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@bosoon-ikmr
Bozena Finale
This week was gr8, glad to be with yāall. Today was a lil rough. Went to sleep kinda late las night and I had to work a 10 hour shift. But I kept myself busy the entire time and didnāt hate it as much as I thought I would.
Plus it was raining and cold so today was kinda lame but I thank god for giving me another day.
Thanks for a gr8 week team. Love yāall
Bozena 6
Today was really tough and gr8 at the same time. I had a final and I think I did ok but ya never know. I woke up to go to school and study for 4 hours then take the quiz and man my studying habits are rough.
Then after that I stopped by the middle school workshop just to see zenas and help a lil bit. And I expected to just do lame work and not get anything really good out of it but that wasnāt the case. I got to catch up with cecilia, melissa, and alex, and it was nice. I understand the heart and work of core staff and how it goes so I felt really helpful and empowered. Also watching our kids teach and lead was very inspirational and beautiful. Iām honestly just really proud of my md and dc boys staffing this workshop and going hard. On the way there I decided to use this workshop as a mini prep for the winter workshop and that didnāt really work cuz I just ended up doung core staff tings. But it was nice to help the staff and to talk and see that theyāre starting to take initiative in their own ways. Even during brothers night, I wanted to talk for each question but I decided to let the staff do their thing and own their workshop and they killed it!!! So proud of them. Then driving home with my thoughts was lowkey nice, cuz I was just reminiscing on when they were younger.
Bozena Tano
Today was chill, recovering from yesterday. I visited the msw and zenas and now Iām home chillin.
Is a good day.
Bozena 4 life
Rip man sorry for not writing this yesterday. I got home at like 6:30am exactly. So I was ded.
But yesterday was a profound day. I had slept in and basically I woke up at like 1 to get ready to see my fam. Usually on thanksgiving my sister will host it at her house but this time, my mom invited everyone to the church to celebrate. And I didnāt really know our plans until we were leaving lol. So at first it was really lame, and boring but chang and his dad came over to spend thanksgiving with us. And me and him decided to push to play cards. And we did. MAN IT WAS LITTT. We played daiheimi (idk if thatās how itās spelled) but yo I was crushing. I won 1rst 4/5 games we played and 2nd for the last one. It was really fun. Then I left to go talk to yāall and I enjoyed that too. Then we were supposed to ācloseā, but then my mom put us on da spot and we had to go around to say what we were thankful for. Being the youngest, I was first and man I hate being cheesy so I said some basic shallow stuff. Then my sister kinda the same. But then my mom and my brother and my older older sister and dad went and maaaaaannnn. I was trying so hard not to cry. It was really cute and heart felt and other people cried and yuh. Especially my mom, she flexed with her love that night. Then on the way home, I had a good and NATURAL conversation with my brother, and those are really rare which is why it took so long for me to talk to yāall
But then at the same time, I appreciated you 2, waiting for me and suffering thru the hours it took. Mannn I felt loved from everyone in my life but yāall stood out cuz idk who else in the staff wouldāve waited that long for me. I felt really bad and yāall know my burden jont but yāall stuck thru it and I really appreciate it.
This thanksgiving was dope man
Bozena Day Trois
Today was pretty awesome. I didnāt have work or school so I slept in and maaaaan, I needed it. I woke up at like 1 and then I decided to make this traditional kenyan flatbread called chapati. It takes like 4 hours to make so I usually donāt do it, also Iāve never really mastered the recipe. My mom and one of my sisters can make it like amazing so Iām tryna to learn. So I YouTubed it and followed the video/ what I would see my fam doing when they cooked it. And maaaaanmm. It was almost perfect. I just misread the recipe and added 2 tbsp of salt instead of tsp. So it was uhhhhhh jus a lill ityy bit SALTY. But it wasnāt bad and after I finished I had to take a shower cuz my body was covered in flour, so after that I decided to make my own kinda spa day. Lol I shaved and used this new hair product on my hair and cleaned my bathroom afterwards and it was dope. Today was a solid Me day and it was great. Sometimes I appreciate the quietness of my own company which was something I struggled with growing up. Plus there was this dope asss sunset, so I felt god was flexing on my day tooo. Twas a good day. Thank
Bozena Dos
Today was interesting lol, I also had a weird dream and I rarely dream so it was wild to have one. I think I only remembered it cuz my alarm pissed me off by waking me up. It was a totally weird dream so I just decided to leave it behind and not add meaning to it.
Went to work today and it was an interesting. Wasnāt great, wasnāt horrible. It started off fine, my favorite coworkers came to shop while they were off so I got to talk to them a bit. But then I had to deal with cosmetic and nail stuff, and that stuff is maaaaadd annoying to sort thru. So after I finished it, I took a break and sat down in my car to chill. Which I usually never do. Then when I got back, I was sooooo exhausted and got a headache idk why. It was rough for like 30mins. Then it got slightly better. Cuz another worker came in and that meant that I wouldnāt have to deal with people anymore so the rest of the night was chill.
Then I came home and passed out until like 3mins ago. Woke up and wrote dis post. Loll
Bozena Ichi
Today was pretty chill. I had a single pancake for breakfast and I went to work. This lady who used to be the assistant store manager came back today. Her name is cristie and basically her dad passed away like 3 months ago, like 2 weeks after I got hired and she left for that. Shes uh usually problematic and really lazy. She always wants to do extra work but pushes it on others and she doesnāt really own up to her mistakes. So I wasnāt excited this morning to have her back and to have to deal with her again. But I just decided to get it over with and work with her. Cuz there was literally no way to avoid her. She only annoyed me once which was totally different from when I got hired.
So I caught myself like already judging her and it almost ruined our relationship cuz I decided to avoid her. But then half way thru the day I decided to not do that cuz sheās been thru alot and I just wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. After that the rest of the day was pretty good. She only annoyed me once, I can explain on the call if yāall want. But yeah I totally rediscovered how limiting and destructive expectations can be both internally and in the relationships we have. So Iāll try to watch myself for yāall so we donāt have noooooo problems cuz I wanna make the best of this workshop with yāall.
Then during my lunch break I caught up with Sara a lil bit just on our feelings for the workshop and everything, and it was noice. Shoutout to Sara. And I also talked to a bc who I just found out exsisted like a month ago and she lives in dc and we worked together on the revial concert. So that was cool, I felt popular today. Twas noice. Now Iām home and ready to chilll afff.
Tonight had me thinking about where I am. Iāve realized that Iāve been kinda coasting and not really reflecting on me or being intentional. So Iām gonna try and do that more. Idk maybe itās just the weather making me feel all weird, but Iām gonna start that journey to rediscover myself. Everythings about to change again and idk if Iām ready. Sorry lol Iām being very vague. My days are pretty basic, just school and work, so I write wtv I feel in the moment here. Im not sad just introspective. But I appreciate yāall joining me on my journey, I appreciate the support.
Also shoutout to Team BOZENA, we bouta rock the house. Iām PUMPED for our journey together.
Tumblr has some dope gifs, shoutout to tumblr. This condition is one of my fave, itās cool to see into your minds and stuff.
I appreciate the good vibes and positive messages that you all write. I know mine are like too wierdly deep and analytical in comparison but I do appreciate the good vibes. A wise man once told me to surround yourself with people who remind you of your best self, donāt repress it. Yāall do that for me so thank.
Today was pretty cool, on Saturdays I drive 45mins to gaithersburg for i.t school, for those of you who arenāt aware. School was chill, itās about to end in 2 weeks and Iām lowkey not ready to be done yet. But I guess it doesnāt wait for me. Idk sometimes Iām like āIām young af, Iāll be alrightā, then within the next hour Iām the opposite, rushing to ābe an adultā or wtv it is. Everytime I start prepping for finals, I try and think about my purpose in school and education.
Awhile ago I read this post on instagram that said āat some point, our goals have changed from passing the exam, to escaping this place. We donāt study because we want to become something, we study because weāre scared weāll become nothing.ā When I read this post it hit me so hard and from that day I decided to try and give meaning to school and my career rather than it being this thing I need to do, into something I want to do. Cuz I know once I meet my requirements Iām out. Cuz the school system sucks man. How you gonna make me pay tuition, to make me pay to park, to make me pay to get access codes, to make me pay to buy supplies and scantrons.
Anyways not trying to attack school, just wanna be done. But at the sametime, nothing is guaranteed after Iām done soooooooooooooooo yuh. But itās lowkey kinda fun to challenge the system. I think as long as youāre content in your heart with school or your actions or wtv. Then it wonāt feel so āheavyā? Idk am I making sense. I think finding your own peace and happiness ultimately comes from you right. Cuz we have to make the most of our days annd we give them meaning. Itās all grayscale until we splash some color on there huh? Anyways lemme end with this quote I found in my notes, idk who made it, I mightāve or not. I have no idea.
Life is like a river you donāt know where itās going to bend and twist and turn. But what you do know is you, what do you stand for, who are you. When you can answer that, then no matter where the river takes you, youāll find that you were always where you were meant to be.
Lmao, this is long now sorry gn
Today
Was pretty dope, not gonna lie. Work was fun, basically me and like the ābig boiā manager are the only males in the workplace. So today we talked abour music and pop culture, heās from philly and heās kinda old but really cool. Normally at work Iām quiet and I just get my job done and donāt make effort to talk to coworkers. But it was nice to talk to him today.
Yoooooo,
Then I went to sheetz for lunch, cuz one of my coworkers gave me a motzerella stick and it was bomb. Yo sheetz is slept on, wawa is dope but Iām officially a sheetz fan.
Then I got a bunch of my work goals done like an hour before I left so it wasnāt stressful to leave. Man, work today was solid.
Then I got a random call from an old friend and we talked for like 2 hours. Honestly I love when stuff like this happens cuz itās just nice to catch up and remenise on good times. Idk itās just nice to be missed I guess. We talked about anime and volleyball and memories. Man twas a dope convo.
The call made me kinda realize, that I really have to go after my own happiness. When I moved up here I decided to make no effort to contact people, just to see who would keep in touch. Man, mad people didnāt and I was mad sad for a month or 2. Of course I wasnāt mad, just kinda hurt that everything could move on without me. But when I stopped expecting things from others and really fighting for my own happiness then it happened. Iāve been coasting through a lot of things for awhile and Iām trying to come back from it. Add a little of myself to everything I do to give it meaning, rather than just coast. Itās scary and sometimes feels awkward to just go after it, but if my friend didnāt call me who knows how lame my night wouldāve been. Probably wouldāve done something horrible like homework. (Rip bouta go do it now š). I am a part of the root of my problems and issues, but this was a good reminder that I can be the root of my own happiness, if I just go for it.
But Yeye das it, gn fam
ps, it wasnāt luke. Guess that just happened to both of us
Idk why I chose this gif for today, just saw it and I resonated.
Anyways todays accidentally eventful thing was going through my Facebook history and seeing what was there. I was procrastinating on doing homework and it just happened. MANN there was a lot of stuff that I deleted lol. I didnāt realize how cringey I was. Oof man some of them things was baaaad. Idk lowkey had me reflecting on how far Iāve come as a person. Where I guess when Facebook was just starting I was a kid and since my parents didnāt know it existed yet, I could use it. Itās pretty crazy how different I am and thinking back to when I wrote or cliked or shared these posts.
Time really does change people huh? Or is it people that give time meaning?
Like I know God prepares us in a slowcooker and the older we get the more experience and understanding we have. Is it a good thing though, I guess for me it is. But I know some people where they got worse as time passed. Started out as some dope people and then gave up I guess.
Is that where free will comes into play? Since time just kinda happens? Like I know I have the power to make the most of my time but sometimes I donāt, is that a waste or will it just be forgotten like everything else unmeaningful? Sorry Iām pretty crazy rn, itās what tumblr does to me.
What are the answers idk, you decide. āNow youāre gonna carry that weight.ā
Idk what to write about lol. Today was a pretty basic day. I guess the meeting was cool. True parents are dope, first gen are dope.
Like I couldnāt imagine dropping everything and going to like CaMboDia or wtv. Like that āabsolute faith, absolute loveā they always say. Could I do that? Would I? Lol no tbh, I donāt think I could
Oh yeah the other day, I remembered opening my window while driving and I was in traffic and there were some leaves in this forest. Then I remembered this really weird longing and sadness that I havenāt been in nature in forever. I gotta get out more fam.
Sorry these are just really random thoughts of mine. Itās wierd being out here in the middle of the mountains. Makes you introspective a lot.
Yooo, thereās this church song called āthe heart of my countryā, jont is a BANGER. Makes me think of first gen and is probably the most underrated church song. Them lyrics and that melody are FIREEEE.
Sorry, and thanks for listening. Make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. Oh wait if youāre seeing this then you subscribed nvm.
Yooo, you guys actually reflect on the mission statement and have some great thoughts. Iām proud of yāall
Now to throw you off. Today I thought kinda a lot about society and humans in general. I was at work starving and thinking about anything to get my mind off of food. Then I remembered that the only reason we donāt die more frequently when driving is because we follow these white lines and make a mutual agreement not to play real bumper cars. And how even when we designed a system that should work and if everyone perfectly followed rules then people wouldnāt crash all the time. Itās crazy how so much is designed for us to not make problems out of it but with human nature and āfeelingsā everything can go wrong. Satans world is pretty wild yoo. If we achieved heaven on earth what would stop some butthole from messing stuff up again, or is that not how it works?
Anyways on a more positive less exsistensial thought, I guess thatās what makes good humans shine huh. Like there are some dope people out there who just do good because they want to. Like even with all the craziness in the world there are still good people, god or no god, or even 40 of em. Iāve met and worked with some awesome people who just in character alone are good people. No wonder god couldnāt give up on them, maybe if everyone lived and loved more creatively and carefully then there would be no āevilā. Because I donāt think anyone is born messed up theyāre taught, maybe not directly all the time. But majority of people who commit crimes and mess up the world have horrible families. Itās crazy how the ROOT of all good and evil can come from a family. If itās messed up, pain brings more pain. If itās great love brings more love. Itās simple yet wild and mildly terrifying.
Anyways Iām gonna stop there, thanks for reading.
This basically describes my day today, nothing super eventful. I didnāt have work or school today so it was a laundry and chill type day.
I talked to mama bear about the workshop today and it was fun. This workshop isnāt stressing me out as bad as the last 2, which is making me freak out because I feel like I should be. Does this mean Iām just more experienced and prepared, or does it mean that Iāve lost motivation? Idk maybe Iām overthinking it too much. Gray skies make me think a lot. I read my old posts just to see what kind of person I was and to remembered everything that happened and man that was an experience. I sound pretty lame sometimes huh? Lol nvm. Crazy how much different this year and last year were. But I guess that what time is supposed to do eh? Meh, sorry this isnāt that great a post but thanks for reading š.
Listening
Man yo this winter workshop is lowkey coming mad fast.Ā Right now I donāt feel as prepared as last year tbh but maybe thatās because I donāt need to be. Iāve been trying to listen to what God is trying to tell me. I feel like Iāve been hearing what other people think that he wants me to and I just go with it. But I havenāt been actually listening to what heās been telling me. Like yesterday when I was reflecting, I looked down and saw this little metal beads that were attached to my nail cutter. It was in a heart shape for some reason, I have no idea it was just there. After typing about self love, I felt like it was a sign and I thanked God. Idk rn God is like my best friend and I instead of thinking to myself I just ask his opinion and itās pretty gr8. Maybe Iām becoming a prophet or something LOL.Ā
Iām super excited for this workshop and Aiwa was honestly my 1st choice in partner (sorry lol), and it came to happen. Maybe itās the secret that someone was talking about and all that stuff. IDK but weāre bouta wreck and Iām so happy to be a part of this amazing adventure called spiritual growth.
You
Man dash was a blast, itās been literally a month since Iāve been in the building and I miss it and seeing all of yaāll every week. But I got to talk about self love and growth and man it was fun. Awhile ago Luke asked me what I could impromptu lecture on (other than music) and honestly I could do this again. It was really a liberating experience to give my heart out and help the kids think about how to really be able to love themselves. I felt like it was meant to be and hopefully someone got something out of it. Dude tumblr is lowkey great for spiritual growth, I found some really profound quotes out here that helped me. You gotta learn where to look doh. Iāve been praying about improving myself to be a better leader and person for these kids to look up to and I feel like maybe god wanted me to listen to my own talk. A sort of reminder that iām not as bad as I think. So Iāve kinda been using every chance I get to grow for this workshop and be better and honestly giving this talk was some great practice. Novembers about to end in like 2 weeks and Iām not ready!!!!!!
Also board games with henri and kentoku was fun and I hadnāt done something like that in a long time. Just some chill af board games, I felt like I needed it to kinda refresh myself, thanks guys.Ā
Ps. I challenge you to watch this, youāre lame if you donāt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh9N1A5gnR0
Poopity scoop
Today was cool uh I went out to play volleyball with toan and some other friends and it was cool. I donāt really have much instight today. It was school work then volleyball, yo but honestly there were some annoying people there ooof. Sometimes maintaining heavenly culture is hard. Thanks for reading lol