Bish whet? @blvcksvlver - Tumblr Blog

anxietyproblem

i want to be loved gently. i want to be loved over a bowl of stew. i'm quieter, these days. i don't know that i ever really wanted a loud life anyway, but - i do get tired of being my own support structure. i get tired of having to paint myself brighter. i like the idea of holding someone else's brush. of letting them be my counterpoint, even if that takes trust. and yes; of course i have friends and family and loved ones.

but every once in a while, i think about how nice it would be to make two cups of coffee. i think about going to our local community theatre production just to support anybody on stage. i think about how i want to pack a cooler with little sandwiches cut into triangles and go on a day trip to somewhere new. to explore with somebody. to share that moment where something-is-new.

oh, my life is beautiful, i know that. but sometimes, in the quiet moments, the echo of what-is-gone comes back to me. i remember again the difference of being alone versus being lonely.