they donât know bout us (not like that anyways)
idol!james x idol!reader (fluff + a makeout scene!nosurprisesthere)
your name was mentioned in an interview once when cortis was asked who do they go to whenever theyâre having a hard time.
while the rest answered the other members or seek solace from family members, james mentioned you without hesitation.
âoh, how so?â the interviewerâs voice quipped with curiousity.
you just smiled, watching their group interview video while he stammered over his own words, trying to explain what exactly he meant.
âi-i just meant weâve known each other since we were trainees and i find her comfortingâ
the boy shifted uncomfortably in his seat, hyper-aware of his membersâ gaze now before continuing, âi mean i find her words comforting in tough times and weâre good friends, thatâs all.â
âoh theyâre really good friends, for sure.â martin added with a snicker, the rest giving their eldest hyung a knowing smile.
the interviewer laughed in response, âreal good friends, huh?â
twitter was up in flames the day the interview was released.
prior to the charismatic and heart-strucking james of cortis everyone sees, youâve known him before the idol persona, even before he was james of trainee a, when he was just zhao yu fan. days where he was your yu fan before he became everyone elseâs james.
having trained together for years, chasing the same dream and practically growing up within the mirrors of the dance studio. somewhere in between striving to be the best and surviving to make the cut, seeds of friendship were planted and slowly, it blossomed into something precious.
in the form of late night dance sessions.
in the form of cheek straining laughs and mindless rambles.
in the form of convenience store ramen eat-outs at 3 am.
in the form of thrifting on your day-offs.
in the form of late night hangouts by the han river.
you were one of the very few trainees who could speak chinese so conversation flowed naturally. back then, you often act as a translator between him and the other trainees cause apparently james has a track record for being intimidating, so you being the bridge, really helped soften his perceived image. although he said it didnât matter much to him, saying how he only cares how you think about him.
âokay but doesnât it bother you everyone is somewhat scared of youâ, swirling your straw in between your fingers as you watched james stretched across from you.
âi only care about how you think so no.â he said, in a matter of fact tone, earning him an eye roll from you, completely ignoring the implication of his words.
james doesnât express his feelings outwardly, he rarely does but instead he disguises them as jokes, lighthearted enough as to not ruin the atmosphere. but whenever he does tells you how he really feels, and heâd do it spontaneously too, you take it to heart and keep it there, for safekeeping purposes, obviously.
âyou know being with you made me less homesickâ he casually said, slurping his ramen.
you stared at him momentarily, eyes softening before smiling to yourself. âi donât feel lonely whenever iâm with you too, yu fan.â
âyouâre cute when you blushâ his hand reaching to pinch your cheek, before you swat him away.
being each otherâs safety net and showing up when worst comes to worst. when the news of trainee a dropped, you held him in your arms, hands running up and down his back, his form shaky under your hold.
âäžèŠçŠ»ćŒæâ (donât leave me), whispering against your shoulder, the crack in his voice made you held him closer, a silent reassurance youâll always be there no matter what.
âdo you think weâd make it someday?â you blurted out suddenly, flinching at the sound of your own voice. the dance studio was empty, with just the two of you.
james stopped what he was doing and turned to face you. from his point of view, you were sitting on the floor, nitpicking your nails when clearly thereâs nothing wrong with them, shoulders tense, head hugging your knees. a heavy question to ask in their line of work, with no certainty underneath and thatâs what makes it so terrifying.
the soft call of your name made you look up, not realising he had joined you on the floor and james was so close, you could feel his warm breathe. yet all you could focus on how his hands came up to cradle your face, and somehow this feels right. under his honeyed gaze, his warm touch, your worries slowly melted away.
âof course, we promised each other we would.â he gently whispered, smiling to himself. you couldnât describe the look behind his eyes, he looked so vulnerable in the moment as his thumb brushed against the small pout on your lips. praying to god he canât hear how hard your heart is beating right now. his eyes dropped to your lips for a brief moment before looking back at you, then pressing a kiss on your forehead.
âyouâre stuck with my dumbass, remember?â
nothing changed when you both debuted in your respective groups. frequently mentioning each other on socials, asking fans to show support for each otherâs comebacks. even when schedules become hectic, you two always make time for each other. facetime calls while eating, making plans on trying new restaurants when the other gets back. the boys would typically interrupt these calls by either acting weird at the background or pestering james until he pays attention to them.
one time, your group and cortis were promoting on inkigayo at the same time. as much as you told him not to, he still showed at your dressing room, bags of coffee in hand for your members and staff. in the hectic of the moment, james was able to steal you away, under the excuse he needed someone to take his pictures.
âi told you not to comeâ
âthank god i never listen to you.â he sneered, hand-in-hand as both of you walked down the hallway to cortisâ dressing room.
the minute the door opened, bursts of screams and laughter erupted. you bowed to the staffs upon entering, profusely apologizing for the intrusion. hugging the boys one by one, martin was just hooting all the while waiting for his turn. conversation immediately struck up with them asking how you were and every topic in between. over the years youâve been friends with james, slowly you got to know the rest of the boys too. the feeling almost maternal, seeing them all grown up, chasing the same dream you have.
you were so caught up in the conversation that you didnât noticed james was staring at you until keonho pointed it out.
âah hyung, stop staring at her like thatâ his tone lighthearted and teasing, and james just played it cool, pretending to avert his gaze elsewhere, clearly caught redhanded.
âyou know noona, me and james hyung recently wrote a song together, i think youâd like itâ martin was doing everything in his power not to smile, and your gaze was focused on him, clearly missing james sending the boy glares from across the table. opting to investigate further just then your manager texted, needing you to come back.
âyou didnât have to walk me back, itâs just a few feet awayâ
âyeah i know but i wanted toâ james replied, just arriving to the door of your dressing room. one hand leaning on the door frame, james wished you and your group goodluck.
âiâll be watching and cheering the loudestâ you let out a soft laugh, cocking your head to side, signalling him to go back. as you turned to enter, you heard him call out.
âä»ć€©çć°äœ ćŸæŒäșźâ
true to his word, him and the boys did cheer the loudest from backstage. hooting and hollering like a bunch of wild monkeys, even louder when your group passed them in the hallways.
living in the spotlight has its cons of course. every item of clothing, every jewellery down to your shoes are observed closely. style pages would post what brands you wore for events, airport walkouts, stages and concerts. sometimes itâs normal to coincidentally have the same clothes as other idols.
whatâs not normal is seeing the similarities and then hop on twitter, accusing you of dating each other. imagine seeing your name on the platformâs trending list because a fan spotted you wearing jamesâ vivienne westwoods earrings during your airport walkout earlier.
did you borrowed it from him? absolutely.
does he know you borrowed it? no.
is it true that youâre dating? next comment.
that same night, you sent a message on weverse, simplying saying he lend them to you cause it matched with your outfit that day. as soon as you did, a notification popped up.
âSO THATâS WHERE MY EARRINGS WENTâ
âæćæ„æ¶, iâll give them backâ
âdo that too when you come backâ
âdonât push your luck, yu fanâ
the next day, cortis was heading to the airport and james was spotted wearing a particular red baseball cap, identical to the one you had. not to mention, you frequently wore it too, so much so that you had a collaboration with the brand. yet again, it was all twitter could talk about. it wasnât long when jamesâs phone pinged with a text message from you.
âat this point, youâre doing it on purpose.â
âit matched my fit and i look hella good tooâ he typed back.
âok but out of all the caps in world.â
âyou have good taste, what can i say.â
as promised you gave him back his earrings, alongside with a vintage jacket you found while thrifting in london. letâs just say heâs more open with you borrowing his stuff now.
convenience ramen hangouts arenât as frequent as it was before, instead it evolved to late nights in the studio. itâs much more private and peaceful, unlike the other aspect of your lives. james had asked you to accompany him in their recording studio, so you did just after a a quick takeout run.
opening the door to see a slumping figure of james zhao, he practically shot up from the couch before relaxing seeing itâs just you. you dropped the takeout bag on the table, shrugging off your jacket before joining him on the couch. like a cat curled up to you, james laid his head comfortably on your lap and on instinct your hands brushed his hair softly.
the quiet was interrupted when you asked him about the song martin mentioned before. his eyes comically open up and shot up from his position like a cartoon character. he adjusts his cap before mumbling itâs nothing but one thing you wonât accept is no for answer. when james turned around to look at you, all he was met with was a small pout in your lips, arms crossed, eyes on the floor, anywhere but his.
he chuckled, seeing you sulk like a child. he, while reluctant, pulled out his phone.
âbut you have to promise not to laughâ
not long, a sultry but soft R&B track filled the studio, caught you off guard. a totally different vibe than his other drafts, this feels warm and intimate. right off the bat, you could somewhat understand what the song was about and the lyrics that followed only confirms what you were thinking.
twisting together continuously, love
calling each other's names, love
we ain't gotta fall in love
as the song progressed, james watched your expression like a hawk. you didnât realized how fitting his voice was for this type of genre. it was hypnotising even.
at the end of every word, love
at the end of every word, you
the tension in the room was prinkling at your skin, an anxious james watching you so intently, that youâre trying hard to ignore, instead focusing on the song. a selfish part of you hoped he wrote it with you in mind, but it just seemed too on the nose. he would never wrote a song about you and played it for you, right?
no matter how much you hide
you're different from anyone else
let's make it last forever ever and ever babe
the song soon came to end. thoughts raced through your mind and you wanted to form a coherent one before it got too awkward, totally unaware of how the quiet is slowly killing your best friend.
how many more songs are like this?
are all of them as explicit?
james couldnât bear through the silence anymore and spoke up,
âitâs about you, if thatâs what youâre thinkingâ
barely above a whisper, afraid youâd hear him but you did, loud and clear. you stood up from the couch, walked to where heâs standing. his head hung low, embarassed to even look at you in the eyes. your hands rested on his shoulder, gently massaging them to relieve some of the tension, before soothing up and down his arms.
from jamesâs perspective, every worst case scenario ran through his head and this is just your way of letting him down easily. he shouldnât have let you listen to the song, he shouldnât have even wrote it? he shouldnât have asked you to be here with hi-
âcan you look at me?â you sounded so gentle and he almost did. it was humiliating, to think you see him as anything more than just a friend.
âpleaseâ you pleaded with him, and that made him cave. hesitant still, james looked up at you, now hands placed on his shoulder. his expression was unreadable but his eyes says it all. he was scared, terrified even yet he was still holding out hope, that youâll let him down slowly.
next thing he knew you were holding his face, pulling him down and felt the softness of your lips against his. james was dumbfounded, so much so that he didnât knew what to do with his hands. instead savoured the moment with his arms stretched out like an idiot.
the second he felt as if you were about to pull away, his arms closed in around your figure, kissing you back harder now. hands gripping your waist, yours tangled in his hair, driving him to the brink of insanity so he pulled you closer, till youâre molded against him, invading every aspect of your senses. heavy breathing echoed throughout the small space as he grew desperate, each time you tried pulling away for air, heâd tugged you back into him.
âwould you do this everytime i let you listen to my demos?â he whispered in your ear, lips trailing down your neck, grazing the skin just enough to tease. accidentally whimpering at the contact, james harshly sucked on your sweet spot, trying to pry out more of the delicious sound from you.
the sudden ringtone of his phone jolted you both back into reality, rattling against the glass table. hesitantly letting go of you, james let out a frustrated sigh, cursing under his breath and murmured an apology. youâd expect him to answer the call, instead he just pulled you into a hug, while his phone continue to ring in the background.
âarenât you gonna answer that?â arms around his neck, fingers playing with the hair on his nape.
âthat can waitâ he said, pecking you on the lips. finally the ringtone stopped, leaving you two in the quiet, comfortably in each otherâs embrace. the events from ten seconds ago flooded your mind, closing your eyes in attempt to shake off the embarassment but you were grinning like an idiot.
âbut youâ he whispered, both hands cupping your face, almost cautious, like you were a fragile porcelain. his eyes carried a whirlwind of emotions, browns swirling with sincerity and devotion. the look of love that youâd always hope to experience one day.
âiâve waited too long for you and i might die if i wait a second longerâ
âwell we donât want that, now do we?â james broke into a smile, seeing you chuckle.
âhyung why did you came back so late last night?â martinâs question echoed in their kitchen, causing james to momentarily to stop eating. he in fact, did got home at 3am, because he couldnât stop kissing you.
âyeah, you even smelled like noonaâ juhoon added, taking a bite of his chicken. the two youngest werenât paying attention until the mention of you, causing both heads to perk up immediately.
the oldest sighed, before explaining what happened. (well, the more age appropriate version) the whole table was dead silent for a moment, no one spoke up until martin asked, with the biggest grin on his face, âyou kissed her, didnât you?â
the blush creeping on his ears and him looking down, smiling was a dead giveaway, throwing the table into chaos. juhoon just nodded, looking somewhat proud while the other three were hollering, dramatically holding their head in their hands.
âiâm gonna text herâ seonghyeon said, pulling out his phone.
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