theyâre everything
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@bounty-hunter-wolfe
theyâre everything
i love when human characters fight in ways that are so so not human
We watched the new spiderverse movie, Void absolutely loved it and demanded we watch it again directly after we finished it đ€âđ» I think that was def a seal of approval
Thanks @pikapeppa (x)
I can never reblog that one post that's like "what fictional food did you desperately want to eat as a child " bc I had this dinosaur book as a kid and in the book there was this illustration of a T. Rex eviscerating a Triceratops and feasting on its remains and it looked like it was having such a good time with the triceratops carcass that I would have traded anything to be that T. Rex. And I can't just add that to a random stranger's post
I can never reblog that one post that's like "what fictional food did you desperately want to eat as a child " bc I had this dinosaur book as a kid and in the book there was this illustration of a T. Rex eviscerating a Triceratops and feasting on its remains and it looked like it was having such a good time with the triceratops carcass that I would have traded anything to be that T. Rex. And I can't just add that to a random stranger's post
I see how it is you can all post about cannibalism and blood drinking and it's cool it's normal it's ENCOURAGED even but I say I wanted to indulge in the absolute carnage of felling a 26,000 lb horned beast with my hands and then feasting upon the spoils of my victory as a child and suddenly IM the weird one
(can't) change the past
I keep catching Void fucjing up our YouTube recommendations đ„Ž I donât understand why this fucking alien LOVES watching mr beast videos đ Iâm gonna make him his own profile so it doesnât fuck up my recommended
putrid air
Sometimes I hear Voids commentary on things that are happening around us, and I just wanna give yâall a lil taste of some of the shit this fuckin alien says:
-*watching a shopping cart roll across the parking lot and smack into a vehicle* dumb dumb idiot⊠push another one
-*watching Bear and Buggy chase a toy across the floor* what is that. The toy? The beasts. What are they called again. You fucking- you donât know? Theyâre like our favorite thing!
-*a Flaudorian is haggling for a price at Keeps in front of us and doing it poorly, Keeps is not enjoying the conversation and neither are we* we hate this, should we shoot him? NO we cannot shoot him what the fuck dude âŠitâd be funny.
Most times when I hear him mumble to himself but I enjoy hearing a lil tidbit now and then
This fuckin alien bullshit , do you know how hard it is to figure out who is gonna be chill about being a human and who isnât. thatâs why I keep the helmet on, some of yâall donât know how to ACT
no fucking way
I thought crocs were so dumb, they simply tried to eat anything that caught their eye. Now they're learning?
What's next?!?
Nah Crocodilians (the group containing all 23 extant species of crocodile, aligator, caiman etc) are actually really smart, they're just a PAIN IN THE ASS to study in the wild because they're stealthy, don't eat or move that often relative to mammals, and are largely nocturnal. That said, we've found evidence of:
Coordinated Group Hunting across many species of crocodilian- AKA, hunting like a pack of wolves.
Advanced Parental Care- we knew for a long time that American alligators and Gharials built nests and mothers kept their young close, but GPS tracking has shown that the father(s) also typically stuck around and brought mom kills, but the young stay inside the territory of their parents for 3-5 years, until they reach sexual maturity.
Nile crocodiles dig enormous and surprisingly complex burrows up to 40 feet deep that they share with other crocodiles- parents and children, but also adult siblings and Unrelated "Friends"- crocs that are frequently seen close together outside as well, but do not appear to be mates. many of these burrows are decades, if not centuries old, are actively maintained, and passed down through generations.
Amazon Caiman (a type of alligator) recognize individual humans (possibly by voice), and alter their behavior around them based on past interactions. Some of them become quite playful with humans they've had positive interactions with in the past, and others hold "grudges" against specific humans for decades.
All Crocodilians engage in all major types of play behavior- Locomotor play (engaging in a behavior because it brings positive stimulation), playing with toys (Sticks, leaves, carcass, and in one paper, a floating squeaky toy that had gotten into the Bayou) and social play (Playing with other individuals). Several species, but notable Caiman and Alligators also Play with animals outside their species- young caiman have been observed playing with Amazon Giant River Otters, and Alligators playing with sharks and dolphings off the US Gulf coast. Play behavior is associated with a high degree of intelligence in animals.
Male Saltwater crocodiles in Australia employ a variety of complex mating strategies, including offering courtship gifts (tailored to the preferences of individual females), sucking up to larger males to get better introductions to females (A Long-Term strategy that pays dividends- while the beta males don't typically mate the first two or three years they try it, the ones that stick with the strategy mate with more females as they age), and doing "Off years" where they pass on the fighting and displaying and just nap and get fat instead- another strategy that pays off long-term: Big Males that engage in Off-Years mated more in On years, and lived longer overall, for a larger lifetime genetic impact.
Many zoos have had success in training captive crocodilians to do "tricks"- mostly pose behaviors that let keepers examine, vaccinate or medically treat the animal with minimal stress on all sides. But they're also apparently good at "Sit up" and "Roll over".
And as far as "Trying to eat anything that caught their eye"- pretty much all carnivores, but especially crocodilians, make pretty complex calculations on whether or not to pursue something as prey based on, but not limited to: How hungry they are, what the future prospects for food are based on the weather/season/behavior of their prey/how many other carnivores are competing with them, the likelihood of injury (either in the process of hunting, or from the prey itself), and whether the effort expended is going to be worth the reward (based on projected strategies, how full eating something like that made them last time, and if they're going to suffer weird consequences for it).
,
Source Source Source Source Source Source
We apologize for our absence. We have had a very difficult time recently and have only now reached the safety of Home. Some terrifying things happened to us and we have undergone change that we are not used to. My human is scared but will not say it. We were betrayed by someone who we trusted and it cost us gravely. Thankfully none of the Gatlians or Gene or our other human has been harmed, we are the only ones.
We had gotten a tip from the mayor that our mark was in a specific area and we were foolish enough to believe them. It was a trap, a set up. We were ambushed. Wolfe had set up a fail safe to transport the Gatlians home safely, including knifey. But we did not transport ourself. We were sedated, even if we had wanted to transport ourself away it was too late.
We are still processing. That is what the Doctor Wong says, that we are still processing. My human was harmed. WE were harmed. Our arm was severed off by that vile fucking thing. We were hurt and scared, and we fought with everything we had. My human was exhausted, fighting tooth and nail to keep the enemies away, we helped them with everything we could muster. Everything went black
When we woke again we were in the back of a ship, lying on the floor. Our arm had a wound cap (a circular cup to surround and keep the wounded tissue alive and healthy while awaiting treatment, apparently very expensive and hard to come by)
Despite the pain relief the cap released, my human was still hurting. He was quiet, and his thoughts were still. Usually we can hear him thinking to himself, his mind racing a mile a minute. But he was silent. We tried to comfort him, but we donât think we were successful. The pounding of his heart drowned out the noises from the outside, tunneling inwards to us. We could feel the emotions swelling in him, dark and murky. It rose above our ankles, above our knees and hips. It was going to submerge us, both of us.
Wolfe. How can we help?
He jolted, the murky fluid stopping itâs ascent. For the first time, Wolfe turned and saw us. He saw me.
We locked eyes as the emotions drain away. We are afraid to move towards him first, worried he might flee as heâs done before. Itâs silent, only the steady heartbeat of our body. In the distance, miles away we hear the hum of the transport ship we lay prone in. He doesnât speak, just stares. The lull of the engine is becoming louder, pulling Wolfe back towards the outside. He blinks at us, and we blink back. We have to say something, before he rejoins the outside world again. Before he leaves us in here and we are nothing more than a whisper.
We will be alright.
We do not wish to write any more right now. We are exhausted
the reason i love the comparison between angels and machines (robots, transmission towers, trains, computers, etc.) is that it gets to the heart of what angels essentially are: divine machines. they're mechanisms through with the divine is able to act, created with a purpose and "happy" to fulfil it simply because they were made to do so. they have more in common with a machine programmed to run on algorithms and make calculations based on input commands than they do with humanity, even if they bear a human visage - an attempt by the divine to help bridge the gap. angels do not need to be eldritch monstrosities to be terrifying, because they are already alien to us simply by being angels. for an angel to choose to deviate from their purpose and achieve free will is to fall because in order to have free will they can no longer be an angel, because an angel is defined by its purpose. much like the stories we tell of robots that gain sentence, only to discover that they can never truly be human, but neither can they go back to being a machine, angels who fall become something else entirely, purposeless and adrift and alone. it is a tragic sacrifice.
Irrational Attachment
I directed the delivery guy to put the last high-tech crate next to the others in our very full cargo bay, and I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. This was a big order. I noted the final count with a good old-fashioned Earth pencil.
The delivery guy, a fellow human much beefier than I was, smirked at the pencil and clipboard. âReally living in the space age, there,â he said. âDonât you guys have tablets and scanners?â
âOh sure,â I replied. âBut one has a cracked screen and the otherâs got a faulty battery. You know how it is.â
His response was eclipsed by the arrival of the sparkly purple conglomeration of limbs that was my coworker Zhee. I was used to bug aliens by now, but I was amused to see the brawny human edge back a step.
Zhee didnât notice. âWhat is âpack bondingâ?â he demanded, clicking to a stop and looking at the two of us expectantly. âThey were telling jokes that made little sense.â He waved a pincher arm over his shoulder. âThen it occurred to me that I have a pair of qualified humans here I can ask. Why do people joke about humans caring too much?â
The delivery guy straightened up, all bluster. âOh, itâs a bunch of radiator wash, really. Lots of species are social. Really, we wouldnât all have space ships out here if everybody couldnât cooperate!â
âWell, sure,â I said. âBut thereâs a difference between cooperating and getting attached. Didnât you have a teddy bear as a kid?â
âYeah, as a kid,â he scoffed. âWeâre talking about grownups here.â
âGrownups do it too,â I told him, barreling on as he started to object. âWe give names and personalities to ships and cars and space probes. We put googly eyes on machinery, and keep pet rocks. We build people out of snow, lending them our own clothes, and weâre sad when they melt away. We have ancient history of granting a bear military rank, and recent history of doing the same to a cleaning droid. We care about things.â
He was still shaking his head and looking stubborn, so I pulled the pencil from my pocket. I held it in front of his face with an intense stare.
âI can tell you that this pencilâs name is Steven,â I said. âThen I can do thisââ I snapped it in half. ââAnd I can watch a little bit of you die inside.â
His expression was that of a person shaken to his core. âWhat the fâ Why would you do that??â
I looked down at the broken pencil. âYou canât tell me humans donât care.â
Zhee clicked a pincher. âBut itâs just a pencil.â
âIt was,â I said. âNow itâs Steven.â I pulled a roll of tape from a different pocket. âAnd now I have to nurse him back to health and apologize.â
~~~
The ongoing backstory of the main character in this book. No pencils were (permanently) harmed in the creation of todayâs story.Â