Braden, I never really though that I would even meet you, I thought your pictures were cool, and you smoke a lot of weed. When I first met you I didn’t know what to think of you, I didn’t know if you were just some fag that sagged his pants and flexed with all of his weed, (I mean like yeah you did that too lol) But I never really realized how deep you really were into that shit, the first month and a half of knowing you, I saw you sober once, and it was because I sleep at your house and you woke up and weren’t high… But like of course within an hour you went in the room outside of your house and smoked, I asked you why you had to do drugs all the time and why you couldn’t just chill the fuck out for 5 minutes, it was always something, all the time, You had replied with “look beautiful, I have a really cold heart and I don’t feel a lot of things and when I do drugs I feel happy” I didn’t respond, Because I knew exactly how you felt, I stopped asking you to stop doing drugs and getting fucked up because I knew I wouldn’t do shit to help you stop and that I would just get annoying and push you away, When you went to jail I felt kind of relieved, like okay this obviously happened for a reason, God clearly took him out of my life for a reason, this has to be good. But, I kept in touch with your family and hoped we could still be friends, But then on November 10th I got my first call from you, we only had 60 seconds to talk but that changed everything, hearing your voice again made me realize that even if it wasn’t right, I wanted it to be, and I didn’t care, I wanted to be with you. Days went on and I grew angrier and angrier at the situation and I didn’t really know how to feel anymore, I didn’t want to believe it, I wanted to forget about you but I also wanted nothing more than to see you and give you the biggest hug that the universe has ever seen. On November 12 th you called me while I was in mr.Ropellas class, I saw the 920-243-4988 pop up on the caller ID and I knew it was you so I immediately walked out of the class room and stood by the Doors to go outside because ACA connection sucks, and I said hello, and before i could even Finnish you interrupted with “I have something to confess” And I shit you not Braden I thought your ass was going to tell me that you were either gay or that you were using me hoping to get a piece of ass, But I replied with “I don’t know if I was to know” and Braden I don’t know if you actually did or if it was just because it was a mixture of having a lil bit of feels for me and missing me or if you actually did, but you told me that you loved me, I didn’t know what to say I was left speechless, For the first time in a long time I felt accepted, I have never felt like I was ever enough for someone, and I did, I felt that, I felt wanted, and I loved that. I didn’t say it back because I was t really sure, I never really thought about it before you said it, But I silently sat there with this obnoxious smile stretching across my face. Throughout the week or two after that I expected my daily call at 11 and always enjoyed the words you had spoke to me. The day you got out I couldn’t even explain the joy I had in my heart, I had to work but oh my god I ACTUALLY LIKED BEING AT WORK because I was actually happy, Everyone told me to give up on you and said you wouldn’t change and that you would do this and do that, and yeah, some of it was right But some of it wasn’t, Braden I love you so much and I think I know why now, I don’t really know how to explain it but I don’t know why that Instagram account DMed me or why we met each other but I do know it happened for a reason and I don’t want this feeling of being whole and complete to ever go away, Braden gray degner, I love you.
