Even I don't know.

Trash blog

[boginyagroz]

the first time ilya takes shane to the club after they get married, he shaves beforehand, puts on a tight black tank top and sprays himself with his fuckboy cologne from the hookup era. shane is already horny for him even before they leave the house — crucially, he loves fuckboy ilya, because come on, he’s been fucking this man for years when he looked exactly like this.

at the club, ilya buys out the entire dj set to only play 2010s club anthems all night long. he wants to give shane the ultimate 2010s clubbing experience he never had, but also make up for all those nights ilya had to spend dancing and making out with strangers and not the one person he wanted. but now he gets to do all this with his husband! who is delightfully hard for him by the way, because shane finds sleazy club slut ilya absolutely irresistible. ilya is gripping his hips, grinding against him, licking his neck and whispering the dirtiest filth into his ear, and shane gets dizzying butterflies he imagines all those girls got back then. and he isn’t even retroactively jealous, because now his ring is on ilya’s finger, and oh god, he gets to be taken home by ilya rozanov! he gets to have all his attention now and get railed stupid by him later!! in their shared home!!! shane is living his dream life, and ilya is right there with him.

[i-know-the-enddc]

what I fucking love is how tvl was written in the 80s and lestat is constantly sayinf shit like “as the kids say 🤪 that’s so rad!!” or whatever, and to me, reader of the vampire lestat in this modern age, that does NOT register the way anne rice intended it.

like it is supposed to feel jarring and insane. it is supposed to feel like lestat has been violently submerged in modern young people trends and culture and is now repeating all the new words he learned like a beautiful fresh baby. but because the book is from 1985, all I think is oh interesting huh I didn’t know that slang term even originated in the 80s how vintage how retro how lestat wow he’s so embarrassing aw aw so cute.

but amc in all their incredible genius decided that honoring anne rice’s original vision of writing an extremely modern and weird book that fully embodied the era it was written in was more important then bringing back the 80s nostalgia thing that streaming services love and it’s incredible to me. now I get to listen to lestat say shit like “labubu FOMO cosplay reddit discord Gen Z more like gen SNOOZE 🤪🤪🤪 safe space pronouns donald trump labubu tiktok dance 🕺🏻” and suddenly I understand what it felt like to be a young anne rice reader in 1985. God…. I understand.

[chubby-cry-baby]

shane being the man™️ in their relationship is so fun!!!! he’s the one who’s had girlfriends and seen his parents healthy marriage vs ilya who’s never had either of those and yes he’s doing everything for shane but shane’s thinking of the logistics, he’s carrying bags, he’s putting ilya’s name on the cottage deed, he’s fixing things around the house, he’s picking up ilya’s gay little shirts from the dry cleaners, he’s mowing the lawn, and he’s making sure he’s holding ilya’s hand 24/7.

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Shane is fucking strong, physically and mentally, and Ilya loves that so much about Shane.

Ilya loves how Shane's tighs could crush his skull when Ilya's eating him out. Ilya loves how Shane is his solid rock, his lighthouse, his guardian angel whenever he has to make it through bad days. Ilya loves how easily Shane carries Ilyas bags for him. Ilya loves how admirably Shane faces his problems and his own fears, undeterred and with his head held high. Ilya loves that Shane can shove him around, can push him against a wall, slam him into the boards, can easily leave his marks on Ilya. Ilya loves how strongly Shane wants him, choses Ilya time and time again, how much Shane loves him and how he steadfastly shows this to Ilya and the world. Ilya loves that they can play and roughhouse together without fearing to actually hurt each other. Ilya loves how heavy and solid and comfortable Shane's weight feels against his. Ilya loves that Shane can make a stanley cup winning team out of the Centaurs by pure determination and ambition. lya loves that he can trust Shane's body being able to take him, that he can fuck Shane with reckless abandon, throw him around, crush into him with animal instinct, collaps on top of Shane with his entire weight. Ilya loves how fiercely protective Shane is of him, on and off the ice. Ilya loves that he has to actually fight against a struggling Shane to pin him down. Ilya loves his strong husband, his Shane, who lets himself only surrender to Ilya.

[mina-logan]

I needed more toxic ragebaiter Ilya in my life

[ilyashaneconnorhudson]

x

[lestatdelioncuort]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT Live at the Beacon Theater (x)

[lioncourtz]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT Live at the Beacon Theater (06.02.2026)

[medrawawi]

big baby🐥

[themoonandmyman]

Hollanov with the fattest fucking baby you’ve ever seen. They’re biting her lil arm rolls and she’s giggling like a hyena. Ilya’s carrying her on his hip with it jutted out in a pair of short shorts like an 80s mom and Shane is wearing the ugliest khaki pants available with a fanny pack full of baby wipes. and they’re all caked in sunscreen and smiling brighter than the sun that’s beating down. Baby Hollanovs First Waterpark. Are you seeing the vision I’m painting

[medrawawi]

this was a collaboration with my two little brothers because i asked them to draw a person playing hockey and a baby playing hockey and a duck playing too, then i edited it🏒

[drawballa]

Family ice time 🏒

[medrawawi]

shane and shanelings🐥🐣

[medrawawi]

😙!!

[lavenderprose]

Ilya finds an odd picture of Shane in a photo album at one point. He's maybe three, he's sitting on the massive purple sofa that Ilya has discovered the Hollanders owned when Shane was born. He's frowning, red-cheeked and he's got a strange plastic case on his thumb.

"Yuna," he says, shifting his elbows on the table to point at it. "What is this on his hand? Was broken?"

Shane's head snaps up from across the table, where he's pretending that Photo Album Time is very boring to him and not worth paying attention to. He hasn't scrolled on the article he's pretending to read for over five minutes.

"I never broke a bone as a kid," he says, brows furrowed. "Not until U13, when that fucking kid from Guelph--"

Yuna and Shane both inhale quickly through their noses in what Ilya has learned to recognize as a moderative measure, lest they start yelling about something that everyone else on Earth has forgotten about.

"No," Yuna says, once her face looks a little less intense. "No, it wasn't broken. It was this...contraption that the dentist gave us to correct his thumb-sucking. He was so mad about it, we only put it on him a few times."

"Oh, Jesus," Shane mutters, eyes going back to his phone.

"Aw," Ilya says. "Poor baby Shane." He taps his finger against one little red cheek and laughs. "You really do look so mad, sweetheart. How did you make him stop?"

"Hmm...you know, I don't remember," Yuna sighs, tilting her head. "I guess he just stopped by himself eventually. Do you remember, Shane?"

"No," Shane says, shortly.

"Of course, that didn't get rid of the oral fixation," Yuna sighs, adjusting her reading glasses as she flips the page. "The things you used to chew on, Shane. Pens and straws and--"

"Mom," Shane snaps, while Ilya vibrates beside him. "Can we not?"

"I was afraid to give him popsicles because I thought he would gnaw on the sticks until he got a splinter in his stomach."

"Mom!"

"Well, honey, it's true! And you did outgrow it eventually, so it's not as if you have to be embarrassed."

"Oh, you did?" Ilya says, shoulders shaking. "You outgrew the, uh, oral fixation?"

"Stop," Shane hisses.

"Mm. Excuse me." Ilya stands from the table and sweeps out onto the back porch, though the sliding door does nothing to prevent the sound of his guffaws from floating back into the kitchen.

"You know," Yuna says, "I'm just going to assume that this is some kind of language barrier thing--"

"Please stop."

[i-am-a-whalien]

Give me a Hollanov child that plays hockey and is a goalie.

That kid would be the greatest goalie in hockey history.

A kid that trains against point leaders Hollander and Rozanov??

That's a brick wall.

You're only scoring on them if you sacrifice 24 virgins and do 81 hail Marys.

[lexilexilexilexile]

Shane and Ilya’s daughter has to do a family tree project in class. They’ve done a great job at emphasizing to her that parents can be any two people that love each other and she understands that other kids might not know that. The rest of the project will be pretty straight forward - Shane doesn’t have any siblings and their daughter doesn’t know much about Ilya’s family at this age besides that papa has a mama that watches over them and that loves her very much. Shane is still nervous about it and having a Very Normal Shane Reaction wondering if she will feel left out for not having a mom and feeling sad that she will never know her papas family and wondering if she is lonely and if they should have another kid. When they get an email from the school asking them to come in at pickup to discuss her family tree Ilya is already angry and ready to pick a fight with whatever stupid kid is bullying their daughter for having two dads. They walk into the classroom and their daughter is standing with her arms crossed insisting that there is nothing wrong with her project and when the teacher slides it across the table they see something so bizarre that they don’t know where to start. She’s drawn on only one side of the tree - Ilya and Shane both stemming from Yuna and David. Next to them are about ten stick figures of different sizes all with hearts around them. While they’re trying to decipher what on earth she has drawn she starts presenting it with her little finger saying “see? Dad is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son and Papa is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son, too.” And then she moves her finger along with “and that’s uncle Hayden, uncle Troy and uncle Harris, uncle Evan, uncle Luca….” And as she’s naming every stick figure Shane is trying to figure out how he’s going to explain to her teacher that he is not married to one of his 10 brothers when he is actually an only child and Ilya has to turn away because he’s crying at the reminder that the family that adopted him adopted her as well and there has never been a child that has been so loved