About halfway through July, I bought a freezie on a whim. The coffee shop at an awesome hippie/artsy co-working space where I rent a desk was advertising popsicles, and I guess it was really hot that day, so even though I normally prefer savoury snacks over sweet ones, I just straight up went for it. Theyād advertised these things as āfrozen popsā but, in fact, they were artisanal freezies! The flavour was āhibiscusā -- not super legit freezie territory, but tasty all the same.
I nommed it with curiosity while walking out from the office when I started experiencing extreme tooth-freeze and began feeling a bit irritated that Iād bought this dumb freezie, until ā blammo ā muscle memory. Without thinking about it, I tipped up the end of that freezie and sucked its last sweet slurps of juice from the bottom. Jeez! It was a full-on In Search of Lost Time moment. TRANSPORTED back to childhood. Zing. I remembered simple happiness. I remembered presence in the moment. And I wanted those feelings back.
This desire is what kicked off a six-week throwback to childhood summer happiness through tiny but amazing adventures.
Youāre probably not going to truly believe this unless you try it yourself, but stepping back into my childhood shoes has been a more effective happy pill than Iāve ever found in a glass of wine or any other grown-up-appropriate relaxant. Jumping through the sprinkler, skipping over a plastic rope, blowing bubbles out of a kazoo āI actually felt stress melting off my shoulders, I felt laughs coming from places I didnāt know I could laugh from. I felt pure joy. It was just for a momentā¦ but pure joy.
And, you know, I didnāt have a perfect childhood. My early years were not an endless parade of happy times. But when I dropped into these kid moments now, during days in which Iād otherwise been adult-ing? They were freakishly powerful forces for good. Only the awesome feelings came back.
I was pretty much alone in my mission when I started this project, and that was a-okay with me. I grew up as an only child, so it was actually quite lovely and fitting to go back to those moments of play and creativity in solitude. But then the little spark of joy lit something in a few other people, too. I suddenly had friends to bubble with, fly paper airplanes with, catch frogs with. And then, in the final stretch, I even discovered a friend down the block on whose door (okay, texting machine) I can knock on and be like, āWanna play?ā ā which is possibly the most kid-summer thing of ALL!Ā
Around this time last week I was feeling pretty down that #thesummerofB was coming to an end. But now thereās a cold dew on the grass in the mornings, and the leaves are turning orange, and I donāt know what or why but the inner kid in me is feeling ready to grow up and move on. Itās been an unbelievably kick-butt #summerofB, guys. Thanks to everyone who made it happen.
So, as a fun summer project/return to the joy of writing after a somewhat tough year of life stuff, I published a small and silly and helpful guide to sleeping for anxious 30-somethings!Ā
Wait, why?Ā Glad you asked! See, I was at a party a few months ago when a table-full of my 30-ish friends were lamenting their troubles with sleep. They talked about swirls of jangly stress over bank accounts and work problems and impending life milestones assaulting their minds every night when they lay in bed. But, as a lifelong insomniac whoās come to terms with crummy sleep, and as a person who enjoys using her imagination to dwell on happy things like Beethoven symphonies and baby elephant dances whenever possible, I thought, āGuys, I can help!ā
I started writing down some tips and super-easy exercises to help my buddies learn how to fill their minds with goofy and positive things instead of just stress things... how to take back some control of their bedtime thoughts with love and silliness and whimsy. I only intended to print a few copies for my friends. Then, after I had a full draft, I was like,Ā āYāknow what? This is pretty good. Might as well share the love.āĀ
So, I published a small batch of these booklets with the help of the good folks at U of T Press and their print-on-demand service. (It was a great experience! Ask me if you have qās!) And then I decided to celebrate this return to writing joy with a small launch event. No big rumpus, no online fanfare. I really wanted to keep the focus for the party on my friends for whom this project was birthed in the first place, you feel me?Ā
You might/probably know that I have a few manuscripts that Iām polishing and shopping, and which Iām hopeful will be published in a traditional way in the not too distant future. (Hi, publishing houses! Call meeeeee!) But as I wait for that to come together, and experience the knocks and setbacks of agenting and submitting and editing in the meantime, it was quite nice to have control over a project that I feel proud of and was able to connect with an audience. Thatās really where I find meaning in my writing. And so, while I donāt imagine I will ever be interested in pursuing self-publishing for my longer/legit manuscripts, self-publishing this specific small project was a great way to reconnect with the reason I write in the first place.
I published my guide under the imprint ofĀ āWoolf Island Press,ā as a shout-out to my homegirl Virginia Woolf. Iāll tell you a bit more about that imprint another time.
But for now, Iād just like to say thanks to all my peeps who helped me create this project, and tell yāall that I still have a few copies if youāre interested, and Iām also working on the e-book version to spread the Worst. Sleep. Ever. goodies with folks who are farther flung across the world. Thanks, everyone. And sweet dreams!
Read this blog post I did for Tryst Books and youāll finally meet Barbara Cartland, the romance author who wrote 723 freakinā novels -- 723!
I had a lot of fun writing this piece about a truly prolific author whoās third-only in all-time sales behind WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE and AGATHA CHRISTIE. Also, sheās an award-winning aviator. And looked suspiciously like Dame Edna. Hello, unsung writing heroine!
I wrote a thing in the Toronto Star about a super cool teen graphic novelist, Evi Tampold, whose bookĀ āThe Hallway Closetā takes on ADHD
CHECK OUT MY ARTICLE FROM THE TORONTO STAR featuring the great work of Evi and a whole bunch of other fierce lady creators who took part in the Toronto Comic Arts Festival 2016. I was so happy to do this piece so I could feature their bravery and artistic talents.
Iāve been struggling with my feelings about this new year. On Facebook everyone has been celebrating their excitement for 2016, shining well-wishes and good tidings and smiles and sparkling wine. Meanwhile, all I can seem to think about is how horrendous this past year was... what a jerk of a year. A real bum. A stinker. A troll. There was sickness and a car accident and a job that became so horrible it triggered a period of serious mental un-health... doubt and dissolution of relationships in my writing life... then more sickness and crappiness and blah.
I tried to tamp down guilt that I wasnāt ready to move on -- that everyone else seemed up for just shaking off 2015 and getting jazzed about the future. I do have hope that this year will be better. I have hope. And yet this morning, making breakfast, I still found myself (figuratively) looking back over my shoulder and shuddering while everyone else stepped into a bright new day.
What a way to start the year, I thought, feeling damaged and then angry and guilty for having those damaged/angry feelings in the first place, letting them infect my mind. Then the thing happened to me.
The thing where my subconscious speaks to me through random songs it shoves into my head. See, I dream in music (original music, often, which I sometimes write down when I wake up) but also existing music. And the thing also happens when Iām awake. Once, years ago, I only found the strength to quit a terrible job that required me to start working at 4am after realizing Iād had the same song stuck in my head for about two weeks and its lyrics were, āWonāt you let me get some sleep tonight?ā My subconscious had been like, Helloooo, girl, you have to get us out of this mess!
So today while waiting for my tea to steep, I found myself singing the lyrics to āDonāt Look Back In Angerā from Oasis. First I was like, Whoah, how do I still know all the lyrics to that song? I havenāt thought about it in roughly 50-hundred years. But then I was like, Oh! What is good ole sub-consc-ie trying to tell us this time? And I thought about it (and then I drank some tea) and the answer was this: COME AT ME, BRO.
I donāt even WANT to be a person who just shakes it off and naively moves on to thoughts of complete happiness in the new year. Iāve been through a battle and I am bruised but not beaten. Last year picked up its stupid gnarly troll leg and kicked me down, and down again, and down again. But I just kept getting up. And I learned a lot about the world and about myself in the process. Itās impossible to not look back after all the dumb/difficult things that happened last year. But I donāt have to be angry about it. I am just stronger for it... and, on a making-sense-of-life level, thatās crazy valuable.
So, no, Iām not just blindly shimmy-shaking into 2016 with confetti and pop-poms. Iām limping into it like a damn champ who finally got a K-O in the 12th round. (Ed. note: are you impressed by my boxing simile?) Like Bruce Willis in Die Hard (Ed. note: are you impressed by my action movie simile?). He single-handedly fought off like a trillion snappily dressed European gentlemen. That dudeās feet were seriously cut up. But he did not give up... and neither will I.
Here we go, 2016. Iāve got some cut up feet but Iām putting on my sparkly shoes. Letās dance.
Obligatory Effortless Moments (a.k.a. Top 10 Amsterdam Must-Have Instagrams)
(Feathertale -- the most excellent publisher of the book I co-edited, EAT IT -- asked me to write something about āthe internetā to help celebrate the launch of their latest issue at a SUPER COOL TEMPORARY literary/art POP-UP STORE called Lit Bang which you should go to immediately if you are in Toronto and like good things. I could not oblige with an in-person reading, as I was scheduled to be in Amsterdam on vacation during that time. However, my wicked friend Heather was kind enough to read/display photos on my behalf for a story I wrote/produced from Amsterdam. Enjoy. And go to Lit Bang before it closes on Dec 20!)
It was my first entirely solo vacation to Europe as a fun-loving lady for whom the world is a slippery, gleaming oyster.
After leaving an increasingly anxiety-producing job, and having muddled through several months of life drama that was less than stellar, a week in Amsterdam was the obvious place in which to regain my peace of mind, my artistic mojo, and my *snap, snap* existential groove.
Museums to wander, canals to write poetry next to, hard cheeses with which to stuff my face. I was sold.
āAre you SURE? On your OWN?ā said my friends, my former co-workers, my parents. They didnāt know that a week to myself, in which my phone didnāt ring with offers from telemarketers, in which I did not have to press my eye against the peep hole of my apartment door every time I left the house just to make sure my neighbours werenāt in the hallway waiting to chat, in which I was just me, flying through the world on my own, as bold and alone as we all are in humanity -- itās a joy thatās impossible for non-introverts to understand.
I was confident I would be fine traveling solo, in light of a fairly robust history of international exploits, yet the stakes were high in terms of proving just how fine I was. Not fine, exactlyā¦ but great. More than great. Super. Stupendous. Ebullient! Bursting with the most perfect happiness that anyone on this earth has ever experienced.
It was clear the most effective way to convey my exalted Joy of Being was through Instagram.
My former co-workers already told me their thumbs would be constantly tapping ārefreshā in their Insta-feeds, so confused and jealous were they of my European jaunt, so requiring of evidence, of detail.
We can all agree that thoughtfully composed square-frame photos are the language of our age. So, applying my expertise as a writer/communicator/alive person with a phone, as I cowered from the gross man coughing loudly in the seat next to me on the red-eye flight, the following became my plan of action.
Instagram To-Doās
1. Selfie from inside airplane cabin upon touchdown, featuring sleep mask pushed high on forehead with hair wisps falling just-so over neck pillow. NB visit airplane bathroom before taking photo, slap cheeks hard with open palm to restore blood-flow after shitty overnight flight in which I did not sleep for more than 23 nanoseconds, re-apply makeup, re-don sleep mask once back in seat and refreshed. Caption: Waking up in Amsterdam! Life is beautiful!
2. Selfie from outside Amsterdam central train station, displaying stunning architecture in the background and my own thrill at being in a new place to explore. Not pictured, pick-pocket stealing my iPod while I am busy positioning and re-positioning selfie stick. Also not pictured, app which reduces under-eye bags, general dismay at having to navigate to airbnb while fighting acute nausea from having eaten weird airplane omelette for breakfast. Caption: Fresh and ready to explore!
3. Selfie in front of Barneyās coffee-house/weed cafe, giving thumbs up and raising eyebrow in such a way that neither condones nor condemns the use of marijuana but rather conveys high degree of worldliness and open-minded zen. Not pictured, contact high accumulated while composing shot, 25 minutes spent trying to get picture in focus while mentally impaired by pot fumes, eventually become so blitzed that I magically disappear from the photo completely. Caption: No comment.
4. Overhead photo of new journal and pen positioned on stones next to canal, thus communicating artistic freedom and inspiration already keenly at work since arriving all of 35 minutes ago. Not pictured, pee caked on stones next to canal, now also caked on back of as-yet-unwritten-in journal. Caption: #stationery #paper #journal #amwriting #soinspired #writinglife #iamwritingandyouarenotnopressure #iwillbethenextelizabethgilbert #seekingagent #whatdoyoumeanihavechosenthesehashtagsstrategically #authenticlife
5. Photo close-up of pile of salty black licorice.
6. Photo of priceless Rembrandt in Rijksmuseum.
7. Photo of another priceless Rembrandt in Rijksmuseum.
8. Photo of group of tourists taking photos of yet another priceless Rembrandt in Rijksmuseum.
9. Selfie showing furrowed brow, my āthinking face.ā
10. Photo of journal page with scribbled writing: āSorry guys, I give up, this is too exhausting. If you want to see what Amsterdam is like then you should just come here yourself rather than experiencing it through an app. See you back in Canada, when Iāll be bored enough to Instagram my brunch again. xoxo Bā
Awesome gif of me finding $50 in Miami, a.k.a. the best birthday present EVAR from my photographer buddy Maya Reid. (To be clear, the gif is the best present. Not the $50. Because the gif was made with love and thoughtfulness. And the $50 was just a piece of dumb paper that helped me pay for a parking ticket. Donāt you know the best things in life are free?)
My website had a MAKEOVER! This is just the soft-launch and there are still a few things I need to tweak and add... like more photos, including a real-person headshot (GLAMOUR!)... but I think for now itās a great improvement. Colourful, lively and yet clear about who I am and what I want to do. Thoughts?
Ohai, itās my latest episode with the delightful and brilliant Poet Laureate of Toronto, thank you very much... AND Roman Mars of 99% Invisible. Takinā it to the next level over there at The Cities Podcast, donāt ya know. (via https://soundcloud.com/the-cities-podcast/ep-6-the-poetry-map-with-george-elliott-clarke?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=tumblr)
Wanna know why I hide under a blanket when someone offers me a catfish poāboy? Check my essay in the e-book AND pre-order your hard copy book, NomFiction, from Little Fiction/Big Truths!
Find all the deets here.
āIs anybody having a good time? Is anybody else thinking about the bombs? Would they sound like a pop or a bang?ā
Out from that long loooong winter's ice cave and into the green budding-ness and sun - we made it, friends! Spring is here and it's time to take stock, pull ourselves together and ready for a season o...
Ooh lookie, itās my inaugural newsletter... get hip to it and subscribe here!
Editors, hereās a simple way to get a writer to stop hounding you
When I published this post a few weeks ago on the simple, respectful 5 second (!) copy/paste ways that editors can respond to writers without succumbing to the dreaded Wall of Silence, I neglected to include the very simple āBRBā message ā probably the most useful of all.
Ā To stop annoying follow-up emails in 5 seconds flat, just copy/paste the following:
Ā Hi there,
Ā Sorry, Iām super busy right now ā Iāve made a note in the calendar to get back to you on [specific date].
Ā Thanks!
Ā *Then, make note in calendar to send even one-sentence follow-up on that specific date*
Ā So easy! Five seconds to save a writer a tiny bit of her/his remaining sanity. Just think, maybe your kind copy/paste will mean she has the additional brain power to write the next War & Peace... or, yāknow, the peace of mind to file her taxes on time?Ā
Hey, whaddaya think about my re-launch of The Cities Podcast with Shawn Micallef? (I kinda like it... a lot! It feels much more casual and inviting to me than the pilot series, which was mega jam-packed. And check the music composed and performed especially for it from pal-of-the-podcast, Jay Ferguson!)
Something I found interesting about our new sharing method for this 2.0 version is that weāve decided to make it available through SoundCloud and Youtube (and iTunes...) for accessibility reasons.Ā
Because, as awesome as SoundCloud is, itās not compatible with Internet Explorer 8, which is (apparently?) the way most people still engage with the Internets.Ā
The unbelievably super web developer on my team crafted a cool script that automatically switches the embedded podcast to play from Youtube if you are one of the unfortunate souls not yet on Chrome or Firefox...Ā
Anyhoo, itās still early days and we havenāt even started to promote the podcast yet since weāre still getting started up again... but already WAY more people are listening through Youtube than SoundCloud.Ā
So, in case you were wondering, most of the world still seems to be stuck back in time with Internet Explorer. Interesting to chew on as all sorts of cool infinite scrolling and embedded this-that-and-the-other become more common... probably a lot of people who want to see it, but are stuck with IE, just canāt.Ā
Editors, here are some easy ways to reject us using copy/paste
Steady yourself, weāre going to tear down The Wall Of Silence today!
(You know, that frustrating lack of response after sending in a pitch, query or submission.)
First, the Darwinist in me would like you to know that, yeah, I totally get that the silent treatment is often warranted. Iāve read many the blog post, tweet and Media Bistro article from an editor or agent detailing the bilge they receive on a minute-to-minute basis from writers who arenāt fit to be naturally selected.
I know plenty of folks send in submissions that arenāt worth the pixels theyāre written on: pitches rife with typos, pitches for stories previously published, pitches not tailored to the specific publisher or outlet... bleh. For them, be my guest, silent-treatment away! If theyāre not spending the necessary time and effort on a query then they donāt deserve a response. But letās leave those dum-dums in the rubbish where they belong.
Iām writing today for the rest of us: those of us who know whatās what when it comes to freelancing or writing; those of us whoāve put in the hours and earned our credits through years of drafts and dumb mistakes weāll never make again.
Because sometimes our well-researched and thoughtfully composed queries still result in *tumbleweeds*.
Look, Iām not blind or insane or out-of-touch. I know editors/agents are waaaay overworked and that dealing with freelancers/writers is often the last thing they want or have time to do. I know itās my responsibility to be politely persistent and follow up... but there are only so many times I can send friendly check-in notes into the void without wanting to pie someone.
Itās disrespectful of my time (and, when you do it, disrespectful of yours). But itās not so hot for the editors, either, because the silent treatment means solid writers like us arenāt likely to pitch to them again.
So, today, letās choose to give these dear editors the benefit of the doubt ā and to help them help us. As much as our imaginations would sometimes like us to believe that they see our submissions and willfully, gleefully ignore them... theyāre probably just too busy with other stuff to send a note saying, āThanks, that was close, but itās not what weāre looking for right now.ā
Below, Iāve developed a few simple responses that editors can cut and paste. (Iām sure you must have a few template ideas in your back pocket, too ā if so, share them!)
I just tested and it takes five seconds to copy, paste, send and thus give a seasoned writer the respect she deserves after having spent the time developing a pitch... even if itās one that didnāt quite make the cut. Five seconds. FIVE.
Editors, you are welcome! Writers, we are welcome, too!
Imagine all the hours of fretting and wondering that will now be filled with more productive activities. And all it took was a copy and a paste. Ahh, modern life!
ALL-PURPOSE REJECTION
Hi there,
Thanks so much for taking the time to craft this pitch. Sorry to say it isnāt a fit for us right now. All the best with your work and please feel free to query again in the future.
(Editors: this is frustratingly vague for a writer to receive but still preferable to no response at all. Thanks!)
FOR WRITERS PITCHING SOMETHING SOLID BUT BORING
Hi there,
Thanks very much for sending this in. Youāre on the right track but there should be more at stake. Feel free to pitch us again on a story with more drama.
FOR WRITERS PITCHING AN IDEA RATHER THAN A STORY
Hi there,
Thanks for your pitch. This is a cool topic but there arenāt enough lively characters to make it a compelling story. Feel free to query us again on great ideas with interesting voices behind them.
FOR PITCHES THAT MISS THE āBIG PICTUREā POINT
Hi there,
Thanks for submitting this pitch. There are some interesting elements but the āso what?ā question isnāt answered clearly enough. Feel free to pitch us again on a story with a ābig pictureā context that will resonate with the lives of our readers.
FOR PITCHES THAT COULD USE A TEENY BIT MORE TAILORING TO A PUBLICATION
Hi there,
Iām interested but need more detail on why you pitched it to us. Can you take a look through our previous work and tell me, in a few sentences, why this would hook our specific readership?
FOR PITCHES THAT DESERVE A SECOND GO
Hi there,
Thanks so much for crafting this pitch. Iām interested but not convinced itās right for us just yet. Can you give a bit more detail (no more than 500 words) and be sure to highlight the characters, drama, unique qualities and āso whatā context of the story?Ā
Share your template rejections, too, and hopefully our editor friends will join the movement to dismantle The Wall Of Silence one response at a time!
