i’ve lost my youth and young adult life to mental illness and those are years i’ll never fucking get back and it’s not poetic it’s fucking devastating

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@borderlineprincessa-blog
i’ve lost my youth and young adult life to mental illness and those are years i’ll never fucking get back and it’s not poetic it’s fucking devastating
I don't want to feel infected by the gaze of others
dicks out for chronic emptiness
Ignore this.okay have seen a post that has made me consider the possibility that there are people on here who do not actually have bpd as they may think or claim and now I feel uncomfortable that there may be some misguided individuals following me and what one would call the community , taking away from the ability of people with bpd to share their own struggles without them being invalidated. Obviously I have no way of knowing who does and does not have any given disorder, but I am just making this post to express that I feel uncomfortable with the fact that there could be these people out there .I feel hurt when I think about it .anyways just wanted to express my discomfort .not to anyone in particular, and in fact im talking to myself making this post lol im just journaling .because it is upsetting to sit with this feeling
Me, trying to open up to my friends: I feel sad
Them: aw :(
Me: okay I'm never doing that again
BPD stands for
Bsad Pempty Dbitch
u ever obsess about killing yourself cuz all the attention youd get nd people’d cry and realize they couldve been better to you nd u want them to feel The Guilt
u ever do this so much u know something’s wrong with u
people: im watching a movie
me, a maladaptive daydreamer: im watching this movie that soon will be one of my daydreams because i cant watch movies normally and i HAVE to alter it into my daydreams or else
new cryptid
whatever the fuck my original personality was before i was depressed
via weheartit
I wish I could be a better friend but I just don't #feel
I am feeling romantically lonely tonight. Steeping in sadness. Hopefully I'll just have to hold on until the morning, when I will with any luck once again feel cold and empty and not care for relationships...