And love will always remain between us
Trigger Warnings: Mentions of death
Pairing: Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Characters: Maura Isles, Jane Rizzoli, Original character
Synopsis: Maura gets a visit from someone she never thought she would see again. This visit comes bearing news she was not expecting, but she would soon realise that whatever she held grudges against wouldn't matter anymore.
#rizzoliandislesecretsanta2024 @rizzoliandislesecretsanta
Gift for: @Starkillerbass
Merry Christmas Starkillerbass! I've used part from both of the prompts you've given me (Sort of 😅), but my muses just went down a strange path. I hope you like it and enjoy your Secret Santa. Please forgive any grammatical mistakes and errors.
Also posted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61548790
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Dr. Maura Isles couldn’t believe her eyes, even though all the proofs were there, right before her. The lanky, tall, determined teenager she hadn’t seen in almost a year stood just in front of her. The teen she had met as a small girl had become a beautiful young teen. She had softer features than her mother’s but the same unmistakable expressive chocolate brown eyes and unruly hair, though a light shade of brown. Maura felt her knees go weak. The girl had grown in the year they had been apart, and she thought that, after hell broke loose, she wouldn’t see her gain.
For Maura Isles, it was the profound betrayal she felt; the actual events of that fateful day weren’t what made something break inside her but was what was said and what followed that made her bitter. She had felt throughout her whole life how people came and left her life without much issue. She knew people weren’t meant to stay in her life, it was all fleeting moments and memories. Until that untameable, sarcastic, sassy, but so kind, compassionate and generous woman came into her life and showed her that family wasn’t determined by the blood that flowed through the veins but by the love professed from and to each member, she not only met her best friend in that woman, but she also met the closest thing to a daughter she would ever have, the closes thing to a real mother, one that would go out of her way to make her favourite dish, one that was overbearing and nosy and obnoxious at times, but one that would give her everything to see her happy and healthy, she would even get the closes thing to siblings she would have. She found in her not only her best friend and a family, but she would get to meet what she would say was the love of her life, even if it was unilateral.
The girl looked tired, her hair in a messy ponytail, her face showed she hadn’t slept in a while, absolutely no make-up on, and her clothes had seen better days. She was slouching and nervous. The girl had never been a fashion victim, much like her mother, but she would have a better sense of fashion and wouldn’t leave her house looking uninterested in her appearance.
Maura’s mouth parted open, unable to utter words, partly in surprise at seeing the girl there and partly because she knew something must have happened for the teen to have found her.
“I can’t believe you told Dean!?” Maura growled at the brunette detective. “You went behind my back and told Dean Paddy was my biological father!?... Are you fucking serious?” Her voice was loud and incredulous, trying to understand what was happening. Her mother had been run over, she had been caught in the crossfires of an investigation, her biological father had been shot by her best friend whilst she tried to protect her friend with benefits, and now she came to the knowledge that she had told him who her biological father was after having intercourses. What Maura felt wasn’t anger. It was a pure and utter betrayal.
“Maura I…” Jane began saying but was cut off by the blonde M.E.
“Save it, Jane!” Maura coldly said, “You shot him!”
“Come on, Maura. I had to do it! Paddy showed up out of nowhere,” Jane tried to reason with her.
“You mean the guy that ran my mother over and tried to shoot me, too!” Maura practically screamed.
“We had a handle on the situation before he showed up!” Jane raised her voice as well, getting frustrated.
“Oh! You mean you, Dean had a handle on it? Thanks for letting me know agent Dean was planning to join us!” The blonde spat bitterly. “You know what, I don’t care, I just…. Get lost, Jane,” Maura said, leaving the crime scene. Leaving a very confused and angry brunette.
The days that followed their altercation were a blur. Maura didn’t know how to cope. All the people she knew and considered her family were in her life because of Jane. She had no one to turn to, so she did the only thing she thought would help her. Move away. She avoided everyone, even the teen who had become more her daughter than simply the daughter of her friend. She sent her resignation through the post and began looking for a new horizon in her career. Her immediate first move was to move to a hotel to avoid Angela, who lived in her guest house and who Jane had made choose who she would side with. She chose Jane. She was her real daughter. That was the final nail in Maura’s coffin. She kept tabs on her mother’s stay in the hospital and subsequent rehabilitation. She kept tabs on Paddy, who, shortly after his release from the hospital, was put into Jail all the way across the country. She left a letter for the girl and nothing else. She vanished from Boston.
Now, there she was, the girl standing in front of her, and she was unable to speak. “Hi,” the girl whispered, standing still in front of the surprised doctor. She had rehearsed this encounter since she left Boston the previous day. But now, now she didn’t know how to speak. She hadn’t seen this woman in almost a year, she tried to look for her, God knows she tried as much as she could, but to no avail, she couldn’t. She gave up a month after the woman had left. Until one day, almost three months after her Aunt’s disappearance, her mother had a seizure in the kitchen while talking to her uncle Frankie about the current score of the Red Sox against the Yankees.
A whirlwind of medical tests followed, only to discover a tumour, one in an area of the detective’s brain that they couldn’t operate. Jane had complained for weeks about headaches and being more tired than usual, having difficulty waking up and less focus at work. But all those symptoms were attributed to the stress she had been under since the warehouse disaster. Now, she was at the hospital, holding onto all the strength she could to be able to see that blonde M.E. again. And her daughter was determined to make that one last wish come true.
“Cla…Claire,” Maura mouthed, not trusting her words.
The girl nodded. “I know you might not want to see me, but…” The girl began saying but was stopped by a bone-crushing hug. One she had been craving for almost 12 months.
“You still use the same perfume?” The girl said, drowning in the familiar scent.
Maura separated herself from the teen, who was already almost an inch taller than her. She took a long look at her before speaking, placing her hand sweetly on the girl's cheek. “How did you… What are you doing here?” Maura asked, her eyes glassy and with unshed tears.
The girl swallowed thickly and leaned into the familiar warmth of the touch “I managed to find your mother and asked her,” She simply said, smirking lightly.
Maura nodded and made the girl step into the house. The teen took a brief look around the living room. Beautifully and elegantly decorated. Maura nudged her to sit on the couch. She wanted to ask many questions, but principally, she wanted to know what the teen was doing at her house. She knew something had happened. The blonde took the hands of the teen in hers
“Mama’s dying,” The teen simply said before letting out tears.
The doctor was taken aback, and her eyebrows raised in surprise and disbelief. “What?” She blurted out without even noticing the words coming out of her mouth. She felt as if the hair had been sucked out of her longs by a blunt force.
The girl simply nodded and looked down. Maura sharply inhaled. Her lungs felt like lead. Breathing was hard for her right there. “What do you mean, sweetie?” She managed to ask.
“She got something called GBM.” The teen said, looking back up to the blonde. Now, two fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Maura gently wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“Glioblastoma Multiforme” Maura’s heart sank at the thought of the illness she knew was, in most cases, a death sentence. Maura took a deep breath before being able to speak again. “Since when?”
The girl looked down. “Since August.” She said, looking at her hands on her lap, enveloped in the soft hands of the older woman. “She fainted one day out of the blue, and it took the doctors a couple of weeks to understand why,” She explained.
Maura nodded; she had many questions in her head, so many she couldn’t prioritise with one to ask first: “What have the doctors said?” She asked, being purposely vague so the girl could be able to give her any information she felt comfortable sharing.
“It’s bad,” She said, letting another tear roll down her cheek. “I know you and Ma aren’t friends anymore, but I…but I need you. I am going to lose Ma; I can’t lose you too.” The girl practically pleaded, looking at the woman with bloodshot eyes.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Maura shushed the girl and cupped her face between her hands. “That doesn’t matter,” she said, looking intently into the chocolate eyes of the girl. “Whatever happens, I will be there for you…I’m sorry I left how I did. Things were...complicated, but it doesn’t matter. Whatever you need, I’m here, sweetie; I am not going to leave you ever again,” She said, finally taking her hands from the girl’s cheeks and hugging her. Claire was practically sitting on Maura’s lap by now, holding on to the blonde for dear life.
The girl sniffled. “She loves you”, She whispered in the hiding crook of Maura’s neck.
Finally, Maura released the tears she had been holding since she opened the door. “I love her too,” Maura truthfully said resting her cheek on the messy hair of the girl.
Claire shook her head. “No, she’s in love with you,” she said barely above a hushed whisper.
Maura nodded and softly chuckled. “Me too,” she said, not releasing her hold on the girl.
“Then why did you two just drift away?” Claire asked. Maura sat silently, her mind racing. She had buried her pain and resentment under layers of logic and distance, but hearing Claire’s plea cracked something open inside her. Jane, the woman who had been her other half in so many ways, was dying. And despite everything, Maura knew she couldn’t ignore this call.
“We didn’t know what to do with our feeling and the circumstances” She said almost cryptically. Maura broke the hug to look at the girl. “Things were complicated and messy, and we didn’t know what to do with our feelings and what happened that day…I promise I will explain myself,” Maura said truthfully. “Now, let's go home,” She simply said, standing up and holding her hand out for the girl to grab it.
A few hours later, both Maura and the girl were en route to Boston. They had still more than 8 hours to reach Boston. Maura felt a strange bliss having Claire sleeping beside her with her head resting against the window. But she was torn. She couldn’t believe Jane had a tumour in her brain and, as per the girl’s words, was about to die. Her heart was heavy. The pain and the emptiness that had been living in her were weighing heavily on her. She had spent months trying to bury herself with work so she wouldn’t remember those last words they said to each other. Both spiteful and rageful, all said in the heat of the moment and with little care. The M.E. had gone over those words many times, to the point of having them memorised. They hurt still, but not for the same reason, but because they weren’t capable of putting their pride and own hurt aside and resolve the issue. They simply carry the hurt and let it drive their emotions on high.
She looked to the said and extended her hand to take a strand of flyaway hair from the girl’s face and tucked it behind her ear. She could still remember the day she met Jane, dressed as a prostitute, fighting with Stanley at the Division One Café because she couldn’t find her wallet to pay for coffee and pancakes for the kid. And she couldn’t forget the indignant face of the woman and the sparkle in the eyes of the little girl with two pigtails bouncing next to her. Maura drove the whole night, only stopping to fill her gas tank. As the sun started rising on the horizon she could see the outline of the city that held a piece of her heart and many memories. She was also beginning to feel the exhaustion in her body. She has been driving for 11 hours straight. She could only imagine the journey the girl must have done to reach her. Claire confessed to her that she had come to find her without telling her mother and had vaguely told Angela her plan. But the girl’s goal was to reach her for her mother and herself.
As they started to hit some early morning traffic getting into the city, the girl woke up, her left hand being warmly held by the woman’s hand. “Hey,” She said
“Hey,” Maura said with a faint smile appearing across her lips. “Where to?” she then asked, holding her smile in place at the sight of those sleepy eyes that still carried that childlike sparkly.
“Mass general,” she said, sighing.
Maura nodded and drove towards the hospital. She was equally dreading and dreaming about the moment that she would be able to lay eyes on that slim, strong and caring woman, the moment she would be able to lay eyes on those unruly, messy, and so full curls, the moment she would be able to see those dimples that appear on the face of the woman every time she faintly smiled at her. She wanted to see her and be able to be sincere in herself and her feelings for each other.
It was a cold morning, colder than they had anticipated. Maura and Claire finally arrived at the hospital. Jane was lying in her bed, pale and thin, the once sharp edge of her features dulled by the illness. She didn’t know Maura was on her way. Claire guided her to the hospital room Jane was in. The teen door creaked open, and Maura stood in the doorway, her eyes scanning the room before settling on Jane. It felt like a lifetime had passed, but the bond between them had never entirely broken. Not truly.
Time seemed to stand still. Maura was trying to understand the scene before her eyes. Jane, the once strong, athletic and passionate woman who had saved her many times, laid in bed, thinner and paler than she had ever seen her, the signs of the illness obvious in her battered body. She even looked small in the hospital bed. Jane, the indomitable detective who had faced down serial killers and stared death in the face countless times, was fighting an unwinnable battle.
Claire walked in first, leaving Maura at the door, without noticing the tears that fell from the doctors’ eyes. “Hi, Mama,” the teen whispered, caressing her mother’s cheek. Slowly, the brunette opened her eyes, locking her gaze with the sight of her daughter.
“Hey, baby girl,” She said, her voice hoarse from the months of sickness. The woman, with a lot of difficulty, raised her hand to caress the girl’s cheek. Claire showed a faint smile and adverted her gaze towards the door. Making her mother look in the same direction. But she was surprised by the figure at the door. “Maur,” She whispered incredulously. There was disbelief in her tone as if she had imagined the moment.
“She’s here, Ma” Claire smiled at her mother.
Maura finally was able to gather enough courage to walk into the room; she decided to be bold and approach the bed directly, “I’m here,” Maura said simply, her voice filled with both sadness and relief.
Jane looked confused at her daughter, who smiled at her and nudged her to look back at the blonde who was standing next to her hospital bed. “I didn’t think I would see you again,” Jane admitted, her own tears threatening to fall. “Not after what I did.”
Maura shook her head while she cleaned the tears that had made their way down her cheeks. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.” The room was silent for a long moment, the tension palpable, but neither woman could deny what had always been there.
“I don’t know how to make up for what happened,” Jane finally spoke, her voice shaking. “I was selfish, and I hurt you… I hurt us. But Maura, I need you to know…” She faltered, her hand reaching out, trembling. “I love you. I always have.” Jane’s voice was small, the weight of her regret pressing down on her. “I don’t expect you to forgive me right now. I just needed you to know. I’m sorry.”
Maura’s chest tightened. The words were both a balm and a wound, a truth that had been buried for so long. “Jane,” Maura began. “What happened is not important right now. The only thing that matters is that we are together right now, and we’ll never be apart again,” Maura reassured. “I didn’t know how much I needed you until you weren’t there,” Maura admitted, her tears falling freely now. “And then I was too proud to come back.”
Jane’s hand tightened around hers, surprising Maura with its strength. “I’m the one who pushed you away. I broke us, Maura,” Jane hoarsely said before looking back at the hazel eyes that were now brimming with unshed tears “I was so afraid of losing you, so I didn’t let myself... didn’t let you see how I really felt.”
“You don’t have to say it,” Maura whispered. “I know.”
“No, you don’t.” Jane’s voice wavered, but she pushed through. “I love you, Maura. Not just as a friend. I’ve always loved you.”
Tears filled Maura’s eyes. “Jane...” Maura leaned closer, her forehead resting against Jane’s. “I love you too, Jane. I always have, and I always will.” For the first time in almost a year, they found solace in each other. Jane’s lips trembled as Maura gently pressed a soft, chaste kiss to her forehead. It was a kiss filled with longing, forgiveness, and the deep bond they had always shared. Jane closed her eyes, letting herself feel the warmth of Maura’s presence, something she had missed for so long.
They remained with their hands together for a little while, just taking in everything that had unfolded, not only in the past 24 hours but in the past months since the last time they were together. Jane closed her eyes for a few minutes, the exhaustion of the emotions coming to her like a crashing wave.
The hospital was quiet that early morning. Claire decided to go to grab some coffee for herself and Maura, not without giving her mother a kiss on the cheek and a strong and long hug to Maura. She left the room to give her mother and Maura much-needed time alone. Jane rested, her breathing uneven but steady. Maura sat beside her, their hands intertwined, neither of them wanting to let go.
Jane opened her eyes a little late, and she broke the silence, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re still here.”
Maura smiled softly. “Of course, I am here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Jane studied her, her eyes heavy with emotion. “You’re still so beautiful,” she murmured.
A blush rose to Maura’s cheeks, but her heart ached at the vulnerability in Jane’s voice. She leaned in slightly, her gaze locking with Jane’s. “I missed you so much,” she said, her voice trembling.
Jane raised a shaky hand, brushing a strand of Maura’s hair behind her ear. “I missed you too.”
For a moment, they were lost in each other’s presence, the weight of the past year melting away. Maura leaned closer, their foreheads touching, before pressing a soft, chaste kiss on Jane’s lips. It was brief, gentle, and filled with unspoken promises.
When Maura pulled back, Jane’s eyes glistened with tears. “I think that was worth waiting for,” she said with a faint smile.
Maura let out a quiet laugh, her own tears falling freely. “I’m just sorry it took this to finally be able to taste your lips.”
Jane’s smile faded slightly, and her expression grew serious. “Maura…there’s something I need to ask you.”
“Anything,” Maura replied without hesitation.
Jane took a deep breath, her fingers tightening slightly around Maura’s. “Claire… she’s going to need someone. Someone who’ll love her, guide her, and keep her safe when I’m not here anymore.”
“Jane…” Maura tried to interject, but Jane didn’t let her.
“Please, Maura,” Jane interrupted gently, her voice breaking. “Promise me you’ll take care of Claire. She adores you, and I know you’ll give her the kind of love and stability she deserves. You’ve been her mother, too. Since you met us, you have always been there for her,” Jane pleaded.
Tears streamed down Maura’s face as she nodded. “I promise,” she said, her voice firm despite her trembling lips. “I’ll be there for her, always. You don’t have to worry about that.”
Relief washed over Jane’s face, and she exhaled slowly. “Thank you. That means everything to me.”
Maura leaned down, brushing her lips gently against Jane’s lips again, this time deepening the kiss before separating, indulging in the sweet taste of her lips. “You mean everything to me,” she whispered. They stayed like that for a little, wrapped in the warmth of each other’s presence, the past and the future set aside. Maura leaned in closer, her hand cradling Jane’s face. “And you don’t have to thank me,” she said softly. “I love her too, Jane. She’s as much a part of my heart as you are.”
Jane raised a shaky hand to brush a strand of hair from Maura’s face, her fingers lingering for a moment on her cheek. “You’ve always been my constant, Maura. Even when I screwed up, you were always there.”
“And I always will be,” Maura whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
Jane’s eyelids grew heavy, exhaustion settling over her. “Stay with me?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“Always,” Maura said, pressing a kiss to Jane’s forehead.
But before she closed her eyes, Jane’s dark eyes searched Maura’s face as if committing every detail to memory. Her gaze softened, and with a trembling hand, she cupped Maura’s cheek. “I need to do one thing once more,” she said.
Before Maura could respond, Jane leaned forward, her lips brushing softly against Maura’s again. This kiss was tender, chaste, and fleeting, yet it held years of unspoken emotions. Love, regret, longing, and hope.
When they pulled apart, Maura rested her forehead against Jane’s, tears slipping down her cheeks. “I love you,” she whispered.
Jane smiled weakly. “I love you too. I always have.” As she drifted off into a light sleep.
“And I always will” Maura stayed by her side, holding her hand and silently vowing to honour Jane’s wish to be there for Claire, to carry on their love, and to ensure Jane’s memory lived on in every moment they shared.
