whatever wherever whenever bagel blog

my name is hal. ig is bottledmoonlight

[bottledmoonlighte]

What I Wish I Had Said When My Mother Told Me She Had Cancer

---

happy fricken mothers day

[bottledmoonlighte]

life is a party

life is a party that nobody comes to

at least the ones that i've held.

i tried to plan parties for friends

but no one came

so i gave up and tried again

i tried to throw parties for strangers, just to have some fun

but they all had parties of their own

so no one showed, not one

i wished i had been invited

to a party i didn't have to plan

a couple times i invited myself

but that got me thrown in the can

in girl scouts, just 8, i tried to throw a party,

the other girls had success

i asked them to come to mine

they all had places to be, i guess

in high school i tried six times

for halloween, my birthday, and other things

but even if i made the food really cute

and the movie and games so fun

no one gave the doorbell a ring

not a single one

it's confusing to me now

people say you gotta ask for what you want

but when i tell people im so sad and alone

and i wish they would spend time with me

however they might like

in big ways or small

it doesnt matter

they say "what do you mean? look what all you've got!"

"you're so lucky! you have such good friends!"

but it's from people i thought *were* my friends

so why then am i certain

that no one would care or notice

if my life came to an end?

why do i feel like no matter the place

no one will come to me in the end?

i go to them and im a fly on the wall

or just an escape to pretend.

im alone

im alone

i cry at the sky

why did you leave me here?

life began for me all alone.

why did i even come here

[bottledmoonlighte]

and we are back

[bottledmoonlighte]

my son and my son's son.

[bottledmoonlighte]

i've been posting these on my insta so i'll put them here too. this was for fathers day, part 1. i havent finished it yet

[bottledmoonlighte]

and fuck you, in particular, my good sir.

[bottledmoonlighte]

no spoilers!!!! im barely into book one. I imagined this is right before he joins The Black, trying on the clothes that will keep him warm on long watches. I also imagine them slightly more ornate in subtle ways than the other Watchers garb, primarily due to the status (and love) of Jon's father.

[bottledmoonlighte]

little doodle from me to me. and my kitties to protect me

[bottledmoonlighte]

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year. I'm really happy and proud that i finished my entire hobonichi techo this year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre

[bottledmoonlighte]

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre

[bottledmoonlighte]

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre

[bottledmoonlighte]

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre

[bottledmoonlighte]

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre

[bottledmoonlighte]

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

hobonichi from 2nd half of 2024: juillet / août / septembre / octobre / novembre / decembre

[bottledmoonlighte]

art vs. artist 2024

[bottledmoonlighte]

[bottledmoonlighte]