MATT AND SARA ARE BROS, NO HOMO

[bropane-tank]

me: i want judi to dm a game for me

matt: bro keep fighting for what you want

[bropane-tank]

pepe's eye boogers are glistening in the sun

matt, about the office dog

[bropane-tank]

Matt: I'm going to be so jacked

Matt: I'm going to be

Matt: Matt Jacked-man

[bropane-tank]

Matt: I dunno I think the hamster dance is

Matt: the least sexy thing

Matt: ever

Sara: ever?

Sara: less sexy than poo

Sara: or

Sara: genocide

[bropane-tank]

matt: bros don't let bros

matt: get upset

matt: about

matt: doing

matt: bros

matt: k I wasn't sure where that was headed

[bropane-tank]

on sara putting up the last two posts

matt: oh god you've just

matt: oh god who does Tumblr think I am?!

[bropane-tank]

matt: an economy based on endless growth is

matt: UN

matt: SUS

matt: TAIN

matt: A

matt: BLE

matt: WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB

sara: to the bropane tank

matt: bro that's not even an original quote

[bropane-tank]

matt: titanium (my jam) just came on

matt: and now all I can think of is your FFHS

sara: omfg

sara: it's not

sara: your

sara: jam

matt: yes it is :(

sara: how could it be your jam

matt: how could it not

sara: you didn't even know the lyrics

matt: I only know the lyrics to Muse songs :(

sara: so a muse song has to be your jam

sara: plug-in baby perhaps

matt: ugh but Matt B is weird

sara: omg so

matt: he sings about

matt: entropy

sara: you like entropy

matt: no I don't

matt: I just deal with it because it is inevitable

sara: oh.

[bropane-tank]

matt: oof maybe they put a sleeping powder in this wine

matt: I'm sleepy all over again last yesterday

[bropane-tank]

matt: I hate it when parents argue

matt: it's on my list of least favorite things

sara: omg what else is on your list

matt: um

matt: the only that readily comes to mind is Mitt Romney

sara: what about like

sara: rapists

matt: oh yeah I don't like rapists either

matt: list of things I don't like:

matt: parents arguing

matt: Mitt Romney

matt: rapists

matt: probably also feeling hungry

[bropane-tank]

matt: omfg R2D2

matt: he's so cute I'm dying

[bropane-tank]

Matt: can vampires even cry

Sara: i don't see why not

Sara: they have to expel moisture somehow

Matt: ...

Sara: WHAT

Matt: that's not the purpose of crying bro

[bropane-tank]

I do love me some poop talk

matt

[bropane-tank]

matt: I mean

matt: do I need to

matt: like hair

matt: to like boobs and koalas

matt: I don't like my boobs hairy and koalas have FUR

[bropane-tank]

matt: I DON'T LIKE HAIR

matt: I LIKE

matt: BOOBS

matt: also koalas

[bropane-tank]

matt: YOUR FACE IS NICE BUT I MEAN THAT IN THE MOST PLATONIC SENSE

matt: #Matt's pickup lines

[bropane-tank]

matt: I want one but I also want to be one

matt: but if I am a Koala I can't own a Koala

matt: that would be

matt: Slavery