Kama has loved before. That was never in question. Kama will love again. This, too, is something they can only dwell on as ‘regrettable’ in the same way that one would describe a bug, swatted against a fancy curtain and having to be cleaned up later lest it stain.
Maybe it’s because they have nothing better to do. In another summoning, they will wear the face of a young boy, whose red sword and bright smile shone even at the precipice of the end, and who finally became the ‘hero’ he wanted to be. He too, burnt as any shape their love takes, ruined and soiled by Manasija mimicking a boy who couldn’t be saved. In that form, perhaps the stars will coil like thorns, and the rifts in their body will run across his hands and arms, and that purple hair may shine with the galaxy like the blue of his father.
They will wear this face someday, too. But they will never wear this face here. Not in front of this one.
“This girl… the way she imagined herself in the future resembled Rati. Even when she was fearful. It made me think of what a daughter could have looked like.” It’s… honest. Eerily so. Yako’s face briefly twists back at her, this body less endowed, but the stars burn red with something further back- older in time, but a spirit that was from back then, younger and perhaps capable of something Kama is incapable of now. But Kama can’t bring themself to really frown that much. Eyes that are more their own float over Yako, looking over her.
"...I don't look like I used to. There's nothing left of that body. There's no resemblance to be found anywhere." A hand traces her cheek, gentle. The stars are almost fuzzy so close, little red dots like freckles or beauty marks. It’s more a reflection of Kama, then, that this body is a soft thing despite reflecting back a warrior, claws which are tender to not scratch at what is loved.
“You’ll die someday. I’ll keep the better parts of you.” For a moment, it’s a soft statement, before they roll their eyes and flick at their master’s nose, pulling themself back to a better (read: more irritable) mood. “But not your voice. It’s annoying. Who said you could start backtalking, huh? Maybe I should start implying you're dumb.”
Hm~m. Kama's in kind of a serious mood... Yako should be put off, but honestly, she can only fall even more in love with that face knowing that Kama took it as their own. She smiles, fanged and smug, when Kama reaches up and flicks her nose. Yako laughs. "Hey, that hurt." No, it didn't.
"Well, hey, that makes two of us." Yako slides her tablet out from her bedtable drawer and, with a few taps of a screen pen, pulls up her archive of pictures from her old phone. The person there, taking surreptitious selfies with her Caster mentor, bears only a vague resemblance to Yako: brown hair reaching her shoulders, soft brown eyes without battle-lust, a body of athleticism but not the scars or readiness for battle of a trained Chaldea soldier. The spark in her eyes is different; curiosity without cockiness, a sort of vulnerability Yako rarely shows these days. The lopsided smile and crinkle of her nose, though, is the same. "...Sometimes I get kind of nostalgic. Like, oh, I won't look like that again, that's kinda sad. But who does, y'know?"
Well, their situations are a little different, she supposes... Maybe her attempt at relating isn't going over great. It's hard to tell what Kama's thinking sometimes. Or... a lot of times. She shrugs and idly flips through pictures, skimming over those with a certain Doctor whose features seem to be blurred in every picture, and Mash when she had longer hair and softer eyes, and Ritsu before their hair grew out. "Basically, don't stress about it too much." While she has Kama here, though, Yako reaches over and traps Kama in a hug, getting a better look at that face. "'Sides, count yourself lucky you got a handsome son of a bitch to copy off." She smiles broadly and cups her chin innocently, releasing Kama soon after.
Okay, okay, enough teasing. Kama's going through enough. ...Still. That bothers her. You'll die someday. Well, sure, but it's not something she ever really thought about with immediacy... Gods work on a different time-scale, though. Can she ever really comprehend that loneliness? Definitely not. Yako paces, tail flicking this way and that. "What if... Okay, this is gonna sound stupid, but..." Just out with it. "These Command Spells are gonna disappear eventually, when I stop being able to be your summoner. But. Y'know. What if you... tattooed on me? So you've left something, too. Permanent, on me. I'll let you pick what you do and where you do it, except on the face. How's it sound?"
"It's kind of unnerving, being out of time like I am, you know." It's a quiet, offhand comment: Gray's gaze laser-focused on Fou, whose fluffy cheeks she's busy pinching and rolling in her fingers. The words kind of slipped out, like how some of her more unsavory comments and snide remarks can sneak past the barrier of her teeth (usually she can keep them in, just a clattering echo bouncing 'round her head -- not always as nice as people think she is). Ah well. No choice but to keep on, trying not to mince words or bottle up as much. "There's people who expect me to be older, and people who I've never seen as old as they are here. It's...weird."
"Yeah, I can imagine. I mean, like, Chaldea has a weird flow of time anyway, y'know? I'm getting older, but time outside isn't moving. Kinda feels like I'm stuck in a Groundhog Day loop a lot of the time. But you're more, 'time is moving but I'm not', right? Yeah, that's tough." It's common for a lot of the Servants here--but they're dead, and have had time to get used to it. Gray... isn't. She's still alive, breathing, blood in her veins, a life ahead of her.
"It's gonna keep being weird. I don't think we'll ever get used to it. Best we can do is just play the hand we're dealt. Time is gonna leave us behind no matter what we do. But hey, at least you don't have to deal with it alone. You've got buddies! Magic is all kinds of weird and fucked up, so, y'know, it's good to have people you can complain to when it gets really stupid. Right?"
"You're looking healthy. Glad to see it. Looking for a fight, or did you just want to say 'sup?" Considering how things went last time, she's not hopeful, but... "...Or maybe you had something else to say. I won't run away."
annihilation takes yako’s hand in their good one. they know she still looks at them with regret. there is still, as ever, the urge to tell her it’s okay. nothing can be perfect. is doing so cruel, though, coming from them? annihilation who wears the face of her friend? of course, not all timelines are the same. they smile anyways, and lean forward to kiss her crown. “you’ve been working hard. you should rest.” they are after all now partially in charge of managing servant schedules. it would be remiss of them to completely overlook the staff’s. including yako. their goal is still as ever to ‘ease the burden of others’. head cants to the side as they move back, giving her a small smile. “you aren’t allowed to overwork yourself, hm?”
How can you stand there, looking like that, and say that?
As much as she'd like to be a torrent of ire, Yako sighs deeply and rests her forehead against Annihilation's--no, Ritsu's--clavicle. The rest of the staff might look at them like a monster, but she can't bring herself to. ...That's her friend.
"And whose fault is that?" her voice cracks. "If you'd just..." It's too late for that. They know. They know, they know, that's why they're here now, in this form, doing what they can to... not fix things themself, exactly, but make it easier for Yako to fix things. Facilitate and mediate. Even so, even knowing this, Yako grips their clothes and hides her face from them, feeling the anger bubbling back up. If she could just keep her cool. If she could just stay the unshaken Master, like Ritsu had always been.
Is that person still inside there? Looking at them now, she'd like to believe so. Which makes her madder. "I wouldn't have to work so hard if you'd just---if you'd fucking stayed!" Oh, no, don't cry now. "You don't have the right to come in here and tell me you want to take care of me now after all that! You made me fight you! You made me kill you!"
Tears roll hot off her cheeks, despite her efforts to bite them back. "If I'm overworking myself, it's your fucking fault. Just--" She pushes herself off of Ritsu-- off of Annihilation-- and wipes her tears, turns her back, adjusts her jacket, and clears her throat. "Just don't act like you can fix what you broke, you dick."
"I know already, so can you leave me alone?" Yako turns over in her bed, throwing a pillow around her head like a barrier between herself and Kadoc, tail curling close to her body. "...I just, I don't want to see anyone right now. I'll figure out how to fix it. Just give me time to think." Please, please, just give her a chance. Just give her some time. She knows that the longer she ignores it, the worse it's going to get--but she can't bring herself to face it just yet. "Please."
"I might be dumb but I'm not stupid. You're wearing my face. Like, your hair is twinkly like usual and you've got the space arms, but that's... my face." She'd be flattered if she weren't so confused. "What, you didn't like the one you had before?" Or are you just that down bad for me? Yako thinks, but doesn't add.
i do want to rewrite yako's au list here though because id like to branch outside of everyday chaldea shenanigans, i like writing her in a variety of situations... shes neat. im slowly catching up with fgo but tbh with yako i need to let her breathe and explore a bit or she goes dormant from too much stasis. you know how it is. im also working through traum and lb7 but that is Extremely slow going so i can't update her time just yet. but yeah! big plans. big ideas. thank you for your patience!! <3
"That's your problem--you're always working! Why don't you do something fun once in a while? You know what I do to unwind? Some deep-sea diving! ...Wait, you can't breathe underwater, right... What about hunting? Stalking somethin' over a couple dozen malms clears my head up. Huh? That's not normal? Uhh... Hm. Well, what about the Gold Saucer? ...'How is that relaxing?' What's more fun than Leap of Faith? It's like a jungle gym for adults! Uh, lemme explain what a jungle gym is..."
"Hey there! Always great to meet a fan. Something for me to sign? Wait, let me guess... You wanted to see my gunblade, right? Check this out! It's called the 'Law's Order Manatrigger', and we've been buddies for years - but the chamber's as smooth and the blade's as sharp as ever. Sure, go ahead and touch, it's no problem! Just don't pull the trigger. Not that you can use it without being attuned, but I wouldn't want something bad to happen by accident."
you die saving the world, as you were always supposed to. peace comes only with your blood. the world will remember you for centuries. they will write poems, create art, and film movies all about you. no one will remember what you were before your death. maybe you don't even know it either. you have spent so long saving the world time after time that there is nothing left of you except the heroism. you die never knowing love.
y'know, might be tragic from most perspectives, but that's how she'd want to go i think... people praising her and remembering her for the things she did and not the unpleasant person she knew she was. she'd only want the heroism to be left. that's the only part of her tale worth telling in her estimation - that's the impression she wants to leave other people with, especially if it means the 'real' her gets lost along the way. ...but her companions deserve better than that...
stolen from @caemthe , steal it from me if you like............
Stupid fucking Magecraft stupid fucking Baobhan-Sith stupid fucking get her out of here. She feels like she's been wandering forever. Of course it's always the Chaldea hallways, too. Always the ones covered in ice, can't even be the empty ones back at Novum Chaldea, or the ones from the old Chaldea before they got iced. Always has to be damn cold in here. Yako punches a wall and sighs, but keeps walking, hoping at some point she'll come across a door or something.
"Damn, when will you just give it a rest?"
Yako glances to her side, and sees another self walking beside her down this endless, empty hallway. She scoffs. "Finally! I was starting to get lonely. So, what, you're here to bother me until I break down emotionally and give up, like Aphrodite and Mnemosyne?"
"Woooow, straight A's! She can use that brain!" The smile on the other Yako is toothy and insincere. "And you know what? I cooould take it slow and gentle, but why don't we cut to the chase? You like it rough anyway, right?"
Before Yako can answer, she finds herself in the clinic. Asclepius throws a pile of papers at her, his face as cold as ever. "That's what the data says. You've burned out your magical circuits too badly to use magic anymore. Your Servants have been dismissed. It took all of my genius just to keep your idiot self alive, let alone conscious, so be grateful you're even standing here to hear the news."
Ah, hey, that's unfair. Yako takes the papers and stands up, tossing them in the trash as she goes. "So what? I still have…" …No, she doesn't. She reaches for her side, but Calesvol isn't there. "Nevermind. I gotta get going." She slams open the clinic door - to see Ritsu and Mash's waiting faces outside. "Uh, 'scuse--"
"Are you all right? You really pushed yourself in that last battle," Mash pipes up. "It was pretty reckless to do what you did."
"And what did I do, exactly?"
The Mash-alike pauses, searching her brain. Ritsu pipes up. "It was reckless and irresponsible." Their words cut right to the quick. "Yako, I just can't have you on my team if you're going to put everyone in danger like that again. Including yourself."
"…" Yako clenches her jaw. Not like they're never doing reckless shit themself. Have they forgotten about the gun that eats away at their life-force to function? --No, hang on, don't get worked up. It's a misery dream, remember. And they still haven't said what she's actually done… though she can fill in the blanks for herself.
Ritsu turns their back on her. "I didn't want things to turn out this way. I thought I could give you a chance, but clearly, I was mistaken."
"Hey, wait a--" Ritsu's already walking away. Yako reaches out a hand, but flinches back at the last minute. "Right… Illusion. It's not them. But… I guess… I can be pretty reckless."
"Damn right you are." Oh, now that's a familiar voice. Your worldbuilding is breaking down, buddy. Yako turns to look at Kama with a nonplussed expression. "I'm always cleaning up after you. And you know what? I'm damn tired of it. I didn't ask to be a Servant in the first place, then I get stuck with an idiot like you, and then I'm forced to be your fucking babysitter? It's torture."
…There's nothing she can say to that. It's completely true. As much as she hates it. Yako's hand curls into a fist, nails digging into her palm, her tail frustratedly swishing behind her. (Why is she getting so worked up? It's a fake. But… it's not like it's a lie.)
Kama glares at her with the fury of a god. "You act like a child, and then get frustrated when people treat you like one. Pick a fucking side. No wonder everyone thinks you're a hassle."
"Ouch."
"That's all you have to say? You're a selfish asshole, you know that?"
"…I'm sorry."
"It's like pulling teeth with you." The scene melts away again - no clinic, no hallway, just the bleached-white earth and its crumbling ruins. Kama grips Yako by the shirt collar. "Always 'sorry' at the last minute after nothing can be fixed, because you're too cowardly to apologize when it's actually useful. Always 'sorry' after you've been backed into a corner. Do you even hear yourself? Have you ever thought about another person besides yourself?" They shove Yako away, and turn away with a disgusted expression on their face. "Do you even care about me, or do you just want to use me like everyone else does?"
Yako opens her mouth, and closes it again. Will talking make it worse? Will not talking make it worse? "I-I do care. I really do! You're important to me! I didn't realize how much until you used up your name for me, and--- and I know I won't ever be able to repay you for that, and I was scared of losing you, and I just…"
"This isn't about you!" a thousand voices scream at once. Kama's gentle galaxies turn burning-bright and all-consuming. "…Deal with this shit yourself. I'm tired. Bye." With that, Kama rips open a hole in space and disappears.
And Yako is on her own, once again.
She brings herself to her feet and wanders around. Her heart feels like it's breaking. With every step, she feels further from herself, lost in her own thoughts again.
"Nobody listens to me," her voice echoes. She didn't say that. "Nobody tries to understand me. I mess up everything I do, no matter how hard I try. Especially if I'm trying not to mess up. Why won't everyone get off my back?"
"Who's there?! Stop reading my mind!" Yako whips around, looking for anyone else. "Shut up! Just shut up! I don't want to hear any more!"
"I don't want to hear that I'm not trying hard enough. I don't want to face the reality that I'm not. I don't want to face the truth."
"Please, stop! I don't… want to hear this anymore…" She covers her ears, her heart aching and throat tightening.
"Whenever people ask me why I want to be a hero…"
A figure steps out from behind a wall. It's… herself? "I answer, 'Because I want to help people!' But it's not true, not really. I want to be adored. I want people to think I'm cool. I feel like if I burn myself at both ends for other people, I'll be loved - because I don't really understand what real love is like. As much as I want to tell myself that I'm human, is it really true? Was I ever human to start with?"
"Shut up…" Her voice is breaking. "Shut up, shut up, I don't want to hear this anymore… I hate this. Why is it a bad thing if I want to be loved? I'm sorry I didn't get the handbook when I was born! I'm doing my best! I don't know how to do better!"
"Aww, I know." Her mirror's voice is so gentle. "Even if everyone gives up on you, I know you did the best you could." She can hear the sneer to it. "Don't worry, nobody's ever going to hear about your journey. Even if they do, they can't tell anyone, or you'll get hit with a Sealing Designation by the Mages Association faster than you can say 'Oops'. Nobody's going to know about the sacrifices you had to make or how hard you pushed yourself, or about your time in Tartarus's maze, or about how you were personally trained by several historical figures, yes, personally, don't you believe me? And nobody's going to know about all your mistakes, either. It'll all be just a dream come morning, and you'll wake up in your bed wondering what the hell to do with the rest of your life. Your parents will wonder why you don't just get a normal job like everyone else your age. Sure, they gave up on their dreams for you to strike it rich where they couldn't, but you could still make a modest living in a cubicle somewhere, right? It's not the worst way to live. You'd still be able to do some LARPing as a part-time hero in your spare time."
Yako sinks to her knees. Her mirror crouches down next to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. "So, really, it's in your best interest to call it quits now. It's a sunk-cost fallacy that's kept you in it this long. Ritsu doesn't need you. Mash definitely doesn't need you. Kama, Connla, and Cú Chulainn? They won't even remember you. Everyone can save the world without you. …If there's a world left to be saved, that is. I mean, it'd suck if you were doing all this and then were left with a bleached-white Earth and no future ahead of you, right? All those worlds and their people, that you just…" she snaps her fingers, "…out of existence. While they were sleeping, too! But, mhm, yep, Ritsu can definitely take the blame for you. It'll be like you weren't even there at all.
"So why keep going?"
…That's the real question, isn't it.
Are you waiting for an answer? Do you really want to hear it? Obviously, you already know everything! But…
"Move."
One foot in front of the other.
Yako stands back up. Slowly, deliberately. "…It's okay to hesitate. It's okay to be afraid. But don't stop." She steadies her breathing and lets her hands fall down to her sides. "Don't ever stop. Don't ever retreat. Don't ever go back. Wherever the living go, that's where Humanity goes."
Yeah. Okay. She can do this. She takes a deep breath in, and exhales slowly. "You know, this is one of the nicer mental manipulations I've been through. I mean, you're not trying to overwrite my personality, or erase my memories, just… make me give up. But the thing is, I'm just too dumb to know when to give up." She puts her hand out to her side… and feels someone holding it, though it's only for a moment. "You did give me some stuff to think about, so thanks for that. But you left out some other stuff, too. It's not just me and Ritsu out here. It's not just our Servants, either. Everyone in Chaldea is working together to save our world, and there's a lot of people in there way smarter than me. I know they can figure it out."
"But what if they can't?" her mirror laughs. "You've cried yourself to sleep thinking about it!"
"We will."
Her voice reverberates sharply across the dreamscape. The bleached-white surface begins to crack open; the structures around her start to crumble. Beyond her vision, a star shines bright. Her mirror regroups herself. "If you think things are going back to normal once you're done, you're only kidding yourself. There's no going back for you. The blood won't come off your hands. The stench won't leave your body. So why keep fighting?"
Yako pauses.
Yes, it's true that the blood will never come off her hands. She accepted that long ago - told herself never to turn away from the reality of her role. She's taken lives - human lives, when you include the Olympians - and stained her armor with their blood. She delights in battle, craves the sport of it, the moment when everything is on the line and her life flashes before her eyes. Someone trying to interrogate her fears should know better than anyone… "I already told you I'm too stupid to give up. I want to keep going as far as I can go. So long as I'm alive, I'll never stop walking towards that light… Towards my ideal. I'll never be a hero - I'll never even get close - but that doesn't mean I should stop trying to be one. No, it's because of that ideal that I've been able to make it this far, and while I'll keep going, and why I'll never, ever stop trying to reach it. The future I'm fighting for is one where even some nobody like me can have that chance - the chance to be better than they were yesterday."
The rumbling grows louder. Even the sky is crumbling. Everything is falling away as something cracks, cracks, breaks.
"…Well, I'll be damned." The scene finally falls away, the curtain closing on its actors. The one using Yako's voice mumbles to himself. "Were humans always this resilient?"
" ... you can't even say my real name after all of that? "
that... doesn't really sound at all like the human she knew. yako is still yako, though more worn, but this.. isn't her 'dummy'. more than just the extra appendages, more than the sharper look to his teeth and hands, this just isn't him. but... it is. he crosses his arms over his chest.
" i trusted you with something i couldn't tell anyone else and you threw it back in my face and reinforced exactly why i couldn't tell anyone else. " he steps forward, brows furrowing to accompany narrowing eyes. aviv hasn't slept in a while, unrelated to the tactless fox who stands apologizing like a preschooler threatened with no recess time, but it definitely ends up making him more.. irritable. less ready to take on this kind of a confrontation.
so he awkwardly fidgets with his braid for a moment as his upper lip curls into a growling sneer. how long did aviv sit confused by her words? guilty? guilty for feelings he couldn't even control. funny, though, how yelling at the problem doesn't make it go away. funny how running away and coming back later, the people you left won't stay the same. isn't it funny?
his ears twitch atop his head.
" you didn't care, and you still don't care. you're upset because someone might not like you. if you had to sit and ruminate on why what you said was wrong for that goddamn long, i almost feel worse now that you've apologized. " get to the point. get to the point.
" if you want to mend anything, you have to earn it. i've blindly handed my trust to too many people to just do it again for someone i know will betray it. "
...Is she sure she got the right person? The right timeline? She thinks so, but... Things have changed a lot for you, haven't they? Her hand drops back to her side.
You don't care. Doesn't she? You're just upset someone might not like you. But that's never bothered her before - other than Mash and Ritsu being disappointed in her, maybe. Even if she wants to argue her case here (not that there's a case to be made), experience tells her she's better off biting her tongue and meeting his gaze unrelentingly. It hurts. Of course it does. It sucks. Getting laid bare by someone who has every reason to hate you isn't going to be pleasant. She bites down on her tongue until it seems like he's waiting for a reply - or at least giving her the opportunity for one.
She sits up straighter, hands resting on her knees. "No argument here. I came back without knowing how bad off you were, how bad off I'd left you, or what you were even doing all this time." Getting sudden new animal features isn't really something that happens to mentally sound people, is it? "Wasn't even that I didn't know I hurt you, but I was too chickenshit to face you after that, so I kept trying not to think about what I said and did to you. It took me way too damn long to get my head out of my ass, and I'm not even positive I managed that. ...But I do care." Even though I don't know how to do it right. It's not coming out right. I miss you. I miss being around you. I miss the person whose smile lit up the room...
(Whether this is still the person she misses - is a silly question to ask. Whatever a person becomes, they're still themselves; that's what she's always decided. And, honestly - it's good that he's gotten more assertive.)
Well, that's the answer she's getting. Makes sense. It's not like there's no precedent. And she is pretty good at finding new and innovative ways to fuck up in her relationships. Even so, well... "Sounds about right." The words come out quietly. Yako glances back at the floor briefly, then stands up, thumbs hooked in her pockets. "I'd feel like shit if you just said 'water under the bridge', honestly. I..."
Yako stops herself and shakes her head. What else is there to say? Wouldn't it be easier to end things here? Spare Aviv the pain and hassle and hatred? ...Yeah, probably. It's selfish of her to keep stringing him along like this. Re-inviting herself into his life, even to apologize - it's a dick move. (She just wishes that she'd had that thought before walking in here.)
But here she goes again, making decisions for someone else...
"I want to do better. I don't want to be this kind of person anymore. I know there's no way you can trust me, and no way for me to prove that I'm serious. There's no way I can promise I won't fuck up again or hurt someone again. I get that you don't want that person to be you again. I don't... I don't blame you. I just... hope that..."
Careful.
"I hope that we can still... see each other around sometimes."
"Hey." Yako grips the end of Dummy's sleeve before she misses him completely.
She sits hunched forward on the bench, rubbing the back of her neck anxiously as she talks. Her face is worn; she's tired, older. "Hey, Dum. Look, I know you probably don't want to see my face again. The way I left things off last time was... shitty. Then I got stuck in a Lostbelt that gave me a lotta time to think about how I've been kinda shitty to people for a, uh... while." (An understatement.) "And I kept coming back to how I treated you like shit, even though I really liked being friends with you. I don't know what's wrong with me." Her gaze keeps flicking to the floor, to the wall, to the window, and rarely to Dumbass's face - but she just can't bring herself to meet its gaze head-on.
"I guess I'm saying I want to make things up to you, but I don't know how." (I don't like the icky feeling of thinking there's nothing I can do to fix this.) "I've never been good with people." (I don't know where to start. Maybe I should let him punch me?) "Ugh, I don't know. If there's anything left to save, I wanna save it. If there's nothing, I guess you can hear me say I was wrong and I'm," her shoulders drop, "sorry." / @12pirit.
i didn’t really feel like writing out a ton of drabbles for this really long really cool lostbelt so instead, i have. Lots of notes of what yako’s up to during the lostbelt. christ ive been working on this for a year and a half, my god
PREPARATION —
There are three weeks between Heian-kyo and Avalon le Fae. Under the assumption they were to be sent to South America next, Yako spends much of this time stocking up on materials she creates, like healing scrolls and ether shots; practicing her defensive spells, wards, and purification spells; and refreshing her survival skills for wilderness exploration. But, oops, it's Britain actually, good luck.
ARRIVAL — 45 DAYS REMAINING
Upon arriving in the Lostbelt, Yako is separated from the rest of Chaldea and drawn into the Nameless Forest, whereupon she is taken in by Shub (who had been enjoying the breath of fresh air the Lostbelt gave her) as a knight of the forest, still bearing her holy sword on her hip. She spends many days there, slaughtering invasive Mors that attack the edge of Shub’s forest, before she is rescued by Connla and Kama, who remind her of her true identity. She challenges Shub’s intentions, but as always, the god is inscrutable, and Yako is eventually let out of the woods without a fight.
Asked what the nature of the forest is, Connla answers it’s a forest which takes away names and lets those within it wander until they die or are killed, permanently lose themselves and go mad, or are taken in by the village in the center - where he found himself when he woke up. He tells Yako that he had been searching for her since he remembered there was someone important he was missing. Kama had been wandering nameless through the woods when Connla found them and restored their memories, as well. There has been no sign of Cú, who would experience the most tampering by this Lostbelt due to the nature of his legends.
Reunited, Connla, Kama, and Yako set out to find Chaldea and Cú.
AWAKENING — 14 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 31 DAYS REMAINING
Yako begins her search for Chaldea in a nearby town, but opts to keep their name out of her mouth, in case enemy forces are searching for them. She leaves a note at an inn on the notice board, “To 48, From 43”, reading, “I’m safe, but I need to find my hound. I have my arrows and knife with me. We’ll meet up soon, don’t worry!”
While traveling in search of Cú, Yako, Connla, and Kama have many adventures, from rescuing travelers from Mors or bandits, to recovering treasures from destroyed villages for displaced fairies, meeting strange ladies who live in lakes, slaying vicious wild beasts attacking farmers, or freeing humans trapped in fairy-made prisons. Yako makes a name for herself among the humans of this land, who wonder if she might be their very own ‘Child of Prophecy’; she rejects this notion out of hand, not because she isn’t confident in her skill, but because she rejects prophecy and destiny, and that whatever prophecy there might be about her, she wouldn’t hear about it.
While on her travels, Yako encounters Beryl infrequently, having dialogue about what it means to live life on your own terms and the nature of goodness and heroism. He attempts to mock her, but Yako is firm in her beliefs, though she adds complexity to her understanding of herself, and solidifies her answer about what being a hero means for her. Beryl seems annoyed by these answers, and draws Mors to attack her, but she and her Servants are able to put down the threat. He leaves a hint about an impending calamity at Norwich and departs before Yako can deal the finishing blow.
THE CALAMITY OF NORWICH — 26 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 19 DAYS REMAINING
Drawn by the sound of ringing bells, Yako makes her way towards Norwich, armed with Fairy-made armor and a strengthened Calesvol. Here, she meets up again with Ritsu and da Vinci as they help evacuate citizens to shelters, and then Mash as a Calamity rises from the depths of the sea.
While Mash deploys her shield to hold off the Calamity, and Ritsu engages their Command Seals to empower her, Yako makes use of a limited deployment of Calesvol; as she’s unable to unleash all of the seals in Fairy Britain, she can’t use the sword’s god-slaying abilities, but its blade is able to cut away at the grasping hands of the Norwich Calamity. They’re able to vanquish the Calamity, saving the town of Norwich, and subverting one of the Prophecies.
Just after their victory, Mash is forcibly transferred away from Norwich using Morgan’s Water Mirror, and Habetrot joins Ritsu’s expedition until the pair are reunited. Yako learns about the prophecy and Artoria’s role in it, but declines joining Ritsu’s team to meet Morgan; her current priority is finding Cú. With an anxious but resolved heart, her party departs Norwich, certain they’ll meet again soon.
CÚ-SÍDHE — 28 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 17 DAYS REMAINING
“Those who hear the howl of the cú sídhe must turn and run, or be overtaken by terror.”
Yako hears a rumor. At night, one can hear howling from the Lake District; those who hear it are doomed to die. Investigating the rumor, Yako's party ends up near Orkney, evading Knocknarea's territory to find themselves in a misty patch of woods. There, they end up at the spearpoint of a young man dressed in warrior's clothes, a wild white hound by his side...
In these woods, Yako’s party solves the mystery of the cú sídhe, recovers Cú’s memories and sword, and make their way back on the road armed with new knowledge about the nature of fairies in this Lostbelt, and the legend of a giant beast whose body makes up the island. Cú finally reaches his third Ascension, and Yako makes a promise that she’ll let him save her—that she won’t be too proud to call on him for help when she needs it.
--- END OF PART 1 ---
ON THE ROAD AGAIN — 30 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 15 DAYS REMAINING
While Ritsu has an audience with Queen Morgan, Yako’s gang investigate the myths surrounding the Child of Prophecy, and old, forgotten stories, trying to find out more about the giant beast. Though the fairies in towns have little to say, there are fairies living in out-of-the-way homes outside of Morgan’s notice, where they speak freely of their antipathy for her and her ‘existence tax’. Occasionally, Beryl will reappear to cause problems for Yako, and she insists he drop himself down the Great Pit as soon as possible.
Residing in Londinium, the last outpost of humans in Fairy Britain, Yako and Cú learn more about the plight of humanity in this land of fairies: though Yako is familiar with their maltreatment at the hands of the upper-class fairies, she’s less familiar with the general state of humans here. They aid the Londinium guard in exterminating Mors near its borders and help repair the ramparts in exchange for food and board.
Ritsu, Artoria, and company arrive just a few days after Yako’s party does. Reunited with Chaldea, Yako shares her findings, learns more about the state of Chaldea’s mission, and spends time getting to know Artoria. From hereon, Yako rejoins the group as they plan to retake Norwich.
AFTER THE FIRST BELL — 32 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 13 DAYS REMAINING
Yako talks with the fairies often during these days, trying to get to know them, their goals, and their dreams, though her questioning yields little result. Oberon avoids conversation about himself, not that Yako notices under his smooth-talking spell. She admires his careful and clever nature, is fascinated by his stories, and enjoys learning more about his past and the fairies of Wales. Artoria is not very comfortable around Yako, which she would later find out is due to Artoria's own fear of fire - Yako's primary elemental magecraft. At least she gets along with Gareth and Muramasa...
At Londinium, the Fang Clan are beaten back, but reports come in that the Queen's army is marching on Wales - where Oberon's forest is. The crew head out with all haste, Yako using magecraft to hasten Red Hare's speed, but arrive too late; the forest burns. They split up to cover more ground; Yako tries to find survivors, but sees only ashes, corpses, and soldiers in need of a thrashing. It's all she can do to put out fires with sprays of water runecraft, but eventually Kama drags her out of the forest, Yako and the boys coughing violently and gasping for breath. Yako wants to go back in, but Kama makes her use her healing scrolls on herself, Connla, and Cú before they die from smoke inhalation.
At the edge of the burning forest, Fairy Knight Gawain greets them with an ultimatum: Submit now, or die. Artoria, Ritsu's party, and a surprise Muramasa beat Gawain back while Percival, Gareth, and Yako's Servants fend off soldiers. After Gawain is weakened, Artoria reveals her true name: Barghest, the Black Dog. The battle rages into the night, ending in Barghest's defeat and retreat. Yako stands with Percival and Gareth against the just-arrived Fairy Knight Lancelot, who leaves the scene after clashing with Percival. The forest fire has died down, leaving the charred remains of Wales behind.
Oberon, though... "...Would you give me some time alone? It's going to take some time to say goodbye to each and every one of them."
Back in Salisbury, Artoria is greeted with a hero's welcome. The group plan for their defense of Londinium and retaking of Norwich, but Yako wanders outside in the early morning air, trying to decide her own next move. Of course she ought to stay with Ritsu and bolster the team, but could she do more good helping them cover more ground? Or staying with the rebel army, helping them fend off threats?... Ahh, no matter which way she figures it, she doesn't want to be far from the action after all. If only they could make tracks in finding Mash. It's really worrying...
AFTER THE SECOND BELL — 34 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 11 DAYS REMAINING
The second bell is rung, from high atop Salisbury, adding yet another victory to Artoria's belt. The group departs for Londinium, bustling with new recruits from Norwich. Peperoncino has made the effort to show up in person and lay out the situation for Yako, Ritsu, and da Vinci: that the Lostbelt has surpassed 'a possible point in history', instead rapidly becoming a world with the same strength of existence as Proper Human History. Rather than a "Lostbelt", it's a "Lost World". The denizens of this world, being proper existences themselves, wouldn't disappear if the Lostbelt disappeared... and being fairies, born of the earth, could move outside of Avalon, unlike the humans of the Lostbelt.
"...It means there's a possible future together."
With this news, Artoria reaffirms her desire to save the fairies of Britain and follow the path of the Child of Prophecy. Yako mulls things over after Pepe leaves. If there's a way to save everyone... why aren't they searching for it? Could they have done anything differently to save the people of the past Lostbelts, while still saving their own world...? And why aren't humans a part of the world to be saved?
"...Say, Ritsu. Should we have been looking for... a different option?" She rubs her neck. "—Sorry, forget I said that. It's not like we have a lot of options here in the first place. I just..." she says, glancing up at the dusk-blue sky, "...Before, I was frustrated I couldn't do anything... and now, I'm frustrated that what I do isn't enough. There's no way to save everyone. I'm not that optimistic. But I just feel like we're missing information. I wish... I wish we weren't stumbling around in the dark. I wish we knew what else we could do..."
The attack on Londinium comes quickly as night falls. Woodwose's army strikes fast and viciously, but are driven back by Percival and Gareth; Yako and Ritsu hold the fort as best as they can. Percival activates his spear, revealing it as the Lance of Selection - blowing Woodwose into the lake, and claiming victory.
THE BALL — 39 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 6 DAYS REMAINING
Ritsu and Artoria receive an invitation to a ball held by Murian in Gloucester. After being properly outfitted by Habetrot, the group make tracks into the city. Yako, having no invitation and not being chosen as a +1, decides to spend her time looking around the city and spending time in Pepe's shop, where she asks about the nature of humans inside the Lost World while they take her measurements. (In the meantime, her team enjoy a trip out on the town on their own, to reconvene later.) Yako expresses her concerns to Pepe, who chastises her for coming this far only to get cold feet. Yako leaves the store with new formalwear and mulls around the gardens outside the castle, waiting for news (and, if Ritsu knows her well enough, some decent food.)
...It's boring. What if... The walls look easy enough to climb. There's windowsills here, some facade work there... Before Yako can tell herself if it's a bad idea, she's scaling the wall, no denizens below her to look. She hoists herself into a balcony overlooking the garden... to come face-to-face with the fallen Fairy Knight Gawain - no, Barghest, wearing a fine evening gown. Oops. "You... You're the companion of that human boy. You look like a fairy, but there's something off about you." Barghest grips Yako's shoulder, keeping her in place. Haha. Oops. Hahaha. Danger. "It's almost like you're also..." Just then, the doors open, and she meets Ritsu's gaze, then Artoria's, then da Vinci and Muramasa; they all shoot her an exasperated stare. She gives a peace sign back. Teehee. After some chatting and explaining the circumstances, da Vinci invites Barghest to try to leave for the outside world with the fairies she wants to protect; Barghest invites the group to her manor in Manchester before departing.
The group sneak around to the bell tower, and Yako infiltrates the party to enjoy some of the banquet before it's gone. After having her fill of chocolates, cake, cheeses, and steak, Yako hears a rumbling above her, faintly... Sneaking past some doors using lockpicking spells learned from her Caster, she makes her way to what seems to be a huge stage and theater seating, with fairies in masks... Not feeling like getting chased around today, Yako hides behind a curtain and watches the fight between Artoria and Fairy Knight Tristan in hiding. (Though she could swear when Beryl waved at the crowd, he glanced her way and smiled... Eugh.) It isn't long before the third bell is ringing for Artoria's victory, and Yako decides to make a speedy exit from the scene.
TO ORKNEY AND BACK — 40 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 5 DAYS REMAINING
Detouring on their way to Orkney, the gang stops by Barghest's mansion in Manchester. Yako stays behind, saying, "I'll get too angry if I have to look at her face again. I heard the death cries of the fairies in Wales. Even if they don't die for good, they're still..." She roams the town some, picking up rumors, getting into fights, and writing down her thoughts and observations. After the detour, the team make for Orkney, where they see the destroyed remains of this Lostbelt's Tree. Habetrot gives them a brief overview of the history of the Queen's Calendar, which Yako tries to listen to but loses interest halfway through. Later, while making camp, Habetrot shares an even older history, telling the story of 'six fairies, an endless sea, and Cernunnos.'
While in the Mirror Clan's territory, they drive away Koyanskaya's Mors Dragon, learn Fairy Knight Lancelot's true identity Melusine, and are led by a man taking the guise of Yako's old Caster - Sage Grim, he calls himself - to the bell's location, where they put down the lingering regrets of Tonelico and her Black Knight... and find Mash, who had been sealed away for, apparently, thousands of years. After sorting out the timeline, they ring the bell at Orkney, sort things out with Knocknarea in Edinburgh, and make their way to Oxford.
Baobhan-Sith attacks Ritsu and co., in the process trapping Artoria, Ritsu, and Yako in the "Garden of Lost Will". Yako wanders scenes from her past, facing her anxieties and fears—wandering a bleached-white Earth alone, after everything she'd done to bring her future back. Endlessly wandering, no friend or foe in sight, only white sand under her feet and blue sky overhead, she starts to give into the despair in her heart when the illusion shatters, dragging her back to reality - to the underground prison of New Darlington.
THINGS GO DOWNHILL — 43 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 2 DAYS REMAINING
Peperon, Mash, and Yako's Servants free Artoria, Ritsu, and Yako from the prison, and things get very bad, very fast. Peperoncino takes on hundreds of humans infected with Mors, receiving the full brunt of their curses; Beryl attacks, fatally wounding Peperon, but taking the brunt of the Mors curse and a severe wound, then fleeing; and the church above their heads crumbles - Yako blows a hole in the wall to escape out of. Ritsu and Yako are reunited with da Vinci and get back on the road toward Oxford, where they ring another bell. The Queen's army attacks Londinium, and it's ugly; they lose Gareth and every resident and soldier living in Londinium, even though they eke out a small victory. The nothern army bolsters Londinium's lost ranks, Artoria tolls the final bell, and the armies prepare for the siege on Camelot.
Yako wrestles with her feelings that evening, and the despairing future she saw in the Garden. Admitting to herself that there are things she still fears, and that the future is a huge unknown, she wonders if she and Ritsu haven't just sealed a terrible fate for themselves... to say nothing of everyone they've lost along the way. She doesn't dare bring it up to Mash, da Vinci, or Ritsu, or even her own Servants, out of fear of seeming like she's lost her nerve. Whatever the future looks like, they have a present to protect.
TIME LIMIT — 45 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL — 0 DAYS REMAINING
The day has arrived to lay siege to Camelot. Yako joins the main party and splits off in the upper districts to reconvene at the castle through different entrances. Yako fights past guards, arriving at the throne room in time to fend off attacks against Ritsu's weakened party, though her sword still won't let her attack Morgan directly. She doesn't need to, though; a proclamation from Aurora permeates the city naming Morgan the false Queen and perpetrator of the Calamities, and the fairies of Camelot turn against Morgan, ripping her to shreds. A bell tolls. Its sound is distorted, anything but victorious.
--- END OF PART 2 ---
CALAMITY — 49-50 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL
Although it's Chaldea's victory, Holmes urges the gang to prepare for the worst, as there are too many untied loose ends. Castoria elects Knocknarea to be crowned Queen, but Knocknarea is betrayed at the coronation and killed - and the killing spreads to the armies outside. Coral accuses the Chaldea party of poisoning and killing Knocknarea, and sends Melusine to attack them; the party barely manages to escape, and the seat of Queen is left empty. Many fairies are turning into Mors. There's no doubt about it: the Great Calamity has begun in earnest, and the Lostbelt is collapsing. Upon returning to the Storm Border, instrument estimates put the Collapse at 2 days, and the Calamity is arising from the Great Pit.
Their new directives: Stop the Collapse, and retrieve the Divine Construct Rhongomyniad. They have just a few hours to rest, heal up, restock, and head back out for another battle. Yako uses the materials stash to bolster her Servants' skills, and puts away her various acquisitions from the Lostbelt into a storage container in her room, ensuring the clothes she obtained from Peperoncino will not be harmed.
The world outside is burning; corpses litter the cities. The temperature in the air is in the thousands of degrees. At Camelot, a giant creature covered in curses has emerged from the Great Pit, and crushes Camelot in its wake with massive curse hands. Koyanskaya's tails fend off the hands, but she soon disappears, cryptic as ever, and the Storm Border barely escapes from Camelot, unable to retrieve Rhongomyniad. If the Calamities aren't stopped here and escape to PHH, they'll incinerate the world. Everything seems lost... until Merlin's friendly face hijacks the screens, illuminating the means for their victory.
It rests on Artoria's shoulders. She, Ritsu, Yako, Mash, and Muramasa—and only them, he adds—will make their way through Albion's corpse to the Inner Sea of the Planet, and Artoria will complete her true mission. On their way, they fight against the will of Albion, learn the truth of Avalon le Fae and the Insect of the Abyss, and arrive to a paradise unmarred by sin. Yako wonders if she ought to stay at the entrance, but Mash drags her along with the party. It's an utterly beautiful sight that etches itself in Yako's heart; she cries, grateful she had the chance to see something this stirring.
They fight against Artoria's memories, guiding her through the seasons until she reaches the Place of Selection. Once she arrives, she will become the Holy Sword, stabilize Human Order, and the Lostbelt will fade. The storm inside her heart is vicious, manifesting as the ugly truths she encountered along her journey. At the end, there is no 'Spring' memory awaiting her; no happy memories to call her own. She runs ahead. Yako hangs back, wondering what she ought to say. Muramasa implores them to leave it to him. Merlin, in the meantime, explains the process of Artoria's conversion; Yako becomes angry, then sullen, wondering why she should have to take on such a burden.
Artoria comes back. Muramasa doesn't. It's not hard to put two and two together. They obtain the Essence of the Holy Sword, the 'Star' that has been born upon the planet. Yako can even feel Calesvol crying out in joy. With Artoria's new skills and the Holy Sword Essence in hand, Merlin sends them to two hours before the Collapse, to defeat Cernunnos before it becomes unstoppable. —Of course, they have to contend with two other Calamities first. They split their forces: while Yako and Percival deal with the Red Calamity, Albion, Ritsu and Mash handle the Black Calamity, the Black Dog. Yako is finally able to turn her sword against Albion, but Percival is the one to strike its heart.
Both Calamities suppressed, Yako moves to rejoin Ritsu and Mash, who are exhausted from their own battle. She senses bad energy and creates a weak Bounded Field around them using Seimei's techniques, stopping Beryl in his tracks. While Mash and Ritsu are weakened, Yako fights Beryl with her Servants' and Douman's support, burdening him with curses. Even though her sword won't let itself be turned against Fairies, Yako's absolute conviction in her ideals lets her overrule Calesvol's restrictions, turning it into the Sword of Conviction—and letting her cut Beryl Gut's head from his body. The sword breaks in half, corrupted. Yako watches Beryl's blood soil her boots and leggings. An evil born from a heart like hers, but unlike her in every way, shaped by his choices and the choices of others on him... Silently, she prays that he finds a new start in whatever world lies beyond.
In fighting Cernunnos, Yako, swordless, stays behind to bolster Caster Cú's magical energy through her old contract's pathways as he deploys his sanctuary spells and absorbs Cernunnos's curses. It's a long and tough battle; Yako holds firm, deploying purification spells to shave off even just a few curses. "After you saved me, all I wanted... was a chance to tell you," she says, fighting through her exhaustion, "what a hero you were to me. How much I looked up to you. ...How much I still do. Your Saber says he looks up to me, too, and I don't know how to feel. I realized that you were just bullshitting things most of the time, trying to act like a little bit like a mentor. Well... Maybe I can be for you what you were for me. Pay it forward. Or back. Even if you don't remember any of this, I feel like it has meaning. It has to. So... thank you for everything. I'll carry on your legacy, whether you like it or not. I'll always wear these Command Spells with pride."
The twelve spears are deployed, exposing Cernunnos's core; Ritsu and Mash at last deploy the Black Barrel, destroying Cernunnos. Caster Cú, his duty done, offers a few words of encouragement before departing.
A DREAM —
Oberon reveals his true nature: the Insect of the Abyss, the Pit that will swallow Britain whole, Pretender-class Oberon-Vortigern. The Collapse is still on cue, with a vast fog devouring Fairy Britain. Everything, everything, falls into the void, endlessly falling. Yako falls into a nightmare she can't wake up from, though its contents are hazy. A beautiful star appears in the fog, drawing her out of her nightmare, and waking her up on the surface of the Storm Border just in time to face Oberon-Vortigern with the rest of Chaldea.
As the battle ends, Yako falls into a dream once more. It's hazy and indistinct, but smells like flowers and sweets. The storm has parted, and she's greeted with twilit colors and a figure clad in white. "That sword has done well, but being pushed past one's limitations is different for those who are created than those who are born. You shouldn't be so rough on your allies, Yako! Hahaha. Now, heed my words: Take this child to the edge of the Inner Sea, and from there, make an offering..."
EPILOGUE —
At this point, the journey in Britain is over. Chaldea’s mission is completed, and the Lostbelt will disappear soon. Yako, in the last few hours of the Lostbelt’s existence, makes a pilgrimage to return the sundered Calesvol to the Lady of the Lake at the edge of Avalon. Vivian, seeing its damaged state, purifies and repairs the blade using Yako’s own Origin—her soul—as the bridging material. The blade’s silver shines as mana streaks across its blade, and its gems change color to the brilliant crimson dye of her soul. Vivian kisses her forehead, chasing away the weariness in her body. “Fare you well, Chaldean,” she bids, “and may you find victory.” With that, she disappears at the Lostbelt’s edge. Yako returns to the Shadow Border, ready to depart for home.
HOMECOMING —
After LB6, Yako finds herself adrift back at Chaldea. Following a grand adventure, she struggles a bit to fall back into the rhythms of everyday life. She retreats to the simulation room as she does in her melancholies, often losing herself to fantasies and memories. After a few months, she’s able to find comfort in Chaldea life again, though often seems wistful and can get lost in daydreams. She's developed a new sense of herself with an unshakable certainty. Rather than someone desperately trying to attain an unreachable ideal, Yako seems much more sure of herself, and her playfulness has less neuroticism to it. She seems like she’s finally grown up.
Her swordplay improves with guidance from Merlin, Lancelot, and Bedivere, and Calesvol’s new evolution lets her imbue the blade with magical effects more easily, giving her an edge against opponents with low magical resistances and against monsters whose forms are composed of magic. It feels as though a mass of her magic circuits have become concentrated in the blade itself, like a part of her body. She can summon it to her side with a thought, letting herself use new and riskier techniques in her swordplay and magic use, but if it becomes damaged, she feels it as keenly as if it were a part of her body. Even her Magic Circuits have been given a boost in quality, letting her use magic and transfer energy to her Servants with far more ease than before. It even seems like the sword is regenerating the part of her magic circuits healed from irresponsible magic use before, though it's slow going.
With the sixth Lostbelt behind her and the final stretch in sight, Yako resumes her training in earnest. There is an end in sight, and they will see home again. They have to. They must. And yet, a bit of doubt eats away at her: What if the world... is bleached for good? What if there's no 'tomorrow' after today?... All she can do is hope that there is a sunrise waiting for them after it all.
maybe in another timeline yako is vocalist for a punk band and she sounds like shit she can't hold a tune her voice cracks on high notes and low notes she keeps going until she can't breathe and she's out of sync with the instrumentalists but she's pouring her heart into this shitty garage band music screaming about how shit her life is and how she wants to spread her wings and leave her shitty hometown and like. i would download it and cry over it at 2am
