blake kathryn
Janaina Medeiros
Origami Around
Peter Solarz
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
if i look back, i am lost
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
One Nice Bug Per Day
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER
Three Goblin Art
todays bird
almost home
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izzy's playlists!
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Andulka
tannertan36
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@justscribbledwords
“I started my 20th birthday in tears. I gifted myself fresh cuts and blood dripping down my thighs. The whole day people around me wished me And pretended to be nice. And I hated that. I hated all of it. I didn’t want it. Because honestly I wasn’t planning on making it till my 20th birthday.”
— My 20th Birthday
I wasn’t planning on making it to 29 either
And I still keep on shocking and surprising myself.
Never planned on making it to 30
“I started my 20th birthday in tears. I gifted myself fresh cuts and blood dripping down my thighs. The whole day people around me wished me And pretended to be nice. And I hated that. I hated all of it. I didn’t want it. Because honestly I wasn’t planning on making it till my 20th birthday.”
— My 20th Birthday
I wasn’t planning on making it to 29 either
if i could i would write about the heartbreak you gave me in beautiful words that people would make hallmark cards about it
i am holding onto the moments that are so far away in the past that they dont even serve as good memory
i think karma is not always for the things we have done in the past but also for the things we are going to do. i think it was karma that she broke your heart even though she knew how much she meant to you because the universe knew you were going to break my heart even after knowing what you meant to me and ignoring it like it meant nothing….. like i meant nothing
my mom only speaks in tongue that talks about weightloss success stories and i am always the unsuccessful one
it is easy to call sadness a healthy feeling when you’ve never ever drowned so bad in your spacious airy room,
when the sadness has never drowned you and it has never drained you,
when every breath is a knife in your lungs and a hand squeezing your heart,
when taking 20 days off from college is necessary because you just can’t get out of bed to face the sunlight.
it is easy to call sadness a necessary feeling but not when it is always there like a noose tied around your neck.
pretty sure you wouldn’t say that sadness is necessary to a small child, why would you say that to an adult?
Did love hurt you?
Or was it the person you loved?
Did the person hurt you?
Or was it because they couldn’t love you back?
“You are allowed to”
As a child it set me free
As an adult it gave me an illusion of freedom
i feel like i don’t deserve it, i don’t deserve this ability to write when all i write is painful bits that creep up in broken hearts and settle in the cracks. so what if these words are a relatable, so what if they make some feel less lonely. most days they are just a reminder of the pain we all share by ourselves.
somedays you aren’t my best friend
somedays you are just the boy i fell in love with. somedays you are just the boy who didn’t love me back. so if you say certain things the same way on those days, i break. because i don’t know who i prefer, my best friend or my heartbreak
We feel like an utterly stupid thing to have happened.
But did we ever happen? Were we ever a thing? Something? Anything?
I have spent countless hours trying to decipher the reason of your presence in my life.
The only thing that comes to my mind is how you thought you were holding me in your arms after that kiss
How you thought you had me in your arms and you did
But how I was miles away in my head wanting to be in your arms, physically being there but never actually feeling any warmth
we were a heady combination of i want you and i don’t want you, i want you to want me but i don’t want to want you, i need you yet i’ll never want you. we watched each other suffer, thinking suffering is the only way we could ever be anything to each other, annual birthday wishes and biannual ‘i need you’s’ and triannual ‘save my contact because i want to see your face’. maybe we were a seasonal thing where we loved to make each other miserable for days and left each other alone for months.
you don’t always need to start from scratch. you are allowed to have certain unbroken parts of yourself, even if the rest is unbelievably broken. don’t break everything just because you want to make something new and better of yourself. self help doesn’t necessarily needs to start from self hate.
five more minutes-
i need five more minutes.
five more minutes of that dream i had about you,
about me, about us where it didn’t feel like a dream,
where it didn’t feel like it was a big deal that i was in your arms,
five more minutes of the moment where being with you
felt as normal as being without the need to have a constant daydream to escape reality
if these five more minutes of that dream are too much to ask
then give me five more minutes of the reality
where i mistook your friendship for something more,
where there was anticipation and excitement
and nervousness and fluttering of my heart
as if it was learning to fly,
give me five more minutes of that feeling
give me five more minutes of that bliss
Hug
lets keep each other safe in an embrace
I didnt know where else I could say this so....I have a confession : Elementary school years were the worst. I had major fomo at that time, and it was valid too coz I was always the last friend to know anything. I read somewhere that people are more vulnerable and honest after midnight. So I used to deliberately try to talk to my friends and night, hoping that one day they would spill a secret.
i’ve spend too many midnights
trying to be on the inside
for once, can i be the first or the second
or the third, just not the last
i don’t want to be alone
i just feel like I am missing out
i’ll be the best secret keeper
if only you would let me
I am sorry that you felt left out. If I could, I would give you all my secrets.