Desmond Sycamore

Azran Expert, totally not on the run from the British government

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

I sense a disturbance in the force

[charity-layne]

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH! GOD IM GLAD I DONT LIVE THERE ANYMORE BUT AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

why are you lighting fIREWORKS IN THE OFFICE??????

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

I sense a disturbance in the force

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Hmmm I have a strange feeling that I’m forgetting something… something important I think is happening tomorrow but I don’t know what…. Hmmm….

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

🐌

I don’t… particularly like snails…

[attorney-george]

Um I don’t know what you wanted so I brought you this cool rock!

- @aurora-of-the-azran

Aw that's so kind of you! I love cool rocks! Thank you!

I'm glad you didn't eat this one, haha.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Awww, she gave you a rock, that means she really cares about you. She loves her rock collection so much she won’t even let me touch any of them

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Hey, is this you?

Die.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

What do you think of Charity's taste in men?

It’s certainly…. Something, that’s for sure.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

???? Hello????

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Hey Professor, I've heard you like jokes. Here's one I came up with.

What do my tic disorder and my wife have in common?

- @attorney-george

I don’t know. What do they have in common?

[attorney-george]

They both saw me and thought:

“Damn, I’ve gotta hit that.”

Get it?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Oh that’s funny!

Ooh I have a joke for you.

How is my life like French bread?

[attorney-george]

Haha, glad you like that one.

I don’t know, how *is* your life like French bread?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

It’s constant pain!

[attorney-george]

Uh...

Ha...ha...

Are you okay, pal?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

No.

[attorney-george]

Oh.

Uh.

Okay.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

I wish I knew where Charity was, she usually annoys me until I feel better

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Hey Professor, I've heard you like jokes. Here's one I came up with.

What do my tic disorder and my wife have in common?

- @attorney-george

I don’t know. What do they have in common?

[attorney-george]

They both saw me and thought:

“Damn, I’ve gotta hit that.”

Get it?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Oh that’s funny!

Ooh I have a joke for you.

How is my life like French bread?

[attorney-george]

Haha, glad you like that one.

I don’t know, how *is* your life like French bread?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

It’s constant pain!

[attorney-george]

Uh...

Ha...ha...

Are you okay, pal?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

No.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Hey Professor, I've heard you like jokes. Here's one I came up with.

What do my tic disorder and my wife have in common?

- @attorney-george

I don’t know. What do they have in common?

[attorney-george]

They both saw me and thought:

“Damn, I’ve gotta hit that.”

Get it?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Oh that’s funny!

Ooh I have a joke for you.

How is my life like French bread?

[attorney-george]

Haha, glad you like that one.

I don’t know, how *is* your life like French bread?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

It’s constant pain!

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Hey Professor, I've heard you like jokes. Here's one I came up with.

What do my tic disorder and my wife have in common?

- @attorney-george

I don’t know. What do they have in common?

[attorney-george]

They both saw me and thought:

“Damn, I’ve gotta hit that.”

Get it?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Oh that’s funny!

Ooh I have a joke for you.

How is my life like French bread?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Hey Professor, I've heard you like jokes. Here's one I came up with.

What do my tic disorder and my wife have in common?

- @attorney-george

I don’t know. What do they have in common?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

OMG DESMOND THE MOON BEAR???????

I am going to commit a felony

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Hey what happened to Charity she was supposed to be home like yesterday

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Dear Professor Sycamore,

I believe we met once, briefly. My name is Vivian George, I'm the attorney who lives in America.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I felt I had to inform you. I think your wife cheated on you with your assistant before she passed away.

I don't know any more details than that.

I'm here if you wish to talk.

All the best,

Vivian George

@attorney-george

NO I KNEW ABOUT THAT

LIV AND MRS CHARITY WERE DATING FOR A WHILE. THEY BROKE UP BECAUSE CHARITY MADE ONE TOO MANY FRENCH JOKES.

[attorney-george]

...

[attorney-george]

I see.

Please disregard my last message then.

Would you like some tea?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

That sounds nice, yes.

[attorney-george]

Well do I feel embarrassed.

Forgive me. I don’t understand these modern new relationships, however, if it’s an all around consenting situation then I don’t see anything wrong with it.

How is the family? I heard your wife and daughter...survived...dying? I’ve learned not to question these things. My friend’s son in law can see people’s secrets with a magical rock, so I suppose anything’s possible.

I hope all is well on your end.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

…Violet didn’t survive.

Olivia, my darling wife, through some miracle, was brought back.

Aurora, former Azran Emissary, is alive and breathing.

But Violet…

…

I’m doing fine, thanks for asking. Everything is fine.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

I’m sorry, I’ve said something too personal, haven’t I? Let’s just ignore that, shall we?

How is your family?

[attorney-george]

No, I shouldn’t have...

I’m so sorry.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Oh if you think that’s bad, wait until you hear what i did to my father.

…Oh shit you’re a lawyer.haha forget I said anything.

[attorney-george]

Heh, it sounds like you’ve been through enough.

Also, I’m a defence attorney. I have no legal obligation to report any crime I’m not actively involved in.

If you did do something illegal, which technically you haven’t confessed to, I’m the kind of guy you might want on your side if you ever got in hot water. Providing you had a good reason, of course. I’m not going to pry, but I’m guessing you didn’t act unmotivated.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Yeah uh… hahaha yeah I certainly had a motive.

Speaking of changing the subject, have you met Aurora?

[attorney-george]

I have indeed. She showed up out of nowhere and ate one of my teacups. She says that’s normal for her?? She wasn’t hurt, I promise. I’m more confused than anything.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Yeah she does that sometimes. She’s certainly an interesting whatever she is. And I don’t mean that in a rude way, I mean she isn’t human and we don’t know what exactly she is.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Dear Professor Sycamore,

I believe we met once, briefly. My name is Vivian George, I'm the attorney who lives in America.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I felt I had to inform you. I think your wife cheated on you with your assistant before she passed away.

I don't know any more details than that.

I'm here if you wish to talk.

All the best,

Vivian George

@attorney-george

NO I KNEW ABOUT THAT

LIV AND MRS CHARITY WERE DATING FOR A WHILE. THEY BROKE UP BECAUSE CHARITY MADE ONE TOO MANY FRENCH JOKES.

[attorney-george]

...

[attorney-george]

I see.

Please disregard my last message then.

Would you like some tea?

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

That sounds nice, yes.

[attorney-george]

Well do I feel embarrassed.

Forgive me. I don’t understand these modern new relationships, however, if it’s an all around consenting situation then I don’t see anything wrong with it.

How is the family? I heard your wife and daughter...survived...dying? I’ve learned not to question these things. My friend’s son in law can see people’s secrets with a magical rock, so I suppose anything’s possible.

I hope all is well on your end.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

…Violet didn’t survive.

Olivia, my darling wife, through some miracle, was brought back.

Aurora, former Azran Emissary, is alive and breathing.

But Violet…

…

I’m doing fine, thanks for asking. Everything is fine.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

I’m sorry, I’ve said something too personal, haven’t I? Let’s just ignore that, shall we?

How is your family?

[attorney-george]

No, I shouldn’t have...

I’m so sorry.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Oh if you think that’s bad, wait until you hear what i did to my father.

…Oh shit you’re a lawyer.haha forget I said anything.

[attorney-george]

Heh, it sounds like you’ve been through enough.

Also, I’m a defence attorney. I have no legal obligation to report any crime I’m not actively involved in.

If you did do something illegal, which technically you haven’t confessed to, I’m the kind of guy you might want on your side if you ever got in hot water. Providing you had a good reason, of course. I’m not going to pry, but I’m guessing you didn’t act unmotivated.

[breadmond-stickyfloor]

Yeah uh… hahaha yeah I certainly had a motive.

Speaking of changing the subject, have you met Aurora?