Robert J. Claxton & Assoc

Empowering People - Piloting Performance

[bobclaxton]

Facing Your Fears

A friend of mine, just posted this:  “Here goes nothing......6 planes in the next 6 days....that's 6 take offs and landings.....6 chances of turbulence.....Ugh..... if my fear isn't cured after this, it never will be lol.” Do you relate?

Fear is critical to our survival.  It keeps us protected from legitimate threats and danger.  If we only had life threatening fears, we’d be a very different society. Instead we have additional irrational fears based on traumas, bad experiences, or those all too often handed down fears from our ill-advised relatives.

Looking at your fears, take a quick inventory in your head of what you are afraid of.  Heights is usually at the top of the list and a legitimate fear although some go to extremes but there is a danger element in falling.  What else makes your list?  Wild animals? Spiders? Rejection? Pain? Flying? Swimming? Public Speaking? Relationships? People? The color blue?  

Fears are thoughts that we create based on experiences either that we have had or others have had and have imprinted onto our minds.  These fears are created, perpetuated and held in our minds.  Sometimes even becoming too intense and then we develop anxieties and find our fears crippling our progress.

By giving in and accepting our fears, we cannot move forward. We cannot grow. We are stopped in our tracks.  For example, fear of failure is common in varying degrees.  It keeps people from progressing in their careers, relationships, commitments.  People who exhibit this fear tend to stay in dead end jobs, stay in bad marriages, take the hand that’s dealt to them.  Accepting life as is and not daring to risk failing so why bother, why try?  How about fear of rejection? I’m not good enough anyway… I can’t do that job, I don’t have the credentials or experience and they won’t like me anyway…

So frustrating, right?  We all know someone like this.  Maybe it’s us?  Maybe we need a little push, a little self confidence, a realization that the fear we carry with us is made up, make believe, we can change our thinking and let go of whatever trauma we hold on to that makes the fear so real – so tangible – so part of our lives that we accepted long ago that it just is.  

Sometimes we need help from others to work through our fears.  Sometimes we need a trusting mentor to show us the way, to gently guide us on our journey and break free of these fear chains we have grown to “love” so much.

FYI, I love flying. Where is fear lurking in your life to keep you from taking new steps? Need help? Contact me.

[bobclaxton]

Efficiency

Can you imagine that there may be a better way to doing what you do? Can you accept that idea?  Are you open minded enough to ask others for differing opinions?  If you are able and willing to look at things through different eyes, read on.

How many times have you completed your daily routine without even thinking twice about which shoe went on first, if you brushed your teeth, if you washed your hair? 

We are creatures of habit.  We do things a certain way because, well, it works! Or that’s how I always did it.  Because... I don’t know! Because that is how my mom/dad taught me.  Because that is what my big brother did… Hmmmm. 

So maybe it’s time to re-examine how you do what you do and why you do it and see if there is a better more efficient way of doing it? Maybe if you stop for a moment and say ok, I am going to consciously take notice of my life, my actions, my choices, you may immediately see that its time for a change.

Awareness is key to moving from a dependent state of doing to an independent state of being.  Examine your actions and take responsibility for the outcomes.

Now that you are aware of your outcomes and how you got there, examine these outcomes and decide if these need changed as well.  By focusing on the end result, you can make the necessary changes early on to better direct your time and energy.

[bobclaxton]

Ask the Right Questions

Have you ever been embarrassed by asking someone the wrong question? I remember meeting a couple I had not seen for quite some time and glancing at the wife, I assumed she was pregnant (you know this is not going to end well), and asked, “When are you due?” Startled, she quietly said, “I’m not!” Awkward!  Not my finest moment

What questions are you asking yourself at the beginning of this year? The quality of the question will determine the quality of your answer. Now that you have chosen your “One word” (see last post), use these 7 questions to zero in on making 2017 your best.

7 Powerful Questions for 2017

1. What do you want?

2. What’s holding you back?

3. What is it costing you to continue holding back?

4. How do you want to change your mental programming on that topic?

5. What new habits will you put in place to fortify your new mindset?

6. What is the most meaningful action you could take now?

7. What new skills or support systems will ensure your success?

These answers will help you pull together the plan you will need to make progress this year. Start here. Start now. Remember, review your word for 5 minutes every day for 90 days. Think about ways you can reach your goals for 2017.

[bobclaxton]

Are You Kicking Yourself into Gear for 2017

2017 is finally here. Many are grateful 2016 is behind us. How are you going to be different by the end of 2017? What are your goals? Do you know that the bulk of people do not even have goals. Even less have written goals. How do we think we will be able to see significant growth in our personal life, and in our business life, if we are not intentional about personal growth?

John Maxwell says, “Most people accept their life, not lead it.” Here is the good news: you can lead your life. 

Just this morning, I sat in my thinking chair and contemplated what my word of the year is for 2017. By having a word of the year, it keeps me focused in my thinking, directed in my learning and empowers me to persist and accomplish a great deal.

Here is my word for 2017: Expansion

Now that I have my word, I will sit down intentionally many times this week to write down my goals for this word in several different areas: How will I expand my business, my finances, my relationships, and referrals for my BNI Chapter and my writing? These will be the focus of my year.

Can I set you up for success in 2017 and not failure? Start small. Discover your word, write it down, review it through your priorities, set a goal in each area. The process is simple, the execution is difficult. Why? Because you are going to have to develop new habits to reach these goals. People who have enrolled in my Mastermind group for January will meet regularly to establish these new routines and provide mutual accountability. That is the power of the Mastermind group.

Are you serious about making 2017 your best year ever? Invest in your personal growth. Find your word and focus on fulfilling that vision.

[bobclaxton]

Your Dreams and Your Reality

Have you wanted to set a large goal for yourself but are afraid to even give it the time and energy to create the plan to achieve it?

Every achievement starts as an idea.  That idea then becomes a theory. That theory then becomes a fact thus yielding an achievement.  This process is the result of the highest form of positive thinking.

There is a creative form of energy and it manifests itself as our imagination. When activated, it is able to build clear and vivid images.  When we dream, our minds are filled with illogical thoughts like levitating or being outside in a bathing suit while it is snowing and not feeling cold. When building an idea, we need to not concern ourselves with the “How”.  First we must build the image and then the “How” will reveal itself to us.  We want to keep our mind free of clutter so we can build this picture in color – be able to use our senses to bring it to reality.

Now that we have the image, we have to commit to being able and willing to create this. This is where we step out of our comfort zone and move beyond the limits of our belief system.  This is where doubts try to infiltrate our minds creating fear and then ultimately we give up on our dreams.  Questioning how is pointless as you couldn’t possibly know how since you have never done this before so let the need to know go and continue to focus on the image.

Once the commitment is set and you are willing and able to move forward, the idea moves into the next phase of the process and turns into a goal. From here the image is moved to the subconscious mind as emotions form and attach to the idea turning it into physical form.

The idea and you begin to merge and your vibrations change, causing behaviors to change. These changes start an attraction force that builds your awareness of the opportunities that always were there but are now visible and in line with your goal.  Through faith and a belief in this idea, you have moved what was once a dream into a reality.

Friend, 2017 is just around the corner. Have you set any goals for 2017? Ladies, if you want to learn how to make your dream a reality, join me in studying the classic, “Think and Grow Rich - For Women.”

Join a dynamic group of women who are wanting to grow both personally and professionally. Look for information about our FREE introduction call - January 9th at 7:30pm (MST).

Contact me at [email protected] for more information.

[bobclaxton]

Do You Know a Drama Queen?

How many times have you heard someone say – “I don’t want any drama in my life.”  That is a very trendy term right now and if you or someone you know is single and dating – that is tossed around like please and thank you!

Everyone claims to hate drama but somehow we find ourselves in it way too often.  Some of us are drama junkies and thrive for it as it gives us a sense of importance.  Some us create it and then swoop in as the savior to “fix” whatever caused it.  How would you like to learn how to navigate through drama with ease? 

What is drama? It is defined as a situation that involves conflict leading to a climax.

Wow.  Does that change your view of drama already?

We all know someone who seems to attract drama.  Usually these people don’t really want that in their lives but due to some underlying trauma they have experienced in the past, the drama is like a comfortable place for them.  They relive the trauma over and over through drama filled episodes and some of us get caught up in it again and again.

Drama in adults can be compared to the terrible twos.  Some toddlers haven’t developed their communication skills when dealing with conflict and will typically act out with a temper tantrum.  Imagine an adult who is unable to regulate their emotions and handle conflict and they act out with an adult temper tantrum that may include backstabbing, gossiping, and verbal abuse.

Drama exists in the movies for a reason – it is entertaining.  It gives us a distraction momentarily.  We are attracted to drama in the movies much like we are attracted to it in the real world even if we claim we aren’t.  Drama is caused by a distorted thought and we always have the option, the choice, to engage or disengage in the events about to unfold.

1.     Stay away from distorted thinking and distorted thinkers is a start.  If you don’t feed the beast, it will go somewhere else to eat.

2.     When someone is unloading on you, listen.  Just listen.  They are looking for an ear not your opinion.  This will keep you from engaging in the situation, which can escalate the problem. Don’t talk – don’t discuss – don’t look for a solution. 

Let the energy die down before engaging in any conversation. As my mentor John Maxwell says, “If people can back up their dump truck at your doorstep once, they will be back again and again.” Resist letting them raise the dump in your life. In my Impact Mentoring Journey, I have a specific lesson on drama. The principles from this simply lesson have literally changed lives overnight. Listen to these straight forward words about having drama in our life:

“Your complaints, your drama, your victim mentality, your whining, your blaming, and all of your excuses have NEVER gotten you even a single step closer to your goals or dreams. Let go of your nonsense. Let go of the delusion that you DESERVE better and go EARN it! Today is a new day!” — Steve Maraboli

[bobclaxton]

Will You Just Make a Decision

Just this last week I sat with a business executive as a thinking partner. When it was all said and done, it was his inability to make a tough decision that created havoc for his team and even worse, his team was losing respect for him. One consistent habit managers or leaders default to is not making decisions quick enough.

Decisions are a mental activity every one of us engages in on a daily basis. From deciding when to wake up, to what to eat, to how to spend our day, to where to spend our money, to whom to spend our time with... decisions are part of our daily life.

That doesn’t mean we are good at making decisions.  Many of us make terrible decisions every day, and only a few of us make good decisions consistently.  Why is there such disparity in this?  What keeps us from making sound decisions?  

Did you know that you could virtually eliminate conflict and confusion by becoming proficient at making decisions?  Once you make a decision, you will find all the people, resources, and ideas you need every time.

Indecisiveness is a decision to not make a decision.  This is typically fueled by your fear of failure.  Low self-esteem and succumbing to circumstances is why so many people make poor decisions.  

If you have an idea, a desire, a wish, a worthy ideal, make the decision to achieve whatever it is you want.  Once you make this decision, the people, resources, and ideas will be attracted to you because your belief in achievement will supersede your fears and circumstances.  Your belief will be the catalyst that changes your behaviors, your actions, and ultimately your results.

Keep your focus on your visions, your worthy ideal.  Refuse to worry about how it will happen - know that you are capable of anything you put your mind to and make the decision today to DECIDE WHERE YOU ARE WITH WHATEVER YOU’VE GOT.

Napoleon Hill makes a case for us: “Successful people make decisions quickly and firmly. Unsuccessful people make decisions slowly, and they change them often.”

When you know what you want, really, really want, decisions are easy.

[bobclaxton]

Are You A Critical Thinker?

Today marks the launch of another amazing Mastermind Group. 11 intelligent, successful, curious business minds will be sitting down and beginning to study “Good Leaders Ask Great Questions” by John Maxwell. Every group is unique and the discussions are spirited and educational as well. We ask dozens of people to join, but few people are committed to thinking.

Critical thinking is utilizing our higher faculties to understand and evaluate subject matter; or to put it simply “knowing how to think.”  When we were in elementary and secondary school, we were taught what to think. We were subjected to a lot of information and now, the trend is to teach to pass a test.

We memorize what is needed, take the test, and then forget what we remembered. If we pursued higher education, most of us college graduates continued down the same path of learning what to think again for that anticipated test at the end of each semester. It isn’t until we pursue advanced degrees that we are then required to know how to think.

Consider this conclusion from the National Commission on Excellence in Education in its landmark report, A Nation at Risk, 1983:

“Many 17-year old’s do not possess the “higher-order” intellectual skills we should expect of them. Nearly 40 percent cannot draw inferences from written material; only one-fifth can write a persuasive essay; and only one-third can solve a mathematics problem requiring several steps.”

This trend in education has taught us to mind dump everything we know when sharing information. When conducting masterminds or presenting our principles and ideas to prospects, take a moment and evaluate your approach. Are you unconsciously mind dumping everything you know in your allotted time or are you taking the time to help others develop conclusions and their own thought.

Critical thinking is a higher-order level of thinking. It is the ability to think for one’s self and responsibly make those decisions that affect one’s life.  In addition, critical thinking is also critical inquiry: investigating problems, asking questions, and posing new challenging answers.

Consider the benefits of helping develop others’ critical thinking skills.  They will be able to better understand your ideas and better accept your methodologies if they are able to understand, evaluate and conclude in a critical way. In addition, by developing your own critical thinking skills, you will be better equipped to share this your life changing information with your clients, co-workers, friends and family.

Critical thinking requires advanced listening skills. Lecturing to others is a passive activity that does not inhibit audience participation. To critically evaluate needs, it is necessary to present ideas and then allow the group to develop conclusions - openly discuss and debate these new ideas.  Allow the group to think deeply about your ideas and in turn, value what they think and feel. Share these ideas in an environment that allows them to think their ideas matter. Ask them to make connections and recognize patterns in the new ideas you are presenting. These techniques allow your group to begin to develop trust in themselves and their thoughts, which in turn develops their critical skills.

At the conclusion of your discussion, to further develop critical thought, ask your participants to write out the most significant thing they learned AND what single thing they would like to learn more about. This is immediate feedback about what they are learning and what they still need to understand. When presenting - encourage questions and praise the questioner with these examples: “Good question” or “I am sure others want to know that as well”. When your audience asks questions, this is a great indicator that they are thinking critically.

[bobclaxton]

Everybody Needs Compassion

Later on today, I have the privilege to stand beside a family who is saying good-bye to their dad, uncle and Papa. He slipped away last week in his sleep without anyone knowing. They need compassion today. Today is going to be a very difficult day as we stand beside the open grave, ready to say so long.

Compassion is the result of expressing empathy for others’ suffering. It is one of the most quintessential components to living a peaceful and harmonious life and brings immediate and long-term happiness when practiced.

When there is a desire to develop compassion in your life, the key is to make it a daily practice.  Start each day with meditation, when interacting with people practice compassion and when preparing for sleep, reflect on compassion.  By incorporating this practice into our daily lives, it becomes a part of us.  

Compassion also carries positive physical benefits.  Practicing compassion has shown to increase DHEA by 100%. DHEA is an anti-aging hormone.  Practicing also reduces cortisol by 23%, which is the stress hormone.

Compassion feeds spiritual and emotional being as well. It allows us to be happier and to share our happiness with those around us.  Most of us desire peace and happiness and to share with others so it is logical to practice compassion to achieve that which we can have as quickly as right now.

Just for the record, you never have to wonder if you should go to a friend’s funeral. If you don’t know what to say to the family, just say, “I’m sorry.” Hug them. You see they won’t remember what you said, but they will always remember that you were there. Just go regardless of how uncomfortable you are. It is not about you. They need you there.

This is a great start in living a life of compassion. 

[bobclaxton]

It All Starts with Commitment

A commitment should be treated as a binding contract with yourself. However many of us break our commitments.  We commit to people, banks, work, pets, ourselves… A commitment is something that you have no doubts about. Something you give 100% of your whole self to.

Commitment is a fulfilling endeavor that when followed through gives an immense sense of accomplishment.  Think about something you have committed to, followed through with to the end, and how you felt at the end knowing you didn’t break it along the way.  Weight loss, getting a formal education, going for the big contract and landing it…

Sometimes commitment can be confused with staying with something long after you should.  Like a dead end job or a loveless marriage.  If you have any of this in your life, let’s look at it for a moment.  Ask yourself why you are still in something that you have doubts about or don’t believe in or worse yet, that you give less than all of you to.  People pick up on this subtle behavior.  To stay committed to something, you have to put effort in and periodically change up what you are doing to keep it alive and fresh.

Commitments are what ground you and keep you active and engaged in life. Being free and having few commitments sounds so refreshing to many who have spouses, children, pets, jobs, mortgages… but for only a fleeting moment when life feels heavy and burdensome.  We are social creatures who desire connections and relationships with others; a sense of accomplishment and pride in our contributions to making life better for everyone in our lives including ourselves.  

Sometimes we need help with our commitments and we seek out this help through our friends, co-workers, spouses, coaches, mentors… By asking for help, we are strengthening our commitment to ourselves and others; we are fulfilling our obligations contractually with ourselves to follow through to the end, no matter what it takes. Read the words of this successful person:

"The moment you commit and quit holding back, all sorts of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, will rise up to help you. The simple act of commitment is a powerful magnet for help." — Napoleon Hill

Why not commit to adding value to yourself? When was the last time you invested in you? Can I say this, “You are worth the investment!” I know you are. Then watch what is attracted to you.

[bobclaxton]

Life Begins Outside Your Comfort Zone

On Wikipedia, comfort is defined as a sense of physical or psychological ease and a lack of hardship while uncomfortable are people lacking in comfort.  I disagree!  I am hung up in the word “lacking”.  I think people who are comfortable are lacking.  Let me explain.  

When you go along in life and stay within the lines, always on the safe side of the street, not taking risks and staying under the radar, you think you are comfortable.  You don’t ruffle feathers, you don’t cause problems, you avoid drama… Ha!

That is not the life I want to live. Not that I desire to ruffle feathers and be that obnoxious guy no one wants around. Far from it.  I want to be the person that takes the risks, that lives in that uncomfortable zone because that is where I am growing – taking life by the horns. Experiencing new things.  Having new adventures. Dreaming big dreams and better yet, living the life I desire.  

Comfort is a place where boredom sets in.  I define comfort as eating TV dinners in front of the television night after night with nothing worthwhile to say to my spouse while my kids are glued to their fantasy role playing video games because our life is BORING! And Comfort is where I think those people live that are afraid of going for the big promotion because they live in fear that they aren’t good enough.  

Good enough. Ha!  I don’t subscribe to that philosophy.  We are all good enough.  In fact we are better than good enough.  Good enough is not an option with me.  Did I always think this way? No.  I lived in comfort until one day a mentor pushed me.  I didn’t know he was my mentor at the time. He was just my friend and he pushed me to dream bigger dreams. He pushed me to want more out of life. To go after the big fish.  

I have physical and psychological ease because I am reaching for the stars and I am going to do whatever it takes to get there!  My mentor pushed me and changed my thinking – he said – even though you don’t believe it now, trust in my belief in you. That was motivation enough for me – I trusted in his belief that I could and wow did my life change.  My mentor got me out from in front of that television and off the couch to living life!  And the best part is now I am mentoring others to achieve their dreams. Comfort is not my goal – I’ll take uncomfortable any day!

You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Then you are truly living!

[bobclaxton]

Why Change is Good

“If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.” ~ Albert Einstein

I love that quote!  Change is that scary word that most people shy away from.  I don’t want to change.  Why should I change?  Why doesn’t everyone else change to accommodate me?  If I change, then I will be out of my comfort zone.  Why change something that isn’t broken?

Change.  Asking someone to change is like expecting the sun to not rise.  Isn’t it a pointless request?  Change comes from within.  Change is something we do with ourselves.  Only we can control us, no one else.  So why ask, expect, anticipate, anything from someone else?  

Let’s focus on how to change us.  First why would anyone want to change themselves?  Is it because they don’t like the outcome?  Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you really want to change their mind about something?  You try so hard to convince them that your point of view is right and theirs is wrong!  Can’t they see that? I mean do they realize just how foolish their ideas are?  Ha!

Cause and Effect. Facts and Theory.  Yin and Yang.  If you don’t like the end result, then you need to change the actions.  If the facts don’t fit the theory, in other words, the end result of the facts is not the theory then the facts must change.  Your actions (cause) create an end result (effect).  If you don’t like the effect, change the cause.  If you want a particular effect, but aren’t getting it, then change the cause.  

It is really simple but we complicate it because we think it is everyone else that needs to change and not us.  Stop. Take a breath.  Read that again.  It is really simple.  We want a different end result.  We need to make a change.  

If you want to convince someone you are right and they are looking at you like you have three eyes… stop.  Look within. Why do you want to convince anyone of anything?  If someone cannot see your point of view for whatever reason, if someone is doing something that you do not like, if someone or something is not what you expected… then look within.  Look at what you are doing, thinking, saying,… take the blame off others and look at your actions and make the necessary changes and adjustments to achieve the end result you so desire.

If you are serious about changing, contact me. Start today.

[bobclaxton]

How to Handle a Challenge

So many people wish life was easier, with less challenges and obstacles but without challenges, life becomes stagnant and we stop growing.  Challenges help us uncover who we are and it allows us to become better people.  

Let’s examine a very simple 4-step method to overcoming challenges.

First, state the problem clearly.  When we are faced with challenges, we tend to avoid the issue and run the other way burying our heads in the sand hoping it goes away.  Or we may say – ok, there is an obstacle, instead of heading right to it and plowing through, I am going to look for another path and even though that is not the way I want to go – it looks easier… less headache… but rarely does that work out.  When we avoid or go out of our way, we cause more headache in the end.  It takes more of our time, it takes more of our energy and we don’t get the end result we are looking for.  So take this time to understand what the challenge is.  Ask yourself what is the question, what is asked of me, what is the main goal? Write this down on paper.

Second, identify what you have at your disposal – what resources are available to you to work through this challenge? List all of these resources out.  These should include things such as tangible assets – money, computer, books, etc. And then what skills you have, what are your strengths to work through this? Don’t forget others – what access do you have to others that can help?

Third, design the strategy to overcome this challenge.  Utilize all your assets to create a plan of action.  You may find this plan will need to be tweaked as you execute and that is ok. Keep at it.

Lastly, execute the strategy with effort and determination.  Do your very best with all you have to overcome your challenge.

If you find that you still cannot overcome a challenge, then re-evaluate.  If your strategy just won’t work because it isn’t viable or effective then change it. If your strategy doesn’t work because you didn’t execute it well enough, be persistent and tweak your efforts, giving it more.  

Practice this method on small challenges and see how easy it is to overcome. Then try it on the big rocks!

[bobclaxton]

Behaviors Matter

Behavior defined can be a physical thing one does such as a morning routine and it can be non-physical such as replaying negative thoughts all day long. A few behaviors are instinctual and built in while the rest are learned through meeting needs.  What this means is that our behaviors are motivated by our needs and therefore we can be manipulated as well as manipulate to have our needs met.

So when we have negative behaviors and we want to change them, we find it isn’t always so easy because these learned behaviors that we exhibit are actually rather complex.

There are two types of motivation – the motivation to approach something and the motivation to avoid something.  When we desire something, we are motivated to approach it therefore receiving positive reinforcement or feedback. When we avoid something, we are motivated to move away from it or we will receive negative reinforcement or feedback.  This is pretty simple.  We understand that when we eat something sweet, most of us have a pleasant experience and when we eat something sour, our faces pucker and we try to avoid that experience again.

But let’s look at those things we approach or avoid because the thing doesn’t create that behavior, we do. Some people desire the adrenaline rush of jumping out of an airplane. It is exhilarating – it is something they repeat again and again as it has a positive affect on them and they desire that and are motivated to seek that experience.  Some people avoid even the thought of getting on an airplane due to their learned fears that it will absolutely crash and they will die no matter what statisticians say – forget purposefully jumping out of a perfectly good airplane!  Did the airplane create these behaviors?  No!  We learned them. And each of us react differently to different things, experiences, tastes, smells, thoughts, etc.  All because of our own personal thoughts and behaviors.

So how do you change your behaviors?  Your thoughts?  Let’s say you want to become a public speaker but you are petrified of speaking in front of people. How can you overcome this fear, build confidence, perform and knock it out of the park?  You have to change your behavior so that you are motivated to approach public speaking effortlessly without turning into a sweaty mess.  

Practice.  Anything you try for the first time will be clumsy and awkward, maybe even difficult. By practicing your speech – over and over again until it is so ingrained in you and flows off your tongue as if it is just another story you are telling a friend, you build your confidence to speak to several friends or a small group… until you are ready to speak to a large audience.  Practice.

Shaping.  Practice your speech and ask your audience (family members, friends, mentor, coach) for feedback.  Try giving it several different ways.  Break down the speech into bits and mix it up.  All the while correcting your approach and delivery until you shape your presentation and performance.  

Chaining.  Very good and effective speeches, keynote talks, sales pitches… are complex.  They are made up of many components within the speech to get you to the end result you desire – sell a product or service, teach a thought or program, build rapport with your audience, create new clients, whatever your end result is, your speech has to be built on a frame and chaining is how you piece it together so there is a natural flow, a rhythm that mesmerizes the audience. Think about a really good comedian who gets up on stage and tells little stories for the whole set and the last story wraps up and circles back to the first story – bringing the evening to a close so naturally and you give a standing ovation because you were mesmerized by how good he was – he practiced, shaped each story or joke, chained them all together and brought it to a close.

By using these techniques, you can change an old behavior that you don’t want for a new one that you do want.  Whatever you want to change, practice your new desired behavior, shape the new behavior by approaching it in different ways and ask for feedback all the while tweaking it, chain all the components of the new skills you are now mastering together and now you have successfully changed your behavior.

[bobclaxton]

Attitude Matters

Attitude is the one thing all human beings have complete control of and yet many unknowingly choose a negative attitude.  If we understood the power of our own attitude in our lives, most of us would change it immediately.  How many times have you been told to change your attitude?  That is a common order from most parents and teachers!

Attitude is created by your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your mind controls feelings and decides whether these feelings will be positive or negative through your thoughts. Your body then follows these thoughts through actions and behaviors.  It sounds simplistic because it is.  

Through our thoughts, we create an attitude.  This attitude is expressed based on how we internalize ideas. Our mind and body move into a new vibration of conscious awareness known as feelings.  These feelings are then displayed through actions and behaviors that produce the results in our lives.

Attitude [Thoughts + Feelings + Actions] = Results

Imagine feeding our minds with positive thoughts and flow through the process. We will end with positive results.  Now imagine feeding our minds with negative thoughts and flow through the process. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

By changing our thoughts, we can change our attitude, which will ultimately change our results.  Attitude is the creative cycle that allows us to feel a certain way and then take the necessary action to a specific result.

Start with the end in mind and make the decision that today is the day to change your attitude!  

[bobclaxton]

The 80/20 Rule

Have you ever wondered just how effective your efforts are in life or work? How do you keep the main thing, the main thing? Is there a way to get a better return on your time? The answer may surprise you.

The 80/20 rule sounds like a mathematical formula and in some ways it is but don’t fret, this isn’t a lesson on statistics.  The rule came from an Italian economist, Vilfredo Pareto, who stated that 80% of the Italian income was earned by 20% of the Italian population.

What this means is that 80% of your outcomes come from 20% of your inputs. To put this another way, 20% of your activities equate to 80% of your happiness. Instead of focusing on income, we will focus on your overall well being or happiness factor.

To prove this theory, look at the distribution of wealth and lately with the shrinking of the middle class, this is even more apparent that a small portion of the population controls the majority of the economy. Look at business, the top earners are a small percentage of companies and earn the largest portion of income. And if you look at your own habits, you most likely spend most of your income on few things like your mortgage, car payment, food and you probably spend most of your time with a few people each day.

So how can you use the 80/20 rule to maximize your outputs? Let’s look at John Maxwell.  He talks about the fact that he is only good at a few things. Therefore, he doesn’t waste his time with those things he cannot do or does not want to do.  By focusing on what you are good at – those few things; and not waste time on those things you are not good at, you maximize your efficient self and are able to improve upon and increase your skill-set on what you are good at and what you love to do.  

Malcolm Gladwell speaks of how to become an expert; the common thread is spending 10,000 hours perfecting one’s craft.  If you spread yourself across the board, become a Jack of all trades, master of none, than your efficiency rate decreases and no longer will the 80/20 rule work in your favor.  

Take a moment and consider what you love and what you are really good at and then list out those things that cause you to waste time and decrease your efficient self.  If you are able, hire someone to do those tasks that fall on that list.  Share duties with your children, spouse, roommate, significant other, co-worker, team members etc.  Trade your time and skill-set for theirs.  You will find that focusing on those 20% tasks, the 80% yield will be worthwhile.

[bobclaxton]

Comfort Zone – Beyond the Comfort Zone

I’m lucky really in that I get to work with people from all over the world – more than 100 different countries at last count. And one of the things that really strikes me about human nature from such a varied perspective, is that we are all the same! I know, disappointing isn’t it! We all think we are so unique and different but the truth is we are so similar it’s scary. Human beings are creatures of habit. And those habits tend to be pretty much the same wherever you go.

Having been interested in personal growth for many, many years now, I’ve watched lots of people, over long periods of time, whilst studying the principles of success. People I’ve worked with and for; people who’ve worked for me, people I know well or just heard of, friends, family .. all kinds of people .. and I’ve observed all these ‘different’ people over years and years, sometimes decades. And you know what’s interesting? Most people don’t like change. Any kind of change. Most people like things just the way they are.

Now they’ll tell you they’re not happy or they want to change. They’ll tell you this big change is coming any minute or that big change. This big deal is coming .. this diet will work .. this scheme will make me rich .. and on and on it goes.

But if you come back 6 .. 12 .. or 120 months later .. most people are still doing the same things and getting the same results. 10 years on autopilot can slip by in the blink of an eye can’t it! Why do we do it?

Simple really .. it’s comfortable. It’s comfortable because it’s familiar. And it’s comfortable because it’s habitual. That’s why most people stick where they are. And that’s why they keep getting what they’ve always got.

John Maxwell tells a great story in one of his books of a man who goes to a fortune teller. He tells the man that he will be miserable and poor until he is 40. The man then asks what happens next. Then you get used to it he replies! What a depressing thought! It becomes familiar .. it becomes habitual .. it becomes .. comfortable!

But there are some people, just a few, who break the normal patterns of behavior. What is it that they know that most people don’t know ...