SECRET AFFAIRS ౨ৎ part 2
-zhao yufan
synopsis:: ever since your rough and turbulent break up with your boyfriend, james, he has been determined to prove that he will stop at nothing to get you back; no matter how low he has to stoop. and you swore to yourself that you would never give in. but after multiple intimate altercations between you two at a casual meetup in your mutual friends house, which lead to a situation not even you thought would take place, how will things turn when you finally fall victim to your ex boyfriend’s endless teasing and temptation?
content: miniseries, james x black!fem reader, exes to lovers, lowkey spike and buffy (btvs season 6) inspired/coded with the one sided yearning, reader is in love with james but is really good at hiding it, suggestive content, smutty, implied sex
authors note: omgg guys i felt like i left on an awkward note, this is lowkey kinda shit but i finished this part here cause i feel like nobodys gonna wanna read this far 😭 anyways tell me if u want a prt 3
prt1 prt2
his hands inched even deeper up your shorts under your skirt, a gasp leaving your lips as they reached the waistband of your panties, trying your best not to arch into his grip. the more he tried to tease you with his fingers, the more you felt yourself beginning to melt into his touch. the heat of his hand felt electric against your once cold inner thigh, causing a humiliating wetness to start forming inbetween your legs.
you could tell that he had sensed this, as his hand moved downwards to your pussy, patting the soft material of your panties, feeling the wetness of your fluids started to seep through, your thighs clenching together involuntarily.
“god baby, so wet for me”, james spoke, his breath hot and steamy on your neck, the sensation of butterflies flooding your stomach. the nickname baby made your heart skip one too many beats, the immediate nostalgia from your relationship came flooding back. you thought you’d be used to it since even after the break up, he had always given you pet names, such as “love”, “angel” or “sweetheart” . but the “baby” he spoke oh too softly for your already melting heart struck a cord with you heavily, in which he had not used that particular name for a long time.
but despite how heartwarming this touch was, not only did it bring feelings of comfort, but distress and negativity too. you hated how easily you would fold for james; sometimes you felt like he thought that you were easy, like if he eventually tried hard enough, he’d finally get it in with you, and honestly, sometimes, that was what you wanted. you never wanted anything more than to have james kiss you senseless, to have him take your ability to walk and make you scream in all the ways that no other guy could; could but deep down your insecurities about your past relationship with him would never let that happen. you didn’t know whether he truly loved you, or whether he was just playing you to see how far he could take it.
“tell me how much you want this y/n, tell me how much you want my co-“ you jolted up quickly, roughly pushing his hand out of your pants, far enough to knock him backwards to the point where you could frantically clamour for the bathroom door without him pulling you back into his grip. you ran out so fast, you weren’t even bothered to close the door behind you because of how quickly you wanted to get out of there.
your footsteps trudged against the staircase slowly, in the hopes that nobody would question you about what had just happened a few moments before. it was like the atmosphere in the room dropped.
“whats up y/n?”, your friend questioned. “you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“like literally”, you heard someone else chime in.
they giggled before you, almost mocking like, clearly unaware of the travesty that you had just experienced upstairs. if they known that you were about moments away from getting finger fucked by james, the whole room would engage in uproar, you thought to yourself. you wanted to chime back, but nothing much came out, nothing that would make you look less suspicious than you clearly already were.
you heard light footsteps behind you, which could have only belonged to james, as the laughter within the group started to simmer down. you couldn’t tell what was more embarrassing; the confused, curious stares directed towards you and james, or the feeling that everyone had started to catch up on what was really going on. a warm, yet soft touch of one of james’ fingers rested lightly on your back, softly stroking the material of your top, trying his best to tease you and make you crack. you were lucky that you and him were stood at a specific angle so that nobody could notice this action, knowing that if anyone did, they would never let it go.
you had thought nobody noticed it, but a few had noticed you tense up when james moved closer towards you on the staircase.
“well this was definitely on my bingo card”, you heard one of the others yell, insinuating that everyone thought you and james had had sex.
“we’re exes, not jackrabbits”, james bit back quickly, a layer of confidence taking over his voice , surprised at how determined he was to keep the last ten minutes a secret as if he wasn’t practically fingering you before.
“riiiight, riiight, riight”, they replied back, clearly unconvinced by his excuse.
you rolled your eyes, trudging down towards the couch as you sat down, releasing a very heavy breath that you didnt even know you were holding in. you noticed james making his way towards his original position, the couch opposite you, giving you a wink as he caught you staring.
you looked away instantly, as a light blush crept onto your face, a strong warmth spreading across your cheeks, as you roughly bit your lip to stop yourself from making any expression.
a sudden vibration on your lap, which could have only been from your phone immediately took your attention. you grabbed it out of your pocket and frantically tapped the screen, just to find one notification from james. you had always thought to delete his number, especially since you and him didn’t talk as much as you used to; but at the same time, since you and him were in the same friendship group, you knew it would be best to get used to the forced proximity between you guys and get used to it.
the text had read “caught you staring ;)”, with a wink at the end. again, the blush that had once faded arose again, like two hot saucers on your cheeks, getting you more hot and bothered than you ever were before. you whipped your head up to face him again, to find his eyes directly laser focused onto you, a smirk plastered on his lips, so smug that you wanted to smack him. why did he have to make you feel like this?
hurriedly, you broke eye contact with him, turning off your phone, shoving it into the side pocket of your skirt, sinking further down into the chair.
“hey, y/n”, your friend whispered next to you. “you’ve been quiet and all night. like zoning out and all that shit. you okay?”
you nodded, forcing a smile through your lips, hoping that she wouldn’t question you any further, because you weren’t in the mood for further drama and speculation about you and james. as far as you were concerned, the night had barely started, and you were already drained.
“is this something to do with you and james?”, she questioned further, your face dropping ever so slightly. you cursed her ever so slightly, shushing her down quietly, praying for her to be quieter, even in spite of how loud the room was. but from this, it had become clear to her. she smirked at you, a small giggle escaping her lips.
“no wonder why your is face so red”, she spoke, pinching your cheek, causing you to lightly slap her hand away.
“its not like that”, you said.
“it so is”, she replied.
“you know, it all makes sense”, she continued. the sneaking off, the eye contact, the touches. i’ll even be surprised if you two haven’t secretly been hooking up”.
“i wouldn’t do that”, you told her, knowing full well that you completely would.
“yes you would, you’re so obsessed with him, not matter how hard you try to hide it. “ she replied.
you rolled your eyes, annoyed at how something that came out of your friends mouth could be so infuriating but so true at the same time.
“see? anyways, speaking of james, what happened when you two were upstairs?”
“not what you think happened.”
“well clearly something did, i mean you two literally looked so suspicious when you guys came downstairs, not to mention the fact that you two came down together.
“that means nothing.”
“yes it does. it means everything. and its not the first time. and even if anything did happen, it’s not anything to feel horrible about”.
your mind went back to the first time you and james had been rumoured to have been hooking up ever since you two split, after a house party in james’ house, which someone had gotten a little too drunk and had managed to get injured after willingly jumping off a balcony in the hopes that he would end up in his big 10 foot pool in his back yard. after that, since he felt like it was his responsibility to take them to the hospital, you had thought that it would be nice for you to go along with him in order to ease the awkwardness between you two and get used to being around him more often. on that night, you and james had come home at three in the morning, which the entire friend group had made sure to make note of, stating that it was suspicious that you and him came home so late, suggesting that you and him booked a hotel to have sex without any interruptions, in which you two denied instantly. from then, you felt like being around him just felt like rehashing an old strange connection.
“it was nothing, just james being as touchy as usual”, you informed her.
“touchy? how touchy?”, she queried, furrowing her brows, assuming there were many things you werent telling her. as her best friend, you felt as if it was necessary to be honest with her from now on; especially since you’ve been lying to her for ages now.
even if you weren’t going to like the outcomes.
you grabbed her up and pulled her to the kitchen, as you could ensure that it was far enough to the point where nobody else could hear the conversation.
“so, when you mentioned james being touchy towards you in the bathroom, how touchy was he? was it like, crazy touchy, or like mild, touchy?”
“well, it was a few moments after i entered the bathroom, he pinned me to the wall, we exchanged words and eventually, he ended up sort of well, fingering me, well almost; i ran away before he could get that far.”
her face turned, a mixture of shock, disgust and curiosity all in one. tmi never existed in your guys’ friendship, in which you could tell eachother the most insane things, but still support one another, no matter how horrible it sounded. she stayed silent for a few moments, still obviously processing the newly found information, her mouth hung open slightly. you didnt know whether she was going to hug you, congratulate you, or further question you on what you just told her, as her expression was incredibly unreadable.
“ fingering?! i knew that tensions were high between you two but fingering is on another level. but, seeing both of you hurry towards the bathroom one after the other was very telling to me, so again, im not surprised. i mean, he looks at you like you’re the only girl in the room. it’s so hot.”
“well, when your ex is still after you months after you two break up and makes it aware of the fact that he still wants you and you still want him, its pretty hard to keep away unscathed for long. and he always gives me those looks; especially today.
“so thats why you snuck off earlier?”
“yeah.”
“how much have i missed? with information like this, i wonder how much other things i dont know that have been going on.”
“well,” you told her, voice cracking a little, knowing that now was time to reveal something even bigger towards her.
“there is one really big thing i haven’t told you”.
“how big?”
“groundbreaking type of big.”
“well,” she said. “go on then.”
“me and james had sex a few months ago after we broke up.”
“WHAT?!”
you nodded, ashamed yet relieved that you finally told her this after ages of lying. it was like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders.
she smiled, quickly pulling you into a hug. you could tell how happy she was as she slowly bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, her hands still resting on your shoulders after she finished hugging you.
“i have soo many questions. how, when, why? and why didn’t you tell me sooner? i mean i get that i get a little crazy everytime i hear new info about you and james, but, i didnt think i was that crazy.”
“well, it was on this one night at a party. things had gone really similar to the way things were tonight, you know, with the sexual tension, a brush of the knee, a shared look. and one thing turned into another and he took me upstairs, and it sort of just, happened.
“no way.”
“yes way.”
“you lost your virginity to james? thats so insane.”
“well, when we were hot and heavy, i got all swept up in the moment, and thats why i didn’t tell you for a few months. i was ashamed of myself, and i hoped that me and him could forget about it. but i felt so guilty not telling you.”
“no wonder why it seemed like you and him left so early. i remember when you didn’t text me that whole night. i assumed that you were getting it in with someone, but i was not expecting it to be james, well not yet anyway.”
you had remembered that night again. you and james had went off to a private room upstairs, one that had clearly been untouched for really long time, and was clearly only used for special occasions. because of this, you knew nobody would find you and him; and you guys used that to your advantage. after a few long hours, or rounds, you and him decided that it was best to leave quickly, especially since the premises had probably already been abandoned or cleaned out. thankfully by that time it was only 2 in the morning, a time early enough to the point where some were still in the house, but also late enough to the point where you guys could leave together and not get questioned. ever since that night, james made it his mission to make you’re you and him got back together. obviously, you never really gave him the time of day.
ever since these few months, all you have been doing is trying to regain your sanity after that one night.
“i’m sorry”. you told her.
“its nothing much to be ashamed of. and either way, you don’t have to tell me your private business all the time, even if we are best friends. but i’m glad that you were comfortable enough to tell me. i wouldn’t want you to ever feel forces or pressured to speak up about something like that, especially if you felt ashamed, y/n.”
she leant in forward, bringing you into a close warm hug, patting her hand along your back, comforting you. you had always loved how she never judged you for your decisions, even if they were horrible in the moment. she was always the most understanding friend you ever had, and sometimes you hated the way you took her for granted.
“i have so much more questions for you. but we should go back to the group, especially since it’s seemed like the movie’s ended. we don’t want them to question anything right? and i swear, i wont breathe a word of this to any soul.”
you nodded slowly, as she grabbed your hand and pulled you back to the living room, letting out a relieved sigh.
at least from now on, you had made an effort to tell the truth at all times, even if it would embarrass you.
