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@braveenough
#myfaneyheart #allthefeels
Blossom
In our secret garden, we stroll in silence Awkward pause, then our eyes meet with laughter Till we trade words, natural, flowing poetry All the things we talk about, serious or silly Coffee or tea, movie or book Parades or museums, letâs take a look Cycles to passions, seasons to reasons Hopes and plans, letâs take a chance A walk by the lake, we share The night is young with the stars aflame Long and long we sit and stare Then your lips part, as you whisper my name You say, âItâs fine, letâs take our timeâ Stay with me And make a little rhyme
Musings
I am somewhat strange, difficult, and not your kind of perfect I stay hidden behind prose with a box of secrets waiting to be unpuzzled And for a long time I havent felt what itâs like to be in the state of utter bliss With a faint whisper, I say to you Distance can be traversed Time can be reversed Scars may be evident But beyond these walls, donât stray Seek further Sorrow will be buried beneath the ashes We will find beauty, smooth and easy And for the rest of my days Iâll get lost in your gaze
Brevity
On the edge of a skyscaper, we sit The sky is lilac, beautiful overhead Silence filled in the spaces between our fingers Till the stars appear along the city lights And the air around us becomes still In fear, i shiver I come to search for guarantee Maybe written somewhere inconspicuously Maybe somewhere suspended in oblivion As if fate is on my side I know too well that each time our eyes meet Everything else is a blur So stay and hold me together Better than gravity does
Set Sail
As I am right here, for death has just released me
While you dream of life, love and fleeting pain
Waiting for the sunrise to set our skins ablaze, with your senses unraveling in the haven of my arms
Tomorrow, together
Weâll walk atop the bridges, the mountains, and the shattered pieces that would remain perfect as is
Beyond the stars
Behind those bars
Let us steer away
Choosing You (one-shot)
âHeâs not gonna make it.â
âYeah well, whatâs new?â inis na react ni Ash. Lumingon sya at natanaw si Julie sa may kitchen at nakangiting kausap ang ilan sa mga bisita nito. Binalingan nyang muli si Kevin. Ash took a deep sigh. âGo, ikaw na magsabi.â
âI think she already knows.â
Pagkatapos ng mahigit isang oras ay unti-unti nang umaalis ang mga bisita sa birthday party ni Julie, hanggang sa silang tatlo na lang nina Ash at Kevin ang natira.Â
âGuys, uwi na kayo. Kaya ko na âto.â sambit ni Julie.
âItâs okay, Juls, tulungan ka na namin ni Ash.â Kevin smiled at her. âAhm, nga pala. Nag-message ba sa iyo si Moe?â
âHm? Uhm-â
âAs usual, hindi.â singit ni Ashley. âIyong di nya pagsipot sa mga important events at okasyon, normal na iyon, kaya okay lang kay Julie. Sanayan na lang iyan.â sarkastiko nitong sagot.
Napangiti si Julie at napailing. âNope, he didnât send any message, peroâŠang alam ko may lakad talaga sya ngayon.â
Maya-mayaây humarap si Ash kay Julie. âUmamin ka nga sa âmin, meron pa âno?â
âHuh? Meron pang alin?â
âAno pa, e âdi iyong butterflies. Iyong something mo dun kay Elmo. Huwag ka nang mag-deny, di ka pa naka-move on âno?â
âSira ka talaga, Ashley. Ano bang klaseng tanong iyan?â natatawang tanong ni Julie habang pinagpatuloy ang paglilinis.
âSus! Beh, pinagdaanan ko na iyan. Iyang hitsura mo na iyan, iyang reaksyon mo, iyang kilos mo, nagawa ko na iyan before, saktong-sakto. Ganyan na ganyan. Paano ka ba naman kasi makakaalis dyan sa six-year-old feelings mo e hindi mo magawang dumistansya sa mokong na iyon.â
âAshley, pwede ba.â si Kevin. âTheyâre bestfriends!â
âNo, theyâre not. Ako ang bestfriend ni Julie, si Elmo, sumingit lang iyon six years ago and since then hindi na huminto sa kaka-epal.â
âBut theyâre still friends.â katwiran ni Kevin. âAnd no matter how much you feel for someone, if youâre friends and youâre close and you understand each other in a really special way, you canât just take a step away from that person that easily.â
Nakangiti lang si Julie habang palipat-lipat ang tingin nya mula kay Ashley papunta kay Kevin at pabalik ulit kay Ash. HIndi na sya nagreact pa dahil alam nyang matatalo lang sya sa kaibigan. But deep inside, she couldnât help but feel sad and disappointed for a couple of reasons: first, sa hindi pagdating ni Elmo sa birthday party nya na ito mismo ang nagplano and second, sa realization na tama si Ashley, those stupid feelings are still there, and they were never gone.
âO sya, tama na iyan. baka mag-away na naman kayong dalawa e. Mabuti pa-â Napatigil si Julie nang biglang bumukas ang pinto. Sabay-sabay silang tatlong napatingin sa pintuan at nakita si Elmo pagbukas nito.
âBetter late than never.â bulong ni Kevin.
âHmp. Late pa rin.â bulong naman ni Ash.
âHey.â sambit ni Elmo, saka ito lumapit sa kanila. âSorry, I missed it.â sabi nito kay Julie.
âOkay lang. Akala ko ba may lakad ka ngayon?â si Julie.
âMaaga natapos.â Saka sya nagabot ng isang di kalakihang paper bag kay Julie. âHappy birthday.â And he gave her an apologizing smile.Julie smiled back at kinuha ang bag.
âThank you. Kumain ka na?â
âUh, yeah. Hm, may tira pang cake?â
Inayos ni Julie ang makalat nan lamesa sa may terrace ng apartment nya. Habang kumakain si Elmoây nakatingin naman sya sa dog na stuffed toy na laman ng paper bag na bigay sa kanya ng binata. May suot itong dog tag na may pangalang âWACKYâ. Napangiti sya at binalingan ang kaibigan na mukhang ineenjoy ang mango bravo cake na hinain nya rito.
Then Moe looked at her and their eyes met. âWhat?â tanong nito.
âAnong what?â tanong ni Julie.
âYou canât just stare at me like that, you know? They might think youâre in love with me.â Mahinang natawa si Julie at saka sya nagtaas ng kilay.
âAnd you canât justâŠtreat me the way you do, they might think YOUâRE in love with me.â ganti nya kay Elmo.
âBakit, in love naman ako sa iyo ah.â
âYeah right. For once, stop flirting with me, okay?â
âBakit, nahuhulog ka na?â pangaasar ni Elmo. Julie rolled her eyes.Â
âIsa na lang, ikaw ang ihuhulog ko dyan.â Tumayo si Julie at saka lumapit sa may railings ng terrace at pilit na nilipat ang atensyon sa malamig na hanging dumadapo sa mukha nya.
âWhy so serious.â sambit ni Elmo bago nya ubusin ang orange juice sa baso nya. And then he stood up and found himself a place right next to Julie. Sinulyapan nya ito at napansin na seryoso nga ang mukha ng dalaga at mukhang napakalalim ng iniisip. âHey.â tawag nya rito.
Tinignan sya ni Julie. âAno?â
âSix years.â
âHuh?â
âWeâve been doing this for six years.â
âDoing what?â
Elmo took a sigh, looked away and smiled. âThis sameâŠexact momentâŠwhen Iâm right next to you and youâre there, so quiet and I look at you and wonder âwhat the hell is she thinking right now?!â. Six years. And there was never a time, na kapag magkasama tayo, may ganitong moment. And until now, Iâm still wondering. You still make me wonder.â At saka ito biglang natawa. âWow, how korni is that?!â
Natawa rin si Julie saka sya tumalikod at sumandal sa may railings habang si Elmo namaây nakaharap pa rin sa kabilang direksyon. âYou donât have to know everything that Iâm thinking about.â sambit ni Julie.
Tumango-tango si Elmo. âYeah, well, may point ka. I would say the same thing to you. I canât tell you everything that runs through my mind, you might use it against me.â
Ngumit si Julie at nilingon ang kaibigan. âBaliw.â Moe just smiled and they spent the next few minutes standing next to each other, facing the opposite directions and saying nothing to each other. And itâs on those moments when their hearts speak the loudest. If only they can let each other know what and how exactly how they feel.
âJuls!â biglang tinawag ni Ashley si Julie. âHalika, dali!âÂ
âWait lang ah.â paalam ni Julie kay Elmo bago nya ito iwan. Sinundan ng tingin ni Elmo si Julie at nakatanaw sya habang kausap nito si Ashley at may tinatawanan ang mga ito sa cellphone ni Ash.
At habang magisa syang nasa balcony ay pinako nya ang atensyon nya kay Julie habang inalala ang usapan nila ni Jethro kanina. Nasa send-off party sila ng boss nila at ni-require lahat na um-attend kaya hindi sya nakaabot sa party ni Julie kahit na sya ang nag-prepare at nagplano nito.
Nahuli sya ni Jeth na uminom ng dalawang magkasunod na bote ng beer sa may bar.Â
âUy, pare, okay ka lang?â tanong ni Jeth habang pumwepesto ito sa tabi nya. Naroon silang dalawa habang ang ibaây nagsasayawan at nagkukwentuhan sa dance floor. âPang-ilan na iyan.â
âDalawa lang pare, di ako pwede malasing, may pupuntahan pa ako pagkatapos neto.â
âIyong party ni Julie, ngayon iyon diba?â
âOo. Dun nga ako didiretso after dito. Sana makaabot.â
âTsk, tsk.â sambit ni Jeth habang umiililng. âSanay na rin naman si Julie sa iyo, pare. You always miss the special occasions.â
âBut I canât miss this one.â
âBakit? âCause sheâs finally 22 years old? Anong meron sa edad na 22?â
Natawa si Elmo habang nakatingin sa screen ng cellphone nya. âIâm planning to tell something to her tonight. And Iâve beenâŠpreparing for this, for years.â
âAnd whatâs that?â
Moe shook his head. âBut I donât know if I can do it.â
âWell, if youâre to going to wait until youâre ready, you might never get the chance.â Nilingon ni Elmo si Jeth. âPare, matagal na tayong magkaibigan and I know you well enough to assume kung ano iyang nararamdaman mo.â
âAno sa palagay mo ire-react nya?â
âEwan ko. Kelan pa natin naintindihan ang mga babae? We can never figure them out.â
âI feel stupid.â mahinang sabi ni Elmo.
âYou should.â Napatingin ulit si Moe sa kaibigan. âAll these years, what did you do? You had 3 girlfriends, all were serious except for the last one na feeling ko napilitan ka lang na iwork out iyong relationship nyo. You went in and out of Julieâs life, for many many times, you kept your distance from her and you came back, you kept your communication but there are times when you were completely ignoring her, and then you appear again and sheâs all you want to talk to, and want to be with and you flirt with her and you do things for her you havenât done for anyone else. You two have the complicated friendship ever, but you still ended up staying in each otherâs lives and refusing to walk away. And nowâŠyou finally decided to tell her. Yes, youâre stupid. Dahil dapat, noon pa sana sinabi mo na.â
âPara namang ganun kadali.â
âWalang madali pare. Mahirap lahat iyan. Itâs just a matter of making a choice. You just need to choose between making it hard for yourself or making it hard for you both. Trust me, you donât want to be in the âtoo-late zoneâ for the rest of your life.â
âBut what if itâs already too late?â
âPupuntahan mo naman sya mamaya diba? Tomorrow may be too late, but you still today.â
Humugot nang malalim na hininga si Elmo habang nakatanaw pa rin kay Julie. Binalikan sya nito na nakangiti at natatawa pa rin. âBaliw talaga iyong sina Ash at Kevin, kinunan ba naman ng video si Zen na lasing at sumasayaw at inupload pa sa facebook.â
âOkay lang iyon.â
âIsa ka pa. O, ano tapos ka nang kumain? Magliligpit na ako.â
âPinapaalis mo na ako?â
âActually, kanina pa kasi tapos iyong party. Buti nga pinakain pa kita âno.â
âDapat lang âno. I planned all of this. I made your party happen.â
âYeah, but you werenât here.â sabi ni Julie. Saka na sya nagsimulang magligpit.Tumahimik na lang si Elmo at pinanood si Julie habang nililigpit ang pinagkainan nya. Huminga sya nang malalim.
âJul.â
Nilingon sya nito. âOh.â
âUhm. Thereâs something I need to tell you.â
âAno iyon?â
âMoe!â Sabay silang napalingon at nakita si Alice. Ngumiti ito kay Julie. âHappy birthday, Julie.â
âAlice.â Nilapitan sila nito. âThank you.â
âIâm so sorry to come here uninvited. Jeth told me youâre here, Moe,âŠcan we talk?â sabi nito kay Elmo. âPlease?â
Umalis si Elmo kasama si Alice nang walang sinasabi habang si Julie namaây tahimik na naghuhugas ng pinggan sa may kusina kasama sina Ash at Kevin.
âDiba si ex number two iyon?â si Ash. âIyong pinakamatagal?â
âHm-hm.â sagot ni Julie.
âAno naman kayang kailangan nun?â
âBaka makikipagbalikan.â si Kevin.
âMalamang.â mahinang sinikuhan ni Ashley si Julie para agawin ang atensyon nito mula sa mga pinggan. âUy.â
âAno?â
âAno masasabi mo? Okay lang sa iyo?â
âNa alin?â
âNa maging sila ulit. Diba sa lahat ng mga ex ni Moe, iyon ang pinaka-ayaw mo?â
âGrabe ka Ashley, di naman sa ayaw. Hindi lang kami naging close.â
âTse! Hindi ka naman talaga naging close sa kahit sinong naging girlfriend nun e. E di torture sa iyon everyday.â
âTigilan mo nga ako, Ash. Wala nang feelings, okay? Moved na ako. Nakausad na. Open na ulit ang heart ko for somebody else!â
âWeh! Iyan na iyan ang saktong sinasabi ng mga taong hindi pa nakakapag-move on. Sabihin mo na kasi sa kanya, mas mapapadali iyan promise.â
âAyoko nga âno. Isa pa, matagal na iyon. Kung may feelings pa ako hanggang ngayon, hindi na tulad ng dati. Malay mo, bukas, wala na talaga as in wala na.â
âAt kelan pa nangyaring mawala ang feelings mo over night???â
âMalay natin.â
âNo. Never âno. hay nako, bahala ka na nga.â
Hindi na bumalik si Elmo sa apartment ni Julie hanggang sa makaalis na sina Ash at Kevin. Itâs almost 2:00 am pero gising na gising pa rin ang diwa ni Julie at dahil hindi talaga sya makatulog ay binuksan na lang nya ang TV at nanood ng movie habang inuubos ang ice cream na natira sa ref nya.
Nawili na sya sa panonood ng isa sa mga favorite nyang pelikula nang biglang mag-ring ang phone nya. Pangalan ni Elmo ang lumitaw sa screen. Sinagot nya iyon kaagad.
âOh, Moe.â
âBakit gising ka pa?â
âE bakit ikaw gising pa.â
âI canât sleep.â
âSame here.â
âAre you eating?â
âIce cream lang. Sayang e.â
âMay ice cream ka pa pala di mo mang lang ako pinakain kanina.â
âYou donât like ice cream.â
âI do, sometimes.â
âOh, baât napatawag ka?â
âWala lang.â
âAnongâŠnangyari sa inyo ni Alice.â
âAh.. wala iyon.â
âKwento dali.â
âYou donât want to know.â
âOf course, I do.â
Julie heard how Elmo took a deep sigh. âShe ahâŠshe said she missed me. And uhm, she wants us to be friends again.â
âAt narealize lang ya iyon bigla kanina? At napasugod pa talaga sya rito ah.â
âSheâs leaving this morning, magbabakasyon sya sa States and she saidâŠpagbalik nya.. she wants us toâŠtry.â
âTry what?â
âTo start over.â
âOhhh. I see. So in short, nakikipagbalikan.â
âParang ganun na nga.â
âSo, ano sabi mo?â
âWhat do think I told her?â
âI donât know. You still have her pictures on your phone, minsan tsine-check mo pa rin iyong facebook account nya and may times din na nakikita ko name nya sa inbox mo. Gusto mo pa rin siguro sya âno. Pumayag ka siguro.â
Matagal na hindi sumagot si Elmo at nanahimik lang sa kabilang linya. And when he spoke again, he suddenly changed the subject. âYou never told me you broke up with that guy.â
âSino? Kay Percy?â
âYeah.â
âI already told you. Ikaw nga una ko sinabihan e.â
âWell, sinabi mong narealize mo na hindi mo pala sya gusto, and that nabigla ka lang nung sinagot mo sya. You were never in love with him.â
âThatâs the reason.â
âBut why?â
âWhy what?â
âHave you really never fallen in love with someone?â
Si Julie naman ang natahimik. She didnât expect na itatanong iyon ni Elmo. And she didnât even expect na magkakaroon sila ng ganung klaseng paguusap. Itâs too serious and deep for both of them. They donât normally talk about each otherâs love lives.
âUhmâŠonce, I guess.â
âSino?â
âMatagal na iyon, wala na iyon.â
âSino nga?â
âBasta. Wag ka na nga makulit.â
âThen what happened?â
âNothing. Nothing happened. It wasâŠI donât knowâŠone-sided, I guess.â
âAnd you never told him? Teka, kilala ko ba iyan? Baka si Kevin yan. O kaya si Jeth.â
âSira! Hindi âno. Basta. Yeah, I didnât tell him.â
âWhy?â
âWala lang.â
âBakit nga?â
âBakit baa ng kulit mo. Baât mo ba tinatanong?â
âKelan iyan? Yan ba iyong times na, âdi ako nagpaparamdam sa iyo?â
Natawa si Julie at halos mailuwa ang kinakain na ice cream. âAno?!â
âYou know what I mean. Iyong mga times na..I was so busy with my life and other stuff.â
âGanun ka pa rin naman ngayon ah. Actually, parehas lang tayo. And I donât know, I canât remember kung kelan iyon nangyari.â
âHow did you it was one-sided?â
âDuh. Mararamdaman mo naman kung walang feelings sa iyo iyong isang tao âno.â
âWhat if meron pero di lang din nya sinabi?â
âWellâŠewan, baka hindi lang meant to be.â
âWhat if, one day, bigla syang babalik sa buhay mo and he will tell you he fell in love with you, too, anong magiging reaction mo.â
âDepende.â
âDepende saan?â
âDepende kung,,,mahal ko pa rin sya.â
âBakit, mahal mo pa rin ba?â
Napabuntong-hininga si Julie at tinitigan ang TV screen at saka sya ngumiti. âSiguro. Konti. Oo.â
And there was a moment of awkward silence. Mula sa kabilang linyaây naririnig ni Elmo ang sounds ng palabas na pinapanood ni Julie. âFlipped.â Sambit ni Elmo. âYouâre watching Flipped.â
âYep.â
âIâve seen that movie twice, I canât believe it.â
Natawa si Julie. âMaganda naman ah.â
âYou made me watch that, remember?â
âDi naman kita pinilit.â
âJulie?â
âHm?â
âWhat time is it?â Sinilip ni Julie ang alarm clock sa tabi ng bed nya. âTwo-fifteen.â
âTapos na birthday mo.â
âYeah.â
âAnd I just lost my chance, again.â
âHa? Anong chance?â
âCould you do me a favor?â
âAno na naman. Pinalipas mo lang ung birthday ko ah, magsisimula na naman iyang mga pabor mo.â
âIba âto.â
âAno nga.â
âLabas ka muna.â
âSaan?â
âDito sa labas ng apartment mo.â
âBakit???â
âBecause Iâm here.â
Paglabas ni Julie sa apartment nyaât wala roon si Elmo. Tahimik ang buong koridor at medyo madilim. Mula sa third floor ay bumaba syaây lumabas ng building, patungo sa may open lot kung saan naka-park ang ilang kotse ng mga nakatira sa gusaling iyon. Maliwanag sa parking lot at kaagad nyang natanaw si Moe na nakasandal sa lumang kotse nito.
Lumapit sya sa binata. âKanina ka pa dyan? Anong drama mo?â natatawang tanong ni Julie.
âDi naman. Mga thirty minutes.â
âE baât dito ka tumambay? Kumatok ka sana.â
âI didnât want to wake you up.â Tumabi si Julie sa kanyaât sumandal din ito sa kotse.
âHindi pa nga ako nakakatulog e. Pagod na pagod na ako pero ewan ko ba.â
âBaka naman because your brain is still too busy getting rid of me.â
Natawa si Julie. âBaka nga, âno? Whew, ang hangin dito ah.â
Pagdakaây binuksan ni Elmo ang pinto ng kotse sa may backseat at may inilabas na malilit na garapon. âHere.â
âOh my gosh!â Kinuha ni Julie ang garapon na may lamang tatlong alitaptap.
âBelated happy birthday.â
âWha-, teka san mo galing tong mga alitaptap?â
âSa likod ng bahay ni Jeth, di ko alam baât ang daming alitaptap dun.â
âE baât 3 lang?â
âWow, ang appreciative mo talaga e âno. Kapag kinulong ang mga alitaptap sa garapon, mamamatay sila agad, tatlo lang iyong kaya kong isakripisyo para sa iyo.â
Napangiti si Julie. âThank you ah.â
âNakabawi na ba âko sa di ko pagsipot sa party mo?â
âHmm⊠medyo.â
âMedyo lang? Those are freakinâ fireflies! Ako pa nanghuli ng mga iyan ah. Tapos medyo lang?â
âAt least kahit papaano.â
âHay grabe. O eto, siguro naman dito makakabawi na ako.â At bago pa man makapagtanong si Julie ay muling may kinuha si Elmo mula sa kotse nya at napatili si Julie nang ipakita ito ng binata kanya.
âOMG!!!â tili nya.
âHuy! Tulog na mga tao, volume ng boses mo.â
PInahawak muna ni Julie ang garapon kay Elmo saka nya kinuha ang karga nitong puting Japanese spitz. âAwwâŠoh my gosh. Sa âkin na âto?â Tumango si Elmo. Then Julie saw the dog tag tied around the puppyâs neck with the name, WACKY.
âHi, Wacky!â At saka niya ito nilaro-laro at niyakap nang ilang ulit. âOh my gosh, heâs so duper cute!â
âOh ano, nakabawi na?â Julie looked at him swearing the happiest and sweetest smile heâs ever seen.
âBawing-bawi na.â
âSus. Aso lang pala katapat mo e.â
âTse!â
âHuwag mo naming panggigilan, pag napilay at namatay iyan d ko na papalitan ah.â
âMoe.â
âOh.â
Ngumiti na lang si Julie and she suddenly planted a sweet kiss on Moeâs cheek. âThanks. Sobra.â
âYeah, youâre welcome.â At saka na sya nagsimulang magseryoso ng mukha. âCan I ask you something? And I want a really serious answer. An honest answer. A blunt answer, if it has to be.â
âWhat is it?â
âDo you hate me?â
âNo.â
âSo if you donât hate me, you like me.â
âOo naman. Weâre friends, weâre supposed to like each other even if we donât want to.â
âSo if you like meâŠâ Moe took a long  pause and stared at Julieâs pretty face. âYou love me. Right?â
Nagkibit-balikat si Julie. âIs it possible not to love someone you like?â
âYeah?â
âAno ba talaga iyong tanong mo? Na-o-awkwardan na ako sa iyo ah.â
âHave you everâŠyou knowâŠfelt..somethingâŠweirdâŠalam mo na.â
âHa???â Natawa si Julie pero thereâs something inside her na kinakabahan na. Moe hasnât been like this for a long time. No, actually Moe has never been like this before. Everything about him at the moment is strange and Julie canât figure out whatâs happening to him.
âHave you ever felt something for me before?â Then Elmo finally dropped THE question. Muntik nang mabitawan ni Julie si Wacky sa gulat nya.
âWhat?!â
âIâm serious.â
âAno bang-â
âYou never said no to me, sa lahat ng mga hiningi kong pabor sa iyo, you never said no. Youâre always there for me, even when Iâm being so annoying and cold and rude and arrogant. Iâm always flirting with you kahit na nung times na may girlfriend ako but you didnât stay away.â
âBecause youâre my friend-â
âBut everything I did, we did, we made each other feel⊠normal friends donât that. Normal friends donât hold each other hands like we do, they donât stare at each otherâs eyes like we do, they donât talk to each other like we do. Weâre not just friends, weâre more.â
Napaawang na lang ng bibig si Julie at hindi na nya kayang ialis ang pagkakatitig nya kay Elmo. For six years, sheâd never thought those words will come out from his mouth. For six years, all she got from him were mixed signals, flirtations, and unrequited feelings.
âHave you never felt that? ThatâŠyouâre possibly in love with me? That I might be in love with you?â
Julie shut her eyes for a few seconds and then took a very deep breath. She looked away and then stared at Elmo again. âI have. Actually, I have. Actually, ang totoo nyanâŠI was in love with you. And it started when you were too busy with your life and other stuff. Nagpaparamdam man o hindi, nagtetext o tumatawag ka man o hindi, sumusulpot ka man o hindi, naalala mo man ako o hindi, my feelings stayed the same. They got even worse, I think. They got deeper. But so what? Itâs not that important, anyway-â
âNot important? Seriously?â
âOo bakit, ngayong alam mo na, ano? Ano gagawin mo?â tanong ni Julie. âIt happens, itâs inevitable, friends develop feelings for each other but it doesnât mean na-â
âIâm in love with you.â Julie stopped talking and looked at Elmo. Those words echoed in her head over and over again and she couldnât move. She couldnât even feel Wacky in her arms anymore. Her body has become numb and her heart could explode any moment. âAt hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. And it already makes me feel stupid. I was planning to tell you sooner pero I canât. The fear of saying it, and admitting it,..it kind of breaks me. And you know me well. I hate the things that break me. But what can I do? I couldnât do it anymore. So right now, Iâm doing it. Between my fear and you, I chose you.â
Julie tried to grasp for breath at hindi nya  mapigilang mapahawak nang mahigpit kay Wacky. She looked down and watched the 3 fireflies flying around the jar trying to find a way out. She secretly smiled. âOh my gosh..â mahinang sambit ni Julie
âYou donât have to say anything. Iâm just gonna go-â
âThose firefliesâŠparang ako lang.â biglang sambit ni Julie. âCaught up in a huge jar of feelings that I had and still have for you.â Hindi sya nakatingin kay Elmo at nakatitig lang sa garapon na hawak ng binata. âNever stopped trying to find a way to escape, to get out. KasiâŠ.nasu-suffocate na ako e, ang hirap nang huminga. Ang tagal, ang tagal ko ring nakakulong. And Iâve never felt so relieved when I finally got out.â
Pagtingin nya kay Elmoây ito naman ang nakayuko at nakatingin sa baba. Tumango-tango ito at tila naunawaan na ang gustong sabihin ni Julie. âI get it.â He tried to sigh the heaviness away but it was too difficult. He smiled at Julie. âSorry.â
âPaasa ka kasi e. E kung umamin sa akin agad, di sana ako nahirapan ng ganon.â
âFor the record, I wasnât aware that I was falling in love with you. Nung na-realize koâŠyou wereâŠyou were already too close to me. And I thought kung sasabihin ko sa iyo, I might lose you and our friendship. I canât lose both.â
Unti-unti nang gumaan ang pakiramdam ni Julie at napangiti na sya kay Elmo. âSoâŠikaw pala ang in love sa âkin. I was right.â
âTse.â Sagot ni Moe. âWhew. That was awkward. Oh.â Saka na nito binigay kay Julie ang garapon. âSa iyo na iyang mga alitaptap mo at iyang aso mo. Uwi na ako.â
âSoâŠtapos na speech mo?â
âReally? Pumasok ka na nga sa bahay mo at matulog. I knew it. I shouldnât have told you, you will definitely use it against me.â
âTeka lang.â
âAno na naman.â
âAko rin may speech, di pa nga tapos e.â
Nakahawak na sa nakabukas na pinto ng kotse nya si Elmo pero hindi pa sya makasakay dahil kay Julie. âNiloloko mo na lang ako e.â
âIyong feelings ko para sa iyoâŠhindi ako pinatahimik, hindi ako pinapatulog nang maayos minsan, hindi ako pinapakain nang matino minsan. And whenever youâre around, hindi moa lam, sobra kong pinipilit na hindi ipahalata. Dahil kung may takot ka, meron din ako. I used to hope n asana isang araw, you will walk to my door and tell me na you feel the same. I used to wait for the moment when you would realize I am more than what you see. I used toâŠdream about us, being more than friends. Until I got exhausted and everything felt pointless. Alam mo bang, sinubukan kong mag-move on sa iyo without eliminating your existence from my life and imagine how hard that was for me. Trying to unlove you while being with you. Pero nagawa ko, or at least I thought I did. Kaya lang, sablay e.â Julie tried to hold back her tears while smiling at him. I even came to the point when I was so angry at myself and I kept on askingâŠhanggang kelan ba âto? How long will I have to secretly love you? How long will I have to bear hiding this feelings na hindi ko kayang sabihin sa iyo? How long will I have these stupid butterflies? I guessâŠas long asâŠI donât really know. Well⊠ayaw talaga maalis e.
Umiwas ng tingin si Elmo at hindi na naitago ang mga ngiti. He closed the door of the car and turned to Julie again. âSo, youâre saying?â
Nagkibit-balikat si Julie. Well siguroâŠbetween my fear and youâŠIâm finally choosing you, too.â
 ENDâŠâŠ..
Isa nanamang magandang dahilan para sabihin kong isa akong proud supporter (adik/faney) ng nagiisang Julie Anne San Jose! Congratulations on this great achievement. Isang patunay lang na "best things come to those who work their asses off and never give up" Keep it up mi love! đđđđđ đ· myjaps twitter account
Paralysis
Disabled
Impaired
I stand with slow thoughts, slow emotions
Settle down
Shift positions
Cold and helplessly breathing
With nothing left to hold
Julie Anne San Jose (@julieannesanjoseofficial) is definitely not your average kind of girl and undeniably one of the most talented girls of her generation. Julie Anne San Jose at the #LuckyChinatownCNY2016 event last 07Feb2016.
Wonderwall
âYes?â
Elmo asked her as he smirked.
Julie blinked at him with confusion. âHuh?â
The two of them were sitting next to each other in the library of her college. It was already four in the afternoon and her last class just ended while Elmoâs classes were all scheduled in the morning so they agreed to meet up at the library where he had been waiting for a few hours until her classes were over. He was reading a book when she arrived and they decided to stay for another hour so she could also get a few homeworks done as early as possible.
A few minutes into writing though, her thoughts wandered from her history paper to Elmo as her gaze suddenly landed upon his face and they stayed there until he finally looked up to her and caught her eyes.
His smirk then turned into a full blown smile and laughed softly. âWhy are you staring at me?â
âAm not!â She countered rather defensively.
âAre too,â he answered right back. Then that oh so familiar smirk returned again. âGwapo ko ba?â
âWhatever,â Julie said, rolling her eyes.
She actually wanted to say yes but refrained from doing so to prevent inflating his already large ego. She was guilty anyway, so she just surrendered to avoid prolonging an argument that she knew herself she couldnât win.
She has been doing that a lot latelyâjust staring at Elmo. Sometimes intentionally, but most of the time she just usually found herself staring at him for so long like he held all the questions of the world. And maybe he did, at least of her world. She just couldnât help it and itâs not just because of how good looking he was, but also of how Elmo was very patient and passionate with her.
He chuckled smugly, knowing that he just won. There was another teasing looking on his face before he spoke again. âSagutin mo na kasi ako. Para hindi ka lang puro titig sa akin ng ganyan.â
âGanyan?â Julie repeated, a frown settled on her forehead.
âGanyan,â he shrugged. Elmo glanced at her then went back to the book he was reading before she came in and sat on his side, smiling knowingly. âParang gusto mo âkong halikan.â
Julie blushed furiously but tried to hide it by laughing as quietly as she could and smacking him on the shoulder. âSira ka talaga!â
âSige na kasi,â he teased further as he feigned a hurt expression while rubbing his shoulder.
âAno? Sige na, sagutin na kita?â She whispered mockingly as she went along with his playfulness, leaning forward to him thinking it would make him uncomfortable.
As it turned out, she was wrong because Elmo leaned closer into her, his breath touching the corner of her lips. Then he answered seductively, âHindi. Pa-kiss naman.â
The move obviously caught her off guard, her face heating and red. She moved away from him as fast as she could, afraid that he would hear how fast her heart was beating from his proximity.
âHay nako. Ewan ko sa'yo, Magalona!â
Elmo had been courting Julie for almost a year now but she had been adamant to take things slow and he was all happy to complyâwhich she didnât exactly understood. She thought 10 months was too long for a guy to court someone and while Elmo would sometimes keep on asking for her yes, he had been really patient and understanding.
It wasnât like prolonging the courting stage was a test for Elmo; she just really had hang ups about love and relationship. It wasnât like she was cynical about these things either, she considered herself a hopeless romantic in fact. But she also was a realist. And part of her reality were a broken family and a complicated childhood. Her parents separated when she was just a kid but both had their own new families. And all of them were happy. So yes, Julie believed in true love and happy endings but she knew that not everyone was lucky enough to make it last forever. Just like how her parents werenât able to stay together.
He just shook his head lightly and was about to go back to reading when he turned to face her again. He raised an eyebrow to her, a small smile on his lips but his voice was void of any teasing when he asked. âSo bakit nga?â
He stared at her, waiting patiently for an answer, while she just stared back at him. And again, the endless clouds of thoughts started to swirl in her mind.
In the ten months that Elmo had been courting her, they had become really closeâway closer than regular friends would be but a little less than how two people in a relationship were supposed to be. Elmo had earned her friendship, her trust and her affection. Despite of the walls still up around her, Julie had actually let him in quite a little if not fully.
There was just one thing Elmo was yet to earn completely though: her heart. But he might as well was on his way to steal it from her because of the way he took care of her, the way he made her laugh, the way he made sure to call her every night and a lot more. It was just her stubborn mind that wouldnât cooperate completely.
One thing that Julie really loved about her ârelationshipâ with Elmo was that they were more like best friends who just happened to be attracted with each other. They had always been honest with each other and, most of the time, were comfortable in speaking their thoughts unfiltered. With the exception of the depth of feelings about him, she told almost everything to Elmo.
Which was why even though she was hesitant, she trusted that Elmo would give honest answers to her questions.
âIâm just wonderingâŠâ She started slowly. âWhy havenât you given up yet? Itâs been what, ten months?â
His face was blank for a moment then another small smile formed slowly on his lips. âWhy? Do you want me to give up na ba?â
âNo!â She said immediately and when she noticed that his grin got wider, she realized what her reaction just implied. She blushed for the third time that afternoon and tried to backtrack. âIâI mean I donât know. Thatâs totally up to you. Bahala ka,â trying to shrug nonchalantly but to no avail.
Just when Elmo was about to open his mouth to say something, the university bell rang indicating that administration offices were about to close, including the library, so she quickly stood up and gathered her stuff, trying hard not to look at him. She could still feel his gaze on her as he also stood up to get his books and it even made her face more heated than it already was. Julie practically ran out of the library, not waiting for Elmo, but she could hear his footsteps following closely behind her so she didnât bother to look back even until she reached his car in the lot. He still opened the door for her though which she really appreciated and as they drove to her house, she couldnât help but stare at him again.
âItâs because of that,â Elmo said, breaking the comfortable silence between them without even glancing her way.
She blinked once again at him as she was caught off guard by his random talking.
He chuckled lightly as he finally spared a look at her. âYou asked me why I havenât given up on courting you. Itâs because of that.â
âWhat?â Julie asked, dumbfounded.
âItâs because of the way you look at me every time I catch your stare,â he elaborated further. He then smiled sheepishly before adding, âI might sound conceited for saying this but I think you do want to be with me as well..â
She didnât know how to respond to that.
But Elmo continued, not waiting for her response. âYouâre just scared. Iâm not exactly sure of what, but I know youâre scared of something. And I see it every time you look at me like that. It gives me hope that one day, hopefully soon, I will finally figure out whatâs scaring you and put that fear to rest.â He gazed at her ever so softly as he spoke the last sentence gently. âThen maybe, just maybe.. Youâre going to finally be ready to be with me.â
Elmo stopped the car and she looked around, confused. Julie realized then that they just arrived in front of her house but she didnât want to go home just yet. They werenât done talking anyway. So she released her seatbelt, twisted around the passenger seat and leaned back against the car door to face him fully.
Julie tilted her head to the side as she looked at Elmo intently. âHow can you say that? You say that like you already know me so well.â
And maybe he did. Heck, thinking about it, he probably knew her better than anyone else.
Elmo released his seat belt as well, mimicking her position on the driverâs seat so now they were facing each other except he wasnât leaning against the door. He sat up straight and moved forward to her to take her hands and held them in front of their bodies.
âJulie, Iâve been courting you for ten months already. And weâve known each other for about two months before I fell for you. Of course, I do know you. I pay attention to everything about you,â he countered as he moved his thumbs slowly around her knuckles.
His answer made her smile. She knew this for a fact but she didnât realize how much he actually paid attention to all the things about her. She was touched that Elmo liked her enough to really put so much effort in getting to know her. As a child of a broken up parents, they loved her but she wasnât really given that much of attention especially when her parents married other people and started building another set of families.
Squeezing his hands and sitting up straight as well so they were now very close to each other, she decided to humor Elmo and asked what else he saw when she looked at him like âthat.â
Elmo happily obliged as he stared directly into her eyes. She could see the intensity of the emotions behind his eyes and she couldnât help but get lost in them as he spoke. âYour eyes seem full of wonder. Maybe what ifs. Iâm not really sure, I just know you but Iâm not a mind reader either. Itâs like every time I catch you looking at me intently, youâre having an internal battle with yourself. Like you were weighing the pros and cons of being with me.â He shrugged.
Julie didnât speak for a few minutes after that. She just let everything Elmo said sink in. Everything he said was on point and she couldnât have said it better herself. Because the truth was she really wanted to be with him. She wouldnât let him stick around for ten months if she didnât want him. Itâs just that every time she would think she was finally ready to give her answer, she would chicken out because of all the things running through her head.
âItâs like youâre a wonder wall to me,â she just blurted out. She said it so softly she was kinda surprised that Elmo still caught it, just proving that he really paid attention to her.
âWonder wall,â he repeated as he pondered on the word. âI kinda love and hate the idea of that,â he smiled at him though there was a crease on his forehead that indicated his confusion.
She shrugged as she looked away. Then she added, âWell, we both know I still have these proverbial walls up around me that make it hard for you to figure me out at times.â
âYeah..â He agreed, laughing lightly at her defensive tone.
She couldnât help but smile at how Elmo could be really accepting of her flaws. She let go of his hands though and put a little space between them so she could think straight. His warmth and proximity had been very distracting to her and she wanted to try to finally open up to him completely.
She then proceeded to reminisce and told him something she had never shared with him before. âI have this white wall in our old houseâs backyard before we moved. And when I was younger, I would sit in front of it, especially when my parents would fight, and I would stare at it for so long. Just thinking and imagining a lot of stuff. Sometimes I would draw or write on it but only inside my head because I wasnât allowed to vandalize our own property. But that wall helped me figure things out.â
Julie remembered those times. Her parents would start talking calmly but there was always that underlying tension around them then their voices would raise on each other. Before they even get to the shouting and screaming at each other part, she would escape the house to the backyard. A few feet across their houseâs white wall, there was a big tree that had been there even before she was born. She would sit under its shade and Julie would just stare at the wall, waiting for the shouting to die down. As she waited, her thoughts would wander and she would imagine a different kind of home where her parents never fought. They loved her so much and never neglected her even when they broke up but she still wished they were able to work through their marriage for her sake. Whose child wouldnât want their parents to stay with each other and grow old together, right?
Going back to the present, she stared at Elmo for the nth time that afternoon as she went on.
âAnd sometimes, I canât help but look at you through those walls. Iâve always wondered how it would feel to finally break them down and just let you in,â Julie explained, reaching out again for his hand and she held it with both of hers. âI wonder about the things you could make me feel; the things that I could make you feel. I wonder about the endless possibilities and the amazing adventures I could have with you. I wonder how it would feel like to be with you.â She smiled every time that thought would cross her mind. But it also faded as a frown appeared between her eyebrows. âBut I also ask myself if Iâm finally ready to give my heart out fully. If I can finally be vulnerable to someone like that. Iâm scared to give someone the power to hurt me. Honestly, Iâm scared of being hurt,â she finally confessed her fears.
Elmo smiled and tried to assure and comfort her. But she saw an ache in his eyes. âSo what youâre trying to say is that youâre scared of giving your heart out to me?â He asked hesitantly as if heâs almost afraid to hear her answer.
He probably knew that as much as he wanted to put that fear to rest, he couldnât do anything about it really because it was out of his control. It was going to be all up to her. And knowing Elmo, he would want to fix everything for her.
âNo,â Julie assured him. And even though it scared the shit out of her, she finally admitted, âIâm.. Iâm scared of you handing it back to me.â
She saw how that little confession affected Elmo ultimately. The ache in his eyes was immediately replaced by so much hope that even when he wasnât smiling anymore, his eyes were definitely twinkling.
âBut you do want to be with me, right?â
Because she realized now that itâs time for her to fix everything herself. Thereâs this boy who had been patiently waiting for her, and though he had already waited for ten months, she also knew Elmo wasnât going to wait forever. He was eventually going to get tired of hanging around even if he didnât want to and he was going to be her âthe one that got awayâ. And she didnât want that to happen. Elmo had done everything for her and now itâs her turn to do everything for him because he deserved it.
Julie had loved him from the very first time he asked her to be his girlfriend. She wasnât ready to take the risk before but now she was.
âI do.â
She was only able to whisper those two words because even though she had this newfound courage, the whole thing was still scaring her shitless. But the conviction and honesty behind them were unmistakeable as she was finally putting her heart out there. She was finally breaking the walls down, giving him the power to throw her heart away and step on it anytime but she trusted him enough to take care of it.
Of course, the ever gentle Elmo Magalona securely held her proverbial heart in his hands as that oh so familiar smirk settled upon his lips.
âYouâre looking at me again like you want to kiss me.â
And as she realized that she had also grown tired of just wondering and staring through the proverbial wall, she leaned forward to him and wrapped her hands around his neck to pull him closer, the center console of Elmoâs car between them.
âItâs because Iâm about to.â
She whispered as her lips descended to meet his.
#JuliElmoPagsusulit Answer Key
If youâre using desktop to view this document, you can click on some of the answers it will provide you the link of the where we get our answer (further evidence)
Okay, so many of you are requesting if we can post all the answer so hereâs all the answer on #JuliElmoPagsusulit
1. What is the full name of Julie and Elmoâs character in Wazak?
Answer:Â Julie Anne Capule and Elmo Montero
2. "Ano ba ka?â Who said this line and which act?Â
Answer:Â Julie, Act 1
3 .What was the last song Julie and Elmo sang on the Wazak Musical?Â
Answer: Love Story Ko
4.  What was the title of the song Cindy and Rocky sang after Cindy help Rocky to button his shirt?Â
Answer: Sanaây Laging Ganito
5. What is Cindyâs job in the play "Noli Me Tangereâ?Â
Answer: Stage Manager
6. âI know theyâre good for each other because they bring out the best in each other.â Who said this?Â
Answer: Maxene Magalona
7. When did Julie tweet, â@SuperElmo gusto mong ice cream?"Â
Answer: 8/11/2012Â
âThank you parekoy! Sana lagi kang andyan! :)â When was this a message on Elyâs whiteboard?Â
Answer: Episode 6 - July 22, 2012
9. The video below was the closest encounter of JuliElmo on stage in 2015, what is the title of the song they were singing in that opening prod?Â
Answer:Â The Edge of GloryÂ
10. When did Elmo started posting at Plurk?
Answer: 3/17/2009
11. Even though our beloved tandem had been separate for almost 2-3 years now, GMA News TVâs show "Ang Pinakaâ includes JuliElmo in one of their list of â2015: Ang Pinaka Hot na showbiz Love Teamâ. What is their rank on the said list?
Answer: 7th place
12. What was the food Tracy cooked for Joey?
Answer: Spaghetti
13. Santi and Kim were eating something before Santiâs aunt came downstairs, what was it?
Answer: Bananaque
14. What is Betoâs full name in Just One Summer
Answer: Maria Bettina âBetoâ Reyes - Salazar
15. What is the brand and model of the car used when Nyel (Elmo) and Beto (Julie) had their first date?
Answer: Jaguar, XJ
16. When did Lizzy finally made Bryan her boyfriend?
Answer: 7/24/2011
17. How many time did Julie and Elmo hold hands during âRight By My Sideâ prod?
Answer: 4 times (0:58, 1:25, 2:08 and 2:51)
18. What is the title of the song that Elmo is singing when she gave Julie a cotton candy?
Answer: Somebody
19. In one of the Party Pilipinas VOX, thereâs a skit where Elmo accidentally got shot by a gun, what was the title of the song Julie is singing while Elmo is dying in the scene.Â
Answer: Without You
20. Fill in the blank: âJulie, thank you, thank you so much dahil sobrang, uhm, marami na tayong _________ at marami na tayong naexperience ________ and uhm, excited pa akong mas ______ pang ma-experience with ___.â
Answer: pinagdaanan, together, marami, you.
21. The above video is a plug for a Party Pilipinas episode, what was the title of the supposed theme?
Answer: Party Pilipinas: Buhos
22. What is Julieâs âIkaw Na Ang Da Bestâ moment?
Answer: Ate
23. What is Elmoâs âikaw Na Ang Da Bestâ moment?
Answer: Master Rapperâs son
24. How many times did Julie and Elmo say/sing the word âkoâ (ko'y included) on âBakit Ba Ganyanâ prod in Party Pilipinas?
Answer: 10 (2:18, 2:38, 2:50, 3:23, 3:26, 3:51, 3:54, 3:56, 3:59, 4:33)
25. When did Elmo tweet: âSongs of @myjaps are #madebetter by my raps! RT if you agree!â which followed by Julieâs quote retweet: âSige na nga RT. Lol RT @SuperElmo: Songs of @myjaps are #madebetter by my raps! RT if you agree!â
Answer: 1/10/14
Thank you for participating, faneys! We hope you had fun or at least enjoy the fun little quiz we did. Until then, kita-kits sa finals ;)
-Team CIA,
kayeekulit, JE_Underground, JE_Flash and JuliElmo_101
A kind of torture
When it happens
and all you can do is watch.
Réel ou non
World spinning You grinning
Wore my heart on my sleeve Oh, a knife in my back
That sound
I wish i never heard Unforgettable Nightmare
Plea
I sing aloud, the repentance i hope you hear
yet i fear the music i ever make for you is ache
So now i sit here, staring at the wall dismal
Iâll never be the same
Jealous
When it starts in the pit of my stomach
to the top of my head, down my spine,
till every single cell of my body dwindles
Then
I fake a smile and say âIâm fineâ