The Office of the Public Pretender

I object on the grounds that I hate you.

[anxietyproblem]

[nick-nellson]

The Social Network (2010) dir. David Fincher

[brokenlegalese]

When the client’s mommy won’t stop calling demanding I “do something” for her precious baby serving time in another state

[brokenlegalese]

Management when GenZ isn’t interested in unreasonable hours and shit pay

[brokenlegalese]

When your voicemail box is full because a client who has a warrant for FTA calls multiple times every day and I’m physically in court too much to get ahead of it

[brokenlegalese]

When a judge unapologetically and publicly drags the prosecutor’s whole office

[brokenlegalese]

When the head prosecutor is forced to publicly claim a recent trial loss for his office was because I put on a good case

[charbutonmain-deactivated202302]

reminder that this is a pro choice blog, because access to a medical procedure shouldn’t be a debate, and if you think otherwise, fuck off

[brokenlegalese]

When I get reappointed on a file where the client screamed at me, cussed me out, and proclaimed he was going to hire private counsel because I’m the worst attorney ever

[brokenlegalese]

When my grown-ass client’s mommy calls me after every hearing to tell me everything I do is wrong

[brokenlegalese]

When I have a case going to trial that will require me to pretend to be sensitive on any subject I cannot take seriously

[brokenlegalese]

Leaving court after sentencing on one of your most annoying clients of all time

[milesgmorales]

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021) dir. Jon Watts

[brokenlegalese]

When the transcript of your client’s jail calls to the victim comes through

[brokenlegalese]

When you’ve worked out a great deal for your client, you just need to get them through sentencing without them doing something to mess it up

[brokenlegalese]

Most client meetings

[brokenlegalese]

When a client who usually gets caught with pounds of meth gets busted this time with weed instead