Deryn swallowed, then pointed at the screen. "He makes me feel like that. Like flying."
ICONIC FOR A REASON!!!!!
1. It's too scary to say that she loves him. Far too scary. So instead we get this side-stepping of the issue, where she says it's like flying.
2. HOWEVER THIS IS SO MUCH MORE POTENT THAN A REGULAR "I love him" !!!! We spent this whole series setting up just how much Deryn loves flying. How she'd do anything for it. How it's the one thing in this life that makes her feel properly like herself. How much she's willing to sacrifice just to feel the wind in her hair and to see the world from above. Putting Alek on par with flying? He makes her happy?? He makes her feel free?? Like the best version of herself?? I'm going to SCREAM. It's so lovely. God.
[ID: a bluesky post from Justine Larbalestier that says "The adaptation of the Leviathan trilogy by @[email protected] lands on Netflix in Early July. I've seen the first episode and it was incredible. Set your reminder!" And a picture of the anime promo image featuring Sharp and Alek looking at each other in front of a map of Europe.]
"Aye," Deryn said, giving Alek a hard look. "Though I was meaning to keep that a secret."
"Secret," Bovril repeated, then made a chuckling noise.
"Don't worry," Alek said. "Lilit and I have no secrets from each other."
Deryn stared at the boy, hoping this wasn't true. He couldn't have told this girl who his parents were, could he?
...
"Alek," said Lilit softly. "You can't go telling this boy our secrets. Not until he's met Nene, at least."
Alek waved her protests away. "You can trust Dylan. He's known for ages who my father was, and he never betrayed me to his officers."
Deryn's jaw dropped. Alek had already told this anarchist lassie about his parents? But he'd been in Istanbul only three barking days!
Big quote, lots of yapping, you know the drill.
Deryn's feeling of betrayal feels more legitimate when you remember that their whole relationship is built on secrets-- sharing them with each other, and keeping them from everyone else. The last time Deryn saw Alek, she had just told him her second biggest secret (being vulnerable about how her dad died) and it was so intense that she thought for a minute he had feelings for her. When Alek told her about his parents, it was an equally vulnerable moment between the two of them (and so intense that she caught feelings).
The vulnerability is what's important, not the information of the secret itself. But she's a teenager and not quite emotionally mature enough to realize that's the case, so she's jumping to conclusions.
Deryn has no way of knowing the context in which Alek divulged that information, but it would be reasonable for her to think that it would have happened in a similar way: with some other girl being there for him while he cried. And on top of that, Lilit says "our" secrets, not "the committee's secrets." We know she means her family, but it sounds to Deryn like the two of them have some secrets of their own.
Of course she feels like he replaced her! She was gone for three days, not even a week, and another girl has taken her spot as the Secret Keeper! Of course she's about to strangle him! I would!
AND ON TOP OF THAT we just saw how much work Deryn put in to find him! After all that and you think you've been replaced? Awful. Horrible.
Late to this event on purpose cause my lazy butt could not figure out drawings for all the prompts 🫡
Anways, decided to go a silly route for this based after that short story Scott(?) wrote with Alek in a dress but with a twist. Plus it was a way to finally use this photo ref I've been meaning to use for ages.
"Mr. Sharp," Count Volger said from behind her. "I hope you realize that this complicates things."
She looked over her shoulder. "What are you blethering about?"
...
"If you don't help us, I shall be forced to reveal your little secret."
Deryn froze.
"I had begun to suspect during our fencing lessons," the count said coolly. "There's something about the way you stand. And your outbursts on Alek's behalf have also been revealing. But really, it was the look on your face just now that removed all doubt."
...
"So if you want to continue serving on this ship, Mr. Sharp, I think you will be helping us to escape." A cruel smile spread across Count Volger's face. "Or shall I give our reporter friend here the news?"
Now I could go into detail about how Deryn blends into any role she has to play by doing what other people would do, and she doesn't know how a Boy would stand during a fencing lesson (besides Alek's quick ten minute lesson).
But really I want to sit back and appreciate the villain speech here. He's an absolute menace and you love to see it. The man is beefing with a fifteen year old.
Deryn hesitated. Of the four of them, only she knew exactly when the Leviathan would return to the Sphinx. That way, if the men were captured, the Ottomans couldn't set a trap for the airship.
As for Deryn herself, well, she was a decorated hero, wasn't she? The Ottomans would never drag the truth from her.
YOU ARE A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD WHO WAS GIVEN TOO MUCH TOO SOON. IT IS NOT BRAVE TO HAVE INFORMATION TORTURED OUT OF YOU.
"I can't tell you, Matthews. Just wait here, and don't let anyone see you." The man winced in pain again, and she added, "Trust me, the captain won't leave us behind."
HE DID!!! HE DID LEAVE YOU BEHIND!! YOU ARE NOT SAFE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!
"And if I have to speak German, at least I've been practicing my common accent, so I don't sound like such a prince anymore."
"Such a prince," the creature finally said.
"Well, that's your opinion," Alek said, then sighed.
1. Again, this is my first reread after having had a pet, and by god if I didn't talk to Darwin all the damn time when my sister first got him. I'd be home alone and just talk to the cat like I was giving a lecture and he would blink at me a few times before sprinting off to go eat some dirt or whatever. Bovril is just a weird cat.
2. I think part of the reason Bovril is so rude and says stuff at the worst possible time is because it spent the first few days of its life collecting words from a teenager. Alek's a polite young man but he is also, and I cannot stress this enough, a little shit.
