Well put. It regards to Lawless, the cynical side of me thinks that as the show went on she realized she had a very devoted fan base (gay and straight) that shipped Gabrielle and Xena and realized she could cultivate a long-term relationship with these fans, who would then support her throughout the rest of her career and future endeavors. Look at how the fan-actor following has made the careers (or at least paid the mortgage) of many a Trek actor.
Showrunners obviously saw it, too, and wrote in subtext to get ratings and keep the show on the air. I feel, though, if a show is going to do that, they need to pick a side and stop teasing the audience. Make your decision and live with it. However, Xena was, what, a ’90s show? Hooking up the ladies would have been a much bolder move then than now.
In regards to OUAT, I see three possible theories:
1. SQ was endgame from conception and the viewers figured it out away too soon. They can’t tip their hand or they ruin the “surprise,” hence the retconning (Marian, we hardly knew ye) and peen parade we’re seeing in S2 & 3. Remember, in fairy tales the lovers face obstacle after obstacle and happy endings don’t come until…the end.
2. SQ wasn’t endgame, but A&E are hedging their bets and considering it. Chris Carter admitted he never saw Mulder & Scully as a couple until Season 7. 7! (No way OUAT gets to 7, IMO. S5 max, I would think.) A&E could be trying to see which way the wind blows, but the longer they dick around, the more they piss everyone off.
3. SQ is not endgame, but the pro-SQ faction is so large and vociferous, if they admit it or drastically alter any R-E possibilities, they will lose a ton of viewers and get a lot of bad press.
Look at the ruckus post ComicCon last summer (which they handled horribly and were absolute idiots for not going in with a prepared non-offensive answer if the subject arose) and then Coleman the mental midget (which A&E and LP & JMo handled well.)
If SQ is not endgame, I would not want to be A&E as they have intentionally written the story to the point in which if they don’t end up together, they’re going to get pilloried, deservedly so.