i will become a bog body

eventually. in the meantime, i made this sideblog to post poetry and thoughts that should stay inside my non-existent diary and whatever else i feel the need to inflict upon the world.

[bogbodyagenda]

it turns out that opening up to your loved ones about your struggles actually doesn't cause them to hate and despise you

[shubbabang]

Shout out to everyone who is just so tired So so exhausted So very very tired so very fatigued so sleepy and tired So

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

[hhhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjsssssjjkkk]

[bogbodyagenda]

water damage

i am a stack of barely repressed emotions that i can’t identify they’re so bunched up and crumpled now i couldn’t read them if i tried

the ink is smudged from all of the tears i’ve shed that i can’t recall anymore the paper is too creased to read the words i’d written there before

my feelings all have water damage like bloated books, some pages are still wet i cannot get them dry despite all of my efforts and regrets

[bogbodyagenda]

unloved, unknown

i want to love you and be loved by you in return but loving is knowing and being loved is being known and i am so afraid of being known and therefore being loved cause being known is being judged and being vulnerable and i have unlearned how to be that somewhere along the way and now i can't remember how to let myself be known, and therefore loved by anyone at all.

[bogbodyagenda]

i just spilled half a cup of chai latte. on my bed. it's soaking into the mattress. i am crying

[bogbodyagenda]

my biggest ambition in life is to one day become a bog body. lying dead in a swamp somewhere forever, doing absolutely nothing, not even decomposing, until one day some unlucky archaeologist comes along and finds my corpse, and then i'd be their problem.

i made a whole playlist to listen to while i imagine that. it’s mostly based on vibes, for some reason there aren’t all that many songs about becoming bog bodies.

[bogbodyagenda]

does anyone else have the desire to go back in time to when you were like twelve years old to do everything again and not have to worry about the future for a bit

or is it just me