The most miserable son of a bitch on the planet

[TF2 RP blog for a retired demo. Blog may be subject to NSFW content including, but not limited to sexual content, violence, gore, profanity, and other potentially triggering themes. Please follow at your own discretion. Character's views do not necessarily reflect that of the mod.]

[borgatabadass]

hillcountry-hippie-hardhat replied to your post:*Walks right up and hugs him tightly.*

Wyatt don’t let me replace any more body parts with mechanics, alright? Just don’t. If I start talkin’ about cuttin’ my legs off and replacin’ them or something just lock me in a closet.

Wh-?

Babe if ya started talkin like that, I'd beat ya up and find out who ya really were, that don't even sound remotely like ya.

Not exactly like ya did that fer funsies like Kapoop did.

-Taps her robohand tenderly.-

[borgatabadass]

*Walks right up and hugs him tightly.*

-Is taken aback by this sudden affection, curiously regarding her while squeezing her back.-

Ey darlin, what's eatin ya?

[borgatabadass]

Damn was there just a contest ta see who could make the cruelest,  weirdest punishment around?

Some of these don’t even make sense! BY

[ourmissdes]

……..  *walks up and sits in front of him*

I still see them at night.

[borgatabadass]

…. What? You high or something Des? Because I hope ya bought it from Willie. If not she’ll be all miffed.

[ourmissdes]

NNooo.  I haven’t had weed in…..a week?

I just.  I see these shadows.  Sometimes they’re animals and sometimes I see men.  Surrounded by color.  I woke up last night and a little black rabbit was sleeping on me.

Do you see them too?  *gazes up at him like a fuckin Espurr’s soulless gaze*

[borgatabadass]

Y: So yer on the cocaine then? I used ta push that too, I’ll be honest with ya, since yer a friend. I wouldn’t recommend it. Shit’s crazy. I don’t see shit ya toked out motherfucker. -Looks around anyways though, as if he would. He didn’t.-

[ourmissdes]

NNnnnoooooooooo I’m not!  I mean, I think…..Bathorrryyy put shit in me and I don’t know what it was.  But I see colors.  Sometimes I smell colors.  I see a lot of animals.

At least I’m not sick anymore.  *curls up on the floor*

[borgatabadass]

-He stares at her skeptically, stuff that makes you hallucination? Yeah right.- Ya sure she didn't hit ya on the head one too many times?

[borgatabadass]

unfrickintouchable replied to your post:Damn was there just a contest ta see who could…

/laughs ruefully in the distance/

Ey.

What happened ta you? They beat ya up or somethin?

[biteybrat-deactivated20180118]

Detention for a month, an’ I’m stuck on blackboard duty after class, /he replies sardonically./ …None a’ your goddamn business, is what I’m tryna say.

[borgatabadass]

Oh shit, she made ya a little bitch that gets his vagina in a twist fer nothin? Bum luck bro.

[borgatabadass]

Damn was there just a contest ta see who could make the cruelest,  weirdest punishment around?

Some of these don’t even make sense! BY

[ourmissdes]

……..  *walks up and sits in front of him*

I still see them at night.

[borgatabadass]

…. What? You high or something Des? Because I hope ya bought it from Willie. If not she’ll be all miffed.

[ourmissdes]

NNooo.  I haven’t had weed in…..a week?

I just.  I see these shadows.  Sometimes they’re animals and sometimes I see men.  Surrounded by color.  I woke up last night and a little black rabbit was sleeping on me.

Do you see them too?  *gazes up at him like a fuckin Espurr’s soulless gaze*

[borgatabadass]

Y: So yer on the cocaine then? I used ta push that too, I'll be honest with ya, since yer a friend. I wouldn't recommend it. Shit's crazy. I don't see shit ya toked out motherfucker. -Looks around anyways though, as if he would. He didn't.-

[borgatabadass]

unfrickintouchable replied to your post:Damn was there just a contest ta see who could...

/laughs ruefully in the distance/

Ey.

What happened ta you? They beat ya up or somethin?

[borgatabadass]

Damn was there just a contest ta see who could make the cruelest,  weirdest punishment around?

Some of these don’t even make sense! BY

[ourmissdes]

……..  *walks up and sits in front of him*

I still see them at night.

[borgatabadass]

.... What? You high or something Des? Because I hope ya bought it from Willie. If not she'll be all miffed.

[borgatabadass]

Damn was there just a contest ta see who could make the cruelest,  weirdest punishment around?

Some of these don't even make sense! BY

[offtovisityourmother-blog]

Maybe if we get him a corgi he'll feel more like royalty.

Oh, god no. The poor dog doesn’t deserve that.

[borgatabadass]

Pets are for lesser men anyways.

[borgatabadass]

-Goes around making face at everybody.-

[borgatabadass]

Hey look guys, I'm Amir!

I’m gay, and all my plans are dumb and my brain ain’t that special! Also watch me eat my smelly foreign foods that stink up all the places.

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

Hey okay for ONE Indian food is fucking AMAZING and everything else is ALSO a lie. 

[borgatabadass]

-Puffs out chest and continues to mock him, turning on the worst, most offensive Indian accent he could.- My name is Amir Kapoop, I am the biggest poop. I was given my name by my father Ahmed Adoodi.

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

-Throws the heftiest rock he can find in his proximity at Doc’s head- 

My name’s Doc and I’m too fuckin’ DAFT to realize Amir doesn’t even HAVE an Indian accent in the first place. 

[borgatabadass]

-Ducks- Ouch, my poor Indian bum, it’s hurt from how poor a sport I am! Ahh, save me Brahma, for I’m too much of a little bitch ta live.

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

-Picks up rockets and dirt clots and throws those too- 

UggghhHHHHHHHHSHUTUP.

God DAMN it, I’m gonna base my robot off you because you’re such a pain in the ARSE it’ll kill people outta sheer annoyance. Bloody run on FRIED CHICKEN AND FOOD STAMPS. 

[borgatabadass]

-Starts ducking and dodging masterfully, if he pulls it off seamlessly Amir won’t even notice he’s gaining ground on him.- OH PRAISE BE SHIVA, MY BUM WILL NEVER STOP GAPING! -Starts making sounds that can only be described as vaguely Indian in the most racist of ways, he eventually pauses long enough to tackle him.-

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

-Doc is right to assume he doesn’t notice that the Demo is steadily gaining ground, he’s just too busy screaming and chucking whatever looks heavy and harmful until before he knows it yep he’s been tackled. Skips the pretenses and lunges for his throat- 

GET TA FOOK OFF ME YA BLOODY WANKAH. 

[borgatabadass]

-Doc has to steady himself, because he's too busy laughing, it was always amusing to him how easy it was to rile up Amir.- OH FOOK YOU YA FOOKIN TOSSER! -Starts making vaguely british screaming noises before he starts raining down the punches.-

[borgatabadass]

Hey look guys, I'm Amir!

I’m gay, and all my plans are dumb and my brain ain’t that special! Also watch me eat my smelly foreign foods that stink up all the places.

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

Hey okay for ONE Indian food is fucking AMAZING and everything else is ALSO a lie. 

[borgatabadass]

-Puffs out chest and continues to mock him, turning on the worst, most offensive Indian accent he could.- My name is Amir Kapoop, I am the biggest poop. I was given my name by my father Ahmed Adoodi.

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

-Throws the heftiest rock he can find in his proximity at Doc’s head- 

My name’s Doc and I’m too fuckin’ DAFT to realize Amir doesn’t even HAVE an Indian accent in the first place. 

[borgatabadass]

-Ducks- Ouch, my poor Indian bum, it’s hurt from how poor a sport I am! Ahh, save me Brahma, for I’m too much of a little bitch ta live.

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

-Picks up rockets and dirt clots and throws those too- 

UggghhHHHHHHHHSHUTUP.

God DAMN it, I’m gonna base my robot off you because you’re such a pain in the ARSE it’ll kill people outta sheer annoyance. Bloody run on FRIED CHICKEN AND FOOD STAMPS. 

[borgatabadass]

-Starts ducking and dodging masterfully, if he pulls it off seamlessly Amir won't even notice he's gaining ground on him.- OH PRAISE BE SHIVA, MY BUM WILL NEVER STOP GAPING! -Starts making sounds that can only be described as vaguely Indian in the most racist of ways, he eventually pauses long enough to tackle him.-

[bluscoutliam]

BOOOOOOoooo

BT

I was amped for a fight. 

[borgatabadass]

… We could always fight! I’ve been fixin ta test yer boxin skills noways!

[bluscoutliam]

YEA

Let’s do it, let’s do it. Yer gonna beat the tar outta me but I’m game. 

[borgatabadass]

Hey, never say never til the last punch is thrown fella! Ya never know, sittin about doing nothin but fucking hot babes might have softened me up.

[bluscoutliam]

BOOOOOOoooo

BT

I was amped for a fight. 

[borgatabadass]

... We could always fight! I've been fixin ta test yer boxin skills noways!

[borgatabadass]

Hey look guys, I'm Amir!

I’m gay, and all my plans are dumb and my brain ain’t that special! Also watch me eat my smelly foreign foods that stink up all the places.

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

Hey okay for ONE Indian food is fucking AMAZING and everything else is ALSO a lie. 

[borgatabadass]

-Puffs out chest and continues to mock him, turning on the worst, most offensive Indian accent he could.- My name is Amir Kapoop, I am the biggest poop. I was given my name by my father Ahmed Adoodi.

[indepententlyasinine-blog]

-Throws the heftiest rock he can find in his proximity at Doc’s head- 

My name’s Doc and I’m too fuckin’ DAFT to realize Amir doesn’t even HAVE an Indian accent in the first place. 

[borgatabadass]

-Ducks- Ouch, my poor Indian bum, it's hurt from how poor a sport I am! Ahh, save me Brahma, for I'm too much of a little bitch ta live.

[borgatabadass]

Whoah fellas!

C'mon, guns already? Those are for after somebody loses!

-Ducks behind something solid.-

[borgatabadass]

MAN! You guys are as boring as plain white bread! We're a bunch of fighters, somebody beat the shit out of somebody.

MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND YER POINT WITH PAIN.