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myrinaart

dogsdayilya

Loyalty (1869)

— by Briton Rivière

Loyalty (2025)

— by Ilya Rozanov

gaynehollander

Shane has always been a big napper. When he was young, school really tired him out. So many different people around him for such an extended period of time, expectations of certain behaviour, having to socialise, having to pay attention, having to answer questions, the constant hum of fluorescent lights overhead. He came home exhausted and in need of a nap more often than not. There were also the panics. Sometimes they were big, sometimes they were small, but they usually left him feeling wrung out and he didn't really function well until he'd had a nap after one. Becoming a professional hockey player hasn't changed this, if anything it's made it a useful skill. A little post-practice nap is sometimes just the thing he needs and a pre-game nap can make all the difference to his play. With the constant travelling and endless timezone changes, napping becomes a necessity.

Ilya, however, never quite got the hang of it. He knows a lot of his teammates nap whenever and wherever, falling asleep before games in hotel rooms or resting up on the road, snores filling the team bus or plane, but Ilya can't quite get there. It's probably a remnant from childhood, from not feeling safe enough to let his guard down like that. He can't even imagine what the reaction would have been if his father had come home to find him asleep on the couch. He was certainly quick enough to accuse him of laziness without Ilya handing over additional ammunition for free.

But Ilya loves holding Shane when he naps. He loves how quickly his body grows lax, loves the gradual shift in the depth of his breaths, loves the warmth of his body pressed against him, loves his sleepy little sounds and scrunched little face when he wakes up, loves that Shane trusts him enough to be that vulnerable around him. Shane doesn't really know that Ilya doesn't nap, not with how often Ilya's the one to suggest one, not with the way Ilya makes sure to feign coming out of sleep as soon as he feels Shane shift in his arms in that particular way that suggests he's waking up. He doesn't want to risk Shane feeling like Ilya's doing him a favour with holding him through his naps, doesn't know whether he can admit how much he loves their naps even though they never include Ilya falling asleep. He likes the way things are. He doesn't want to risk it changing.

Eventually it does change though. Not because Shane discovers Ilya's secret of never actually falling asleep but because, a few years into their marriage, Ilya start... actually falling asleep. He never plans to. He loves getting to spend that time resting with Shane while staying alert enough to catalogue his every sleep-muddled sigh, his every shift. He just feels so warm, so full of love, so incredibly safe that one day he just... drifts off. After that it keeps happening. He has Shane in his arms, he's enjoying his breathing, he's loving this moment, he doesn't want to lose consciousness, he wants to stay in it, but his eyelids are drooping. He lets them shut, just for a minute, but then he wakes up to Shane's smiling face, his eyes soft and sleep-warm, his hands gentle as they cradle Ilya's face and run through his curls, and he can't be mad at himself for having missed out on those precious moments if this is what he gets to wake up to. Time is no longer a limited resource. Safety is no longer conditional on remaining alert. He has the rest of his life to enjoy this, to let himself be lulled to sleep by Shane's breathing and waking up to his soft touches. He can let his eyes drift shut and trust that Shane will still be there when he wakes.

actuallysara

you can always trust hudson williams to show up pretty and confused

sunnypeachyy

Hudson Williams | Met Gala 2026

bugslibraryy

Ok but like when they are husbands their favourite part of their day is getting to go to bed together. And yes now they are lucky they get practice and training and games together- they get so much together but after all those years of so long- so much apart from each other, they are so greedy for time together. And Ilya loves it because they have a routine, he has a night time routine. Teenage would sooner think he was dead at this age than he has a husband and a night time routine. Shane almost always heads upstairs before him, because he likes the do the dishes and kitchen after dinner and in turn Ilya prefers to lock up and sort out Anya for the night. If it’s after a day off or training day they will peel up off the couch- or if it’s after a home game or travel day it’s dinner and then right upstairs.

Shane will go up first, with a kiss for Ilya- to his shoulder or cheek or ear or forehead- wherever he can land one- and then Ilya will go about making sure all the doors and windows are locked and shut, pack away anyas toys and fold the blankets from the couch. He’ll fill up his and Shane’s water bottles, and then Anya will follow him up the stairs once he’s turned off the lights. Shane will be in the shower and Ilya will turn down their bed, get rid of all the extra pillows and fold back the covers, settle Anya in her dog bed with many goodnight kisses and then put their waterbottles on the beside tables.

Sometimes he’ll meet Shane in the shower, share the end of Shane’s shower with him, help him rinse out his hair or kiss his shoulders, steal a cuddle and more kisses under the water. Sometimes Shane will be done by the time Ilya gets in to the bathroom and he’ll just squeeze his hip in passing as he goes to strip and shower. Ilya puts his clothes in the hamper, showers while he watches Shane do his skincare at their double sinks. By the time he’s out of the shower Shane is gone, the smell of his minty toothpaste left behind and it’s so stupid but Ilya misses him, a little, while he brushes his own teeth and scrubs on some moisturiser, the same one Shane uses because he likes that the smell reminds him of him.

Once he’s done he walks into the bedroom and Shane is always laying on Ilya’s side of the bed, (reading or scrolling or sometimes on the phone to his parents) “warming it up” for ilya because he always complains about how cold Ilya’s hands and feet are- and Ilya says it not his fault Shane seems to always run hot and that of course Ilya will feel cold in comparison. It makes Ilya’s heart squeezed, seeing Shane laying in his spot for him. Ever time. And then Ilya will tug on boxers and crawl into bed, make a production of shuffling Shane out of his side of the bed, and he’ll link their feet together under the sheets, because he knows shane doesn’t like his reading interrupted and Ilya will scroll until Shane has read his two chapters and then Shane will neatly fold his glasses and book and place it on the bedside table and Ilya will plug his phone in and then roll into Shane for cuddles now that his reading is done and they talk like that, pressed close together in bed, between soft kisses and squeezes and nuzzles to be closer and they will fall asleep like that, so much love between them and Ilya can’t wait to do it all again the next night.

afemalesebastian

"Sewing is a gateway drug to thinking through complex problems. It seems really simple; culturally, we make it women's work. Let me tell you: real sewing at any kind of level of proficiency is a bloody magic trick. Sewing, like mold making, involves mental frames that require one to think inside out and backwards. It requires one to work on an order of operations that is often taking into account the reverse. It's a really, really important skill, and if you learn how to sew, you're mostly on your way to carpentry and welding and sheet metal work. I'm not kidding: these are planar forms meeting under rules and conditions. And if you can make a sleeve work, I swear to God, you could build a house."

--Adam Savage