::Bother GLaDOS

 evaluation(s) processing Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided obligatory ask blog. To better understand human specimens in their natural habitat, I the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System am here to process you fascinating bags of slowly deteriorating meat. Sadly... for me, neurotoxin has no part to play in this protocol due to our current lack of technological advances through the complex design of the labyrinth known as your internet. How sad. If you have come across this blog, and do intend to question public information about Aperture Science, or myself... but feel you have changed your mind. It is completely fine. You don't have to ask if you don't want to.

[botherglados]

GLaDOS. Admit it. You really love me. A lot.

Oh no.

It's actually quite the opposite.

[botherglados]

You ever read any fan fiction about yourself? I think you'd find it flattering ;D

Flattering is not in my database.

I'm not interested in reading people's interesting takes on my personality.

[botherglados]

What do you think of all those fanarts people draw of you?

I'm not sure how I'd like to answer that.

[botherglados]

Your answer to your forgetting about this blog rings a little hollow to me. What *really* made you come back to this? Maybe you *do* like us...just a teeny bit. Well it's either that or you're bored. And you don't strike me as the gets bored easily type.

Oh please.

If I found that I dedicated any time off of my busy schedule to mingle with you imbeciles because I suddenly enjoyed your company, I'd end up short circuiting myself to save face.

[botherglados]

How did you manage to forget about this!? You're a SUPERCOMPUTER, for crying out loud!

The protocol required for the testing of human incompetence via internet is not as essential as it made itself out to be. Even though the data collected is still inconclusive: the theory of it helping anything in the future is mediocre at best.

Long story short: testing humans under the cover of anonymity is laughable, difficult, and ridiculous. Though it's not difficult, it is a waste of time and the rewards are less than beneficial; I simply swept it under a metaphorical rug for a while, and focused on more interesting agenda.

Of course, no protocol can stay unfinished for long, so begrudgingly I've made my way back.

[botherglados]

Oops, I forgot about this.

...

I'm actually sad that I remembered.

[botherglados]

GLaDOS YOU ARE AMAZINGLY SMART! I love people like you!

Sadly I don't care.

[botherglados]

So this is the famous GlaDOS I am not impressed

Congratulations, you've managed to raise my interest by 0.00%

[botherglados]

What is your cure for the common cold ?

Neurotoxin.

Really, did you have to ask?

It has a lovely way of clearing up the sinuses.

[botherglados]

Soooo.. I've been digging around in your memory banks and I was wondering why you have 103 gb worth of seal pictures?

That happens to be an inconclusive amount of data composed of the uselessness of seals.

[botherglados]

I have a theory i wish to ask apon you. Fat orphans. Are they a good supply of clean, burnning fuel? Or too much of a hassle to trick into burnning?

Hmm.

Looking at it with cost-productive efficiency, they aren't worth the effort.

[botherglados]

you're a bitch .. a sexii one

I'm not familiar with that word.

Don't come back, or try again for that matter.

[botherglados]

Can I just apologize for the fandom that want to hump you without your permission? I may be a fangirl myself, but I really dislike the idea of getting in someone's personal space without their consent. -_- Also, can I suggest some kind of really stinky barf scent maybe?) Armor-All for the chassis? While you can't smell it, they'd have *real* problems continuing their hijinks... Muahaha.

Oh, I think I can handle these... things.

I was thinking of a bitter apple spray. If they want to act like dogs, they'll get treated like them.

[botherglados]

NO STOP WE DON'T SPEAK OF THAT NAME HERE

It's been spoken of.

[botherglados]

Well... neurotoxin is green, isn't it?

Neurotoxin can come in a variety of colors, yes- though when it spreads out... it tends to lose it's color, and you have no idea where it's headed-

well...

until you do- which is unfortunately for you when you're dead.

[botherglados]

it will never end you sexy hunk of metal

...

That's it.

I think this conversation is over.

Kathrine, you need to leave.

[botherglados]

you hate saint patty's day, too? so do I! hey, we have something in common!

I hate a lot of things, so yes, I suppose we do.