A tangled mess of malfunctions.

My psychiatrist needed a vacation

[bren-krasmer]

This is probably one of the dumbest, best, silly things I've ever made.

A scale mail tie.

[bren-krasmer]

I like drawing. The act of using my hands and a series of tools to bring into existence an image that has spawned from my own head and has not been seen by the eyes of others until I have committed it to existence is... To put it simply... Satisfying.

Drawing is also the most stressful act I have ever brought upon myself. Just... Every imperfect line, every potential slip of my fingers, every little negative fleeting thought weighs on me.

And the closer to complete my drawing is, the more I worry. Especially if someone can potentially look over my shoulder and point out a flaw. Or question why I'm doing something.

This has led me to being unable to complete anything, despite my deepest desire to do so.

[pukicho]

Behold this

[bren-krasmer]

Ah yes... Unbaked bread.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

What is your opinion on inflatable pillows?

when i was 16 i was obsessed with building and designing my own home. i watched youtube videos about laying the concrete foundation and layman’s guide to blueprints and how to hang a suspended ceiling with fancy ass moulding. idk i was a teenager, it made me feel in control.

the thing is, i was also super duper into inflatable furniture. this was a better day and age when pinterest didn’t exist, but i had folders and folders of pictures saved with examples of the wonderful, incredibly comfortable and presumably bounceable furniture that would fill my future home. 

the problem was even at 16 i had pretensions tastes. now most inflatable furniture is neon and filled w/ glittery, right? like this stuff. 

which is wonderful and extremely tasteful and even years later i would love to have a house like that. sadly, at the time i was obsessed with being a fancy mature adult, so instead i chose the most depressing suburban monochrome mcmansion version of inflatable furniture possible. this is one of the few true shames i still carry regarding my teenage years. 

i had a data loss so i don’t have any of the concept art from all those years ago, but here’s a quick moodboard of the glass-and-chrome greyscale hollywood mansion buffoonery i would have locked myself away in by choice at age 16 if it had been up to me: 

none of it’s even neon. what a fucking embarrassment 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

in my defense I would have inevitably covered them in glitter stickers which i maintain would have been sick as all fuckery

[bren-krasmer]

The Gaud has a point. This is by far the most modular thing in furniture ever. Sitting at home alone? Get one chair out.

Preparing for guests? Get the air pump and the good couch out.

[bren-krasmer]

For some reason, this came to mind. And I'm a preface this with a mild trigger warning, as I am ashamed of this part of my history, and I'm airing dirty laundry.

It amazes me to this day, how tastes change, and how quickly it feels that things that were once "edgy" become unacceptable. Completely bypassing "cringe" in that trajectory.

I used to play Magic the Gathering in high school. Cringe at the time but that was how I was. Half of my alphabet soup of neuroduvergences were undiagnosed at the time. I accepted cringe. MtG let me delve into Edge.

I had a card called "Kiss of death". Deal 4 damage and gain life for the amount dealt. This is near 2 decades ago... So keep that in mind when I say, whenever I played that card, edgelord me said "I rape your face for 4".

I now know that this is unacceptable. That was deplorable. But I can only say these things now with growth. That joke I made is near old enough to sign up for military duty. I was a shit back then. Who wasn't a shit compared to who they are now?

Long story short? There should be a conscious agreement for... Some level of statute of limitations for Internet posts. I hate seeing people dragged through the mud for 10 year old posts, at least without someone positing to the poster "remember that? How do you feel about this piece of your history?"

I want to be able to say "that was said by some version of me that didn't understand the world. Ask me back then and I'd have some defense. But you and I are here now. I don't stand by that joke. I strive to be better than that."

That's what I feel is the best kind of person. To only be better than what you once were. To know better and be better.

So please. If you got here? Don't ever compare you to anyone else. Look back ten years at yourself. If you can say "yeah. I'm better than that little puke." You're all I can ask you for in this world.

[bren-krasmer]

I've been slated as the "forever gm" in my friend circle. Everyone wants to play D&D but nobody really has the chops to lead the tale. I'm fine with this, but I have so many characters I want to play out as a player.

I want to play a Bard, who's only following the party because he knows they'll do some great things and wants to be the first to tell their tale.

I want to play a barbarian. He's actually a pretty smart guy, but was enrolled in a private school among super smart kids. He now has anger issues and has learned to use it.

A warlock... Y'know, someone whose soul was sold to some otherworldly being for great power? Only... He didn't do the sale. No, his dad made a bloodline pact.

A cleric that doesn't worship any god. He believes in them and thanks them when appropriate for minor miracles he percieves. But he just finds them all too 'hands off' for being the supposed all-powerful beings that they're touted to be.

I also still want to team up with a player and make a tag-team luchador monk combo.

[bren-krasmer]

There is nothing like being a storyteller, a good one, and watching a series just good enough to the point where the bad points and inconsistcies stick out.

You want to re write. Fix plot holes. Point out how things went wrong for a bad episode. Heck, put foreshadowing in episodes earlier about events in later arcs. Blather on and put a fine point on failings.

This is a natural urge. I'm guilty of it. But I focus my ramblings to my roommate who is of the same mindset of wanting better of his media.

But this is the point the whole post is coming to: I can come up with better than release only after release. Most productions have a linear progression in that production. In a TV show, foreshadowing that would be so good in episode 4 for events happening episode 15 sometimes don't have a chance to exist. Episode 15 may be being written while episode 8 was out.

I'll hark on about how awesome my version might have been. But I won't blame production companies or small teams for not going to the fullest as I think it should have been. There are limitations. Always. Time is a major one. Don't blame the show runners, unless they really step in it.

But take that energy, find your own outlet. Write a fan AU. Make a spin off series. Heck, I take that energy and run D&D games. This all builds, gives inspiration to others to do more.

But hating on a production because it doesn't fit your version of the "best possible rendition" kills the muse in others. Heck, sometimes just saying "I want to see you go this way with it" will pull the wind out. So be careful out there.

We artists are sensitive.

[bren-krasmer]

Recently someone reminded me of the threat that English teachers levied on all students. The words may be different but all have the same cadence of "I can tell when you haven't put in the time I expect for the work I assign"

I... BS'd my way through poetry? Like... To a degree I haven't heard touched. I literally wrote half of my homework poems during the time between when the teacher declared "I'm collecting your homework" and the time he got to my desk.

This taught me two things: A) shit ain't as hard as people make it out to be if you know what you're doing. B) people in authority tend to know less about their subject matter than they claim

It has been decades since this learning experience. I am still unsure whether or not these lessons are blessings or curses.

[bren-krasmer]

I am fascinated by my body sometimes, and just how strange certain malfunctions can manifest.

I ate something that didn't quite agree with me. Not in a fully argumentative way that caused immediate eviction. But I could, from that moment onward, track its progress through my GI tract with precision.

It's a fascinating process to feel and experience. Even though I hate every second of it.

[bren-krasmer]

Have you ever written a multi paragraph comment 9n anything and then said to yourself "Wait... I'm not adding anything to the discussion being had" and deleted it?

I just finished doing that. Somehow a few words about using "princess" to a young child ballooned into a whole thing in my head. Where I was the one boy... And never was the exemplar in anything. The Cinderella of my generation in the family.

The. I found video games and... Excelled. But the meaninglessness was beaten into me to the point where I turned down being scouted for a team in an arcade once.

It's been 20 years, and somehow, it took something completely different to raise the aged bile back up.

For the record? Don't call random kids any regal title. Save that stuff for the people who have real meaning in your life. It's just weird, and puts a pressure on the person to be 'proper' around you.

[bren-krasmer]

My girlfriend... Recently admitted to me that... Okay... Lete break shit down.

A) she admitted to being trans while drunk to her mother.

B) she purposely got drunk to have courage to admit A.

C) she admitted both the above to her mom the other day. Despite A and B being WAY in the past.

D) the fact that C came to light made her mother change tones, from a jovial "you're serious?" To a rationalizing "you're serious."

I am... Confused beyond belief. There is shit I would never admit to my mom. Even core aspects of my identity, that I would avoid drunkenness around her to avoid accidentally spilling. My mom... Was in so many ways good. But in so many ways bad...

I cannot feel equivalent to my gf's plight. Because some aspects she faces are far more difficult than mine. Even professionally, poo can rocket fanward with the speed of an ICBM.

But... I can never be part of that plight. But somehow, I still feel guilty about my identity for my own family. I get... My mom never wanted me to be [x]. Cool. Never had an expectation to live up to. But I was never a [y]. I had expectation to fulfil. And I wasn't that. And I suffered because... I was never prepared.

Hell. I'm still being held to some standards of self identity I had when I was 10 by my mother. It's been 20 years... I've been through a lot. Maybe I don't want to be a daddy anymore? I dunno.

This was a wild ramble on Tumblr. Thank you for sticking with me so far. I don't want help, appreciation, advice... All I'm hoping for is.: Someone to tell me I'm not unfounded in feeling... Odd. Maybe not right, cool. But, can someone help me know why I feel like I do?

[itsapmseymour]

Behold, the last Cosmic Wonders OC!

Kael’Thal,

The Dad Bod Orc Bard

[thekidwhotried]

make a goddamn planetary universe where every popular planet is humanized 👏get👏on👏this👏shit👏

[itsapmseymour]

Listen. As much as I’d love that, I have 15+ characters to keep track of already, and some OCs I already discarded because I wasnt able to think of anything for em. I am not capable enough to add more people to this. (And I can already predict someone is gonna say “Oh only 15, that’s cute”, and I’mma say, not the time or mood for that)

[bren-krasmer]

As someone who's made enough OCs over the years to fill out a whole marching band: I can honestly appreciate the ability to discard some. It's hard to let go of any, and it's something I need to get better at.

I hope someday I can pare down to about 15.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

new abyss just dropped

[enithinggoes]

what features does it have over the old abyss?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

arcade game and library

[purple-to-my-tangerine]

The hell are you talking about

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what i said

new abyss dropped

there weren’t enough abysses so they built a new one. it has an arcade

[dracoleafrevived]

What in the fuck

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it’s called the Deep Dive Dubai, and as of a few days ago it’s the deepest swimming pool in the world! (surpassing Deepspot)

It’s a horrifying abyss of calamity luxury diving center that breaks the world record at 60m (196 feet) deep. For reference, imagine like…a 20 story apartment building. Which is what its design is based on actually—an abandoned apartment building! Fun lifelike props simulate environments you will find naturally occurring on the ocean floor (in a few centuries anyway, when the flood times come) including:

a garage (car included)

bathrooms (use is strongly frowned upon)

an underwater library (well, it’s all underwater. nice magazine collection though)

graffiti (i like the puffer fish with the shocked pikachu expression)

chess table (eh)

a functional arcade

yeah, i wasn’t kidding about the arcade.

they’ve got foosball and even……pool.

ko-fi

[galladegamer]

ok, but does it actually have an arcade machine

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it has Pac-Man and Street Fighters II!

[fanfiction-artist-prototype]

I thought this was a hyper-realistic video game render my brain feels like it’s going to melt.

I- I do not dislike this but it feels wrong and I honestly feel like it’s so close to uncanny valley that I can’t tell if this is one of your ‘ha I wonder if i can trick tumblr’ posts or something real

edit: So I looked it up, it’s real. What the fuck

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok but if you want something that looks like a poorly rendered video game, i recommend the second deepest swimming pool in the world, aka:

DEEPSPOT

located in Poland for some reason, it goes to 45m (148 ft) deep. Like Deep Dive Dubai, it contains an abysmal abyss of inscrutable depth a simulated blue hole (underwater sinkhole or cavern).

here is its hole :)

and yes it is absolutely designed like a video game from 2007 made by a dev team who was not especially invested in the success of their employment company

a puzzle game maybe. look there’s the playable character!

compared with the original post, you can see that abyss graphics rendering has come a long way in a few short years months! (Deepspot was built in 2020 and only held the world record for 6 months)

hopefully by setting up more and more realistic versions of their natural habitat, various leviathan cosmic entities will soon be tempted to make their nests in our dimension! same principle as bird boxes :)

ko-fi

[thatdisasterauthor]

I can’t even imagine how long it must take to fill these things up let alone drain them if they ever need to.

[callmebliss-got-swamped]

Hey OP thanks for showing us both holes

[spirit-of-science]

I had a dream that took place in Deep Spot. Even though I had never seen it before this post, just now. What does that mean?

[bren-krasmer]

Well it means you gotta go there and see how accurate your vision was.

[itsapmseymour]

Acquire The Fishy Cracker

[bren-krasmer]

For some reason, I'm imagining void kitty not eating it, just gnawing on it like a toy. And then getting sad when it goes mushy.

[bren-krasmer]

You know it's one hell of a morning when you haven't finished waking up and you already need a nap.

[tomjacksonservo]

It’s really depressing how Labor Day has gone from “give laborers a day off” to “give white collar office workers and executives a day off but make retail laborers work so that executives can get a latte on their day off”

[winjerone]

Nobody is making anyone work. If you don’t want to work on that day, don’t.

[oppa-homeless-style]

[bren-krasmer]

Good God I made that same expression with my soul when I read that reply.

[bren-krasmer]

Just had an argument with a roommate about what color a yarn he was using was. He thought it was grey, but I called it a beige.

I was amazed by how outraged he was that I called it something other than grey, it eventually devolved into him rummaging through his stock of yarn to find it again.

The product color? "Buff"