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I’ve made a decision

This account is just going to be deleted. Along with 160kmph. I don’t want to deal with the burden or knowledge of it being around. I know me. I’ll look at it and it’ll just stir up some feelings I can’t deal with.

It’s been a journey. I enjoy rping. I’ve met some incredible people. And I loved where this story was going. But for right now I just need a break.

Being someone that has attempted suicide twice… my mental state is rather fragile. Nothing ever fully covers in all the cracks therefore it’s constantly weak. Any amount of pressure can break it.

I had my first psychotic break yesterday since I’ve been medicated, I’ve been micro-flipping between mania and depression and it’s getting out of hand at this point. Like my medication isn’t even taming it. It’s just too bad and it’s like the more it wobbles the more out of control it’s getting. I just either gotta get some control or I got to let this life go.

To those I’ve talked to I am glad I had the chance to meet you. And to those I silently followed maybe if I make an account in the future we will meet there and speak.

I’m sorry to anyone I ever hurt or let down. And I know I should have probably been gone a long time ago. But I’m stubborn.

Goodbye

I’ve made a decision

This account is just going to be deleted. Along with 160kmph. I don’t want to deal with the burden or knowledge of it being around. I know me. I’ll look at it and it’ll just stir up some feelings I can’t deal with.

It’s been a journey. I enjoy rping. I’ve met some incredible people. And I loved where this story was going. But for right now I just need a break.

Being someone that has attempted suicide twice... my mental state is rather fragile. Nothing ever fully covers in all the cracks therefore it’s constantly weak. Any amount of pressure can break it.

I had my first psychotic break yesterday since I’ve been medicated, I’ve been micro-flipping between mania and depression and it’s getting out of hand at this point. Like my medication isn’t even taming it. It’s just too bad and it’s like the more it wobbles the more out of control it’s getting. I just either gotta get some control or I got to let this life go.

To those I’ve talked to I am glad I had the chance to meet you. And to those I silently followed maybe if I make an account in the future we will meet there and speak.

I’m sorry to anyone I ever hurt or let down. And I know I should have probably been gone a long time ago. But I’m stubborn.

Goodbye

#update

I need to write and get everything out. I do. But I can’t even take time to formulate words right now. I’m just... confused. Lost.

You were how I met my gf

You brought us together.

I don’t want to do this anymore

Also I’ll be deleting this blog. Please understand I have no desire to rp at all now.

This is the worst day of my life

Jonghyun helped me through so much. I loved him with all my being as an inspiration. A beacon of survival through depression. I have attempted suicide more than once and he always was a sense of comfort. Now he’s gone. He’s gone and I don’t want to believe it.

I can’t imagine what his mother and sister must be feeling. The rest of shawols. Idk. This is just too much. He kept me grounded on my worst days. And he was truly a musical genius.

I’m definitely not okay.

#jonghyun #i feel like ive failed you

She’s amazing. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. She’s a goddess.

#.post

@kmxhynah yeah. That sounds good. I have a business event so it might be a little late. I’m entertaining a new client so you know how that goes.

#kmxhynah

fohk

satanistwhore-deactivated201911

#bg #type

Hyuna has me feeling all soft. I wanna cuddle with her under the Christmas tree. Just snuggle under a blanket with some cocoa.

#.post #kmxhynah

Sometimes I have the desire to get married and have a baby.. but I live such a dangerous lifestyle. I’d be scared my wife and child would get hurt.

#.post

Business meeting at a restaurant and I haven’t ate today... you know what that means:

#.post #like the entire menu

I had a dream I put gas in the wrong car. So the car I wanted to take was on E. It was a real nightmare.

#.post #my anxiety

Are my photo to much for you to handle? Your tags say it all

Sometimes they are. Massive turn on. Just wait until I actually have time.

I can’t stop thinking of the little adventure in the VIP room, is all over my head

Good. Keep thinking about it.

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