brother æthelstan

your local monk. my pronouns are "he/him". please keep the scriptorium neat!

[brother-aethelstan]

good morrow

my name is brother æthelstan, and i am an illuminator of manuscripts at the farnham monastery. if you must address me, please use he/him/his.

forgive my brusque demeanor— a loud or messy scriptorium bothers me far more than it should, and despite my efforts, it is both these things more often than not. speak to me if you must, although i am often busy with my work.

may the lord grant peace unto thee, and please do not inform the abbot about this blog.

(ooc: i interact from @wellington-yueh. feel free to send asks! btw farnham is a real place, but farnham monastery is not)

[monkbrother-thomas]

i am straight up "jorking it" if by "jorking" you mean "pulling out" and by "it" you mean "the weeds in the herb garden"

[lady-isabella-farnham]

‘Cranking hog’, so long as ‘cranking’ means praying and ‘hog’ means ‘to the lord’

[monkbrother-thomas]

i thought "cranking my hog" would be making the pigs unhappy but that may also work!

[lady-isabella-farnham]

Wait that’s better pretend i said that

[brother-aethelstan]

if you crank the hogs, lord forgive me, i will Kill You.

[brother-aethelstan]

THEOPHANIA HAS FARROWED!!!

…CHRIST’S WOUNDS THERE ARE TEN OF THEM SEND HELP

[blacksmith-oliver]

Would you like some assistance expanding the pen brother?

[brother-aethelstan]

…please. i’ve been trying to expand it on my own, and, well. let’s just say. infirmary

[brother-aethelstan]

THEOPHANIA HAS FARROWED!!!

…CHRIST’S WOUNDS THERE ARE TEN OF THEM SEND HELP

[hildegards-abbey]

A bird with a hog head bottom

Breviary; Northern Germany, 2nd half of the 15th century: Harley MS 2975, f. 73v

[monk-the-carlo]

la lalaaa @brother-aethelstan is it not a thought that just some months ago thou werest complaining of thine lack of kissys but now thou acteth all annoyed to accept them 🤭

[brother-aethelstan]

i am trying to set up the pigpen to welcome sister theophania’s piglets. it’s stressful work. do i look like i have time for kissies? ugh. you wouldn’t know, self-important as you are.

…not that i mind

[tentacleteapot]

this could be the snart of something big

[rhodabotics]

this could be the snort of something pig

[monkbrother-thomas]

@brother-aethelstan a pig for ye!!

[brother-aethelstan]

they remind me of brother oat… who i’m sure will be a wonderful father in *checks notes*

TWO AND A HALF WEEKS?!?!?

THE GLORIOUS DAY APPROACHES!!!

[monk-the-carlo]

psssst pssst @brother-aethelstan dost thou have a minute. this is very important. am i more alike to a feline or a deer

[brother-aethelstan]

definitely feline. always stalking around demanding something.

[monk-the-carlo]

hmph. ok well i want kissys.

[brother-aethelstan]

fine. mwah. now leave me alone

[monk-the-carlo]

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you dont like me anymore :(

[brother-aethelstan]

NOT what i said

[monk-the-carlo]

psssst pssst @brother-aethelstan dost thou have a minute. this is very important. am i more alike to a feline or a deer

[brother-aethelstan]

definitely feline. always stalking around demanding something.

[monk-the-carlo]

hmph. ok well i want kissys.

[brother-aethelstan]

fine. mwah. now leave me alone

[monk-the-carlo]

psssst pssst @brother-aethelstan dost thou have a minute. this is very important. am i more alike to a feline or a deer

[brother-aethelstan]

definitely feline. always stalking around demanding something.

[brother-owain-ap-lloyd]

Do any of the brothers and sisters know who placed this book upon my desk? It is marked in a script unknown to me, but its illuminations are passing strange.

I may embark on an endeavor to translate it.

[brother-aethelstan]

i know not but let me see!

…

…no idea. the illuminations are beautiful though. when you do translate it, tell me. we could reproduce the book…

[sisterclaennis]

any takers for the farnham monastery poetry competition?!

[brother-aethelstan]

i have never been one for poetry, but i may comprise something. after all, i hear there is a reward…

[monkbrother-thomas]

on ash wednesday, one of the brothers smeared around the ash on my forehead to inscribe "dog" on it. i did not realise this until vespers. fuck my stupid baka life

[brother-aethelstan]

woof woof, brother

[lady-isabella-farnham]

Why do the monks keep holding their hands out and asking me for ‘uppies’?

[brother-aethelstan]

because i was not held as a child :/

…please?

[sisterclaennis]

just had a holy dream about jesus on the cross... naked... dripping with sweat... and blood...

naturally i woke up feeling rather sweaty myself (purely because of the power of his image of course)

[brother-aethelstan]

it happens to the best of us. tell me more so that i may… appreciate his holy image

[monk-the-carlo]

@brother-aethelstan oughhh i am weary of crowding..... may i use thine illegal secret room in the scriptorium today or art thou of similar disposition

[brother-aethelstan]

i am. but we may share, for i am doing nothing… nefarious in here.

[monk-the-carlo]

cramped !!!! move thine leg!!!!!!!

[brother-aethelstan]

you are small and fit in small places. move your own arm and then we can talk.

[monk-the-carlo]

..................................................not an arm

[brother-aethelstan]

OH CHRIST

[monk-the-carlo]

@brother-aethelstan oughhh i am weary of crowding..... may i use thine illegal secret room in the scriptorium today or art thou of similar disposition

[brother-aethelstan]

i am. but we may share, for i am doing nothing… nefarious in here.

[monk-the-carlo]

cramped !!!! move thine leg!!!!!!!

[brother-aethelstan]

you are small and fit in small places. move your own arm and then we can talk.