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@brandongrubb
Love in the Prairie State
Whitefield Cemetery Marshall County, IL
Love in the Prairie State
little flowers little flowers
August 3rd, 1996 (Audio)
Podcast Episode · When I Did Drugs In The 90's (And Early 00's) in a small midwestern town · July 13 · 16m
Check out this great listen on Audible.com. August 3rd, 1996 retro journal entryhttp://www.brandongrubb.com...
August 3rd, 1996
There were only a couple weeks left before classes resumed at the area colleges and Petro’s cousin Curtis was throwing one of his notorious house parties.
I’d driven down with Petro, who knew more people from that area than I did. The party seemed to already be in full swing when we arrived. I casually hung out beside Petro, listening to his conversations and nursing a keg beer until some time later someone noticed me.
“Hey!” they yelled at me from off to one side. As I turned, I beheld Gabby standing a short distance away. Doing a double take, I faced her with the rest of my body and we hugged.
“Is WIDD playing?” I looked around.
“So we can only run into each other at WIDD shows?” she asked.
“I just thought that was kind of our thing,” I shrugged my shoulders.
“We have things?” Her face lit up.
“If we don’t we should,” I replied.
“What are they?” she continued.
“Our things?” I asked. Gabby nodded emphatically. “Hmmm,” I pondered, “Well, the ritual for one, I guess. We’re trying to win it as a team, right?”
“We are now!” she exclaimed.
“So then we need to practice,” I stated.
“We do?” she gave me a funny look.
“If we want to win,” I insisted.
“Have you ever seen the people that get picked,” she asked, “I definitely don’t think they practice.”
“How will we stand out then,” I queried. Gabby thought about it for a moment.
“How about interpretative dancing!” she suggested.
“What are we interpreting?” I retrieved a cigarette from my pocket.
“WIDD songs!” she answered.
“So one of us just picks a random WIDD song each time and then we act it out during the ritual?” I lit my cigarette and inhaled deeply.
“Yes!” she nodded, “We can take turns picking the song. Oh! And we can alternate lines. Like you act out the first one and then I act out the next one and back and forth!”
I considered her proposal as I took another drag.
“We can’t not win,” I said.
“I know!” she agreed.
“Who picks first?” I asked.
“You can,” she offered, “Which song are we going with?”
“I’ll have to think about it,” I replied after several seconds, “I want it to be perfect.”
“Ok!” she exclaimed.
“Hey!” Petro stepped up into the space between us.
“Well hey!” she replied, reaching out and giving him a hug.
“10,” Petro said.
“10?” Gabby asked.
“BR 10,” he clarified.
“I know,” she smiled, “I’ve been here before, remember?”
“That’s right!” Petro exclaimed, “The night Aaron wigged out.”
“Aaron? Who’s Aaron? I remember Guy having a bad trip,” Gabby glanced over at me. Petro stared at her blankly.
“Me,” I interjected, “Remember? I’m Guy.”
“Oh. Right,” he said, “Guy.” Gabby gave him a satisfactory nod. “You want to play a game of euchre?” Petro faced me.
“Ya. I’m down. How many do you need?” I turned to Gabby and then back to him.
“I don’t know. I’ll ask Jimmy. He’s the one that asked me. Do you want in if we need a fourth?” he asked her.
“What are you playing?” she sought clarification.
“Euchre,” he repeated.
“I have no idea how to play that,” she informed him.
“What?” he acted surprised, “You must not be from around here.” Gabby smirked and shrugged her shoulders.
“Is euchre some sort of rite of passage in this area?” she inquired.
“The state,” I replied.
“Huh. I guess I better learn,” she mused, “But not tonight. You boys go have fun. I’m going to go find my friend.”
“It was good to see you,” Petro smiled.
“Catch you later,” I said.
Gabby returned the sentiment and walked off.
A couple hours passed and Petro and I had played multiple games of cards with long pauses in between. We had just found our way back outside when I caught a glimpse of Gabby standing near a group of people.
“You wanna grab a bite to eat at The Loop?” Petro asked, referring to a nearby truck stop that sat along a major highway.
“Ya,” I said, “Sounds good.”
“I’ve got some bud at home,” he added, “We can swing by and grab it.”
“Hey! Where are you guys going?” Gabby called after us just as we’d turned around and started to walk away.
“To grab something to eat,” I replied.
“Where?” she approached us.
“Up the road,” Petro answered, “A gas station off the highway.”
“The one by that big ice cream cone?” she asked, referencing a large structure on the top of a seasonal ice cream shop.
“Ya,” Petro nodded, “That one. Everyone calls it The Loop.”
“Are you coming back?” she immediately followed up. Petro and I looked at each other. I shrugged my shoulders at him, not knowing what the plan was.
“Ya,” he answered after a moment of silence.
“Can I tag along?” she requested. Again Petro and I glanced at each other.
“Sure,” he stuck his lower lip out, “We might stop by my house. I live like 5 minutes from there.”
“That’s fine,” she nodded, “If you don’t mind. If you do, that’s cool. My friend disappeared with someone, probably into a room, so I’m kind of stuck out here by myself. I don’t really know anyone besides you guys.”
“Me and Guy over here?” Petro joked.
“Ya,” she smiled, “Guy and Friend.” Petro chuckled and the three of us headed toward his car.
After stopping at The Loop and grabbing something to eat, we headed on to Petro’s parents where he lived when he wasn’t away at college.
Petro’s dad was a successful salesman and frequently away on business. When he was home, he was known to indulge in his vast collection of expensive alcohol that was housed in their fully furnished basement. His name was Mike, and once he’d gotten good and liquored up, he loved to tell fantastical stories. Everything from the names of famous people he’d rubbed elbows with to tall tales from his time in the military.
Petro didn’t say it, but as we entered the house, I could tell by his body language and demeanor that he was hoping to avoid him. It didn’t happen. His dad was in the process of shutting the refrigerator as we walked in the front door .
“Well good evening!” Mike said.
“Mr. Petropoulus,” I replied.
“Hello,” he greeted Gabby after inspecting her for a few moments. It became immediately apparent that he was well on his way to inebriation.
“Good evening!” she smiled and waved.
“We’re just stopping in so I can use the bathroom,” Petro said before heading in the direction of a hallway.
“Come down for a drink,” his Dad insisted as he moved toward a set of stairs on the far side of the room.
“We gotta get back to Curtis’s,” Petro called over his shoulder.
“Just a drink,” Mike dismissed his son as he disappeared into the basement.
“He seems nice,” Gabby whispered.
“He’s alright,” I replied, “He’s usually pretty drunk by now.”
“What’s he do?” she asked.
“Salesman,” I answered, “Makes a lot of money. You should see their basement. It has a really fancy fully stocked bar and pool table. Seating area. All kinds of elaborate decorations. Statues, paintings. Stuff like that.”
“Cool!” she exclaimed, “Can I see it? He did invite us down for a drink.”
“That’s up to Petro,” I deferred, “Just depends on if he feels like hanging out with his dad. Mike gets going on these really crazy stories. I think I’ve heard all of them at least two or three times by now.”
“Like what?” Gabby became engaged. I ran through a couple of his more outrageous ones in my head, trying to decide which one gave the best overall feel for a typical Mike story.
“When he was in the army he got busted smuggling heroin back into the states using hollowed out televisions,” I said, “And he claims he once went out of body and walked around town one night after doing a bunch of drugs.”
“Really?” her voice revealed intrigue.
“According to Mike,” I shrugged my shoulders.
“You guys ready?” Petro emerged from the hallway.
“Can I see your basement?” Gabby asked. Petro stared at her for a moment, then at me, and then back at her. “Your dad invited us,” she added, “It would be rude not to.” He continued gawking at her before making a face like he knew we were in for something and then brushed past us on his way toward the basement. Gabby followed excitedly.
The stairs ended at one corner of the basement and the bar was located on the far opposite one. Mike sat behind it with a bottle of hard liquor and glass in front of him. On an entertainment center against the wall across from him was a television.
“Have a drink!” he called out as soon as he saw us.
“We’re just passing through,” Petro informed him as we walked over.
“What’ll you have?” Mike continued.
“I’m good,” I shook my head. Petro shook his as well.
“What’re you drinking?” Gabby hopped up on a stool across from him. Mike turned the bottle to face her and then reached for a nearby ashtray where his lit cigarette was burning. “Looks nice,” she said after inspecting the label. Mike took a drag and then reached under the bar for a glass. Once he retrieved one, he began pouring into it from the bottle. Gabby smelled it, and after making a face like it was strong, took a sip. Immediately she recoiled. Mike made a soundless jolt as if he found it amusing and then exhaled a cloud of smoke he’d been holding in. Gabby slid the drink in front of me like she wanted help finishing it. After a brief hesitation I took a drink, and upon coughing at its potency, tried to hand it over my shoulder to Petro. He refused.
“No thanks,” he shook his head. I set it back down on the bar hoping Mike wouldn’t push us to finish it.
“I love your basement Mr. Petropoulus,” Gabby scanned the room.
“Good stuff, huh?” Mike said, still thinking about the liquor he poured for her.
“Ya,” Gabby replied, trying to be polite, “A little strong. Is it on the higher end?”
“I wish I had some of the stuff old man Newburn buried,” he looked down at the glass and then up at Gabby who wasn’t sure what to say. “You know?” he asked.
“I don’t,” she answered.
“You don’t know about old man Newburn?” he blinked slowly. Knowing what was about to happen, I glanced over my shoulder at Petro who looked at me with an annoyed expression. Gabby shook her head.
“There was a big train wreck on the west side of Crosby,” Mike hunched over the bar as he began telling the story, “In the 60’s. On the Newburn property. It was heading toward Cochran. Went off the rails and killed a woman. True story. She was driving on the road that runs alongside it.”
“Wow,” Gabby uttered.
“27 train cars,” Mike’s eyes opened a little wider, “All over the place. Scattered across the property and road. Debris everywhere”
“What caused it?” Gabby asked. Mike once again retrieved his cigarette and took a deep drag before shrugging his shoulders.
“It had a bunch of whiskey barrels on it,” he continued, “Old man Newburn hid some of them before the feds showed up. Somewhere on his property. In a barn or in the woods. Aged whiskey. Expensive stuff.”
“Did anyone ever find it?” Gabby inquired, visibly intrigued.
“Old man Newburn died a couple weeks later,” Mike glossed over her question, “Probably from over exerting himself trying to hide the barrels.”
“Oh my gosh,” Gabby uttered.
“Years later his widow disappeared,” Mike sat up a little straighter, “Mailman noticed she wasn’t getting her mail. Cops came and she was nowhere to be found. Several weeks later a farmer went to get some water out of a well on his property and noticed an odor. After inspecting it, he realized there was a body in it. Come to find out it was old man Newburn’s widow. Bound and decomposing.”
“What!” Gabby exclaimed. Mike squinted his eyes and nodded. “Why?” she asked, “What happened?” Mike put the cigarette to his lips, maintaining the introspective face he had made.
“They think someone tried to get the location of the whiskey barrels out of her,” Petro spoke up.
“They don’t know who did it?” Gabby spun around. Petro shook his head.
“It’s a true story,” Petro added, “At least the train wreck and murder are. Who knows about the whiskey barrels. That’s a rumor.”
“Somewhere on the Newburn’s property are whiskey barrels worth a fortune,” Mike reached for his glass, “Unless the old man drank em. Which is unlikely. He wasn’t known to drink and he was notorious for pinching pennies. Those old depression era people, ya know?”
“Wow…,” Gabby whispered, “Is it close to here?”
“Other side of Crosby,” I answered, “Yes but no. Borders my grandparent’s farm. They say the widow’s ghost roams the area looking for the barrels. Legend is she doesn’t know she’s dead. She’s trying to find them because she thinks it’ll stop them from murdering her if she tells them where they are.”
“You guys ready?” Petro spoke up before his dad could say anything else. I nodded and took a step back. Gabby gazed off into the wall behind Mike as she continued to process the story. After a few moments she scooted her stool back and slid out of it.
“Nice to meet you,” she held her hand out to shake Mikes, “Thank you for the drink. And the story.” Mike smiled and shook her hand. The three of us left and headed back for Curtis’s.
We didn’t stick around the party much longer. Gabby located her friend pretty quickly upon returning, and after assessing that things were winding down, Petro and I decided to leave again. Petro sought out a few people to let them know he was leaving for good, and I did the same with Gabby.
“Are you going to the show on the 17th?” I inquired.
“Where is it?” Gabby asked.
“Basom,” I replied, “I’m surprised you didn’t know.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love WIDD, but I’m not one of those people that sets my calendar around them,” she clarified, “I’ll attend as many shows as I can, but I don’t memorize them.”
“I don’t either,” I said, “You just usually seem to know when they’re playing.”
“I’m friends with several die-hards,” she chuckled, “But I definitely go every chance I get. Are you going?”
“Ya,” I nodded, “It’ll probably be their last show of the year. And my older brother lives in Basom. I might crash there afterwards.”
“Cool,” she smiled, “I’ll see you there.”
“Promise?” I asked, “Petro will be at school so if you don’t come I’ll be stuck there alone.”
“Promise!” she stuck her pinky out and I understood she was offering up the childhood gesture known as a pinky swear. I wrapped my own around hers and we made a shaking motion. Gabby laughed and we hugged. She had just started to walk away when she came to an abrupt stop. “What song are we dancing to?” she asked.
“It’s Easier To Be Nice At Night,” I said after thinking about it for a few moments.
“Yes!” she exclaimed, “Perfect! I’ll work on it. You take the first line and we’ll alternate.”
“Deal,” I nodded. Gabby smiled one last big smile and began walking away again.
As I turned around I spotted Petro waiting for me a short distance away.
“What’s going on with you guys?” he asked as I got near.
“We were just discussing the ritual,” I replied, “I figured you’ll probably be in Montagrier or I’d have mentioned going.”
“I will be but that’s not what I meant,” he said. I peered over at him as we headed toward his car.
“What did you mean?” I asked. Petro made a face like it was a ridiculous question. “Just friends,” I placed my vision back on the darkness in front of us, “She’s super cool.”
“Ya, she’s awesome,” he agreed, “But there’s obviously something going on.” I turned back to face him with the intent of protesting, but as soon as I did, my strength escaped.
“I don’t even know how to approach it with her,” I seized the opportunity to vent, “She maintains this secret thing where she doesn’t want us to know about each other. Plus I’m still with Rachel.”
“Maybe it’s just a game to her,” he suggested, “I’ll bet if you ask her what her name is and for her number she’d give it to you.”
“And what if she doesn’t?” I asked.
“Then she doesn’t and you just keep playing the game,” he shrugged his shoulders, “but I’ll bet she would.”
I thought about Petro’s words in silence for the rest of the way to his car, and for a while after we were in it. Perhaps he was right, and it was as simple as asking her. If all she was willing to do was give me her phone number, at least I’d have someone to go to WIDD shows with. Especially considering that Rachel had no interest in them.
As we drove toward Crosby I resolved to ask her for more information the next time I saw her.
Love in the Prairie State
June 19th, 1996 (Audio)
Check out this great listen on Audible.com. "When I Did Drugs In The 90's (And Early 00's) in a small midwestern town" is a fictionalized re
Podcast Episode · When I Did Drugs In The 90's (And Early 00's) in a small midwestern town · May 22 · 4m
June 19th, 1996
I’d taken a job that summer laying asphalt, and we were working a minimum of six days every week. It was labor intensive and the days were long. I still found time to party with my friends and hang out with Rachel, but I had far less time to get out and do things the way I had in previous summers. In addition, the combination of working with asphalt in the unforgiving summer sun drained me, which left little energy to do anything that didn’t allow me to just sit or recline.
I made an exception, however, for a WIDD album release party.
WIDD had already played several shows that summer, but as I was still a year out from being 21, I couldn’t attend the ones in bars and clubs. Some of my friends had fake ID’s, but I wasn’t interested in going that route. It gave me an excuse to protect my downtime and recoup on rare days off.
WIDD’s new album was called “64 Screens,” and they were debuting it at the The Family Center in Tuttle where I’d seen them previously. Rachel had no interest in going, and neither did Petro’s girlfriend, so he and I went with a couple people from our friend group.
It was packed but it didn’t take long for Gabby and I to spot each other. Simultaneously our eyes met and she began waving from halfway across the room.
After pointing her out to Petro, I leaned in and shouted that I’d be back.
Once I got to her, she opened her mouth excitedly and threw her arms around my neck.
“What’s up?” she yelled.
“Not much,” I replied.
“You excited?” Gabby leaned back and looked around the room.
“Oh ya,” I nodded vigorously, “I can’t wait to hear this album.”
“Me either!” she smiled, “I heard it’s hip hop!”
“It’s what?” I looked at her funny.
“Hip hop!” she yelled louder, fighting to be heard over the buzz of the crowd.
“The new WIDD album?” I sought clarification, “64 Screens?”
“Ya,” Gabby nodded emphatically, “I could be wrong but that’s what I heard.” I tried to process what she was saying. WIDD was well known for their ability to replicate any sound or genre, and even had a couple songs that could've been considered hip hop, but as a rule their music didn’t sound anything like it. Still, it was typical for them to do something out of left field like that.
“That’s crazy,” I uttered, “Now I’m really intrigued.” At that moment I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Petro standing behind me.
“What’s the BR?” he asked. Gabby looked at him puzzled for a few moments before it finally registered.
“I haven’t been tonight,” she replied, “but based on past experiences here I would give it a BR of 7. Maybe 7.5”
“Wow,” he said, “This place is high class.”
“Comparitevly,” she interjected.
“Comparitevly,” Petro said snoodily, “Of course.” Gabby laughed.
“Are we doing the ritual tonight?” she took a more serious tone, glancing between us.
“Oh no,” Petro shook his head, “No way.”
“Come on!” she insisted, “It’ll be fun!”
“Maybe if someone slips me something,” he stated, “That’s about the only way.”
“Are you telling me to spike your drink?” she asked.
“No. Well, maybe,” Petro’s face became curious, “What’re we talking about?”
“What do you like?” Gabby inquired. Petro thought about it for a moment.
“Surprise me,” he eventually replied, “Just kidding. I’m good.” Gabby made a disappointed face and then turned to me. I wanted to reject her invitation but couldn’t.
“Are we just freestyling or coming up with a routine?” I asked.
“Yes!” she exclaimed, “That’s the spirit! I don’t care. You pick.”
“Maybe freestyle this time,” I said after thinking about it for a few moments, “If I’m not too embarrassed to attend another WIDD show afterwards maybe we can incorporate something next time.”
“Embaressed? At a WIDD show?” Gabby scowled, “Isn’t that why people come to WIDD shows?’
“That’s true,” I agreed, “If you’re here you’re probably already being judged.” Gabby laughed, causing her earrings to jingle slightly. “Hey. Were you wearing those the night I was having a bad trip?” I nodded in their direction.
“What?” Gabby reached first to her hair and then the earrings. Feeling them with her fingers, she remembered which ones she had on. “I’m not sure,” she replied. I leaned in to get a better look and immediately recognized the colors. It was the shades of green and purple I’d found myself getting lost in as my head lay on her lap. The earrings themselves were in the shape of a green camel, and upon closer inspection, there appeared to be a purplish flower in the middle of them. “Yes!” I exclaimed, “I was getting lost in them before Petro showed up. The green was morphing and then a purple flower was blooming.”
“That actually sounds awesome,” Gabby said, rubbing the bottom of the camel’s legs between her fingers.
“Is it a camel?” I asked. Gabby smiled and nodded. I was about to ask her why she had camel earrings when Petro spoke up.
“Hey, I’m gonna go grab a smoke,” he took a step away from us, “You guys coming?”
“Sure!” Gabby replied.
“Where’s Crane?” I looked around the immediate area as we started walking.
“Oh he didn’t feel like coming tonight,” she stuck her lower lip out.
“Is he Crane because of his name or his build?” I asked.
“His name,” she answered, then paused, “I think. I don’t know. That’s a good question. Maybe both.” I wanted to ask if they were an item but it felt like if I did it would change the nature of our interaction. Like I’d be making her uncomfortable or forcing us to define parameters.
“Did you come alone?” I further queried. Gabby nodded.
Once outside, Petro asked if we wanted to smoke a bowl first and we did. Then, after a cigarette, we headed back into The Family Center.
A little while later, after grabbing our copies of the new album, we found our place in the crowd ahead of WIDD’s set. The band members didn’t conduct a signing or interact with those of us in attendance outside of their stage show, but it didn’t surprise anyone. They consistently maintained a level of detachment. Almost as if we weren’t there or were just extras in their theatrical production.
Once they came out, it was obvious right away that Gabby had heard right. Their new music had a strong hip hop sound. It was an intriguing blend of genre defining characteristics coupled with their consistent brand of sensationalism and whimsical lyrics.
It was enthralling and I marveled at WIDD’s ability to seamlessly keep their music evolving and fresh.
I was so engaged that I forgot I’d told Gabby I’d do the ritual with her. That is until the lights went out and the first drum beat hit.
Gabby instantly turned to me with an excited then inviting look on her face, and I suddenly knew what had been sitting in my subconscious.
I was in love.
Beckoning me with her head, Gabby began squeezing her way through the crowd and I followed.
By the time we got to the open space in front of the band there were already roughly a dozen other people. Gabby settled into the beat with a relaxed motion and began vacillating between getting lost in the rhythm with closed eyes and occasionally checking to see if I had joined her yet. Unsure what to do, I began mimicking her movements. After a full minute or two, WIDD began incorporating a beat that reflected the nature of their new album. It was the same general drum solo that they used every time for the ritual, but there were now various hip hop elements to it. This caused Gabby to become a little more intentional in her dance, and I tried to adjust.
Eventually the Laughing Lady emerged and pointed at someone in the crowd. The manager came out, verified the selection, and then promptly left again.
Gabby frowned to express her dismay at not being selected and then quickly began clapping to reflect her excitement over my participation.
We made our way back to the area where we’d left Petro, and upon realizing he was no longer there, shrugged our shoulders and watched the rest of the WIDD show together.
When it was over, Gabby grabbed the back of my shirt so we didn’t get separated on the way out.
It didn’t take long once we exited the building to spot Petro who was with the other people we’d come with. As they were all ready to leave, I was deprived of the opportunity to spend any time conversing with Gabby or ask what show she might attend next. We thanked each other for taking part in the ritual and then she disappeared into the stream of people trickling out of the venue.
From this day last year. It’s time for the catalpa trees to be blooming!