns And Ships: i don't know if you're speaking french or english lafayette, slow down un peu oui?

History Has Its Eyes On You: i need help from that guy i fired: a memoir by george washington

Yorktown: "i can't literally die anymore because i might actually have to run a country?? eliza's pregnant???" - alexander hamilton

What Comes Next?: i'm a single independent nation who doesn't need no george iii

Dear Theodosia: those 20-something males are fathers with dreams and hopes for their kids and my god i'm crying

Non-Stop: ham is the actual energizer bunny

[blurryoracle]

hamiltunes (side b) explained

What'd I Miss: thomas jefferson, america's original f*ckboy, is coming home

Cabinet Battle #1: turns out independence ain't cheap

Take A Break: say yes to this emotional threesome alex

Say No To This: you were literally just offered a threesome alex, what are you doing

The Room Where It Happens: "maybe my advice from act one was wrong." - aaron burr

Schuyler Defeated: it's always the quiet ones who tear sh*t up

Cabinet Battle #2: jefferson wants to get cozy with king louis' head

Washington On Your Side: burr, jefferson, and madison want washington as their senpai

One Last Time: you always remember your first (president)

I Know Him: george iii, we broke up years ago. i know john adams isn't perfect, but he's right for right now

The Adams Administration: george washington left two songs ago alex, keep it together

We Know: why are you telling your enemies your secrets hamilton

Hurricane: i've survived worse: a ham-obiography

The Reynolds Pamphlet: this is why you don't your enemies your secrets

Burn: eliza looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you

Blow Us All Away: philip has his mother's cinnamon roll personality and his father's obsession with honor

Stay Alive Reprise: you will never be able to count to ten in french without crying again

It's Quiet Uptown: it's unimaginable how hard you are going to cry listening to this

The Election Of 1800: thomas jefferson, you are a hypocrite

Your Obedient Servant: when did those 20-something males start signing their letters so passive-aggressively in their 40s

Best of Wives and Best of Women: why can't you ever include your wife in your life alex, let her be part of your last day

The World Was Wide Enough: "i survived but i paid for it."

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: eliza got sh*t done and that last harmony are the angels taking her to heaven after 50 years without her hamilton