oh lazerbeak we're really in it now

hi!! im layla (she/her), im 27,hella bi hella ace. fictional robots got me Fucked Up. slowly constructing my own verse via shit posts. if you hate megop congrats on having taste but fair warning I'm not so enlightened

[red-dyed-sarumane]

stop calling your own work slop

[red-dyed-sarumane]

stop forcing yourself to disengage with what you love because a layer of irony makes it more comfortable. admit you care and let yourself feel good about it

[brobotsbro]

new banner bc my brother is reading the comics and found Knife Cat Optimus

he looks so smug it's hilarious

[thevoidmeows]

I don't go here, but I thought y'all might like this-

Soundwave is my dad's favorite transformer, so for his birthday I made a custom crochet model for him based on the g1 design :]

He can open up and has the mini cassettes of Ravage and Laserbeak inside! His arms and head are also posable :]

[brobotsbro]

God I can't get over how TF one did Starscream's voice. Initially I was disappointed he just sounded like Steve Buschemi but then for them to show us HOW HIS VOICE GOT FUCKED UP omfg. Cinema.

[brobotsbro]

I lived bitches. So far the only effect is that my nose itches really bad.

And also that I realized halfway through writing this that I was writing that my wisdom teeth were what was itching.

[brobotsbro]

Don't know how I'm supposed to eat or drink or take medicine or sleep or do any fucking thing with this mother fucking GAUZE

It's on the verge of activating my fucking gag reflex

[brobotsbro]

I lived bitches. So far the only effect is that my nose itches really bad.

And also that I realized halfway through writing this that I was writing that my wisdom teeth were what was itching.

[mintaikkcorpse]

The stereotype of doctor/nurse characters being motherly and caring, meanwhile Knockout is out here being an arrogant, cunty bitch, who literally said that he prefers breaking things more than putting them back together, and has the vibes of an old Disney villain, while also being the doctor character is the funniest thing to me. Like, slay ig

[brobotsbro]

K so heads up tomorrow (I hope, I pray) I am going to be getting my wisdom teeth removed so if I get on here and say something crazy, that isn't me, it's Evil Me and you need to disregard it

[brobotsbro]

My prayers went unanswered, they could not remove my wisdom teeth but they will be removing them on Thursday for real this time. Evil Layla is still biding her time.

[brobotsbro]

K so heads up tomorrow (I hope, I pray) I am going to be getting my wisdom teeth removed so if I get on here and say something crazy, that isn't me, it's Evil Me and you need to disregard it

[ordinarylawnmower]

marry shitscram yall

[former-portland-mando]

Season’s Treasons!

[brobotsbro]

Discussing transformers with my brother. Long text message screenshots below.

Featuring: is Primus a fr fr God? Is the Matrix evil? What the fuck are the Simarils?

Context: Dawn is the crazy detailed transformers fanfic he's been apparently writing in his head for years

Lynsi is our sister. She is not a transformers super fan like me and our brother and I think we need to Change that

[brobotsbro]

I'm moderately drunk rn and I want y'all to know I love you. Thank you for being here with me and listening to my silly mutterings about transformers.

[0oxxo]

Oh ):

[penny-anna]

Question time!

Would Knockout choose a cybertruck for his alt mode?

yes

no

Voting ended onFeb 15, 2025

Evidence in favour:

He is a fashion conscious car guy who might get caught up in the trend

He is a dick who might perhaps admire Elon Musk

He is evil

Evidence against:

As a Car Guy who would know better

He's very vain and cybertrucks are fuck ugly

Embodying a cybertruck would probably suck bcos they are terrible

[penny-anna]

imagine you're a mechanic in the Transformers universe and you have a car come in with engine trouble so you open it up and the engine is just full of some kind of weird fast-spreading rust. never seen anything like it before

so you're like. hmmm. and you call the Autobots like 'hi I know this number is supposed to be for reporting possible Decepticon activity but I've got some kind of alien bullshit going on and I don't know who to ask'. they hand you over to Ratchet and Rachet is like 'hm I think I know what that is but let me come run some tests'

SO Ratchet comes over and has a look at the engine and is like yeah as I thought. its crotch rust. and you're like 'crotch rust??' and he's like yeah its crotch rust. its a. well I think humans call them STIs? its like that.

so you're like '..........are you telling me a Transformer fucked this car' and he's like yeah. looks that way. and you're like 'what in the world' and he's like I don't know. people are freaks. anyway we don't want this stuff spreading so I'll be back tomorrow with the right nanites. keep it away from the other cars.

he comes back the next day like okay so I have good news and I have bad news. you're like 'well what's the good news' and he's like WELL I spent last night testing all the autobots for crotch rust and they're all clean. so you're like 'does that mean the car wasn't fucked' and he's like oh no the car was definitely fucked there's no other way this could have happened.

so you're like 'wait. are you saying a Decepticon fucked this car?' and he's like yes. we have a Decepticon fucking cars. and they are giving the cars STIs. thank you for bringing this to our attention here are the nanites goodbye.

[brobotsbro]

today is my birthday :)

[laylanatorseventeen]

The Decepticons use the Cortical Psychic Patch on Optimus to steal tactical information, etc, but it doesnt work because it turns out that internally Optimus is constantly just screaming at the top of his voice because this Christ-like war leader shit was not on the librarian application

[sunset-synthetica]

I have so many fucking thoughts about this scenario i’m glad people are realizing how chaotic Optimus’ mind probably is

[interfactionfracas]

The reason why Optimus is to calm and quiet is because 1) he has a magnificent poker face 2) he’s waiting for is poor stressed out mind to produce one (1) thought that isn’t panic. 3) he absolutely can’t let anyone know how much panic can fit inside his head. The Autobots are betting their lives on his leadership, under no circumstances can he let them know how often he’s winging it between sheer gut instinct and “What Would A Real Prime Do?”

[unimooshi]

Internally he probably just does a Google coin flip whenever he has to make a decision and it just so happens that Primus is on his side and it works out somehow. Then later when they’re celebrating their victory and congratulating OP he just smiling and nodding, but the entire time in his head is just empty

[optimus-faked-his-own-death]

okay okay but what if the Matrix was actually a magic eight ball and that’s how Optimus makes all of his decisions

[unimooshi]

Oh my god this is the greatest addition to a post I’ve ever seen I’m crying shakskskskak imagine he does a little dance to shake the 8 ball then he makes his decision I can’t—😭😭

[optimus-faked-his-own-death]

arcee: What should we do, Prime???

Optimus: I will ask the Primes of the past for help. *turns around and hides the magic 8 ball Matrix close to his chest as he shakes it for an answer (Ratchet is sighing in the background and preparing a groundbridge to skedaddle out of there) and the magic eight ball reads “Ask again later”* I am afraid that none of them have faced a situation like this and so we must go on to forge our own path. Whatever we will do, we will do it together.

Team Prime: *cheers*

Optimus: *sighs heavily and mutters* this is third fragging time I used that speech on them and they still haven’t noticed.

[unimooshi]

OP at this point stressed beyond his librarian mind and shaking the magic 8 ball for the 100000th time to win the war and it somehow working out despite all odds and using the same speeches 300 times:

[optimus-faked-his-own-death]

yeah!!!! plus I’m not sure whether it’s funnier if Ratchet knows that the matrix is a magic eight ball or if he doesn’t and Optimus has somehow hid the matrix before Ratchet does a medical exam on him or! OR! if Optimus is hiding it so badly and Ratchet knows but because he feels bad he pretends that he doesn’t know about the magic eight ball matrix and subtly helps OP out