her hand goes to her front , pressing down on her chest to prevent the dress from falling down when loosened. eyes blink slow , as if time was no longer in sync with their movements. rough palms move down her back and soft , warm lips find a place on her bare shoulder to kiss. she won’t lie —— even in the haze of her intoxicated mind , this is what she had expected. knowing gage like no other ( no she does not ) , these mannerisms are what she’s familiar with.
‘‘ gage , ’’ she quietly whispers , turning her head over her shoulder if only slightly , her breath caught in her throat for a brief moment. it continues and she’s not sure if she’s ready and at that point where she can stop him. their poor habits have brought them to a place and a moment they often find themselves in. it’s by far not as special anymore , it’s not making varuna excited the way she was years ago , but he still does something to her. whatever it is , is up to sober varuna to figure out.
fingers entwine without having to think twice. ‘’ i’m sorry , ’’ she apologizes at last , nose brushing over his hair from where he’s still busy leaving a trail of kisses on her bare skin. ‘’ will you stay ? ’’
he feels himself slip back into a comfortable place inside his mind. he knows this process all too well, and it comforts him, though he’s unaware of it. the routine they once held, it made him feel at home. but when everything else factored in, their love seemed impossible. he liked being where they are right at this moment; not thinking of technicalities, of what ifs and why nots. the implications of their good moments were what makes everything so wrong, yet so hard to stay away from — for him, for sure, and maybe for her.
gage’s feelings were once genuine. he grew to love her maybe in a rushed fashion, and when everyone warned him of the burnout and crashing down that awaited them, he didn’t listen; he never did listen. gage thrives on acting upon every little impulse he ever has, and though this lead them to their intense love, it also sent them off into their downfall. every little thing that ever bothered him would become a problem, and he could notice her doing it too. there was little compromise at the end, like everything they had worked for didn’t matter anymore.
but in this moment, his head is nowhere near that. his focus is solely on her — or more correctly, her body, every curve and every inch of her skin. his eyes are closed, his lips brush against her skin with gentleness. “ mhm, ” he mutters with little thought. his hands totally welcome hers, giving them a squeeze. it’s like their bodies begin to communicate without their minds interrupting. his lips move closer to her face, kissing now the space behind her ear. he lets go of her hands and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her body against his completely as he takes steps back, reaching the bed which they had shared for all those months.
he feels the edge of the bed on the back of his legs and stops there to turn her around. his eyes focus on her face and he slowly raises his hands to place them on her cheeks. every annoyance he felt about her that night somehow dissipates. he’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or the love he’s so intoxicated by, but it’s no time to question it. still, it isn’t enough; he wants to apologize, but his lips don’t let the words out.
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