This needs a translation lol.
Hemulen: That soup was so good. I’d like to have more, please.
Moominpappa: You can get more from the kitchen.
At the kitchen, Hemulen: Yo, Moominmamma, check this out.
Moominpappa: Hemulen, waht the fcuk?
as was foreseeable, you were more bitter than a radish over your lover’s affairs in sumeru; with the pesky follower he met in the midst of his search for godhood being the victim of your ire. she should be grateful for your show of mercy to spare her life, or else you would’ve jumped on the chance in a heartbeat.
it could’ve ended well if he didn’t dangle the idiot leech of a researcher’s devotion over your head, using it to his heart’s content to keep you obedient. “haypasia would not dare to behave so insolently,” and “haypasia would’ve done what i asked without question.”
Stares judgementally at you, expecting you to revoke the question
Pinches the bridge if his nose and sighs when you don't
His scowl crumbles a little when you seem upset
"So you wouldn't love me if I suddenly turned into a worm."
Comes to the sudden realisation that if you're upset with him, you'll be less compliant...for science
C'mon, he's not gonna admit he's in it for the cuddles, not even in his head
Brings you a set of blueprints and a glass enclosure
"This is where you'd stay if you were a worm. I have three different design plans, so choose wisely because that's how your worm home will look for the rest of your life. You'll have a little worm car after four months if I haven't found a cure, however unlikely that is."
He will tell you all of his plans on what he'll do if you become a worm and you can't stop him because you started it
Your hypothetical worm situation is now fully prepared for, whether you like it or not
Wouldn't recommend because the diet he has planned for worm you doesn't look very appetising
Kazuha:
"You'd travel on my shoulder on in my pocket so I can share poetry with you."
Ruffles your hair and pinches your cheeks
If you swat him away he'll insist he was only checking if you were becoming a worm
Carries on like it was nothing after that
If you ask again he'll remind you that he'll love you regardless of what form you take
This does, unfortunately, spark some odd terms of endearment
You are now his "precious worm", "beloved wormy", "sweet wriggly", "fleshy straw", etc
They get progressively worse
But he swears it's all affectionate
"I'd love you if you became a leaf."
"That wasn't the question-"
"Every leaf has it's own tune when you play it like a flute, I wonder what yours would be."
Xiao:
Stares at you for a good while
"Why would you ever be a worm?"
You don't need to elaborate, because he'll eventually sigh and give in, intertwining his fingers with yours as he assures you he would
Still confused on why you'd be a worm though
But rest assured you would be the safest worm in the whole of Teyvat because nothing can touch you so long as Xiao is taking care of you
You're his little wormy, and he'll carry you in his palm when he's high up so you can have a nice view
Always worried he might misplace you or accidentally step on you
You've given him intrusive thoughts and now he's worried about a hypothetical that may never happen
Scaramouche:
"Would you love me if you were a worm though?"
"Scara what-"
"How do we know your worm brain has the capacity to comprehend that you're in a committed relationship with me? There's no telling whether you'll find some new worm lover who can give you that wormy connection I can't."
He's going off about how a worm couldn't possibly have any lingering feelings for a person
Mildly offended at the implication you might expect him to become a worm for you to live your worm lives together
"Me? A worm? How could you even entertain such a thought?"
You didn't, he drew his own conclusions and started overthinking
This is clearly your way of hinting that you don't feel loved enough to trust him (it's not, he is once again overthinking)
It has now been flipped on you to explain to him that you'd love him even if he became a worm because you'd adore him whether or not he loved you back
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