Brain Autocorrect Fails

A collection of weird brain autocorrects caused by auditory processing disorder, paraphasia, visual processing disorders, or other disabilities. As I (the mod) am autistic, it will be primarily autism focused but anyone who experiences brain autocorrects due to any sort of disability is welcome to submit! All are welcome to follow and interact with posts but I ask that submissions only come from those who experience auditory processing disorder. Please try to submit with the submit button as opposed to asks! Avatar is the 2016 Neurodiversity shirt by ThinkGeek.

[yesornopolls]

have you ever had a genuine crush* on a mutual?

*(in this case, a “crush” could be romantic, queerplatonic, or any other form of intense attraction)

Have you ever had a genuine crush* on a mutual?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJan 18, 2025

[brainautocorrects]

What the post actually said: Protect intellectually disabled autistic people.

What I read: Protect the intellectual property of autistic people.

[brainautocorrects]

What I heard: *gesturing to the pool* A whole pack of bacon!

What was said: A whole package of baking soda (to balance the PH)

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I just read "soup" as "soap" and I got really grossed out hearing someone talking about eating soap...

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I always misread "realty" as in selling buildings or land, as "reality" as in things that are real. One time I was driving late at night and I saw a sign that said "Realty Nexus" and for a moment I thought I'd stumbled into a scifi novel.

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[brainautocorrects]

I almost always misread signs that say "Private Drive" as "Privet Drive" (like in Harry Potter). Which is an interesting switch because I vaguely recall thinking vice-versa when I read HP for the first time.

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What was said: The means may vary

What I heard: The memes may vary

[brainautocorrects]

What the sign said: Ask about auction!

What I read: Ask about abduction!

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I knew my brain wasn't working and things wouldn't come out right but I tried to talk anyways and ended up with a slurred mess. I swear I'm not drunk!!

That’s always the way isn’t it? XD

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I read "calm down" as "clam bow" I don't know how that happened

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I was trying to explain something and every time I wanted to say right I said left so it was a total disaster.

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Brain AutoCorrect Fails is a collection of weird brain autocorrects caused by auditory processing disorder, paraphasia, visual processing disorders, or other disabilities. As I (the mod) am autistic, it will be primarily autism focused but anyone who experiences brain autocorrects due to any sort of disability is welcome to submit! All are welcome to follow and interact with posts but I ask that submissions only come from those who experience some sort of disability. Please try to submit with the submit button as opposed to asks!

[brainautocorrects]

What the heading in the article said: "Experimental Setup"

What I saw: "Experimental Soup"

[brainautocorrects]

What the post said: Demand Fair Debates What I saw: Demand Fair Diabetes

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Watching Snapped (a docudrama crime show, crap TV at its finest):

What the narrator said: taser and duct tape

What I heard: taser and nutmeg

[brainautocorrects]

I misread 'Aim high' from a military ad as "I am high" was vastly confused

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I just realized that yesterday I hit the 50 followers mark with this blog! Woo! Thank you all so much for your support! Keep sending in your hilarious brain autocorrects and sharing :) I feel like I should do something to celebrate but I have no talent with photoshop or anything so alas, this post will have to suffice. Perhaps if/when this blog reaches a larger milestone (such as 100 or 500 or something) I’ll do a giveaway.