about ready to throw down with terry crews, lads
real sick of these “you can only be complete/good/happy/etc. if THIS SPECIFIC PERSON is in ur life” narratives
Misplaced Lens Cap
Xuebing Du
No title available

No title available
taylor price

No title available
todays bird
h
$LAYYYTER
No title available

Product Placement

ellievsbear
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

pixel skylines

JBB: An Artblog!
NASA

Love Begins

oozey mess
cherry valley forever
we're not kids anymore.
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom

seen from South Africa

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Czechia

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Dominican Republic
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
@boraxio
about ready to throw down with terry crews, lads
real sick of these “you can only be complete/good/happy/etc. if THIS SPECIFIC PERSON is in ur life” narratives
i can’t believe i used to think people my age were adults
the older you are reading this post the funnier it is
My theater teacher use to say “I need an adulter adult” she was a mom of 4
spiderman’s uncle said “with great power comes great responsibility” to mean “use your power as a white man to reform this racist patriarchy we’re in” but tobey maguire responded “you’re not my dad! I’m going to wear a mask” and then uncle ben DIED.
Hancock has exactly ZERO fucks to give about your battle for the commonwealth…
Probably so damn high that he thinks he’s just at some flashy party…
I want to apologise to
- Britney for making fun of her when she had her breakdown
- Monica Lewinski for judging her when she was a 22year old temp sexually assaulted by the most powerful man in the world
- Ke$ha for ever thinking she was trashy when all she wanted to do was make party music
- Kristen Stewart for ever thinking she was dumb when she’s actually one of the coolest people ever
- Megan Fox for ever thinking she was just a slut when actually she was an actress being harassed by her employer.
- Hating all the women who made a career out of having a hot body. Being is shape is hard, beauty is a weapon and auto promotion is hard work.
- All the Mary-Sues, who exist because young girls everywhere want to be part of a story they love so much
- All the female characters I ever snobbed because they got in the way of my ship.
- Hating the color pink during my teenage years, when it’s actually a lovely color and what I resented was society’s pressure to perform femininity.
hozier be like: women. dirt. mud. Her ™
dykes be like: wow……. he understands……
alright babe i’m in the strap aisle what size dick you wear
not naming any names but SOMEone deliberately pissed on me at work today
i’m miffed in part because i really like him and he came up to me say hi and i thought we were going to have a friendly interaction but then all of a sudden he was just. pissing on me
it has come to my attention that i should probably mention that i work with animals
“Ew you’re an adult why are you in fandom” Kid, if being mocked for fandom shit wasn’t enough to stop me when I was an actual 15 year old, hearing it from a 15 year old when I’m 30 is genuinely hilarious
It is kind of amusing when teenagers think their highschool peer pressure shit is going to work on adults. Like, lol you have no power here fetus. My mortgage is a bigger emotional threat to me than you are.
Cringe culture no longer works on me. I was PEAK cringe. You know nothing of the early days
Do not cite the Cringe Magic to me, Witch. I was there when it was written.
I spent all of my teen years being ashamed of my passions. I’m in my 30s now and I openly embrace them and kids, you can too learn to love your passions without shaming yourself or others
Also I will aggressively love my fandoms harder the more you try to shame me so good luck
Let’s Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend
So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist
We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.
I love Kat dearly
but she forgets that she’s stupid strong and hypermobile
so one day she throws her back out
bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn’t stand upright
“But also I needed Tampons and like. A Burrito, real bad.”
she’s flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this
and, in an
impeccable
leap of reasoning, decides
“I can’t roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.
But I can ARCH my back just fine.
SO
I’m going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,
And amble on down to the 7-11”
“And get me that Burrito”
It is,
for context,
after midnight in July during a wildfire so it’s hot as satan’s own asshole and the moon is red and shit’s already generally cursed.
Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world’s deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don’t see anyone’s head over the counters.
Whatever.
Except you keep hearing noises like there’s someone in the next aisle over.
Fucking around in the burrito section
It’s also worth mentioning that Kat
1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she’s not paying attention
2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so
tonight’s song is something from veggietales.
DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND
and/or is really fucking high and isn’t sure if he’s tripping balls or notanyway
Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons
She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire,
exactly
how she used the shelves to climb up the counter
like one of the boston robotics beasties
dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.
“Register’s broke.”
“Oh No!” Says Kat. “Just Take ‘em.” “Really? I can leave cash-you don’t have to give me change I don’t want you to get in trouble with your manager.” “…Nah.” “Oh! OK! Thank you!” “Yeah ok bye.”
Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about "A Suspicious Individual” at tle 7-11.
It took her
FOUR
FUCKING
YEARS
to realize she was the suspicious individual
gay people: h-
screenwriters: lets throw in a 40 years age gap
in a swamp
or in a bog
there’s nothing finer
than a frog 🐸
in the mud
or by the road
there’s nothing slicker
than a toad!!
in a shoe
or in a boot
there’s nothing neater
than a newt!
in the moss
or in a pail
there’s nothing dearer
than a snail 🐌
Happy Black History Month