Anybody need a Teddy?

||Ted Tonks||Father||Hufflepuff Alumni|| (Closed rping Account)

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first war || optimism || open

[bonktonks]

illiad-amycus

“Hurting you will delight me, actually. It’ll be the highlight of our nonexistent relationship.”

“Perhaps onesided pain would be apart of our relationship, therefore, it is real!”

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first war || optimism || open

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illiad-amycus

“The only thing I’d consider ‘close’ to you are my knuckles, as they’re about five seconds away from reacquainting themselves with your stomach. Do you want to see if I can punch hard enough to rupture a spleen? I’ve heard it’s hard to do, but I’m willing to try.”

“Will hurting me make you feel better? Well I already know the answer but for dramatic irony, please feel free to try and repture my spleen. I’m sure you probably could do it.”

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first war || optimism || open

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illiad-amycus

“This? Oh, this is just the preview of my temper, Mudblood. You don’t get to be chummy with me, you hear?”

“I ain’t no bitch.” “I’m no chum of your’s.” Ted blinked before tilting his head. “How could I be chummy when you are not a close friend of mine? Unless you think of me as a close friend, I’m honored, but I do not reciprocate.”

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first war || optimism || open

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snapcrackleevans

“Oh Merlin, that’s so exciting! Ted, congratulations! Please tell Andie too, wow, this is amazing!”

“It’s still quite early. You can’t tell Andromeda’s going to have a child but in due time we’ll start to see it. I will definitely let her know, thank you Lily.”

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first war || optimism || open

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illiad-amycus

“Let’s get this straight, you filthy piece of shit, I am not your ‘dear’ anything.”

Ted jumped back, blinking in surprise. “Got quite a temper on you, don’t you?”

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first war || optimism || open

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benjy-friendwick

“Yeah, bed is already a thing. Don’t wanna encroach on their territory. Benward or Tedjamin, could use my full name too. Oooh, Thundercat’s brilliant too. Make quite the pair of patronuses wouldn’t they.” 

“We could use our last names as well. Tonwicks? Tonkicks? That sounds like some sort of martial arts move.” Ted began to laugh. “It’ll be glorious as no pure blood or halfblood would understand.”

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first war || optimism || open

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illiad-amycus

“If you think I’m going to be scared of an infant, you’ve got another thing coming. Besides, with all your muck in it’s veins it’ll turn out a Squib.”

“Why not? Children are scary. My dear boy you say that like it’s a bad thing. A healthy child is a blessing.”

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first war || optimism || open

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illiad-amycus

“I actually try to think of children as little as possible, lest I break out in hives. Though I do look forward to have a mini version of you whose dreams, personality and will to live I can crush into the dust.”

“Ouch mate, sorry to let you know that your hopes and dreams are the ones that’ll be crushed by our little darling.”

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first war || optimism || open

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benjy-friendwick

“If we push our names together to name it properly, would it be Tenjy or…. Bed,” Benjy snorted, “Oh yeah? Any specific cartoon character or just something general? Mine would be a Wookie.” 

“I think I like Tenjy better than Bed, but again we can figure something out. Maybe go for my full name, Edward. Ednjy? Benward? Better.” Ted began to laugh and grinned. “Nice choice mate, I think mine...hmm...thunder cat.”

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first war || optimism || open

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illiad-amycus

“Senior undersecretary for the Minister only one year out of school? I’d say they’re rather pleased with me actually. You know you can’t actually conceive a child through classism, right? It involves quite a bit more…physicality.”

“Yes, son, I know how to conceive children, as my wife and I have been doing the act. Are you thinking of children?”

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first war || optimism || open

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snapcrackleevans

“Are you really? Tell me about these family plans, that sounds so exciting!”

“Well we’re expecting! Uh, I mean she’s expecting. We made the child together but not really like expecting together since it’s Andie’s body...”

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first war || optimism || open

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benjy-friendwick

“It was your idea in the first place. You’re totally gonna throw them for a loop with that one. They’re really not gonna know what hit ‘em. Imagine having to tell someone that’s how you went down.” 

“This will be the Ted-Benjy combo pack!” He laughed loudly and imagined the people that would get knocked out by the spell. “You know if I could choose my patronus I’d go for a cartoon character.”

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first war || optimism || open

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illiad-amycus

“My god, they let you procreate? How did you even manage, I’ve never thought you lot capable. Though, I suppose the less does have to come from somewhere.”

“I could say the same about your parents mate! They ought to be really disappointed in who you’ve become. Not by the classism and blood purity way but by the other way.”

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first war || optimism || open

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snapcrackleevans

“Jelly-Leg Hex, nice work. Yes well, we do need less conflict these days, I’d say it was a good call to walk away.”

“I’m getting older Lily, I’m nearly going to be a father! I need to be able to walk away and get home to my family.”

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first war || optimism || open

[bonktonks]

illiad-amycus

“What can I say, your misery delights me on a personal and metaphysical level.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble mate, but I’m the happiest I could be. Have a loving wife and we’re planning for a little one.”

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first war || optimism || open

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snapcrackleevans

“Yes, pride indeed.” Lily sighed. “Yes, can’t get away form those arguments, unfortunately. They didn’t turn violent, though, I hope?”

“They tried but luckily I am also a good duelist. No injuries though, just a lot of reflecting and then jelly-leg hexing for the fun of it. Ran off after that since I’m not one to stay for an actual fight.” Ted looked around before leaning in and whispering. “I might saw I’m one to give a good upperfist but really I’d like to avoid conflict.”

[bonktonks]

first war || optimism || open

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illiad-amycus

“As shocking as this may seem, I really do not care.”

“Rad, mate. Then why do you keep talking to me?”