@bpd-prince - Tumblr Blog

FUCK YOU

I was in the hospital for almost a month, you think I wasn’t in debt? I still owe surgeons money. I was sure I was going to die and was visited maybe 4 days by my brother/family. I was coming out from my first serious surgery under anesthesia and I woke up alone, scared and cold. My whole family had left and didn’t even to stay if I’d wake up. As soon as I was brought back to my room, i burst into tears. Who does that shit? Weird af.

I have been drinking/smoking too much, ended up puking myself almost to death, drenched in sweat, while out with friends. I kept apologizing, left work early because I felt so shit. My liver hurts, I feel tired constantly, I can’t finish any meals, I haven’t had an appetite in weeks even with weed, I’ve lost almost 20 lbs.

I have three older brothers, but they make me feel like I don’t exist, and one threatened to disown me. As if he is perfect. Fuck you. If you think so little of me, you won’t miss me. You guys aren’t perfect, how dare you treat me this way. I have done all I can to at least stay semi successful, life happens. I’m the youngest and you guys act like you’re royal. NONE OF YOU WERE EVER ON YOUR OWN LIKE ME. I don’t have the military to pay my housing and such. And on top on that, your ex left me in debt. You fucking cuck.

#tag #depressed #alone #whydoitry #imtired #sick

only-cat-memes

Why does some fuck shit always happen either days before my birthday or on the day? I’m cursed.

I really think I’m going to kill myself soon, I can’t take the heart ache anymore. I can’t live everyday with this pain

Feeling unloved by the person you love most is the most gut wrenching feeling ever.

Lately I feel like I’m closer to death than ever before.

Baby picture of Casper 🥹🩵

#dogs #german shepherd #husky

#music #spotify

phalaenopfish

Please don’t take your pets for granted. Even if you’re frustrated that your dog has been barking all day or your bird has been screaming for attention, remember you are all they have in this world. Give your fish that extra water change. Give your dog or cat that tummy rub they’ve been begging for. Chop up some fresh fruit as a treat for your rodents or reptiles. Just spend some time with them. Be compassionate to your animals. They are living creatures that are alive simply because you wish them to be. They may only be a small part in your life, but to them, you are their everything.

Relapsed today, the person I love almost called the cops on me. And I almost ended up in the mental hospital for the 3rd time. Nothing can describe this pain. I’m left to wallow in my sadness alone. Drinking an entire bottle of wine on an empty stomach because it’s better than suicide, right?

†

bebs-art-gallery

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐬

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