bottomgangwriting

21, he/him/his, bi, writing gender neutral, male, and female reader stuff, adults only | MASTERLIST

[bottomgangwriting]

MASTERLIST

I will add stuff to this whenever I have objectively too much free time.

Wednesday Addams (Wednesday Series)

ya mgepnah wgah'nagl (GN, M, and F versions)

Tara Carpenter (Scream)

What's the Opposite of Getting Ghosted? (GN)

Aestyhs (WH40K Dark Eldar)

The Warp Traveller (GN)

Daniela Dimitrescu (Resident Evil Village)

What's Your Blood Type? (GN)

Trilla Suduri (Star Wars)

Don't Go Bracca'n My Heart (GN)

[ask-games-from-a-weird-girl]

Reblog this and let people send you asks (anonymously or not) about how they would describe your fics, your writing style or just anything they've thought about when reading your work

[bottomgangwriting]

your thoughts on a potential format change to ya mgep'nah?

hey, so as i continue working on mgep'nah, i realized that it might be easier for me to write in second person (using words such as you/yours/you're in reference to the reader character) and am considering altering previous chapters to be in this format. the reasons for this are as follows:

i want it to be as accessible as possible. if i continue how it is now, there would still be three separate versions for male, female, and gender neutral readers, but with my recent additions of asexual and touch-avoidant versions, that number would jump to five. that seems a bit fragmented and unwieldy to me, so thats part of why im considering changing the format to second person. that way, alternate versions for the readers gender would only be required for chapters where the reader is referred to in the third person. it would streamline the distribution of each chapter, making the masterlist easier to navigate.

also, it would significantly reduce the amount of time it takes for me to pump out chapters, what with retroactively changing pronouns and articles. this change would mean you would get more content more frequently.

so, with all that said...

should i change to second person (you/yours/you're)?

yeah sure

no i prefer it how it is now

Voting ended onMay 30, 2023

[phoenixyfriend]

Reblog if you write fanfic and would be totally down with your followers coming into you askbox and talking to you about your fic

[vcigar2]

wheres all the support for the emotional abuse victims

[vcigar2]

no, seriously. victims of emotional abuse have it hard because they do not have the physical marks or the records to “prove” to someone they were hurt and are hurting. most people will not take emotional abuse as seriously as physical abuse, saying “you should get over it” or “sticks and stones”. thats fucking bullshit.

emotional abuse victims who have been forced to do or say or be things you never wanted to, i love you.

emotional abuse victims who have been gaslighted and manipulated to the point where you no longer know what is real, i care for you.

emotional abuse victims who are told they will never be loved by anyone else and they are not a good person, you are amazing.

emotional abuse victims who feel manipulative and often catch themselves mirroring actions of their abusers and feel sick to their stomachs because theyre “turning into them”, you are not them and never will be. you are so much better than that.

emotional abuse victims who have to live every day suffering because nobody understands how messed up you are from what they said or did or made you do, you arent alone.

anyone who reads this, i care for you. please support all victims of abuse every single day because they deserve it just like they deserve the love and care those in the past have failed to provide them

[bottomgangwriting]

as someone who comes from this kinda home, this

[myreticentvale-deactivated20231]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[maddisonkennedy-deactivated2017]

Couldn’t scroll

[thy-devil-princess-deactivated2]

I don’t give a fuck if this doesn’t suit your ‘theme’ have a heart and reblog.

[skinandbonewishes]

Reblog

[ana-deaky]

Reblog

[memewhore]

[allisondraste]

Kind characters are not boring; in fact, due to the vast amount of people who hold that opinion, kind characters are as edgy as it gets. In this essay I will

[allisondraste]

You know what, I’m not done! I think that the whole concept that kind characters are uninteresting and vanilla is such a broad generalization and takes kindness to mean lawful or goody-two-shoes, when there are so many ways for someone to a character to be kind.

Kindness does not require passivity or social grace. Kind characters can stick to their guns and stand up for what they believe in. They can yell and scream and curse. Kind characters can be angry and disappointed when others do not show them the same compassion they show others. Kind characters can be tactless, oblivious. They may be rough around the edges (but have a heart of gold).

Kind characters often value justice and strive to stay connected to their humanity, even when the things they must do threaten to strip it away from them. Kind characters sometimes have to make difficult choices. Sometimes, kind characters even behave in a way that is unkind.

Kindness is complex, and it’s only a single solitairy characteristic that contributes to a character’s personality. While it can absolutely present as soft-spoken, honest, and open-hearted (my personal FAVE), it certainly doesn’t have to be.

TL;DR Kindness is not boring

[latinorobotico]

The boys are feeling some emotions right now, give them some time ok

(aka more lethan escape au brain rot, au credit to crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington)

[fandomnerd9602]

Tara Carpenter x Male!Reader who is usually a normal and laid-back person who would never hurt a fly, but after a Ghostface seriously hurts Tara, they go absolute apeshit and brutally kill every Ghostface in sight, which Tara finds unusually hot and makes Sam think "Okay, note to self, don't piss off Y/N"

Y/N shoots several headshots, taking out Quinn and Detective Bailey…

Ethan: we were just avenging our family

Y/N: so am I

Blam!! Y/N shoots Ethan in the head…

Tara: you are so hot right now babe

Y/N: gotta protect my girl

The two kiss…

Sam: note to self, never piss off Y/N. Side note, a fluffy kitten that turns into a lion on a dime.

[fullhalalalchemist]

URGENT: 🚨🚨EARN IT ACT IS BACK IN THE SENATE 🚨🚨 TUMBLR’S NSFW BAN HITTING THE ENTIRE INTERNET THIS SUMMER 2023

April 28, 2023

I’m so sorry for the long post but please please please pay attention and spread this

What is the EARN IT Act?

The EARN IT Act (s. 1207) has been roundly condemned by nearly every major LGBTQ+ advocacy and human rights organization in the country.

This is the third time the Senate has been trying to force this through, and I talked about it last year. It is a bill that claims "protects children and victims against CSAM" by creating an unelected and politically appointed national commission of law enforcement specialists to dictate "best practices" that websites all across the nation will be forced to follow. (Keep in mind, most websites in the world are created in the US, so this has global ramifications). These "best practices" would include killing encryption so that any law enforcement can scan and see every single message, dm, photo, cloud storage, data, and any website you have every so much as glanced at. Contrary to popular belief, no they actually can't already do that. These "best practices" also create new laws for "removing CSAM" online, leading to mass censorship of non-CSAM content like what happened to tumblr. Keep in mind that groups like NCOSE, an anti-LGBT hate group, will be allowed on this commission. If websites don't follow these best practices, they lose their Section 230 protections, leading to mass censorship either way.

Section 230 is foundational to modern online communications. It's the entire reason social media exists. It grants legal protection to users and websites, and says that websites aren't responsible for what users upload online unless it's criminal. Without Section 230, websites are at the mercy of whatever bullshit regulatory laws any and every US state passes. Imagine if Texas and Florida were allowed to say what you can and can't publish and access online. That is what will happen if EARN IT passes. (For context, Trump wanted to get rid of Section 230 because he knew it would lead to mass govt surveillance and censorship of minorities online.)

This is really not a drill. Anyone who makes or consume anything “adult” and LGBT online has to be prepared to fight Sen. Blumenthal’s EARN IT Act, brought back from the grave by a bipartisan consensus to destroy Section 230. If this bill passes, we’re going to see most, if not all, adult content and accounts removed from mainstream platforms. This will include anything related to LGBT content, including SFW fanfiction, for example. Youtube, Twitter, Reddit, Tiktok, Tumblr, all of them will be completely gutted of anything related to LGBT content, abortion healthcare, resources for victims of any type of abuse, etc. It is a right-wing fascists wet dream, which is why NCOSE is behind this bill and why another name for this bill is named in reference to NCOSE.

NCOSE used to be named Morality in Media, and has rebranded into an "anti-trafficking" organization. They are a hate group that has made millions off of being "against trafficking" while helping almost no victims and pushing for homophobic laws globally. They have successfully pushing the idea that any form of sexual expression, including talking about HEALTH, leads to sex trafficking. That's how SESTA passed. Their goal is to eliminate all sex, anything gay, and everything that goes against their idea of ‘God’ from the internet and hyper disney-fy and sanitize it. This is a highly coordinated attack on multiple fronts.

The EARN IT Act will lead to mass online censorship and surveillance. Platforms will be forced to scan their users’ communications and censor all sex-related content, including sex education, literally anything lgbt, transgender or non-binary education and support systems, aything related to abortion, and sex worker communication according to the ACLU. All this in the name of “protecting kids” and “fighting CSAM”, both of which the bill does nothing of the sort. In fact it makes fighting CSEM even harder.

EARN IT will open the way for politicians to define the category of “pornography" as they — or the lobbies that fund them — please. The same way that right-wing groups have successfully banned books about race and LGBT, are banning trans people from existing, all under the guise of protecting children from "grooming and exploitation", is how they will successfully censor the internet.

As long as state legislatures can tie in "fighting CSAM" to their bullshit laws, they can use EARN IT to censor and surveill whatever they want.

This is already a nightmare enough. But the bill also DESTROYS ENCRYPTION, you know, the thing protecting literally anyone or any govt entity from going into your private messages and emails and anything on your devices and spying on you.

This bill is going to finish what FOSTA/SESTA started. And that should terrify you.

Senator Blumenthal (Same guy who said ‘Facebook should ban finsta’) pushed this bill all of 2020, literally every activist (There were more than half a million signatures on this site opposing this act!) pushed hard to stop this bill. Now he brings it back, doesn’t show the text of the bill until hours later, and it’s WORSE. Instead of fixing literally anything in the bill that might actually protect kids online, Bluemnthal is hoping to fast track this and shove it through, hoping to get little media attention other than propaganda of “protecting kids” to support this shitty legislation that will harm kids. Blumental doesn't care about protecting anyone, and only wants his name in headlines.

It will make CSAM much much worse.

One of the many reasons this bill is so dangerous: It totally misunderstands how Section 230 works, and in doing so (as with FOSTA) it is likely to make the very real problem of CSAM worse, not better. Section 230 gives companies the flexibility to try different approaches to dealing with various content moderation challenges. It allows for greater and greater experimentation and adjustments as they learn what works – without fear of liability for any “failure.” Removing Section 230 protections does the opposite. It says if you do anything, you may face crippling legal liability. This actually makes companies less willing to do anything that involves trying to seek out, take down, and report CSAM because of the greatly increased liability that comes with admitting that there is CSAM on your platform to search for and deal with. This liability would allow anyone for any reason to sue any platform they want, suing smaller ones out of existence. Look at what is happening right now with book bans across the nation with far right groups. This is going to happen to the internet if this bill passes.

(Remember, the state department released a report in December 2021 recommending that the government crack down on “obscenity” as hard the Reagan Administration did. If this bill passes, it could easily go way beyond shit red states are currently trying. It is a goldmine for the fascist right that is currently in the middle of banning every book that talks about race and sexuality across the US.)

The reason these bills keep showing up is because there is this false lie spread by organizations like NCOSE that platforms do nothing about CSEM online. However, platforms are already liable for child sexual exploitation under federal law. Tech companies sent more than 45 million+ instances of CSAM to the DOJ in 2019 alone, most of which they declined to investigate. This shows that platforms are actually doing everything in their power already to stop CSEM by following already existing laws. The Earn It Act includes zero resources for proven investigation or prevention programs. If Senator Bluementhal actually cared about protecting youth, why wouldn’t he include anything to actually protect them in his shitty horrible bill? EARN IT is actually likely to make prosecuting child molesters more difficult since evidence collected this way likely violates the Fourth Amendment and would be inadmissible in court.

I don’t know why so many Senators are eager to cosponsor the “make child pornography worse” bill, but here we are.

HOW TO FIGHT BACK

EARN IT Act was introduced just two weeks ago and is already being fast-tracked. It will be marked up the week of May 1st and head to the Senate floor immediately after. If there is no loud and consistent opposition, it will be law by JUNE! Most bills never go to markup, so this means they are putting pressure to move this through. There are already 20 co-sponsors, a fifth of the entire Senate. This is an uphill battle and it is very much all hands on deck.

CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES.

This website takes you to your Senator / House members contact info. EMAIL, MESSAGE, SEND LETTERS, CALL CALL CALL CALL CALL. Calling is the BEST way to get a message through. Get your family and friends to send calls too. This is literally the end of free speech online.

[phone] connects you to the congressional hotline. Here is a call script if you don't know what to say. Call them every day. Even on the weekends, leaving voicemails are fine.

2. Sign these petitions!

Link to Petition 1

Link to Petition 2

3. SPREAD THE WORD ONLINE

If you have any social media, spread this online. One of the best ways we fought back against this last year was MASSIVE spread online. Tiktok, reddit, twitter, discord, whatever means you have at least mention it. We could see most social media die out by this fall if we don't fight back.

Here is a linktree with more information on this bill including a masterpost of articles, the links to petitions, and the call script.

DISCORD LINK IF YOU WANT TO HELP FIGHT IT

TLDR: The EARN IT Act will lead to online censorship of any and all adult & lgbt content across the entire internet, open the floodgates to mass surveillance the likes which we haven’t seen before, lead to much more CSEM being distributed online, and destroy encryption. Call 202-224-3121 to connect to your house and senate representative and tell them to VOTE NO on this bill that does not protect anyone and harms everyone.

[jessfink]

CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES.

[bottomgangwriting]

I love that you're writing for other readers as well 🥰

i want my stories to be as far-reaching as possible, so im happy that the different versions allow for more people to enjoy them :)

[bottomgangwriting]

just want to let you know that i love your writing!

thanks a ton! ive been a bit self-conscious about my writing style/quality, so i really appreciate you saying this!

[bottomgangwriting]

Don't Go Bracca'n My Heart | Chapter 1 (GN & No Touch)

Chapter 1

Touch Version

Pairing: Trilla Suduri (Second Sister) x gender neutral & touch-avoidant reader

Series summary: After barely surviving her encounter with Darth Vader, Trilla finds refuge on the shipbreaking planet of Bracca, where she encounters a scrapper that proves she still has some good in her.

Content warning: canon-typical violence, an absolute banger of a title.

Life for Trilla had become incredibly ironic.

She found herself hiding away on the shipbreaking planet of Bracca, the very same planet where she’d first encountered Cal Kestis. The Jedi who’d led her on the path towards almost getting killed by Darth Vader. She barely survived being struck by the Sith lord and snuck out of Fortress Inquisitorius during the chaos of Kestis’s escape. After commandeering a TIE fighter, she traveled to Bracca, begrudgingly taking inspiration from the young Jedi. She figured that she could hide out there in the same way he did, and as long as she didn’t use the Force, she wouldn’t be found.

It took a while for her to adjust to her new life. She was technically savvy, so the actual shipbreaking wasn’t that difficult to grasp. What gave her trouble was interacting with her fellow shipbreakers. She was used to her status as an Inquisitor being a powerful and intimidating tool that put her above others, but that wasn’t who she was anymore. Now she was just a scrapper suffering a crisis of conscience. On the bright side, her overall brooding demeanor made most of her colleagues give her a wide berth, so it’s not like she had to try very hard to discourage curiosity.

Most was the keyword there. You were the exception. A quiet but sweet young thing born and raised on Bracca. While the rest of the shipbreakers avoided Trilla, you didn’t. Despite your shy nature, you actively seeked her out, always making sure to ask how she was holding up whenever you crossed paths. It…perplexed her. Why would you care for her? You knew nothing about her, and she’d done nothing for you. It was odd, but welcome. No one had cared for her since she first became an Inquisitor, and after her last encounter with Cere, she realized that she missed the feeling.

While Trilla had become a pretty competent shipbreaker, you taught her all the intricacies that came with the craft. Since you’d been on Bracca all your life, you knew everything there was to know about mechanical and electrical engineering. It wasn’t long before you two became an unofficial duo. Your supervisors knew that if they requested one of you for a maneuver, the other would come along as well. You were a package deal now.

Trilla often thought back to the first moment the two of you interacted outside of work. Both of you had just gotten off of a shift, and while you were waiting for the train to arrive, you stood up and waved at you, clearly expecting her to follow you somewhere. She gave you a puzzled look but acquiesced, standing up alongside you.

“What are we doing?”

“I wanna show you something, come on.”

You led her through the shipbreaking yard, weaving between the derelict spacecraft and walkers that littered the landscape. As you walked, Trilla noticed that you kept looking back to check that she was still with you. It was a perfectly…you thing to do.

It wasn’t long before you reached your destination. Trilla looked out, seeing the entirety of the yard before her. Sure, it was stormy and dirty, but it was still a sight to behold. After taking it all in, she turned to face you and immediately forgot about what she’d just seen. You were looking out at the yard with a serene smile, and Trilla couldn’t look away. The contentment on your face put any vista in the galaxy to shame. Now you, you were a real sight to behold.

“I come out here when I need some perspective. You know, a way to ground myself if I’m freaking out about something.”

Trilla reluctantly tore her eyes away from you, looking back out at the yard. “And you find that here? On Bracca?”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” You turned to face her. “Ships from all eras of the galaxy are brought here to be dismantled. Whenever I’m working on one, it’s like I’m seeing a little bit of history up close. And whenever I come out here, I can see the whole picture, all of the galaxy’s history in one place. I don’t know, something about that is just…humbling.”

Your last word caught Trilla off-guard. She couldn’t imagine you ever needing to be humbled, what with how unassuming you were.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“People don’t come to Bracca because they want to, they come here because they’ve got nowhere else to go. I imagine that’s the case for you too, and I thought that if I showed you this spot, maybe you could come up here and let all the different ships remind you how big the galaxy is, that there’s gotta be a good place for you somewhere out there.” You looked down, and Trilla swore she could see some red creeping up your neck. “I’d hate for you to stay somewhere that doesn’t make you happy.”

Trilla was floored. She knew you cared about her, but she didn’t know you cared that much. The fact that you not only shared a private place with her, but also put in the thought as to why it could help her…it was almost overwhelming for her to think about. Thankfully it was raining, because the droplets masked the tears that rolled down her cheeks. Sure, you were her closest, albeit only, friend, but she wasn’t quite ready to let you see her being that vulnerable yet.

“Who says I’m not happy here?” Trilla had to remind herself not to add ‘with you’ to the end of that question.

You let out a chuckle and turned back to face her. “Listen, you’re a great shipbreaker, but I can tell you’re something more than that. Now, it’s not my business what that something is, and I won’t ask if you’re not comfortable. But whatever it is, I doubt this place will let you embrace it.”

Trilla thought over your words. Truthfully, you were right. The entire time she’d been here, she’d felt a pull towards the Force, almost like it was an old friend that she wasn’t allowed to speak to anymore. But she didn’t allow herself to answer its call, too afraid that it would catch the attention of her former colleagues in the Inquisition.

“Maybe I don’t want to embrace it.” Her eyes bore into yours, communicating greater turmoil than her words let on. “Maybe this is all I want.”

You gave her a small smile. “You would know better than me. I’m not gonna act like I know you better than you do. I just want you to be happy is all. Truly happy.”

It was Trilla’s turn to smile now. “I believe I can be that here. On Bracca.”

Back to the present

You and Trilla were on the train back to your quarters. Some time ago, you’d decided to be roommates in the same unit. You two already spent so much time together, so it only made sense to move in with each other. 

The train ride started out as it usually did, but partway through that changed. You were sitting next to each other as you usually did, resting in comfortable silence as you recovered from a hard day of shipbreaking. After a while, Trilla heard a thump, prompting her to look to her left. What her eyes were met with almost made her heart stop.

You had fallen asleep next to her, your head tilted back and resting against the wall behind you and your mouth slightly open. The sight was absolutely…adorable. You looked so at peace, and Trilla was touched that she made you feel safe enough to fall asleep so close to her. If it was anyone else, she would’ve made an abrasive comment, but since it was you, she took no such action. Leaned back as well and took in the moment, letting out a deep, contented breath. A few of your fellow shipbreakers were almost gawking at the sight, none of them having previously thought Trilla to be capable of looking so soft. A pointed glare from the former Inquisitor was enough to make them avert their gaze, leaving her to resume her peace. She didn’t want this to end and was almost angry with the train for having the audacity to stop, but she reluctantly snapped in front of your face.

“Hey, we’re here.” Her voice was soft, devoid of the characteristic finality that it usually carried. You stirred, sitting up and wiping the sleep from your eyes. Trilla instantly missed the serenity of the situation, but she managed to keep herself from showing that on her face.

“Sorry I fell asleep…”

“No no no, it’s quite alright.” Trilla was quick to respond, wanting to make it absolutely clear that she wasn’t bothered by it. “I’m…happy you got some rest.”

You smiled, happy to hear Trilla being so supportive. It’s not that you disliked how stoic she usually was, not at all. But this seemed to be a breakthrough, a new side of her that you hadn’t seen yet. It was progress; progress towards proving to her that you were truly on her side.

The two of you stood up and made your way out of the train compartment, setting off in the direction of your unit. No words were exchanged, what with you still waking up and Trilla replaying recent events in her mind over and over again. She was still reeling, in a good way, from what had happened on the train, not quite able to believe that someone could feel that safe around her. So much time spent as an Inquisitor made her believe that she couldn’t be anything other than intimidating, yet here you were, sharing your safe space with her and falling asleep next to her. You were the absolute antithesis to everything the Empire had made her believe about herself. You were proof that they were wrong about her. Proof that she was still good.

The door to your unit slid open, and you padded your way over to your bed, flopping down onto it and getting comfortable. Trilla let out a light chuckle and walked over.

“Poncho, remember? It’s soaked.”

You let out a groan and fumbled your way out of the garment, unceremoniously tossing it to the floor. Laughing a little more, Trilla tossed you a blanket, unable to stop the smile that took over her face when you curled up into a little ball underneath it.

She took off her own poncho and settled into her bed. From her comfortable position, she watched you as you slept, her gaze following your chest as it rose and fell with each breath you took. After a while, her eyes became heavy and she succumbed to slumber, her last thoughts of the day centered on you.

[bottomgangwriting]

What's the Opposite of Getting Ghosted? | Chapter 2 (GN & No Touch)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Non-Asexual/Asexual/Touch Versions

Pairing: Ghostface Tara Carpenter x gender neutral & touch-avoidant reader

Summary: Love and care are both ideas completely foreign to the reader because of how they were raised, and one particularly murderous Tara Carpenter seeks to remedy this tragedy. Heavily inspired by rollingsins’ “all hers” series.

Content Warning: Murder, verbally and emotionally abusive parents (again, pulled from my own real life experiences to ensure their accuracy).

The drive to Tara’s apartment was a quiet one. No words were exchanged. The only interactions between you and her were knowing glances when she saw you were getting lost in thought. She knew that despite your acceptance of her actions, you were probably still in shock from the night’s events. She also knew that her gaze had always calmed you down, so she gave you those looks to ground you. The effects were immediate, and they warmed her heart to see. Your shoulders lowered, your jaw loosened, and your eyes softened. Seeing the tangible effect she had on you fueled both the loving fire that burned in her chest for you and her addiction to affecting you. She felt like she could survive without food and water as long as she could keep being with you, keep having you.

It wasn’t long before she pulled up to her apartment, giving you another look before stepping out of the car. She waited for you to get out, then eagerly led you into the building. Her mind raced at all the things she wanted to do with you, but she tempered herself. As much as she would love to dive right in with you, she knew that you weren’t ready for that kind of intensity. She knew that you had been scared away from intimacy and needed a softer approach at first, and she would never even dream of forcing you to do anything. So she instead used her eagerness to think of gentler ways to love you, tucking the more intense thoughts away for later on when you were ready.

She got her key out and barely managed to get it in the lock, her hands shaking with excitement. The sound of the lock tumbling only added to her fervor, and the mere moment it took to unlock felt like an eternity for her. But mercifully, that moment finally ended, and she immediately rushed you inside. As soon as you’d crossed the threshold, she closed the door behind you and fastened its many locks. Despite how tempted she was to jump into things, she wanted to do this right. She wasn’t about to risk pushing you away by rushing you.

Instead, she led you into the living room. She thought about taking you into her bedroom, but she didn’t want to insinuate anything sexual. Even if her intentions were purely romantic, you had no way of knowing that. The living room seemed like a much less intense setting to ease you into this. She stopped you by the couch, looking into your eyes before beckoning you to stand a little closer.

“Can we sit next to each other? We won’t touch, I just wanna be near you.”

You thought over her words for a moment. Truthfully, you were scared, even if it was just sitting next to her. What if you did something wrong? What if Tara realized that you were too broken? That you were irreparable? But those fears paled in comparison to how badly you wanted to be close to her. You knew that if you were going to have any shot at that, you were going to have to take the leap. So you took a deep breath, counted for a few moments, and let it out.

“Please…”

Tara’s eyes lit up, exhilarated by your answer. She sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to her in invitation. Once you were settled, she draped a blanket over both your legs, again leaving just enough space in between your bodies to respect your boundaries. Something about being under the same blanket without actually touching felt so right. It was a way to be close while still being comfortable.

It was…perfect.

You’d never felt this safe before, never felt cared for like this. It was overwhelming in the best possible way. All you could focus on was Tara and what it felt like to be near her, and you loved that feeling. It was better than you could have imagined, and you didn’t even realize that tears of joy had started to spill from your eyes, still too caught up in how perfect this felt. You were with the woman of your dreams, a woman who seemed willing to do just about anything for you.

Tara had noticed your reaction and was overjoyed by it. She saw you relax, heard your breathing even out within seconds of her putting the blanket over you. What she didn’t expect was to see tears rolling down your face, and she panicked when she saw it, terrified that she had gone too far in some way.

“Baby what’s wrong? Is this too much?”

You looked at her with red eyes and a loopy smile on your face.

“No, this is just…this is better than I ever thought anything could be…”

Tara’s heart swelled. She’d made you cry out of joy? It seemed too good to be true, but the evidence was right there in front of her. There you were, in her apartment, tucked away on her couch, with tears of joy rolling down your face.

“Oh baby, it’s gonna get even better. I promise.”

The two of you stayed like that for a long time. You let out emotions that you never thought you’d get to experience, let alone with Tara. She whispered the sweetest things to you, somehow knowing exactly what you needed to hear. You didn’t say anything, too caught up in the bliss of the moment. Tara could see this, and didn’t expect you to do any different. Hell, she didn’t want you to do any different. She wanted you to do exactly what you were doing: receiving her love and her care.

Eventually, she realized that you’d fallen asleep, even though you were sitting upright. She’d almost forgotten about what had happened earlier in the night, about killing your parents. It made sense that you were probably tuckered out by all that, and she was happy that you felt safe enough with her to fall asleep in her presence. She spent a long time basking in that joy, completely and utterly content. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep as well, the both of you exactly where you wanted to be in the world.

Several hours later

Tara woke up before you did, or rather was woken up. Feeling movement under the blanket, she looked over at you and saw that you were shaking and mumbling in your sleep. She straightened up and grabbed a pillow, using it to gently jostle your leg without actually touching you.

“Baby? It’s just a dream, you’re alright. You’re safe, okay?”

She didn’t mean for her words to come out so frantic, but she couldn’t help it. Seeing you in distress did something to her; she just couldn’t bear the sight. Luckily, it seemed her words had broken through the barrier of sleep, as your mumbles stopped and your eyes groggily opened. You looked at her for a moment, an unsure expression on your face. One of your hands came to rest on the pillow she’d used to wake you, earning a confused expression from the girl. You were just trembling only a minute ago, why were you so calm now?

“Just making sure you’re real.”

She was even more confused now. “Of course I’m real, why would you think I’m not?”

Embarrassed, you averted your eyes and retracted your hand. “I…had a nightmare that you weren’t and it…” You looked back up at her, your eyes wide and brimming with tears. “It was so scary without you, Tara.”

Tara’s heart practically melted at your words. She always knew you liked how protective of you she was, but she had no idea your entire sense of comfort relied on her. It was a revelation that came with both extreme happiness and sadness. She was ecstatic that she had you wrapped around her little finger, metaphorically speaking, but she was also heartbroken that she couldn’t protect you from your own subconscious.

“Well you don’t have to worry about that, okay?” Her grip on the pillow tightened a little. “I’m with you and I’ll be with you. Always.”

You gulped and nodded, liking the sound of that quite a bit.

“Promise?”

Tara smiled. “Promise.”

The two of you stayed like that for a while. You hadn’t ever experienced someone being so soft with you, and sure, you were a little nervous because of that, but you weren’t fully scared. No, not when it was Tara. You trusted her in a way that you never could with anyone else, and that was still true despite recent events.

As that thought passed through your head, you were reminded of what had led you to this moment. It was just a lot to take in. Even though they were dysfunctional at best and you wouldn’t miss them, your parents had been a huge part of your life. It was going to be a major adjustment going forward without them, but Tara was going to be there to guide you through it. A smile played across your face, but it quickly fell when you started wondering if you had incorrectly justified her murderous actions. Were you morally vacuous because of how quickly you had accepted what she did?

Tara could tell you were thinking about something, and she had an idea of what it was.

“Baby, look at me.”

You did as you were told, returning your gaze to her face.

“They had to go. Remember what I said? They were gonna keep hurting you as long as they were alive, I didn’t have a choice, I had to kill them.” Her eyes got darker, and her grip on the pillow got even tighter. “No one can hurt you, okay? No. One.”

For a moment you felt intimidated by her change in demeanor, but almost like it was just a random power surge in a lamp, she was back to her softer self, and her grip loosened. An idea came to her, and she let go of the pillow. Reaching up to her collar, she took off her jacket and handed it to you.

“Want to hold this? Maybe that way you’ll be able to feel that I’m still here while you’re asleep?”

You found yourself nodding eagerly, and Tara smiled.

“Okay then.”

The two of you got into your previous positions, this time with you holding onto Tara’s jacket like your life depended on it. Hell, if anyone asked you, you would say that it did. You fell asleep even quicker this time, your breathing settling into a steady rhythm as you drifted off into slumber. Tara reached to grab an extra blanket and draped it over the both of you. She smiled as she thought about the life that awaited you two, and eventually drifted off to sleep herself.

Safe to say, you didn’t have any more nightmares that night.

[bottomgangwriting]

What's the Opposite of Getting Ghosted? | Chapter 1 (GN & No Touch)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Touch Version

Pairing: Ghostface Tara Carpenter x gender neutral & touch-avoidant reader

Summary: Love and care are both ideas completely foreign to the reader because of how they were raised, and one particularly murderous Tara Carpenter seeks to remedy this tragedy. Heavily inspired by rollingsins’ “all hers” series.

Content Warning: Murder, verbally and emotionally abusive parents (again, pulled from my own real life experiences to ensure their accuracy).

You wanted sanctuary more than anything.

For as long as you could remember, life had taught you to never open up about anything. Odds were, letting other people in would just hurt more than if you’d just kept it all inside. It worked, or at least it used to. At this point, you had been keeping everything inside for most of your life, and you couldn’t do it anymore. Minds have a finite amount of storage, and you were rapidly approaching your limit. You’d tried all the methods of unburdening you could without involving anyone else. Journaling, talking to yourself, biting a towel and screaming. They were only temporary ways to alleviate your pain, not the permanent solution you needed.

That’s what landed you in the predicament you’d been in for the last year or so. Too many thoughts screaming through your head and a crippling fear of asking for help with them. Despite this fear, deep down you desperately wanted to ask someone for that help. To let someone else take control of you for once. Hell, maybe forever. As long as you didn’t have to be alone with these thoughts anymore.

It was a pipe dream as far as you were concerned. At this point you were an adult with no experience with that kind of intimacy. Anything beyond the purely platonic was completely foreign to you. You were pretty sure you were a lost cause at this point anyway, just a piece of damaged hardware that wasn’t worth taking into the shop to fix. Still, it didn’t stop you from hoping that one day some hero would swoop in and save you.

Much to your disbelief, it seemed like those hopes might have actually been answered, at least in part. You’d met someone that might actually be that hero. Tara. You hadn’t told her anything about your struggles yet of course, but her mere presence eased your mind more than anyone else’s ever had. You couldn’t explain why, but you felt protected when you were with her. You felt like things might actually work out, even if you didn’t know how yet.

It was a nice dynamic. Sure, she flustered you a lot, but it was never ill-intentioned. Even though you never said anything about it to her, she seemed to have figured out that you weren’t exactly experienced with that kind of talk. Had it been from anyone else, you would have had panic attacks, but because it was from her, you didn’t. It just felt…right.

Despite Tara’s intrinsic ability to make you feel safe, you still felt hopeless. It wasn’t likely at all that you would ever muster up the courage to open up to her, so you’d just have to settle for her presence. It was almost cruel that you’d come across the one person to make you feel this way while being unable to let her in. It definitely didn’t help that you’d developed a massive crush on her, only adding to the list of reasons keeping you from opening up. She likely just made those comments for fun and didn’t actually feel the same way, so you’d probably lose her if you said anything. You couldn’t afford a loss like that. You didn’t know how many more hits you could take, and losing Tara could very well be the thing that finally makes you give up.

It didn’t really matter though; You were pretty sure that your life was on a strict timer anyways. See, your city had been plagued by another wave of Ghostface murders, and the majority of the victims were people you knew. Family members, teachers, coworkers, bosses, you name it. Sure, you didn't exactly like any of them, but still, it stood to reason that you would join them sooner or later.

For better or worse, your life had turned you into an actor of sorts. Anyone who met you would think you were simply a reserved, shy person who’d rather not get into details about your personal life. Nothing terribly out of the ordinary there, just an introvert it seemed. Your own family didn’t want to deal with your issues, so why should anyone else? You thought it would be…impolite to saddle them with all that. So you acted. No one knew of the turmoil that raged under the surface, of the life lessons that held you hostage every second of the day. Something similar was true now. On the outside, you were stoic in the face of likely death, seemingly unafraid that you were a potential target of a very effective killer. But on the inside? At first, you were weeping, heartbroken that your life was probably going to get cut short right after you’d met the hero you’d been waiting for. But after a while, you became content with the fact that you had at least met her and gotten to have her in your life for even a little bit of time. You could live with that, or rather you could die with it. So you became jaded to the possibility of death at the hands of a serial killer. As far as you were concerned, such is life. Your act had become your truth.

Your thoughts were centered on this as you walked up to the door of your parents’ place. You didn’t live with them anymore, but they still asked you to visit periodically. Even though you hated them in a way that was most definitely mutual, you felt an obligation to indulge them. You knew the night was just going to end with them screaming at you while you stayed silent, just like the rest. But still, you felt the need to accept their invitations. It would probably be healthier to cut them out of your life, and now you could, seeing as you were an adult, but something always drew you back to them. Maybe it was the familiarity. You’d heard that the abused often returned to their abusers because they either don’t have or don’t know that there’s anywhere else to go.

Your hand rested on the doorknob for a moment as you prepared yourself, letting out a long sigh before turning it. You walked in and were immediately swarmed by your parents, then the night began. It was by the book: fairly normal conversation at first, which quickly devolved over dinner. It wasn’t long before they had started screaming again, pacing back and forth as they said their pieces. You just sat in your chair, your eyes wide and tears hiding in their ducts, threatening to spill out at any second. Your lip was quivering, and for once your legs weren’t bouncing like they were trying to escape from your hips.

“Got anything to say about that?”

Your parents always did this. Threw an absurd amount of information at you and then expected you to have a response already thought out at that exact moment. You never did, because how could you? How could anyone know what to say after hearing these things? You just looked down and took a deep breath.

“I…I need to step out for a second.”

Your parents scoffed, but gestured for you to leave the room. You quickly stood up, making a beeline for the bathroom. Your footfalls were quiet, a habit that had been useful when you were young. Your parents would get mad at you if they heard you walking around at night, even if it was just to go to the bathroom. So again, you adapted. They couldn’t get mad at you for walking around if you made no noise when you did. Now though, it was more of a nuisance than a benefit. More often than not, you accidentally surprised people when you walked by because they didn’t hear you coming. You didn’t mean to scare anyone, it was just a defense mechanism that you hadn’t quite shaken off yet.

You opened the bathroom door and stepped inside, closing and locking it behind you. After hearing the reassuring click that had put you at ease so many times throughout your childhood, you sank down against the wood and closed your eyes. You gave yourself a few minutes to just be, needing to decompress after everything that had just happened.

Outside your parents’ home

A determined set of eyes hovered by a window, looking in at the scene unfolding. They saw everything and heard it too. The screaming, the pacing, the wild and angry gestures. But most of Tara’s focus wasn’t on the parents. No, it was on you. She watched how you seemed to shrink into your chair and saw how wide and red your eyes were. It broke her heart seeing you like this again. Each time she’d watched you, she’d suffered alongside you as you got hurt, over and over and over again. She couldn’t bear to see it happen anymore, so she decided that tonight was the night. Tonight she was going to make her play.

Back in the bathroom

You looked up in the mirror after splashing some water in your face, seeing that your eyes were still red. A heavy sigh left your lips. You knew you couldn’t stay in here forever. Eventually your parents would start banging on the door and shouting, so you straightened your back, rolled your shoulders, and left the bathroom.

Surprisingly, you didn’t hear your parents talking about you as you made your way back to the living room like they usually did. Maybe they had calmed down? You quickly dismissed that possibility though. It was a nice thought, but an unrealistic one. Odds were they were simply fuming silently.

You rounded the corner and were met with something grotesque. Your parents’ corpses were slumped over in their seats, blood seeping through multiple stab wounds that littered their bodies. Standing in the middle of the room was the person that you had been half-expecting to show up for a while now: Ghostface. They were wiping the blood off of their bowie knife with their sleeve, the droplets dripping onto the floor and pooling below. You watched as they cleaned the weapon, unable to move from where you stood. Once they seemed to be satisfied with the state of their weapon, they looked up and spotted you, their gaze locking onto yours. The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds, neither one of you making a move until you suddenly dropped to your knees.

Ghostface’s head tilted at the sight, clearly confused by your reaction. You, on the other hand, were very much aware of what you were feeling, or rather what you weren’t. Indifference resided in your mind. Life had beaten you down to the point where you were unsurprised and unfazed by the idea of it ending early. If you were being completely honest, you kind of liked the idea.

“Just do what you’re gonna do…please.”

On the other side of the room, Tara was both heartbroken and furious. She wasn’t mad at you. No, never at you. She was mad at your family for what they had done to you to make you so ready to die. It was in that moment that she vowed to rebuild you, to show you every day that you had something to live for in her.

She rushed to where you knelt and got down on her knees, waving her hand in front of your face to get your attention.

“Hey hey hey! Oh you poor thing, no. I’m not gonna do anything to you, not anything bad anyways.”

You slowly looked up at your potential killer, confused by their words. They reached a hand up and removed their mask, and the person that was underneath stunned you. Tara stared back at you, a smile on her face that seemed completely inappropriate for the situation. Shock and confusion spread through your mind, unable to comprehend the fact that your crush had just murdered your parents. That confusion fought with the sense of comfort that Tara usually brought you, and for a few moments it was an even fight. But then the balance started to tilt in the favor of your comfort, much to your own horror. You couldn’t help but feel safe in her presence, and you started to do mental gymnastics to find a way to justify her actions. Tara could see the tumult in your eyes and was quick to explain.

“They hurt you sweetie, and they were gonna keep hurting you. I couldn’t let that happen anymore, okay? You need me to protect you, can’t you see that? That you’re mine to protect?”

Your eyes widened, your mind racing at her rationale. You wanted to reject her and her actions, but you couldn’t find the strength within yourself to do so. Tara, your crush and only safe haven, wanted to protect you. Sure, she was willing to kill for you, but that was only to protect you. Part of you criticized the rest of you for how desperate for comfort you were, but how could you refuse her? It’s not like you were going to miss your parents. Also, did this mean she had feelings for you?

You refocused on her, taking in the details of her face as you resigned yourself to your decision.

“I think I can…” Your voice was small but still loud enough for Tara to hear. And lord did she hear it. A huge, almost manic smile broke out on her face as clasped her hands together, absolutely beaming at you. You took a few moments to think, then worked up the courage to ask the clarifying question that had been on your mind for a long time.

“Does this mean that…that you…that you l-like…me?”

Tara stared at you with a confused look in her eyes. For a moment, you panicked, terrified that you had just overstepped a boundary with your crush and a killer, but she was quick to disabuse you of that notion.

“Oh baby, it means I love you! Isn’t that obvious?”

You let out a sigh of relief, thankful that you hadn’t just ruined everything. “Sorry, I’m just not used to the idea of someone…caring for me, like at all but especially like that. I’ve honestly got no idea how it works.” You averted your gaze, feeling more than a little pathetic, but Tara was having none of it. She got your attention again, her manic smile replaced with a more tame one.

“Well I’ll teach you, doesn’t that sound good?”

Your head was nodding before you had even made a conscious decision to do so, and Tara’s smile widened. She’d figured that you didn’t have any experience with romance, and while on one hand she was heartbroken that you had been alone for so long, on the other she was ecstatic. She loved the fact that she would be the only person to ever have you like that, feeling incredibly possessive over you and your love.

“Good, but I have to do something before we can start, okay?” She looked back towards your parents’ corpses. “I’ve gotta clean all this up, but after that? It’s just you and me.”

There was a pause.

“Can I help?”

Tara beamed at you, ecstatic that you didn’t want to distance yourself from this part of her. “I’d love that, sweetie.”

And with that, the two of you set about disposing of your parents in some sort of twisted bonding exercise. It wasn’t long before their bodies were gone and the blood cleaned from the room, and no one would be any the wiser that a double murder had happened here. Well, if you weren’t committed before, you had to be now. You were an accomplice at this point.

It was almost as if Tara was reading your thoughts. “No one will know. No one but us.”

You sighed, still processing the events of the night. “So what now?” You looked over at Tara and saw that she had a wide smile playing across her face. She stood close to you but was careful to give you a few inches of space, aware of your feelings about physical touch.

“Now I take you home with me and start teaching you what love feels like.”

[bottomgangwriting]

Don't Go Bracca'n My Heart

After barely surviving her encounter with Darth Vader, Trilla finds refuge on the shipbreaking planet of Bracca, where she encounters a scrapper that proves she still has some good in her.

Chapter 1, Chapter 1 (No Touch) ...