Radiation Girl

Professional dumb bitch™️

[nealashitposts]

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

[janedrewfinally]

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

[notahorseindisguise]

youd think a band named violent femmes would be made up of violent femmes. but it isnt. its dudes

[notahorseindisguise]

genuinely no mary... the australian dollar is not doing great right now

[notahorseindisguise]

i need to type with more of an accent

[notahorseindisguise]

youse may bloody reckon a band name of violent femmes'd be a buncha sheilas after a couple bundy cokes. but it aint. packa blokes.

[sandandglass]

The Muppets s01e01

[le-sad-demiurge]

Fozzy getting hit on by lots of twinks

[cheshireinthemiddle]

Happy Pride Month

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Ten years later, this bit still slaps. They made a great pun and realized they could be nice/inclusive with it too.

[partywithponies]

I love vague labels that make people go "but that's confusing" or "but that could mean anything" Good. Keep guessing lol

[partywithponies]

"Queer doesn't actually tell me anything" who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.

[livethrushit]

[gay-lien-from-space]

Hello fanfiction community,

Just wanted to bring to your attention that the term whump was actually coined by the Stargate fandom specifically to describe making this guy suffer. He is the original Mr. Whump (no that's not his actual name). That's how torturable this guy is.

Everyone say mean things about him.

Here is a non exhaustive list of what he goes through in canon btw:

His parents get crushed to death right in front of him when he is a kid

He is forced to relive the memory of his parents death countless times

He dies and gets resurrected

His wife gets possessed

He fails to save her and she dies in his arms

He dies and gets resurrected again

He gets infected by a virus that makes him act crazy and gets put in an insane asylum

He dies and gets resurrected again

His ex gets possessed

He is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation

He dies and ascends to a higher plane, then gets kicked out of the higher plane and his memory is wiped

He gets kidnapped by a princess

He gets kidnapped by a fish alien

He gets kidnapped and tortured by some terrorists

He gets kidnapped and tortured by another alien

He is driven to insanity by an alien device

He dies and gets resurrected again

He dies and gets resurrected again

[dykerory]

i find the iron lung/phm crossover fandom deeply irritating if i can be honest. are you really so short on yaoi that you have to invent it out of whole cloth

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I like that the rock is still there watching them make out and cheering them on

[dykerory]

Rocky sit in cuck chair, question?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Rocky going to fujo out, statement

[jatersade]

I like to imagine that in any atla modern au, aang still, for some reason, finds a reason to beat ozai’s ass

[jatersade]

Aang: *explaining to someone that he is a pacifist*

Sokka in the background: yeah except for that time in high school when you kicked the shit out of Zuko’s dad

Aang: THOSE WERE EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES PLEASE —

[jatersade]

sokka: did it feel good

aang: violence is unproductive, and the antithesis of —

sokka, talking over him: because watching Zuko’s dad get his shit rocked by teen Caillou definitely made ME feel good. and if you do something that makes people happy, doesn’t that mean it’s a good thing?

aang: . . . that’s not how it works but thank you.

[jatersade]

Aang: I think problems can and should be solved without violence!

Ozai: *does something characteristically shitty within Aang’s field of vision*

Aang:

the rest of the gaang watching Aang judo flip Ozai over a table:

[jatersade]

Gyatso that night at dinner: I received an interesting call today.

Aang, sweating: oh wow crazy how that happens isn’t it? Technology is amazing

Gyatso: It was from your school. They were calling to tell me that you’ve been assigned after school detention for the next month because you beat up a grown man on campus today. Would you like to tell me your side of the story?

Aang: it was Zuko’s dad and he deserved it

Gyatso, who had a speech about the perils of succumbing to violence prepared but who also knows all about what a dirtbag Ozai is bc of his weekly brunches w Iroh:

[viralfrog]

[original-character-chaos]

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[positivestress]

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

[theehorsepusssy]

[americanprimitives-deactivated2]

Ground Control to Major Shlong

[t4tvampireisms]

FREE MY ETHNIC GIRLIES FROM RHINOPLASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR NOSE BUMP IN FINE LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[t4tvampireisms]

YOUNG BROWN AND BLACK GIRLS: IGNORE THE WHITE INFLUENCER TELLING YOU TO GET BOTOX OR A NOSE JOB!!!!! YOUR FACE IS BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE JUST AS YOU ARE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[momoboyds]

white europeans love to pretend like the united states and europe aren’t two cheeks of the same ass

[hiimneptune]

Listen, nobody who's ever opened a history book says we didn't do that shit first. Pick an atrocity and chances are there was a time europeans did it on mass to someone for the sake of profit. The difference, is that we have for the most part put that behind us, while the US is just sinking deeper and deeper into it. We're not perfect, and we were a lot worse in the past. But it has been a while since we were the problem

[momoboyds]

so the racism, antiblackness, islamophobia, and hatred for immigrants just disappeared huh

[creatingblackcharacters]

"its been a while since we were the problem" someone Black was murdered by police violence in Ireland last month

[infimace-blog]

Even ignoring the current shit (like we haven't watched Europe get increasingly insane about brown refugees over the past few years), the shit Europe is no longer doing still has consequences. Britain isn't ruling Egypt but they still got the artifacts in the museum. France no longer owns Haiti, but they forced Haiti to pay out the nose for international legitimacy, a process that effectively took Haiti 120 years to fully complete, which is why the island is disproportionately poor even compared to other Caribbean islands. You don't just get to leave your shit all over the world, wash your hands and then go "glad we finally evolved past having assholes"

[plaidos]

it’s actually not misogynistic to say astrology is bogus, and it is indeed way way more misogynistic to believe that things that can’t be proven rationally through science are More Female.

[lgbtqiatext]

[andreii-tarkovsky]

Gaycation - “USA”