bluu @bluu00 - Tumblr Blog

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”

— Juliette Lewis

hey tumblr, it's been a while and happy nee year, i guess. another new year and i'm still struggling what to do in life. ykw? i have this passion again to write the novel i long for to write but i'm still holding back and maybey best friend is right, i don't have enough confidence. ugh, i'm just tired surviving this life. when will I live? what it means to live?

hey tumblr, the universe was mean to me today. i cried. my chest hurts. it hurts. it fucking hurts so much.

hey tumblr, i have so much rage in me that it outweighs my potential to love anyone.

hey tumblr, my emotions are all over the place again. damn it.

hey tumblr, today is my birthday :)

remanence-of-love

hey tumblr, I had that dream again and all I could do was shake in fear and cry for help knowing damn well no one would come. i'm so tired of being haunted.

remanence-of-love

hey tumblr, this week was tough. ;(

hey tumblr, these past few days were so horrible. yk, I dreamed of my ex who ghosted me and the person so SAed me when I was a kid. it was so awful that I kept chanting in my mind 'you're okay. it's okay.' while trembling in fear.

hey tumblr, it's been a while. yk...life's been tough lately. i hope the universe should take it easy for me. it feels like it'll listen then will close its doors. it's so confusing and draining me. may the universe be kind to me, no?

HEY TUMBLR, I HAVE A GOOD NEWS FOR YOU!!! SOOOO, I WAS ABLE TO SECURE A TICKET FOR A FANMEET AND I'M SO OVER THE MOON!!! Just sharing you some good ones 'cause I always tell you the bad ones. Sorry about that. ANW, I'M SO HAPPY TODAY :)

hey tumblr, ykw happened last friday? my father asked for money because he was high blood and I had an anxiety attack coz the last time he asked for money saying he'll buy a slippers, he didn't do it. he lied to me. so...was it bad of me to feel this way? to doubt him? my body reacts on it's own and sure, I can still control it but who knows until when.

hey tumblr, if love finds me again I hope it is someone who can handle any shades of me.

hey tumblr, I was asked if I am dating someone and ykw? I proudly say 'no' and I am not embarrassed to admit it however, their question still haunted me? I was able to love someone. I had past relationships but thinking now...I feel like idk if I am capable of love. If you'd ask me if I can take care of someone or take such lengths, I don't think I'll call it as 'love'. like it's just my pure kindness. idk, man...I feel so confused whether I am capable of loving someone again. that scares me yk...not able to love.

hey tumblr, all those years i'm living i was so busy chasing love to every person around me yet in the end, i no longer care about it. did i just waste so much time? yeah, I did

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