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@breakingfree2blog
I desperately need God to reveal to me my divine purpose in life because I am 40 years old and things just keep getting worse with me and I still haven't got a clue what on earth am I doing here and why in the world was I born because as of now all I'm doing is taking up space and oxygen on this planet.
Tomorrow is a defining moment in my life. Good or bad it will change things
I only ask the Lord above this morning to guide me in the direction I am supposed to go from here. I feel the seasons changing and the strength of the wind that's blowing. I am quite certain that I (in my own strength) will not be able to survive the storm that's brewing just ahead. I don't know what's coming but I can feel this intense pressure building up in the air that it is. (whatever it is) If one is to possibly be prepared for such, then the preparation is happening right now. Time is limited and I know this deep down inside. I desperately need Godly wisdon and knowledge on what am I to do? What exactly is my part in all of it or do I even have one? Rest assured that you where born for such a time as this. Change is coming. Revival is Coming. The battle is raging forward on. A BATTLE CRY, A VICTORY SHOUT just as the trumpet sounds.... 📯
At times it all feels so overwhelming. The energies in the atmosphere are draining. So much is going on in the world and so much change. there is alot of shifting taking place and its really all just too much to take in some days
I was always believed that hard work pays off eventually, that what kept me motivated for years. I eventually discovered that noone ever menrions are tells you that sometimes though it doesn't and it won't pay off for some people also.
Nobody gets it nobody understands. its just one big disaster. God why do I exist please show me something to make all of this worth it....
I have this feeling that there are some things that are shifting, I feel like things were forming the past year when everyone had to be in isolation.
a damaged mind and a broken spirit is a lethal combination... LET LOVE BACK IN
what do you do when you feel like the whole world is coming against you, what do you feel? At every angle I feel boxed in. why is there so much resistance everywhere from everyone
existing is hard, gravity is painful.. why must it be this way
It's all too hard, I try but I simply can't do this own my own in my own strength. I never imagined anything could ever be this hard in life that it seems impossible. Never did I think I myself to ever be this weak. It all just feels so helpless these days.
I look in the mirror this morning while brushing my teeth and I can't help but think wow 40 years of life has completely broken me down. I no longer even recognize my own reflection looking back at me. I tell myself with disgust "so this is who you've become after everything, every struggle, everytime you wanted to give up but kept fighting. For what? Is this the final result of it all? how depressing"
it's the start of another day in paradise. I can tell you I that I never would have imagined at age 40 years old that I would be with with no job no vehicle no money and a lot of health issues. I used to work hard and believed in one day that it would all pay off I used to manage apartment properties I managed an industrial cleanup service I always shot for the top because I believed in promotion and continual education. At age 22 the sky was the limit and I felt like anything could be possible but this definitely did not come to mind right here, right now.
on the other side of this moment right now is more than I could ever think and better than I could ever imagine...
I can always find a slight shock to the numbness of everyday life with a sense of existance having some kind of meaning when I search for and watch documentaries of the middle east. America has lost it's way because we have become distracted with the superficial things of this world.